Give Me Some Truth, Yoko: Infamous Ono Denies Suing ‘Lennon’, Schedules Appearance on Montel Williams to Work it Out
In an attempt to win back some instant karma, Yoko Ono has issued a statement denying claims that she is suing a young musician, Lennon Murphy, for using the name of her late husband. Oh Yoko! Just another day in the life, I guess -- batting down claims that try to make her look like a frigid woman. According to Ono, in a statement released by her record label Parlophone, Murphy submitted a trademark application attempting to gain "exclusive right" to the name Lennon for music performance, even after representatives for the Ono camp tried to block the request. Can you imagine? You'd have to be crippled inside to think you could own the name Lennon if you didn't write "Strawberry Fields Forever." The statement concludes:
"Yoko did not sue Lennon Murphy, but sought to stop her from getting the exclusive right to the name Lennon for performance purposes. For that, Yoko's attorneys, simply notified the Trademark office that Yoko did not believe it was fair that Ms. Murphy be granted the exclusive right to the ‘Lennon’ trademark in relation to musical and entertainment services."
Further comments from Ono prove she is trying to give peace a chance: "I am really hurt if people thought that I told a young artist to not use her own name in her performances and had sought to sue her. I did no such thing. I hope this allegation will be cleared," she said. Still, in an open letter Murphy continued to paint herself as the working class hero, stating "I'm not sure what confusion I could be causing since I don't have the $50,000 to hire a lawyer and fight this. If people were confusing me with John Lennon and accidentally buying my records I should have more than enough money to live my life and hire a lawyer?"
I don't know about you, but I'm so tired of Beatles-related lawsuits. How do you sleep, world?
TMT readers, hi! Completists, hello! Porn addicts, what's shakin'? No matter who you are, no matter what kind of lifestyle you lead, boy have I got news for YOU: The oft-rumored "metal" Mount Eerie EP is finally seeing release! On May 27, P.W. Elverum & Sun will be releasing Black Wooden Ceiling Opening. Recored in late 2006 with Jason Anderson (that one dude at the K Records show) and Kjetil Jenssen (drummer of The Spectacle), the white vinyl 10-inch features six Mount Eerie songs reinterpreted in a slightly-louder-than-past-Mount Eerie/Microphones-recordings way. It's not really metal and not necessarily hardcore, but it is, has been, and always will be Phil Elverum.
The Black Wooden Ceiling Opening EP comes with a 21"x21" poster (double-sided!), printed on recycled stock. A bonus 10-track "live bootleg" CD comes included with the release.
In arguably more exciting news, Phil is set to release all those wonderful songs he wrote in Norway back in 2002/2003. Titled DAWN, the release will also include Phil's winter journal from Norway. "This will be a book of very intense journal writing from time spent in a cabin in northern Norway. It comes with a CD of all the songs written there, played once and for all on just guitar and singing. Something like 17 songs. 136 pages. Some drawings. Some pictures. This will be published later in 2008 by Buenaventura Press." Most of the songs have appeared in some form or another, but a bulk of them can be found on 11 Old Songs and Live in Copenhagen. You can find lyrics carved in my flesh.
I saw your future in my jeep:
Whiskey! Women! Tales of heartache and boozing, rollicking guitars and country twang. What could this mean? Why that The Mekons are on tour, of course! The legendary Leeds country punks are on the road again, setting hearts afire and playing damn fine rock ‘n’ roll music. And they're coming to a town near you! Well, if you live in the United Kingdom, Spain, or what many people consider to be the Barcelona of America -- the Midwest.
The band celebrated their 30th anniversary last year with the release of their 26th studio album, Natural (TMT Review) on Quarterstick Records. In addition to this exciting news, my friend tells me that original Mekon Jon Langford has a really cool scarf with skulls on it that you might enjoy seeing him wear. So get out your dancing shoes and Western shirt, because it's going to be one hell of a tour. And if I don't get this story finished soon, I am going to be late to dinner. Oops!
Okay, I'll be honest. I can't stand Art Brut and their T-Mobile music. But I know a lot of you can stand them, which deep down kinda bugs me. So, since I'm probably a peg lower than you in spirits, I thought I'd bring you down with me by putting a little venom in your afternoon. According to Art Brut's website (and Juju's reader tip -- thanks!), EMI/Mute has released "Pump Up the Volume" (from It's a Bit Complicated) as a single. Cool, right? WRONG. The single was released WITHOUT INFORMING THE FUCKING BAND!!
Attention, the Internet!! It seems Art Brut have accidentally released a single. Yes, the rumours are true. But how could this happen, you may ask? Why were we not informed? Why was it not available in my local record shack, thrust pride of place along side the latest View recording? Well, my friends, pick up any thread of incompetence and it will usually lead you to a record company. That's right, it seems EMI have decided to release Pump Up the Volume without informing either the band or myself, making any kind of wide scale promotion rather difficult. Adding to this curious new marketing stratagem of discouraging sales, EMI have chosen to make the song available via download only. So no luck in the record shacks either.
Disgusting. Read the rest of the post here.
WITHOUT INFORMING THE FUCKING BAND:
InterTube Pirates Find Hidden Treasure In RIAA Training Video, Immediately Duplicate It A Bazillion Times
Here's how I imagine it:
When the RIAA discovers the first circulated MP3s on the internet in 2002, the board room is so silent you could hear Johnny in the mail room drop his morning deuce. Thick with Cuban cigar smoke, full of old stenchy white men, one of the brass in the room shatters the silence by shouting "What in the SAM HILL is the internet?" The 43-year-old temp who broke the news slowly mumbles, "Something to do with computers -- I'm not really sure." "Why in the fuck haven't we just bought it yet?" "Well sir, it's not exactly something we can buy, but we might be able to embark on a slow and painful litigation process wherein we destroy our customer base and ensure our increasing irrelevancy with each passing second." "Sounds like a deal. We should create an under-financed training video starring a former state trooper with a bad haircut and next-to-no technical background to train investigative experts. Also, start the video by slamming a gavel down. Let the future of the world know that we mean business via clichéd imagery."
Chuckles and fake stories aside, that last bit of nonsense is actually true. The RIAA did create a training video intended for RIAA investigators wishing to become court experts. And it actually does start with a gavel slamming down and stars a former state trooper with Farva's haircut. The best part, though, is it got leaked, onto the internet, via torrents. Torrents, the scourge of the RIAA because it's a protocol, not a piece of software owned by a company, cannot be controlled. So suing the shit out of its creator, Bram Cohen, gets you nowhere. Attempting to shut down one node on a torrent network is an act of hydra beheading. Some pissed off Russian geek in his basement will think to himself "Fuck you too" and put up another 30 nodes overnight on servers across the globe. So, seeing something as ridiculous as a training video intended to teach butt bags how to catch "pirates" is absolutely hysterical.
Clips of this video will make the rounds on every imaginable YouTube-like site for years, letting everyone know exactly how to avoid whatever weak-ass methods these old stodgy bastards were attempting to use in apprehending your bootleggin' busynass. The video, made in conjunction with the National District Attorneys Association, is called In Trial and includes techniques on "how to identify illegal sound recordings and how illegal music is sold." There are surveillance videos included that show how street bootleg vendors work... which is odd, considering it's a video intended to teach people how to catch internet pirates. That's like making a video on how to catch bank robbers by showing surveillance footage of a purse snatcher.
I think a slow clap is in order here.
We've been waiting patiently for months, and now it has finally come: The official press release for Death Cab for Cutie's forthcoming album and tour! I always imagined I'd have a lot to say about the unveiling, but I think I'll just let the press release do the talking. Enjoy!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FEBRUARY 21, 2008
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE SET DATE FOR “NARROW STAIRS”;
IN STORES AND ONLINE MAY 13th;
SEATTLE BAND’S FIRST NEW MUSIC IN NEARLY THREE YEARS
TO BE HERALDED BY THE SINGLE, “I WILL POSSESS YOUR HEART”;
TOUR DATES AND FESTIVAL APPEARANCES AT COACHELLA AND BONNAROO CONFIRMED
Atlantic recording group Death Cab for Cutie has unveiled initial details of their hugely anticipated new album. “NARROW STAIRS” – which follows 2005’s Grammy Award-nominated label debut, “PLANS” – will arrive in stores and at all online retailers on May 13th. Produced by the band’s own Chris Walla, “NARROW STAIRS” will be preceded by the single, “I Will Possess Your Heart.” (See full track listing below). “I hope this album is a bit of a surprise for those out there that think they have us all figured out. We can’t wait to share these songs with the world,” states Death Cab bassist Nick Harmer.
Death Cab will herald the album’s release with their first live shows in more than eighteen months. They’ll kick things off April 18th in their home state of WA at the Admiral Theatre in Bremerton, followed by a series of festival appearances, including Coachella 2008 in Indio, California on Saturday, April 26th and the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival on June 15th in Manchester, TN. See below for full listing of tour dates.
For news, tour dates, and other exclusives, please visit http://www.deathcabforcutie.com, http://www.myspace.com/deathcabforcutie, or http://www.atlanticrecords.com/deathcabforcutie.
Death Cab for Cutie is: Ben Gibbard: guitars, keyboards, vocals * Chris Walla: guitars, keyboards * Nick Harmer: bass * Jason McGerr: drums
# # #
For more information, please contact:
Death Cab for Cutie Tour Dates
Jim Jones, Pere Ubu guitarist and Cleveland music legend, died February 18, 2008. Deteriorating health had forced Jones to leave the band in 1996, and although he had been ill for some time, the cause of death has not yet been released. Jones was an enthusiastic music fan and supporter whose influence greatly impacted the Cleveland scene and beyond.
Jones was born in Cleveland in 1950. His music career started as a member of the Mayfield High School concert and marching bands. After a brief stint at community college, Jones started working at a shop called Record Rendezvous. In 1984, he opened his own store, Platter-Puss Records, which he sold after joining Pere Ubu. Throughout his life, he played with bands like The Mirrors (later The Styrenes), Foreign Bodies, Easter Monkeys, and The Wooden Birds. Before his death he had played and recorded with KNG NXN, Noble Rot, and SpeakerCranker. He also worked as a studio producer for many local bands and composed electronic pieces for area dance and theater troupes.
Announcer: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Spoon’s spring victory lap U.S. tour announcement, in what promises to be another big success for the popular Austin, TX indie rock quartet. Bob, if you pan the camera over to the track, you’ll see the members of Spoon lining up for the race. Now, the question remains, which one of them is going to get to the finish line to announce the tour first?
[A gunshot sounds.]
Announcer: And they’re off! Rounding the corner, we see Spoon drummer Jim Eno, followed by singer/guitarist Britt Daniel, keyboardist/guitarist Eric Harvey, and bassist Rob Pope taking up the rear. Eno jumps his first hurdle, now his second. Daniel sprints to catch up to him as Harvey falls in stride with Pope. But wait — now it looks like Daniel and Eno are neck and neck as they approach the finish line. Daniel’s cheeks are red and he’s breathing heavy as he tries to pass Eno, but it looks like — wait... wait... and Eno’s got this one in the bag, folks!
[Jim Eno, exhausted and breathless, pumps his fists triumphantly and steps up the podium.]
Eno: Since I won the victory lap U.S. tour race, I suppose it’s only fair that I get to announce our upcoming April tourdates. So here they are:
Oh, and Eno should've mentioned these dates, too:
02.23.08 - Lisbon, Portugal - Aula Magna
02.25.08 - London, England - Scala
Eno: But, Britt, that’s not fair...
Daniel: Oh come on, Jim. When people think Spoon, we all know a picture of my beautiful mug pops into their heads anyway. I may not have won this race fair and square, but you know I’m going to come out on top regardless.
Announcer: Uhh, well that’s all the time we have today! Join us next week for our steel cage death match featuring the editors of Tiny Mix Tapes versus all the bands they’ve snubbed. Word has it that The Rapture are bringing brass knuckles.
Artist Gets Fans to Front New Album Costs Instead of Accepting Lucrative Payout From Corporate Ass Hats. In Other News, Ass Hats Form Corporation In An Attempt To Lucratively Fund Artist’s New Album Costs.
Radiohead wasn't the first band to try something different with the distribution of their latest album (Chuck D's been at it for quite awhile), but they certainly brought it to the attention of the masses. The sheer audacity of releasing a new album by a multi-platinum selling artist free of charge is more than enough to garner a few headlines in some important newspapers. So now that the flood gates are open, there's a slew of artists trying new angles to get music to their fans. Regardless of how free Radiohead's new album was to us, it definitely cost money to produce it and host it on a server somewhere for schmoes to get at it. That's all well and good for a band that periodically finds fistfuls of cash in their couch cushions, but it unfortunately presents a logistical problem for everyone else.
Jill Sobule, an artist that plucks at an acoustic guitar, doesn't fly on a private jet filled with top-notch hookers and blow. She doesn't have the startup capital to personally fund her new album and release it to her fans on an awful website designed by a first-year art student in a small town community college (pay attention Radiohead). So, she's taken a grass-roots approach to her new album, asking fans to shell out the dough for the recording process. There are varying levels of money to donate, which grant fans different levels of prizes. For a mere $25, you'll get an advance copy of the disc before the rest of us get a crack at it, and for the upper echelon of fandom, you can shell out $25,000 and sing on the record. If you sound like a dying marmoset, she'll let you play cowbell or something.
Here at Tiny Mix Tapes, we're thinking about going the same route to help pay our hosting fees, so we can actually afford such frivolous purchases like soap, or maybe some deodorant. Here's an outline of the different levels of support you can provide Tiny Mix Tapes and the prizes you'll receive:
- $25 - Get your face included in our next boner comic. We'll probably just get somebody to doodle hot splooge on it.
- $50 - Get a promo disc that none of our music reviewers wanted. Probably the new Staind album.
- $100 - Get the promo material that accompanies that Staind album. It's just used toilet paper with "Staind Ruelz" scrawled on it.
- $250 - Get your name included in a news article, with a non-flattering picture of yourself posted above it. Keep in mind I will be writing the article, and I don't like you.
- $500 - Write part of a review. We'll probably just get a quote about how much you hated that new Staind album.
- $1000 - Write a review yourself. Minimum word count will be 3200, and there will be no introductory fluff paragraphs allowed. Also, no track-by-track breakdown. Amateur.
- $2500 - Become editor for the day. All reviews/news/articles/interviews will be e-mailed at 2 AM, with all corrections required by 5 AM. David Nadelle usually doesn't submit his until 4:30 AM.
- $5000 - Hang out with the TMT crew for a day! Hang-out will commence at Mr P's house right after he's done work for the day. He will be unaware of the date, and you are required to bring all the food, booze, drugs, and prostitutes. Mr P likes prostitutes. Especially ones with both parts.
- $10000 - Prevent your face from appearing in our next boner comic. Also, receive an autographed picture of Keith Kawaii's part.
U.S. Department of Justice Approves Sale of Clear Channel to Two Private Equity Firms; Westward the Course of Empire Takes Its Way
On Valentine’s Day, representatives of Clear Channel, Bain Capital, and Thomas H. Lee Partners weren’t having their music websites featured on NPR. Instead, they were (presumably) hanging out around the United States Department of Justice, perhaps the least romantic place in the entire country.
The two private equity firms had their share of amorousness, however, assuming they find purchasing maybe the largest media conglomerate ever sexy (and I’m assuming a private equity firm would find that ridiculously sexy). The Department of Justice gave Bain and Lee the green light to buy out Clear Channel. The firms (the former of which was started by Mitt Romney) already “have substantial ownership interests” in Cincinnati, Houston, Las Vegas, and San Francisco, so Clear Channel will be forced to sell its stations in those markets. Says the DOJ: "The divestitures will ensure that advertisers will continue to receive the benefits of competition." (In response to which I offer: “K.”)
In other news, Clear Channel is strong-arming a separate equity firm to complete a $1.2 billion purchase of 56 TV stations from itself. There’s a $45 million contract termination fee built into the deal, apparently, but I guess Clear Channel -- who has effectively waived the termination fee by starting a lawsuit -- has had a good week and might as well let it ride.
Private equity firms! Departments of Justice! Buyouts! Join me next week where I’ll just start covering finance and see how long it takes P to notice.