So how many endorsement deals must a man sign-on for, before you can call him a shill?
Better not ask Bob Dylan, who, in an uncharacteristic eschewing of his longstanding Freewheelin’ Policy, decided to settle down with a nice, church-going instrument manufacturer named Hohner USA to create his own line of harmonicas (at least, that’s the way she tells it!).
“Hohner is extremely proud to celebrate the artistry of Bob Dylan, one of America’s musical treasures,” says Hohner president Clayman Edwards. “This is truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Bob Dylan fans, and we hope that those who are able to own these items will treasure them as a reflection of his musical genius.” Edwards also hopes that Hohnor is able to make some money, probably, but... you know, he didn’t print that part.
Anyway, this limited “Bob Dylan Signature Series” of harmonicas -- available individually or in sets of seven -- will feature a machine stamp of Dylan's signature and a Dylan-designed logo, thus out-classing by far any mouth-harp you have ever locked lips with to date. But before you go throwing away all of your old Alvin and the Chipmunks harmonicas, keep in mind that Hohner will only manufacture 25 sets of seven Marine Band harmonicas (in the natural keys of C, G, D, F, A, B, and E) that Dylan himself has apparently pre-tested, plus an additional 100 individual Marine Band harmonicas (in C). Both of these limited run items will bear Dylan's actual signature and will be available exclusively via Sam Ash Music beginning October 29.
Meanwhile, bobo-master Stephen Tyler presumably remains unimpressed by this whole situation... not to mention this guy.
Bob Dylan Dates:
09.04.08 - Temecula, CA - Pechanga Resort and Casino
09.06.08 - San Diego, CA - Concerts on the Green @ Qualcomm Park
09.07.08 - Santa Barbara, CA - Santa Barbara Bowl
Comcast has announced that it will enforce a bandwidth cap on how much data customers can transfer in a month. Now, before everyone freaks out, according to this site, 250GB is about equivalent to 50,000,000 emails or 124 full-length films.
I know there are some obsessive folks out there, but really, I’d like to challenge you all to try to send 50,000,000 emails to me in one month. That means you’re gonna have to send me 1,666,666 emails a day. Which means you’re gonna have to send me 64,444 emails per hour. Which means you’re going to have to send me 1,157 emails a minute. Which means you’re going to have to send me almost 20 emails per second. So get on it! I am so going to be the most popular person ever after this.
But seriously, the thing to worry about is perhaps not the fact that Comcast is restricting the bandwidth of purportedly just 1% of their customer base; it’s more the fact that this could be the start of a slippery slope in which the major ISPs slowly roll out a new, tiered broadband service. I weep for the future.
The latest chapter in the saga of the internet's leaky faucet and Thunderdome of publicity stunts features a rather unusual, rather awesome story from Mogwai.
Our favorite stalwart purveyors of doom are not deterred by several tracks of the triumphantly-titled The Hawk is Howling racing through the blogosphere, but rather a ‘leaked,’ unfavorable Pitchfork review. The band posted on their official site: "Dear dear me, it seems that there has been a second unfortunate Mogwai related leak this week. This was forwarded to us by an anonymous source, it is the unedited Pitchfork.com review of The Hawk Is Howling."
However, akin to Mogwai's technicolor shroud of mystery, it seems entirely probable that Mogwai wrote the review themselves, insofar as most of the writing is not in the typical dissertation-esque format. For example, the supposed Pitchfork writer dives into album epilogue "The Precipice" by lamenting how "guitars curlicue around the pounding of mannish tom-toms like the garland of graying pubic hair around your uncle's boner… [they] offer you a lollipop and the promise of videogames, the ghost of Slint dulling your senses into a glassy-eyed hypnosis, until you realize that Mogwai are fucking you, fucking you, fucking you." In "Thank You Space Expert," Mogwai "absently strike their guitars, glockenspiels and who-diddly-dang-bangles."
Moreover, sarcastic jabs alluding to common criticisms of Pitchfork reviews are spread throughout ("I should note here that I will simply use the term ‘music’ in this review... no time for useless genre struggles"). The most compelling evidence, however, is that none of the credited authors in this particular review are listed on Pitchfork's staff masthead.
If it is real, Pitchfork should up their QA standards. However, since Mogwai has often demonstrated their sense of humor throughout their discography, I'll put my money on saying that this is a pretty hilarious prank from our favorite cheeky Scots. It appears as Pitchfork might be on the same shitlist as Blur, especially considering the hate brought in its review of Mr. Beast.
Look for the new "Pitchfork is Shite" shirts at the merch booth as they kick tires, light fires, et al. across North America with Fuck Buttons:
Last week, a lot of us were watching Obama’s Democratic National Convention speech. But unlike you, I was hanging out with Matt and Kim at the same time. All three of us were pretty drunk (Matt makes some mean screwdrivers), which led me to convincing both of them to dress up as Barack and Michelle Obama for the first show of their tour on Halloween. I know it sounds pretty cliché, but just imagine “Barack” and “Michelle” doing all of this. Now that’s patriotism.
Change we can believe in:
Dark Meat Set Out on North American Tour; Athens, GA Food Service Industry to Suffer Critical Understaffing
Flower children, gather ‘round — I have an announcement. The 17-piece psychedelic symphony (oh hey, cacophony is almost, like, the same word?!) known as Dark Meat (TMT Interview) will be rolling out the ol' 1972 GMC coach for a 21-date tour of the Midwest, East Coast, and Canada in support of the re-release of Universal Indians on Vice Records. Yes, it’s sad but true. For the months of September and October, stages will seem a little emptier, keyboards will have 170 less fingers tinkling on them, and bands all over Athens will limp sadly through their sets, as members fall prey to the Pied Piper’s call of the Dark Meat. But seriously, who’s going to make my latte?
For the First Time in Ten Years, James Chance and the Contortions Will Flip Faces in NYC, Also Plan New Album
Hot on the heels of Teenage Jesus and the Jerks’ June reunion concert, the hardest working man in No Wave, James Chance and his indispensable Contortions, will take the stage for the first time in a decade at New York’s City’s P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center this Saturday (August 30). Chance’s longtime collaborator Robert Aaron as well three original contortionists round out the band’s latest incarnation, but Chance has dedicated the evening’s performance to the Contortions’ original guitarist, the late Jerry Agony.
With 2008 marking the 30th anniversary of the legendary Brian Eno-curated No New York compilation, No Wave has managed to once again subvert its way back into the unpopular consciousness. Along with these two recent reunions, this year Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore and journalist Byron Coley published a memoir about the genre titled No Wave: Post-Punk. Underground. New York 1976-1980. Also in ’08, the entire recorded catalog of No New York alumnus Mars was finally released in a clean, non-water damaged format, via the 31-minute long Mars LP.
In addition to such confrontational classics as “Contort Yourself” and “I Can’t Stand Myself,” The Contortions will perform new songs from a forthcoming album. At the moment, there are no further details about the new record nor has the group announced any plans for a tour, but if this 2008 No Wave renaissance keeps cooking, in a few months James Chance and his impeccable coif might just stroll into your town! Keep your fingers crossed, America!
What do musicians like more than drugs? Sex, of course! Now, every rock ‘n’ roll bad boy’s dreams are about to come true, as TrojanÂ® Brand Condoms is asking musicians to apply for its Trojan Artists Grants program.
But what exactly do condoms have to do with grants? According to Billboard, Trojan is asking each grant recipient to write a song that encourages the public to use a condom when they have sexual intercourse. I can almost hear it now: a country-tinged ballad from Michael Gira (with backing vocals from Joanna Newsom) about putting on a glove before you make love. Or The Hold Steady's Craig Finn writing an ode to his gigantic penis and how he uses Trojan Magnum’s before drunkenly sticking it inside a groupie. Sound like hits to me!
Grants for the program range from $3,000 to $4,000, and each project that Trojan funds will be posted on a website in partnership with MTV. The deadline for applications is September 5. Think you can do better than Craig Finn? Applications can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
The ghost-sounding, cross-dressing phenomenon that is Antony and The Johnsons will release the Another World EP October 5 on Secretly Canadian (October 6 via Rough Trade Records in the UK). Let's refer to the press release for some musical descriptions: "On the environmentally conscious title track, ‘Another World,’ describes a place that is disappearing. Antony’s inimitable voice, mesmerizing piano and intimate arrangements punctuate the ideas on the EP. ‘Shake that Devil’ showcases his bluesy wail and its drone is soon replaced with a driving vintage R&B beat that illustrates the lyrics’ ferocity."
The cover of the EP features a portrait of butoh co-founder and Japanese dance legend Kazuo Ohno, taken by Pierre-Olivier Deschamps in 1984 at Paris Theatre du Chatelet. Ohno is known for using grotesque imagery and wearing white body makeup as a part of butoh. And you can bet this cover will have people saying "Ohno he didn't!"
Sorry for this interruption, but our sources at TMT have just unearthed some breaking news. Apparently, Billy Corgan has announced that his music should now and forever be labeled as "American Gothic." Yep, that's "American Gothic" music.
Once again, I apologize for this news break. We now return to less important news that does not concern Billy Corgan's ego.
Antony and The Johnsons have announced special live performances with orchestras at Los Angeles' Walt Disney Concert Hall and New York's Apollo Theatre in conjunction with the EP's release. The EP will precede the forthcoming album, The Crying Light, which is due in January 2009.
Another World tracklist:
From John Moloney of Sunburned Hand of the Man:
Adam Nodelman - member of Sunburned Hand of the Man - died suddenly on Monday August, 25, 2008
Adam Nodelman, age 43, married and father of 3 girls, died suddenly at his Woodstock, NY home on Monday, August 25th. The cause of death is yet to be determined. Adam had a huge heart and the musical energy of 10 men. This is a huge loss for his family and friends. Memorial services and events are being planned right now for New York City, the Woodstock Area, and Western Massachusetts to commemorate his life and celebrate Adam's life.
If anyone has any photos or video of Adam please contact us at email@example.com
we'll send information regarding the memorial as soon as it comes in.
Adam began playing with BORBETOMAGUS at age 18 in 1984. He appeared on LIVE IN ALLENTOWN(RECENTLY REISSUED), 7 REASONS FOR TEARS,and FISH THY SPARKLING BUBBLE He joined MISSING FOUNDATION IN 1987 appearing on various recordings, he was in MOTHERHEAD BUG with DAVID OUIMET, he joined the west coast band CRASH WORSHIP in 1996-97. Since 2005, Nodelman has been a core member of SUNBURNED HAND OF THE MAN & FRANKLIN'S MINT and appears on ton's of each band's recent recordings and live shows. Adam has been a sometimes member of Bunny Brains in the past year, and In 2008, Adam became the front man of the pioneer valley assault band - SHITSWEAT.
Check out this amazing performance of Nodelman in Shitsweat from earlier this month:
Stay tuned for updates on memorials, possible donations, and more.
Washington, DC- based duo Thievery Corporation, featuring Rob Garza and Eric Hilton, blend dub, downtempo, and trip-hop styles with various forms of so-called "world music." Having released its last proper album, The Cosmic Game in 2005, the group is now set to release a brand new album, Radio Retaliation, September 23 via ESL Music.
In the past, Garza and Hilton have called upon numerous artists to collaborate with them on their endeavors. Radio Retaliation plans to follow suit by featuring Brazilian artist Seu Jorge, Indian sitar player Anushka Shankar, and Slovakian violinist Jana Andevska on some of the tracks. Long-term Thievery Corporation contributors Sleepy Wonder, LouLou, Notch, Zee, and Verny Varela plan to make appearances on the LP as well.
The new album promises to be fairly political in nature, with Rob Garza stating, “It’s hard to close your eyes and sleep while the world is burning around you. If you are an artist, this is the most essential time to speak up.”
To promote the album, Thievery Corporation will work with networking powerhouses Facebook and iLike. And just to make sure they're all up-to-date with the digital world, a pre-release of Radio Retaliation is scheduled for September 9 via iTunes.