Yes, just ladies. No one else. Sorry to everyone else along the spectrum of gender.
Being that it's touring season for Jagjaguwar, there are probably many other bands you could go see that would fall into the category of "awesome," not unlike Ladyhawk. No? You're dead set on this? And you re-heally want a t-shirt, despite your beard? Fine. Here's the deal: Ladyhawk's lust for the road stays dirty and deep as they push on into Europe, starting off with the ZXZW Festival in the Netherlands. (Those are my people and all, but ZXZW is either an awwwfully familiar festival name or those stoners fell asleep on the keyboard again.) Hey, Ladyhawk, nice job of starting the tour on my birthday, two weeks AFTER I come back to the states from, ironically enough, the Netherlands! Oh well, I'm starting to get the idea that bands don't make tour schedules based on my personal life.
Enough about me. If you trust Carrie Brownstein's taste, there's a good chance you won't be disappointed with a setlist relying on the new album, Shots (TMT Review), which she spins daily. Here, try it.... give "S.T.H.D." a spin. Then I suggest a quick trip to the drugstore for some Passion Red lipstick. The $1 brand, of course. You can wash it off as soon as you've got a t-shirt.
Speaking Dutch would help, too:
As the days get shorter, nights get cooler, and leaves get browner and crispier, it seems only natural that we as humans begin searching for less bangin' and more weird, occasionally creepy new releases to listen to when we are sitting around trying to think of ways to freak out our roommates. Thankfully, just in time for this seasonal change, The Residents are releasing an album entitled The Bunny Boy! Wow! Even the title makes me feel slightly unnerved! (Suggestion: do not Google Image Search the phrase "bunny boy" at work. It's nothing horrible -- just kinda weird.)
Available September 2 from Santa Dog Records, The Bunny Boy promises to deliver 19 tracks based around themes of "obsession, insanity, and the coming Apocalypse" -- just in time for election season! But that's not all -- there's also talk of an impending world tour and something described as a "narrative internet series," which hopefully will have less of a "furry" angle than a quick Google Image Search would suggest.
The Bunny Boy tourdates:
Nothing says “I love you” like a diamond, just as nothing says “independent music” like NIKE Sportswear.
Seems that this September the bearers of the Swoosh will sponsor a part of Willamette Week’s Musicfest NW, a four-day festival that’ll be spread throughout various clubs in Portland, OR (TMT News). The lineup’s both overwhelming and impressive; highlights include Grammy Award-winner Sir Mix-A-Lot, TV On The Radio, and local trio Menomena (plus Menomena’s Danny Seim performing solo as Lackthereof).
NIKE brings a pretty good plate to the potluck, too; No Age, Battles, Britt Daniel, Ratatat, and Les Savy Fav will all play at The Wonder Ballroom, NIKE’s official venue during Musicfest NW. And as a special treat, Built to Spill will play the entirety of Perfect From Now On, a little warm-up for their other high-profile fall festival performances.
Though I’d hardly consider NIKE the patron sneaker of rock ‘n’ roll, the best part of this corporate sponsorship is the price: all of Nike’s shows at Musicfest NW will be free. Six big name shows without dropping a dollar? Long live sweatshop labor!
When I Say “Malkmus,” You say “Is Touring for a Few Scattered Dates Throughout Western Canada and the American Midwest in October and Early November!”
While sitting around watching The Superstation the other day (you know, TBS -- duh), I fell asleep during King of Queens and woke up with the best idea for a spec script episode I’m going to write.
So, check it -- Carrie and some friends from work get into a weekly quizzo night at this bar, so she starts coming home really late every Wednesday. Doug starts getting lonely those nights, but he won’t admit it, so he starts being passive-aggressive toward her, making snide comments and shit. They eventually get in a big fight -- Carrie calls him selfish, and Doug brings up something bad she did before, but THIS TIME it gets out of control and she kicks him out.
So, Doug goes out drinking after the fight, and who does he run into but Stephen Malkmus. He and his Jicks are playing a show in Queens the next day, trying to take in some local flavor. Doug of course is starstruck, being a huge Pavement fan, and he can’t even form words at first. Anyway, long story short -- Steve takes a liking to Doug after he starts calling him “Milkmoose” because he’s too drunk to pronounce Malkmus and invites him to be a roadie on the following tourdates:
Blitzen Trapper will be along for the ride, too.
Howard Stern To Remake Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, Still No Word As To Whether The Ramones Will Be Played By A Cast of Swollen-Lipped “Adult” Entertainment Stars
Anti-censorship dude and Sirius god Howard Stern is set to produce a remake of Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, a musical comedy most famously known for starring The Ramones.
Stern is producing the flick with Larry Levinson. It will be scripted by Alex Winter, who you probably half-remember alongside Keanu Reeves amidst the smoky haze of your viewing Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
XXXXX XXXXX RUMORED SPICY SEXY Ramones Re-Casting XXXXX XXXXX
Colin Greenwood and CYHSY Members Contribute to Indie-Doc Soundtrack; Underrated Brothers from Overrated 5-Pieces Make Music Like Big Boys
The other day at the video store where I work, someone put on Failure to Launch. This 26%-rotten flick features Matthew McConaughey as an x-TrEmE sports-loving bachelor who takes up permanent residence in his parents’ attic. When the ‘rents decide they want Junior out of the house, they turn to Sarah Jessica Parker, a woman (prostitute?) who makes a living dating young men who have “failed to launch” and convincing them to move out for good.
This is the perfect kind of movie to watch in a video store because its message is so blunt and obvious that it doesn’t matter if you’re taking care of late fees for the stoned guy who returned Super High Me a month late. The message is this: Horace Greeley was on to something. Leaving the nest can be difficult, but at some point, everyone must go west, young man.
And now, bassist Colin Greenwood is taking a cue from manifest destiny and taking off in a new direction. He’s just completed his first musical project outside of Radiohead, which is a big deal, considering band mates Johnny Greenwood, Phil Selway, Thom Yorke, and Ed O’Brien have all played outside of the Oxfordshire five-piece.
Greenwood’s new gig is the soundtrack for a film called Woodpecker, a bird-watching documentary that I will probably rent as soon as our video store gets it. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah members and twin brothers Lee and Tyler Sargent also contribute to the soundtrack.
The collab-tastic release is now available for online purchase, so quit gobbling down Mom’s lasagna and get on that before I call SJP on your ass.
Relationships are hard. They result in a lot of good times, bad times, and more clichéd musings than you can shake a barrel of bullet-riddled fish at. Joyce & Terry, Paul & Molly, Liz & Brian, Joy & David, Kim & Maggie, June & Daffy, Jean & Jim, and Jim & Christine all broke up long ago. Now word has come down from Nashville, TN's Be Your Own Pet that they too have called it quits. From their website:
To all of our fans, We are sad to bring you the news that our upcoming shows in the UK (dates below) are going to be our last as a band. We thank you for all your love and support these past few years - its [sic] been a blast but the time has come for the 4 of us to go our separate ways.
As stated above, the band, who released their second LP, Get Awkward (TMT Review) this year on Ecstatic Peace!, has a small run of UK dates left, before moving on to the inevitable next step: playing in their respective new bands while people tell them how great BYOP was. After about 15 years of that, they will probably reunite and play a series of shows with bands featuring the children of Thurston and Kim, Jeff Tweedy and ODB, causing people to reminisce nostalgically about BYOP on I Love the 00s. Which will be bearable, as long as jet packs/teleportation/time travel has been invented by then.
Need More Videos of German Dudes Playing with Speak & Spells? Kraftwerk Have Got You Covered with Their New Documentary DVD
Having already released a live DVD Minimum-Maximum back in 2005, Kraftwerk will release a documentary DVD titled Kraftwerk and the Electronic Revolution September 2. Hey, that’s my dad’s birthday! I wonder if 63 is that special age when baby boomers all of a sudden crave synthesizer-saturated music about robots, trains, and computers, kind of like an electric menopause. Whoa, looks like I just named Kraftwerk’s next album! Florian and Ralf, call me!
The DVD will focus on the prime of Kraftwerk’s kareer, from their start in the ’60s as Organization (good Lord that name couldn’t be more German if they called their band Efficient) to the ’70s glory days of Autobahn and Trans-Europe Express, concluding with their early ’80s resurgence as the fathers of synth-pop and electronica. Along with Kraftwerk’s basic history, the documentary will study the cybernetic foursome’s role in the legendary ’70s Krautrock scene, including short profiles on a few of the other awesome electronic groups around at the time, culminating with an overall study of German contemporary music through the lens of Kraftwerk.
The documentary also features rarely seen live performances and photographs, as well as interviews with prominent German scholars, journalists, musicians, and members of Kraftwerk past and present. Special features include extended interviews and a featurette titled “The Dusseldorf Scene Vs. The Hamburg Scene.” Like that’s even a contest. D-Dorf all the way, baby! Reppin’ the West Side!
Yeah yeah, Europe. I know you think you know how to drink. Yep, I see your pubs, Britain. Uh-huh, nice vineyards, Paris. Oktoberfest? That’s cute, Munich. With all your hoity toity drinking traditions, I bet you think us Americans are just a bunch of Miller-swilling, Hee-Haw-watching amateurs. You don’t think we’re ready for the big leagues, do ya?
Well, let me introduce you to a band of our’s. They’re called The Hold Steady, and they grew up in cold-ass Minnesota drinking pints of whiskey and listening to Thin Lizzy. The Hold Steady look at a bar the same way a Viking looks at a monastery. But luckily for you, The Hold Steady wish you no harm. The Hold Steady want to be your friend. They want to party with you on their European tour, where they’ll be supporting their new album Stay Positive (TMT Review).
Their pond-jumping jaunt starts August 16 after a series of dates in the American South, so just remember this: When you keel over shortly after ordering your eighth lager, look over at your new buddy Craig Finn (he’ll be the one finishing his second handle of Old Crow) and just accept that you have been bested.
Two young boys, Nigh and his older brother Will, were spending the night at their grandparents' house a week before Christmas. Grandma cooked a big hearty meal, and Grandpa helped them make Christmas cards for relatives. Fun was had by all. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers.
In a soft whisper, Will closed his eyes and began praying for some Christmas presents. "I'd love a new bike, Santa. And maybe a guitar, too... I've tried ever so hard to be a good boy this year."
Nigh, on the other hand, began praying at the top of his lungs: "SANTA, I PRAY FOR JULIAN KOSTER'S FORTHCOMING CHRISTMAS ALBUM, THE SINGING SAW AT CHRISTMASTIME!! MERGE RECORDS IS RELEASING IT OCTOBER 7, AND IT WILL FEATURE CHRISTMAS SONGS PERFORMED ON -- YEP, YOU GUESSED IT FAT BOY -- SINGING SAWS!! OH, AND JULIAN KOSTER USED TO BE IN NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL, JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW!! HIS SOLO PROJECT THE MUSIC TAPES IS FINALLY RELEASING A NEW ALBUM AUGUST 19, AND IT'S AMAZING!! (TMT News)"
Will, confused and agitated, leaned over and nudged Nigh. "Why are you shouting your prayers?? God isn't deaf." To which his little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
Funny enough, Nigh's shouting was useless. Grandma died later that night.
The Singing Saw At Christmastime tracklist: