Jaguar Love (Featuring Ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves/Blood Brothers Members) to Release Debut Album, Tour This Crazy World

Last week, Jaguar Love -- consisting of Johnny Witney (ex-Blood Brothers), Cody Votolato (ex-Blood Brothers), and J Clark (ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves) -- released a self-titled EP on Matador. And in a couple months -- August 19, to be exact -- the band will release its debut full-length, Take Me To The Sea. So what will they do in the meantime? I mean, if they're not going to get regular jobs like the rest of us (assuming they don't have regular jobs like the rest of us), they better start contributing to society in some meaningful way.

Maybe they can tour? Maybe have them tour Europe in order to expand the Matador presence over there? Then maybe we can have them come back late July to play a couple U.S. festivals? And then have them startup a brand new North American tour this fall with The Faint? Ha, maybe! Anything's possible in this crazy world.

If Dirty Deeds Were Done Cheap, There Would Be a New AC/DC Album Exclusively Sold at Wal-Mart. Oh, There Is?

Apparently, AC/DC's newest, yet-to-be-titled album will be sold exclusively this fall through Wal-Mart stores, according to the Wall Street Journal. AC/DC will be following in the footsteps of past Wal-Mart buddies, like Garth Brooks, The Eagles, Journey, and Gerry, the old "Welcome to Wal-Mart" door-greeter.

And just what does this mean for AC/DC fans?

1. The album won't be slapped with a Parental Advisory sticker, since Wal-Mart doesn't sell music promoting violence or sex (or unions). To cure the "No-Big Balls" blues, buy a shotgun and take out your anger by shooting pretty things in nature.
2. Yes, AC/DC has "sold out," so to speak. But rumor has it that the album will be groundbreaking and complimentary to the forthcoming tour. And by "rumor," I mean Rumor Willis. What does she know?
3. Make a day out of it. Take the whole family with you to buy the AC/DC album. Stop at McDonald's or Subway, get a manicure, get your oil changed for cheap (tip: some workers forget to put the oil cap back on), and finally get your eyes checked, teeth done, credit evaluated, and hair cut.

To support the demand of AC/DC fans, several Wal-Marts will be built near swampy areas.

Icy Demons to Excorcise Themselves On U.S. Summer Tour, Regan MacNeil, Emily Rose Relieved

It's time to excorciiiiiise the demons, America! This summer, Chicago-via-Philadelphia supergroup Icy Demons will be awaking from their centuries-old slumber, spreading their ghoulish wings, and projecting their polyrhythmic, asymmetrical pop-jazz all over the U.S. like so much green pea soup.

But what exactly is the otherworldly cause of the United States' sweeping summertime demonic possession (and subsequent lazy punnery on my part)? Why, a new record, of course! Miami Ice -- the band's third unholy long-player of satanic freakouts, under-handed knee-jerks, ill begotten squiggly-lines, and... oh yeah, catchy pop tunes -- was officially unleashed on the U.S. this past week via the band's own insidious label, Obey Your Brain. Featuring co-founders and presumed devil-worshipers Chris Powell (a.k.a. "Pow Pow" from Man Man and Need New Body) on drums, Griffin Rodriguez (a.k.a. Blue Hawaii from Need New Body and Bablicon) on bass and vocals, as well as guest musicians Jeff Parker (Tortoise) on guitar, Josh Abrams (Prefuse 73, Sam Prekop) on upright bass, highly-esteemed Chicago improviser Tomeka Reid on cello, and Russell Higbee (Man Man) on guitar, Miami Ice promises to offer more trouble to staunch, conservative-minded, glory and praise-singing Catholics hoping to keep their kids off demons.

However, even this all-star lineup isn't demonic enough for this utterly satanic tour, as the touring lineup will also include members of Chicago electronic funk group The Chandeliers and Dylan Ryan (Michael Columbia, Bronze). So run for the hills, America. Or... alternately, head over to one of these venues-turned-hell churches this summer. The demons are coming. And they're rolling deep.

Icy Tourdates:

* !!!

$ Extra Golden

[Thanks Dave Broonum!]

MTV Fined $484,500 for Showing Aphex Twin Video and “Racist and Homophobic Text Messages”

Ohhhh maaaan -- it seems like the most basic human response is to make cheap jokes when you read about MTV Networks Europe being fined £255,000 ($484,500) for what British media regulator Ofcom calls "widespread and persistent" breaches of broadcasting code stuff. So I am going to make those cheap jokes. Was it "widespread and persistent" airing of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila? Annoying television hosts in their early thirties wearing teenybopper clothing and screaming "What's up y'allllll?" Perhaps one too many live broadcasts from Spring Break in Cancun?

Well, actually it's for airing Aphex Twin's "Windowlicker," among other things. It all happened so quickly, before 9 PM, when small children were still awake and experiencing a rare showing of music videos. Apparently multiple instances of The F Word in "Windowlicker" didn't sit well with audiences. And neither did what are described as "racist and homophobic text messages" aired on MTV France's Belge Chat program. Naturally many viewers find Jodie Marsh offensive, but especially so when trailers for her ostensible reality show contain the line "I just don't want you settling down with some fucking wanker from a modeling agency." So that's another fine for MTV Networks Europe, currently tallying up to a cool $152,000 owed by MF, $66,500 by MTV France, $152,000 by MTV UK, and $114,000 by MTV Hits.

It’s hard being one of the lesser known bands on a huge indie label, but the fellows in Son Ambulance -- who recently dropped the comma from their band name -- have been dealing with this injustice for quite some time now. After all, it’s not their fault that Saddle Creek is most often associated with more popular acts like Bright Eyes, Cursive, and The Faint. And now, with the signing of buzz bands like Tokyo Police Club and Georgie James, it appears that most people have forgotten about those old reliable Saddle Creek mainstays, like Now It’s Overhead, Mayday, and, of course, Son Ambulance.

Unlike those bands though, at least Son Ambulance are doing something to combat their no-name status by touring in support of a forthcoming album, titled Someone Else’s Déjà Vu, their first full-length in three years. The album is due July 8 on Saddle Creek (who else?) and features guest appearances from Tilly and the Wall and The Faint.

Also, because you will most likely forget about this news story and Son Ambulance in less than five minutes, here’s a handy mnemonic device to help you out:

Son Ambulance = Sun Ambulance = Sunshine Ambience = Shine Ambien = Shenanigan.

Alright, now that you’ll remember their band name forever, go check them out on tour (a second batch of dates will be announced shortly):

& Jennifer O’Connor

My Bloody Valentine Announce Warm-Up Shows For This Week, As Well As Warm-Up Act for Warm-Up Show

To those of you who have tickets and were excited to see the band's "first reunion" show June 20 at The Roundhouse, My Bloody Valentine have prepared a special announcement, just for you: "YOU'RE NUMBA THREE! YOU'RE NUMBA THREE!"

After having recently added Saturday Night Fiber and The Electric Picnic Festival to their international tour -- not to mention the Loveless and Isn't Anything remasters last month -- My Bloody Valentine have announced two warm-up rehearsal shows for this Friday and Saturday at London's Institute of Contemporary Arts, mere days before the five-day Roundhouse stint. Aww. AWWWW.

The first rehearsal show features just My Bloody Valentine (haha, "just"), while the second show will receive support from Le Volume Courbe, a project of Charlotte Marionneau with whom Kevin Shields has previously collaborated. See, My Bloody Valentine are so damn cool that even their rehearsals have opening acts. (Fun fact: Le Volume Courbe will also be at the June 20 Roundhouse show, Bestival, and ATP NY.)

Tickets are NOT available at WeGotTickets.com, because TheyAin'tGotTickets. This shit's long sold out already. Maybe you should scalp your Roundhouse ticket and try your luck here. Hey, £199.99 ($391.50) is the price you pay for some cultural currency!

$ warm-up rehearsal

How to Make Extra Golden’s Upcoming Tour That Much More Delicious

Ingredients :

- 4 firm Extra Golden members
- 2 copies of Extra Golden's newest album, Hera Ma Nono, chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tbsp. chopped parsley
- 6 tomatoes, chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325°F. Prepare a baking dish. Set aside.
2. With a butcher's knife, halve the Extra Golden members and remove heads, feet, and any remaining instruments that may or may not be strapped to their bodies. Scoop out their centers (insides) and sprinkle with salt. Drain blood into bowls and set aside for later.
3. Let their insides stand for a few minutes. Wash with cold water and wipe dry.
4. Sauté the Extra Golden insides in a frying pan until red, fleshy color disappears and everything starts turning brown. Remove from pan and set aside. Keep warm.
5. In the same pan, sauté the chopped copies of Hera Ma Nono until soft and translucent. Add the garlic, parsley, and chopped tomatoes. Cook, stirring constantly for 5 minutes.
6. Remove from heat and cool the mixture.
7. Fill the Extra Golden insides with the mixture and place in a baking dish.
8. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, and drizzle a portion of the drained blood over the insides to taste.
9. Bake for an hour until insides are Extra Golden. Allow to cool and serve inside their skulls. Add vodka to the remaining blood and serve as a side drink.

Ray LaMontagne to Release New Album in September, Which Means He’ll Be Touring Soon, Which Means More Wasted Women Will Flirt With Him At Shows

Two years ago I saw Ray LaMontagne live and was stoked. But two years ago I was not as cool as I am now, as I wouldn't be caught dead at a Ray LaMontagne show ever again. Now, don't get me wrong, I do occasionally enjoy his music, and I'm not bashing on him simply because he's handsome, but, from my experience, some of the women he attracted to that show were focused more on shouting sexual innuendos than actually listening to his performance.

Featuring his live band as his studio band, LaMontagne's new album, Gossip in the Grain promises to be more "open-sounding," but it unfortunately doesn't promise not to attract flirtatious women under the influence.

Gossip in the Grain will be released September 9 on RCA Records.

Details of Thurston Moore and Byron Coley’s No Wave Book Revealed

Believe it or not, there are already several books about No Wave, the avant-garde movement that originated in New York City in the late-1970s. Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore and writer/editor Byron Coley are just the latest authors to take on No Wave in their new book, No Wave: Post-Punk. Underground. New York 1976-1980, due out this month.

The book will consist of 150 poignant images, selected by Moore and Coley, most of which have never been published before. It will also include an oral history delving into the exploration and celebration of No Wave, as well as a comprehensive index of the people, bands, and places that played key roles in the scene.

If you’re thinking a party is in order, Moore and Coley are one step ahead of you. Come join the duo June 13 at the KS Art gallery in NY (73 Leonard Street) for a book signing and the opening of an exhibition of photographs and other items from the book, the latter of which will run until July 2. And as we reported earlier (TMT News), NYC's Knitting Factory will play host to one-off reunion performances by Teenage Jesus and the Jerks (featuring Lydia Lunch, Jim Sclavunos, and a surprise bassist rumored to be Thurston Moore) and The Information.

What’s that? You already had plans for June 13? No worries; Moore and Coley have some additional book signings and Q&As scheduled: