The Legendary Pink Dots Plan Nationwide Tour and New Album in October; The Unremarkable Pink Dots Eat Cold SpaghettiO’s in the Dark and Wonder Where They Went Wrong
It really bothers me that Britney Spears is pop music’s current craziest individual. Even though she’s little more than white trash with a Bentley, Brit-Brit has had the world transfixed for years with positively zany antics like not wearing underpants, driving poorly, and shaving her head, making it downright sad that the rap sheet of America’s premier loony reads like the reasons why some pimply junior varsity wrestler got grounded for the weekend. But worst of all, with the dawn of her latest VMA-driven comeback, Britney suddenly isn’t crazy anymore! Apparently she was going through a rough patch and now she’s back on track. Jesus Christ, I hate it when I get ripped off by some asshole who was already ripping me off in the first place!
That’s why I love The Legendary Pink Dots. I know that no matter how many years pass, no matter how many albums they release, no matter how many universes they visit and conquer, Edward Ka-Spel and company will never cease to be batcrap insane. Ka-Spel (a.k.a. Prophet Qa-Spel a.k.a. Che Banana a.k.a. D'Archangel) will never fail to spin me a wonderful tale about how some gnome keeps stealing his hat, why tooth enamel prevents most humans from becoming self-actualized, or how the real number of the beast is 834 (that one is actually true). It’s nice not having to worry about The Legendary Dots suddenly becoming sane since I know it’ll never happen, and in a world corrupted by normalcy, it’s nice to have something like that to depend on .
The Britain-born but Dutch-bred Dots’ crusade of crazy will march upon the world with their new album Plutonium Blonde, particularly the bizarreness bereaved USA on their upcoming American tour. The record is slated for October 7, and the tour will follow a little more than a week later. Don’t worry, the whole mess will be an assuredly wacky affair, just what this country deserves.
Pan-European Indie Label Group Attacks EC’s Decision to Allow Sony Corporation Buyout of Sony BMG (Because In Other Parts of the World, People Actually Freak Out When This Shit Happens)
Thanks to the European Commission's decision to let Sony Corporation gobble up Sony BMG, we're one step closer to a multi-headed monster that will be known as Sony Music Entertainment Inc. The EC's 2007 decision to allow the merger means that Sony Corporation of America is now free to acquire the 50% share held by Bertelsmann AG of Germany in Sony BMG. Yikes.
Pan-European indie labels body Impala has gone public with its outrage, and co-president Michel Lambot says: "The commission needs to completely reassess its view of the music market. They have just let the world's largest consumer electronics company merge with the second largest music company without any detailed investigation." Yeah, no shit, but no one else was gonna say it, because... oh right, this kind of thing happens all the time.
The European Commission insists that the merger will not have an effect on local market competition, stating that "the transaction would not lead to any horizontal overlaps in the music recording markets, examined at the creation of Sony BMG, as Sony has no other music recording activities in the EEA [European Economic Area]." That's kind of like saying "Yeah, we kind of let Bigfoot have free reign of the village, but, uh, don't worry, he won't do anything."
Impala led independent sector protests against the merger in 2004 and again in 2007, when it went up for approval a second time. Bertelsmann has declined to comment, except to say that the EC's approval is only one step of many, so, of course, we shouldn't get our panties in a bunch yet. See? Everything's going to be juuust fine.
Plop another nickel in the "Odd Couple" jar. Subterranean guitar architects and drone assault vehicle Growing just dropped a sick joint last week. To celebrate, Growing will take delight this fall in frightening indie rock nerds and people "who just gotta get their sorta dance on" for roughly 45 minutes in eight major North American markets. Through either friendship, luck, providence, elaborate schemes, or otherwise, Growing will be opening for the subdued and shapeshifting British electropop collective Hot Chip on the last leg of their tour.
Growing are known for rumbling the foundations of whatever room they
play in and ripping holes in the sky roughly ten meters above your
head that spew torrents of fluorescent-colored doom. Hot Chip is known
for being... funky. Totally fucked, right? Well, Growing has taken a
more (somewhat) melodic approach on their latest, All the Way (TMT Review), out
right now on Social Registry. So, maybe it's not as strange as it seems. I mean, Deerhunter just
finished a Nine Inch Nails tour, right? Odd couples are the new black.
In response to the violence at the Republican National Convention, Ted Leo has released a brand spankin’ new Extended Play (EP). Spurred on by the conflict he watched on TV, Leo felt compelled to act, stating:
Real people were hurt in St. Paul, and real people have bills to pay, and real people need funding to continue their good works. We (the band and I) were all feeling these events as deeply as we could from our 1200 mile remove, and so as not to feel entirely powerless, and in an attempt to contribute SOMETHING to that continuation of those good works, we wrote a song and recorded it.
Leo and the Pharmacists recorded the EP at Leo’s home studio immediately following the Convention and committed to wax two new songs: “Paranoia: Never Enough” and “Mourning In America,” as well as a couple of covers, “I Got Your Number” (by Cock Sparrer) and “Nobody's Driving” (by Amebix).
Titled Rapid Response, the EP is now available to download for an exclusive two-week period at Touch and Go Records for only 4 doll-hairs! All proceeds will eventually find themselves in the hands of a couple great charities, Food Not Bombs Minneapolis and Democracy Now!, as well as the legal funds for those arrested at the Convention. They give you plenty of other donation options for those inclined to give a little more.
Don’t forget that Ted Leo and the Pharmacists are also going on a big tour with Against Me! starting September 1, with more dates with Titus Andronicus afterward, including an election night show where they will hopefully be able to celebrate Barack Obama’s victory.
Here are the Against Me! dates:
$ Against Me!, Future of the Left
& Titus Andronicus
Wow. In the annals of most bizarre-o Christmas specials, this one's got to take the cake -- as well as possibly being a sign of the impending apocalypse. Move over Hall and Oates "Jingle Bell Rock" video, where the guys bop around full of Christmas cheer and camp, exchanging gifts, and excluding undesirable carollers from their winter hideaway. Forget you, Family Matters episode where Urkel learns the true meaning of giving. There's a new offering on the spoof table, and that's Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert's A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All. Debuting November 23, the hour-long show will feature Feist, Elvis Costello, John Legend, Willie Nelson, and -- OMG -- Toby Keith.
Of course, the question on all your minds is probably "Will Colbert be singing?" The answer: a resounding yes. Expect compositions from the duo of David Javerbaum, executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and Adam Schlesinger of Ivy and Fountains of Wayne. These future hits will include numbers like:
- "Please Be Patient" by Feist
- "Little Dealer Boy" by Colbert/Willie Nelson
- "There Are Much Worse Things To Believe In" by Colbert/Elvis Costello
- "Hanukkah" by Colbert and the man who doesn't know he's my boyfriend yet, Jon Stewart
- "Nutmeg" by Colbert/John Legend
- "(What's So Funny 'bout) Peace, Love And Understanding" by everybody
- "Have I Got a Present for You" by Toby Keith, which presumably is not a country music answer song to Justin Timberlake's Christmas smash of last year, "D*@# in a Box."
The premise of the show involves Stephen Colbert getting snowed in at his upstate New York cabin with a motley crew of vocally-talented guests, America's conscience, and a heroic young horse who teaches everyone how to believe in their dreams*. No word yet as to whether Hall and Oates are sharing the cabin next door.
Only two short days after the Colbert Christmas lights up screens across America, it will be released November 25, with a percentage of the purchase price going to charity Feeding America. The lucky owners of this DVD will benefit from extras, like an advent calendar, alternate endings, and what is described simply as a "book burning Yule log."
*Not actually true, to the best of my knowledge.
Universal Cancels Metallica Interview After Pirate Bay Download Admission, Dubs Perpetrators “Unforgiven”
According to a report published earlier this week, Metallica's label, Universal Music, canceled an interview the band had planned with the Swedish newspaper Sydsvenskan, after a writer there, Jonn Jeppsson, admitted to reviewing an unofficial copy of the metal militia’s newest flop, Death Magnetic, that he obtained via popular torrent site The Pirate Bay.
But wait, it gets funnier: As if the boys in Metallica don't have a sordid enough relationship with The Download already, it was also revealed that, instead of reviewing the official version of the album-proper, Jeppsson reviewed an unauthorized cut called Death Magnetic: Better, Shorter, Cut, which contains mercifully shorted versions of the original album songs.
Umm, needless to say, Universal Music was not pleased. According to Universal Sweden (yeah, who knew that existed?) spokesman Per Sundin, "the reviewer is referring to a torrent where someone has altered the original songs. The reviewer explains exactly where one should go in order to download the file that is totally infringing copyright. It's not only an illegal file, but an altered file. The reviewer also writes that this is how the album should have sounded." Ziiiiing! Boy, you knew that was coming, right?
"File-sharing of music is illegal. Period. There's nothing to discuss. That fact that Sydsvenskan has a writer that has downloaded this music illegally and then makes mention of an illegal site in his review is totally unacceptable to us," the frantic-tic-tic-tock Sundin continued in an attempt to sound even more out of touch and record label-ish. Hinting that Universal may stop sending promo material for Sydsvenskan to review, he ends: "We live in symbiosis with each other, and we send them our artists' record for free for review. But if they download the albums illegally instead, then there's no point in doing that." Bangarang?
Meanwhile, Death Magnetic entered the UK chart at #1 this week. But hey, you never know! If not for all the illegal downloads and such, it could have debuted at number 0 or something, right?
From the Detroit Free Press:
Norman Whitfield, a producer and songwriter whose work propelled Motown Records into more ambitious musical territory, died Tuesday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. He was 67.
Whitfield had struggled for months with complications from diabetes, and his prognosis had been day-to-day for several weeks. He had recently emerged from a coma.
“It’s a very sad day,” said Janie Bradford, who with Whitfield cowrote the Temptations hit “Too Busy Thinking About My Baby.”
- Norman Whitfield Wikipedia entry
- YouTube video: Marvin Gaye I Heard It Through The Grapevine (1968)
- YouTube video: The Temptations - Papa Was A Rolling Stone (1972)
- YouTube video: The Undisputed Truth - Boogie Bump Boogie (1976)
According to Buddhists, Nirvana is attained through the Noble Eightfold Path. Consisting of the right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration, it is a strict disciplinary approach and end-goal to living that most of us eff-ups may consider initiating at some point during a happy blender-drinks party but wouldn't get three seconds into practicing the next hungover afternoon. Given the dedication required to lead a life contingent on strict philosophical beliefs and practices, it is not all that astonishing that some choose a different road.
Fortunately, some are able to invoke levels of transcendence few can appreciate or explain by playing music. Talibam!, for example, project blissful states simply by attacking and embracing the ridiculous that surrounds them and then running with it. For that, they are our enlightened artists of the day!
Matt Mottel and Kevin Shea have been harmoniacal busybodies since coming together in 2003, so to appease and infuriate religious completists, 2008 has already seen or will see releases on Holidays Records (split 7-inch with But God Created Women), stop scratching (cassette), No=Fi Recordings (live cassette), Thor’s Rubber Hammer (Ecstatic Jazz Duos series, split 12-inch with Wasteland Jazz Unit), Wallace Records (PhonoMetak series, split 10-inch with Jealousy Party), and Roaratorio (12-inch collaboration with Daniel Carter).
Phew... devoting yourself wholly to anything, be it a guiding philosophy or music collecting, is a religion unto itself.
Talibam! starts its six-week, twelve-country tour in grand style tonight in Paris with a special performance alongside Rhys Chatham -- who will join our heroes Mottel and Shea on fuzz trumpet and guitars -- and which features opening slots by Peeesseye, Religious Knives, Gala Drop, and Corridors.
09.17.08 - Paris, France - La Maroquinerie #
09.20.08 - Tilburg, Netherlands - ZXZW Fest!
09.21.08 - Tilburg, Netherlands - ZXZW Fest!
09.22.08 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - DNK %
09.23.08 - Utrecht, Netherlands - DBS Studio $
09.25.08 - Oslo, Norway - Café Monno
09.26.08 - Frederikstad, Norway - Blaagrotte
09.30.08 - Helsinki, Finland - Black Box
10.01.08 - Tampere, Finland - Vastavirta
10.02.08 - Saarbrucken, Germany - Saarländisches Staatstheater
10.03.08 - Augsburg, Germany - Junges Theater
10.04.08 - Munich, Germany - Laab
10.05.08 - Stuttgart, Germany - Interventionsraum
10.06.08 - Zagreb, Croatia - TBD
10.07.08 - Belgrade, Serbia - Rex Center
10.08.08 - Sofia, Bulgaria - TBD
10.09.08 - Skopje, Macedonia - TBD
10.12.08 - Athens, Greece - Kinky Kong
10.16.08 - Caserta, Italy - Jarmusch Club
10.17.08 - Rome, Italy - Sinister Noise
10.18.08 - Bari, Italy - Taverna Vecchia del Maltese
10.22.08 - Cesena, Italy - Officina 49
10.23.08 - Bologna, Italy - Lazaretto
10.24.08 - Milan, Italy - Dauntown
10.25.08 - Verbania, Italy - Perchè No?
10.26.08 - Bristol, England - The Croft
10.27.08 - London, England - The Sazerac
10.31.08 - Brooklyn, NY - New Sonic HQ
11.15.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Dead Herring
# featuring Rhys Chatham, with Peeesseye, Religious Knives, Gala Drop & Corridors
Top 5 Reasons Why Kemialliset Ystävät Should be More Popular Than The Hold Steady:
5. Kemialliset Ystävät (Jan Anderzén) released an untitled album last year, and to quote reviewer Keith Kawaii: "As future generations grow even more accustomed to completely ‘songless’ records, Kemialliset Ystävät will feel more like the rule instead of the exception." (TMT Review) The Hold Steady albums are full of song songs.
4. "Kemialliset Ystävät" is Finnish for "Chemical Friends," and since you don't have any friends, chemical or otherwise, you might as well have a Finnish one. Besides, The Hold Steady have so many friends already they wouldn't be able to fit you into their bar-hopping, I-don't-like-their-music-very-much schedule.
3. Kemialliset Ystävät RULES!
2. Kemialliset Ystävät has sampled Sun Ra, Karlheinz Stockhausen, and Vibracathedral Orchestra. The Hold Steady's guitarist said he likes Oasis (and dissed Radiohead).
1. The Hold Steady aren't very good. Really, though, why are they so either loved or hated? You think I like being negative like this about a band that gives so many people joy? You know how many angry emails from Hold Steady fans I'm going to get? Hell, I got enough for my Jack White/Coca-Cola story. GOD. Sometimes I wonder if any of this is worth it. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth it...
Confession: I don’t listen to the band Fucked Up. All I know about them is that they’re on Matador Records, they’re from Toronto, and their music is a bit too hardcore for my tastes. That said, this week I had two separate conversations with people I know in which they mentioned Fucked Up, so I felt it fitting that I contribute a news story this week about them. Here are my Fucked Up tales:
- Fucked Up Tale #1 (with my brother on Instant Messenger):
Him: the title track is one of the best songs i've ever heard, period
Him: it's about the plight of sex workers in Canada
Him: it's 18 minutes long
- Fucked Up Tale #2 (with my friend via e-mail):
Me: Did you just mention Jay Reatard and Fucked Up?Â Those are new bands; I thought you didn't listen to anything post-1995, hahah.
Him: Dude, Jay Reatard's been around since the 90s -- he started when he was 16. I met the lead singer of Fucked UpÂ when I was in Toronto a few years ago... he wanted a button I was wearing. Yeah, right! What would you do if this man approached you and said he wanted your button?
Whatever you do, don’t let Fucked Up's lead singer talk you into giving away your buttons:
% Vivian Girls