Sea Wolf to Tour North America Van-Surfing With His Friend “Styles” – Oh Shit, Sorry, That’s Teen Wolf

It may seem counterintuitive for someone named Sea Wolf to be traveling throughout the good ol' U.S. of A. and parts above and in between (read: Canada and Missouri) in a chartered bus when he could be traversing over water crouched on all fours, scavenging for morsels off raw leg-bones while marking his territory along the way. But we would be the last to tell pack leader Alex Brown Church what to do. With the Dangerbird-issued gem Leaves in the River behind him, Church and his collected abetters will continue to promote the guts out of it onstage with a long string of dates beginning mid-May.

This tour is the first headliner for Sea Wolf, who has/have previously played with Nada Surf and Silversun Pickups, but it is all part of an elaborate scheme for world domination: first opening slots, then a headline tour, then acquiring a speed dial list of celebrity heroes like Kim Kardashian and the “Half” from Two and a Half Men. I love it when a plan comes together

05.17.08 - Tucson, AZ - Plush #
05.19.08 - Salt Lake City, UT - In the Venue #
05.20.08 - Denver, CO - Bluebird Theater #
05.22.08 - St. Louis, MO - The Bluebird #
05.23.08 - Nashville, TN - Exit In #
05.24.08 - Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506 #
05.25.08 - Washington, DC - Rock and Roll Hotel #
05.27.08 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge #
05.28.08 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge #
05.29.08 - Philadelphia, PA - North Star #
05.30.08 - Boston, MA - Paradise #
05.31.08 - Quebec City, Quebec - Le Cercle #
06.01.08 - Montreal, Quebec - Le Divan Orange #
06.03.08 - Toronto, Ontario - El Mocambo #
06.04.08 - Detroit, MI - Fox Theater #
06.05.08 - Chicago, IL - Schubas #
06.06.08 - Minneaplois, MN - 7th Street Entry #
06.07.08 - Winnipeg, Manitoba - Parkway Theatre #
06.09.08 - Calgary, Alberta - The Republik #
06.10.08 - Edmonton, Alberta - Velvet Underground #
06.12.08 - Vancouver, British Columbia - Media Club #
06.13.08 - Victoria, British Columbia - Lucky Bar #
06.14.08 - Seattle, WA - High Dive #
06.15.08 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge #
06.17.08 - San Francisco, CA - The Independent #
06.19.08 - Los Angeles, CA - The Echoplex #
06.20.08 - San Diego, CA - The Casbah #

# The Jealous Girlfriends

Still here? Well, we would be remiss to not mention that Sea Wolf has contributed the exclusive “Song of the Magpie” to an Augusten Burroughs audio book. A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father will be available April 29 and features Burroughs' reading alongside songs by Sea Wolf, Patti Smith (with daughter Jesse), Ingrid Michaelson, and Tegan (sans Sara).

TMT Poetry Corner: 90% of Amazon MP3 Store Users Have Never Purchased Music From iTunes

Amazon's MP3 Store is Growing at an Alarming Rate

Will Amazon Seal Apple's Fate?
90% of Amazon MP3 Customers Never Used the iTunes Music Store

Thats Impressive, Considering this Nation Is an iPod Whore

NPD Group are to Credit For This Study

Such An Incredible Indication That Steve Jobs is Not Everyone's Buddy

Amazon is Second and iTunes Is Still Number One

With Such Competition, Everyone Can Have Fun

Such Good News

No More Record Industry Blues

Oh No, What's This?

Here Are Some Details We Can't Dismiss:

Digital Purchases Are Up, But Piracy Is Still on the Rise

DRM is Dead and The RIAA Tells Us More Lies

What Will Happen in the End?

Will The Pirates or The RIAA Ever Bend?

TMT Interviews Brian Wilson For This News Story

Mango Starr: Hey man! I'm Mango from Tiny Mix Tapes, an online dating/music magazine.

Brian Wilson: Dude, I know you! I'm a big fan of your writing. That one story you did on Death Cab? Brilliant.

Mango Starr: Thanks, thanks. I'm really excited for this interview. Your publicist says I only have 10 minutes though...

Brian Wilson: Ha, yeah, sorry. As they say where I come from, "Less do dis!"

Mango Starr: Okay, so tell me about grapes.

Brian Wilson: Well, grapes grow in clusters of 6 to 300, and can be crimson, black, dark blue, yellow, green and pink. However, "white" grapes are actually green in color, and are evolutionarily derived from the red grape.

Mango Starr: Interesting. Go on, please!

Brian Wilson: Mutations in two regulatory genes of white grapes turn off production of anthocyanins which are responsible for the color of red grapes. Anthocyanins and other pigment chemicals of the larger family of polyphenols in red grapes are responsible for the varying shades of purple in red wines.

Mango Starr: What about seedless grapes?

Brian Wilson: Seedlessness is a highly desirable subjective quality in table grape selection, and seedless cultivars now make up the overwhelming majority of table grape plantings. Because grapevines are vegetatively propagated by cuttings, the lack of seeds does not present a problem for reproduction. It is, however, an issue for breeders, who must either use a seeded variety as the female parent or rescue embryos early in development using tissue culture techniques.

Mango Starr: Wow, that's crazy. I'd like to be a grape breeder someday.

Brian Wilson: Hahaha! Whatever, dude...

Mango Starr: What do you mean?

Brian Wilson: Well, being a grape breeder takes a lot of work. It's not like writing a silly news story. It takes "real" work, you know?

Mango Starr: Ahh, I could see that...

Brian Wilson: Anyhoo, I have to bust. Sorry to end this early. But I'm assuming you're publishing this as a "news story," so it's probably already too long.

Mango Starr: Good point. Anyway, you have my number!

Brian Wilson: Indeed! Expect a ring-a-ding soon!

Tourdates (via BrooklynVegan):

Bollywood Film Producer to Pay 20 Million Rupees for Music-Copyright Infringement; Producer to Composer: “It’s A Secret To Everybody”

Okay, I'll be honest. When the mail room kid brought me this scandalous story, I was a little disheartened. Oh, Bollywood! I always thought that you were the place where magic lived and dreams were made! Who knew that, beneath your multi-colored, escapist veil of deliciously illogical song and dance routines, you could be such a corrupted place? Come on, readers! Am I the only one who is outraged??

Alas, one of the last vestiges of our noble humanity has crumbled. In what is apparently being called a "landmark judgment," a Bollywood filmmaker has been ordered to pay 20 million rupees (that's $5 million U.S. dollars) to renowned(?) jingle composer Ram Sampath in a music-copyright infringement case.

Following an April 10 hearing, the Bombay High Court ruled that Mumbai-based Bollywood filmmaker/swindler Rakesh Roshan's film production company Filmkraft must pay Sampath, who claimed that two tracks and two remixes (don't ask) from Rochan's latest and presumably greatest film, uh... titled Krazzy 4... were lifted from a jingle that he had composed last year for the Sony Ericsson company. That's krazzy!

Justice did prevail, however, as Judge D. G. Karnik ruled that Rakesh and his sneaky composer/brother, Rajesh Roshan (who composed the Krazzy 4 soundtrack), were "guilty of copyright violations and plagiarism." The judge also added, classily, that "to my untrained ear, the music (in the two works) appeared to be similar." Soooo krazzy!!

Anyway, the court initially passed a thing called a "stay order" to block the film's release until the disputed songs were removed, but, well, Bollywood simply could not wait for Krazzy 4, so that order was quickly overturned after Filmkraft agreed to pay the cuckolded composer damages and give "due credit" to Sampath, as per the initial legal notice that he filed on March 24, just after the Krazzy 4 soundtrack was released. Hella krazzy!!! Bollywood, I mourn for thee...

Now, who's in for going to see this thing with me? The fourth movie is always the best, you know.

No Age Tour: Best Mother’s Day Present Ever or Opportunity to Get Really Shitfaced? If the Answer is “Both,” You Win an Incredibly Awkward Morning After

Mssrs. Spunt and Randall are going on tour in Europe, and their stop at ATP is conveniently timed on May 11 for maximum family-bonding. Awww. So if your mom likes fuzzed-out punk beats, ditch the flowers and take her out to hang with the cool kids. Nothing says “I love you” like accidentally hitting the woman who brought you into this world in the face with your arms flailing around.

But if you’re one of those people who just don’t “get” No Age, you should treat this tour differently. Although we here at TMT voted Weirdo Rippers one of our favorite albums of 2007, not everyone feels the same way. Not to fear, though! A couple months ago, I was checkin’ up on the band’s Last.fm page and saw the following note in their comment box:

“I didn’t get this band until I was drunk and puked up in my room to it.”

I can verify that being drunk and listening to No Age is pretty awesome. You, dear reader, already know from our Shitfaced Newsathon that some of us (not all) here at TMT condone ingestion of liquor, so why not take this fellow’s advice and cover your own beloved carpet in vomit!? If it’s for the excellent cause of liking good music, the cleaning bill should be worth it.

Tourdates:

Broken Spindles Tour; Did You Know That The World “Spindle” Has Multiple Meanings?

According to Wikipedia, the word “spindle” takes on a lot of different meanings depending on context. It can be part of a bicycle pedal, “a cellular structure organizing and separating the chromosomes during cell division,” or a 40-foot sculpture made from cars in Berwyn, Illinois. Who knew?

The word spindle is also used in the band name Broken Spindles, a Saddle Creek band consisting of The Faint’s Joel Peterson. Feel free to ask Peterson anything you want about spindles during his upcoming tour. I hear he’s quite knowledgeable.

Spin spin spindles:

& Styrofoam

Kayo Dot to Release New LP on Hydra Head, Dates with Earth

Kayo Dot, featuring Toby Driver and Mia Matsumiya, are set to release a new album, Blue Lambency Downward, out May 6 on Hydra Head Records. As a professional journalist, I would describe their music as caliginous, crepuscular, dismal, sepulchral, and tenebrous. But it can also be anomalous, errant, and freakish. Here, take a listen for yourself. Who knows... maybe you'll describe their music as "awesome" on a blog or something. But you should probably let me handle the descriptions and just stick to the listening. Wouldn't want you to addle yourself. (You probably don't even know what that means.)

Blue Lambency Downward tracklisting:

1. Blue Lambency Downward
2. Clelia Walking
3. Right Hand is the One I Want
4. The Sow Submits
5. The Awkward Wind Wheel
6. The Useless Ladder
7. Symmetrical Arizona

Kayo Dot tourdates:
05.04.08 - Washington D.C. - Rock and Roll Hotel ^
05.05.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s ^
05.06.08 - New York, NY - The Knitting Factory ^
05.25.08 - TBA, France - TBA $
05.26.08 - Paris, France - Main d’Oeuvres $
05.27.08 - TBA, Switzerland - TBA $
05.28.08 - Luzerne, Switzerland - Treibhaus $
05.29.08 - Namur, Belgium - Belvedere $
05.30.08 - Luxembourg - Dqliq $
05.31.08 - Munster, Germany - Gleis 22 $
06.01.08 - TBA, Benelux - TBA
06.02.08 - Berlin, Germany - Cassiopeia
06.03.08 - Copenhagen, Denmark - Lades Kaelder
06.04.08 - Dresden, Germany - Az Conni
06.05.08 - Prague, CZ -Chateau Rouge
06.06.08 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk
06.07.08 - Frankfurt, Germany - Elfer
06.08.08 - Rotterdam, Netherlands - Worm

^ Earth

$ Gregor Samsa

Meg Baird of Espers Is Doing A Solo Tour for the Soul (Don’t You Like It When TMT Headlines & Stories Have Less Sarcasm And More Introspective Thought?)

Sarcasm is a fickle thing, fellow TMT readers. Some of us are good at it, and some of us think we're good at it. Most people think that sarcasm is tough to write, but I think it's tough to read! Let's face it, it's both hard to dish out and hard to take in. You never know what to believe when a TMT writer admits they find the new Mariah Carey single playing in their heads on a daily basis or when Hanky Panky says the Sub Pop 20th anniversary fest will be "mediocre" (TMT News). You also probably don't really know what we think of Mr P. A lot of the time we talk about how big of an asshole he is, and we barely focus on how incredible of a guy he is and how his grammar skills rock. This also begs another question: why do we spend so much time writing about him? No one else does this except for us. I think we all just want to bone him but are too afraid to admit it. [Ready for a bonin' anytime, cutie. -- Editor]

Writing about Meg Baird of the Espers can be just as fickle. You ever have that feeling when you just don't know much about a subject or a particular person and you end up just winging it? Yeah, I feel that way a lot! I don't typically "wing it" in the traditional sense (I do research and fact-checking), but with a low-key musician like Meg Baird, you can't really say much of anything. Except that she plays dope folk music, has an album called Dear Companion, plays in Espers, and is touring. That's all you really need to know about her, and I'd like to think that if you haven't heard of Meg Baird you'll go look her up on MySpace and see if she's your cup of tea. If she is, then you can visit her at the following shows: