This Is Not a Test: The Futureheads Are Back to Save the Universe… Oh Wait

Hey there, readers. Come on in, and welcome to this rather willfully postmodern news story about the new Futureheads record. Why don't you get comfortable? There's something I want to talk to you about.

Listen, I'd love to entertain the hell out of you today (you know, like I usually do) with a goofy story about lovable Sunderland punk-poppers The Futureheads and their new, third LP, This is Not The World, which was produced by Youth (Primal Scream, the Verve) and slated to be released via the band's own Nul Records May 27 in North America, in case you were wondering.

But, the thing is, I'm a little upset.

Why? I'll tell you why: press releases. If you've ever worked for a music (or related arts) publication, then you can relate to the stacks and stacks of artist-plugging birdcage liner that show up here at our 31st floor TMT offices every day, all with the intent of convincing us, the jaded music literati, that this or that "hot" band is doing this or that "career-defining" thing and releasing this or that "industry-bucking" product. I mean, pretty much every day, the poor guys (and one weird, tattooed girl) from our mailroom bring up literal sacks of these things (along with our Starbucks orders) for us to wade through. These press releases are all packed with insane amounts of information, and each and every one of them makes you feel like you'd be a complete IDIOT not to report on every excruciating iota of these fly-by-night groups' supposedly "storied" histories.

Take this overstuffed Futureheads press release that Tattoo Girl just handed to me. Like, should I report that this next record is going to be their "finest moment"? That's kind of not in my jurisdiction. Or, is it noteworthy that those dudes "embraced the punk-rock ethic like never before" and "took control of their own destiny" by releasing the thing independently? Or maybe you readers would enjoy hearing about how this new record is "the album they've always intended to make"? I mean, come on! That's what every band says about every record, like, ever! Maybe you could trim things down a little bit here? Maybe we could save a tree or two?

The least their press agent could have done was spare me the literally track-by-track breakdown of the record that follows all of this insane hype. Oh, hey, do you want to know what the Futurehead's publicist thinks of the new Futureheads record??

DUH: He thinks it’s fucking awesome, and you should buy it!

Oh, and the band bio going all the way back to the year 2000 isn't exactly helping me contextualize this new record very much either. Remember when the band met Dennis Hopper on Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2005 everyone? Well, apparently we're all supposed to! I'm sorry, Mr. over-stuffed press release -- I'll report that right away! Whatever happened to the simple matter of the title, release date, producer/engineer, and trackli...

Oh, damn it! I almost forgot:

This Is Not The World, huh? Tell that to their press release.

Labels to Radio: (You) “Take My Breath Away.” Radio to Labels: “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.” (Labels Fighting for Royalties, Radio Charging for Airplay)

In the grand tradition of stocks vs. bonds and “Maverick” vs. “Iceman,” the sketchy, often icy relationship between radio and labels may soon reach a boiling point as labels and their artists are increasingly putting pressure on Congress to change existing laws regarding charging radio broadcasters for playing their music. While songwriters and labels have always benefited from the current legal agreement, the artists themselves (unless they share songwriter credits) do not receive airplay royalties from ASCAP, BMI, SESAC, M.I.A., D.R.I., AC-DC, and NWOBHM*.
David Oxenford, music attorney (and to further drive the Top Gun reference above into your minds, we'll call him “Goose”), claims that changing the existing laws by implementing any of the proposed legislation would negate the present label/radio relationship and would cause radio stations to start charging the labels or musicians for promotional play.

"If you get into the sort of situation where you have a performance royalty, but you also give broadcasters the rights to collect money for featuring music on the air without any sort of announcement that you have to do now to avoid the payola rules, you're going to make the richest artists richer because, for example, if you're a rock station you can't avoid playing U2. So U2 gets richer."

Of course this is utter b.s.; U2 cannot possibly get richer, can they?
“Goose” adds, “For medicine and food, the basics of life, no disclosure is required by law, but music, which everybody loves but isn’t life and death -- requires disclosure of you go to jail, and it’s kind of silly.”

Not everyone loves music, although everyone claims to. And for those who do love music, it IS life and death. I hum a different theme song for each of my unique body emissions, and let's just say when someone like “Left-Eye” Lopes and “Dimebag” Darrell dies, not just a little part of me dies, but a whole honkin’ mid-section!

(Note: I picked these artists because when musicians who die have cute nicknames like “Left-Eye” and “Dimebag,” it is even more important to remember and commemorate their lives.).

Oxenford makes some insightful points, of course. Times are funny right now: radio is floundering, as are labels, so both sides are justifiably trying to squeeze any monies out the other if enforceable. Even the most optimistic of music industry cheerleaders cannot pretend that things will get better for either side in the near future. Just think of that when you are downloading the latest Jordin Sparks or Jonas Brothers. YOU hold the power. Think of the “little” people: record company presidents are filling up their Escalades with regular gas, and I have actually heard of radio broadcasting bigwigs feeding their families with store-bought sushi and domestic beer. For shame! When will this madness end?

Things are just heating up folks so as they say in the gutters, “Watch this space for details.” Until then, please support your labels by going to see terrible campy Broadway music-related extravaganzas like Lennon and All Shook Up and The Times They Are A-Changin,' which are horrible, of course, but feature stellar back catalogs that manage to fill the silk pockets of our music industry heroes (not the artists though... let them remain peasants).

* “New Wave of British Heavy Metal,” of course!

Georgie James To Begin Tour Tomorrow (If Today Is April 4, 2008 And The World Doesn’t Unexpectedly Blow Up Before Then)

Do you know Georgie James? Even if their MySpace quote makes it seem otherwise, this is a band, not a person. Comprised of singer-songwriter Laura Burhenn and former Q & Not U drummer John Davis, the duo has proved quite capable of performing various styles of music, making it that much harder to box them in (a prime example being last year's enjoyable Places on Saddle Creek). And if there's one "ever-present" element in a Georgie James tune, it's the "ever-lovable" hook, which will be on full display as they perform their "Duo Set" (acoustic and without additional musicians) on most of the dates on their upcoming tour.

If this whole shebang sounds like your bag, make yourself "ever-present" (maybe just present) at one of their shows -- the first one kicks off this Saturday in Washington, D.C. -- even if your knowledge of them is less than scholarly. Don't be confused; Georgie James scholars are welcome at every show.

* Georgie James Acoustic Duo Set

Silver Jews Get Israeli On Your Ass, Tour Europe With Tel-Aviv Rockers Monotonix

Let's cut the bullshit and forge the nitty gritty here:

Monotonix: Three-piece Israeli classic rock yet punk-at-heart freak-out band; have tendencies to destroy all venues, playing the show from within the audience, dousing themselves in beer, and lighting themselves on fire; while the Tel-Avivers proclaim "classic rock" as their prime inspiration, they don't consider their own music "classic classic rock," which is just about the only way to put it.

----

Silver Jews: David Berman and (at one time) Steven Malkmus' alt-country, indie-rock project predating Pavement; sedated and sardonic with nine years of experience and six albums under their belt (come July); Berman refused to play live until 2006 -- now tours with his wife and fellow Jews member Cassie Berman.

Put it all together and what have you got? Something incomprehensibly epic.

See It To Believe It.

Silver Jews tour:

Watch out Jenny Lewis: The Watson Twins announce the release of Fire Songs

It’s all because of Conor Oberst’s sweaty lovesick lyrics. After releasing four albums with Rilo Kiley, Conor Oberst convinced Jenny Lewis to put together a solo album, 2006's Rabbit Fur Coat. But it wasn’t just Jenny Lewis’ soulful voice that made the record worth playing on repeat. Behind the storytelling of songs like “Rabbit Fur Coat” and “You Are What You Love” were two Louisville Kentucky twins who belted out vocals on their identical sets of tonsils: The Watson Twins.

Consisting of Chandra and Leigh, The Watson Twins drove from Louisville to L.A where they shared drinks and laughs with the likes of Rilo Kiley and Earlimart, which only logically led to concerts in Tokyo and Berlin, and appearances on David Letterman and Conan O’Brien. The whirlwind of traveling with Jenny Lewis led to The Watson twins putting together their own songs, all found on their homemade EP Southern Manners.

Most recently, The Twins sold out a performance at the Getty Museum and appeared at SXSW, and now these folk twins are going to show you how Kentucky girls do it on record. Their first album, Fire Songs, is set to be released June 24 by Vanguard, famous for artists such as Joan Baez and Buddy Guy. Get a taste of it on The Watson Twins' MySpace.

Tracklisting for Fire Songs:

Beirut Cancel European Tour

Zach Condon has announced the cancellation of Beirut's summer European tour. According to a post on Beirut's website, Condon explains how the cancellation is mainly due to "personal" reasons, which include... well, it's probably best if you just read it yourself in its entirety (see below). I can't really relate to Condon's sentiments in any meaningful way, but I can sure sympathize.

...

A Letter from Zach

"It's with great regret that I have to tell all of you that Beirut is canceling their summer European shows. My reasons for doing this are many, a lot of them personal, but I still feel I need to provide something of an explanation.

The past two years have been a mindblowing experience. From the first indications that people were putting songs from Gulag up on their blogs to our incredible tour of Australia and New Zealand that we just completed, everything that has happened has been beyond anything I'd ever hoped could happen with the music I wrote and recorded in my bedroom. Once things started happening, I decided I wanted to do everything as big as possible. So, I set about putting together a large band, and giving that band a huge sound, and making the most spectacular records we possibly could.

"I know this can sound like an artist shithead kind of comment, but going through all that really does have its low points along with the highs. The responsibilities of gathering people around your vision, working with great people like those who work directly for the band and those at the label, wanting to insure that every show is as good as humanly possible so that every single person in the audience sees that we put in a real effort, all of that leads to a lot of issues in terms of doing right by people who have done you right.

"It's come time to change some things, reinvent some others, and come back at some point with a fresh perspective and batch of songs.

Please accept my apologies. I promise we'll be back, in some form."

...

Here are the canceled tourdates:

Thanks Edwin!

My cat is an asshole. He contributes absolutely nothing to the house. A true freeloader. He demands to be fed at least half a dozen times per day, and when I finally pour the food, he head-butts the bag so that food scatters into his water bowl. Then, he has the nerve to demand fresh water because of the floating food. He has a special blanket set up on the recliner that he knows he's supposed to sleep on, yet night after night he moves to the couch once I've gone to bed. When inside the house, he sits at the door meowing to go out; when outside, he meows to come in. When I try to walk anywhere in the house, he walks about six inches in front of me in a zig-zag pattern, making it impossible for me to go even a few feet without tripping. He spends the bulk of his waking hours sitting in the window sill staring blankly at the front yard. He prefers to do so with the window open and will pester me about opening it, like, right after I start to nap. Opposable thumbs, bitch.

It's really a lot like having a teenage son. He's got no job, no ambition, no respect for authority; just a sense of entitlement to the fruits of my labor. He has many qualities which one could only describe as "emo." He's been known to engage in highly objectionable behavior involving his testicles, often in the presence of guests. He comes and goes without notice, sometimes worrying me by staying out all night without so much as a phone call, just to let me know everything's okay. Clearly, I'm not asking a lot. Just a little help around the house every once in a while -- and, if it's not too much to ask, a little respect.

Also, Müm is touring:

Beloved Belgian youth sleuth Tintin is a favorite of many emotionally stunted peeps. Forever getting into complex scrapes and head-spinning adventures that take him to exotic locales and remote climes (and on more than one occasion, The Moon) the wussy, blond, go-getting cub reporter is an enigma. He frequently meets fantastic characters, but instead of developing an awesome drug addiction or boning some grateful heiress, he chooses to hang around a perpetually drunken sea captain and his faithful companion Snowy, the Fox terrier.

Walking with my girlfriend downtown last week, I spotted someone who looked EXACTLY like one of the bumbling Thom(p)sons from Hergé's animated stories.

Me (excitedly): “Hey, that guy looks exaaactly like one of the Thom(p)sons!”

Her: “Oh, you mean Dupond and Dupont?”

Me: “What?”

Her: “Dupond and Dupont... from Tintin.”

Me: Yeah, I know Tintin... I live and breathe Tintin, beotch. But those gooves are called Thomson and Thompson.”

Her: Yeah, to English idiots. In French, the language that the stories were originally written in, those “gooves,” as you call them, are called Dupond and Dupont.

Ah yes, being the clueless xenophobe that I am, I conveniently forgot that each country calls the two mustachioed, bowler-hatted bumblers something different (i.e.: Hernández and Fernández, Schultze and Schulze, Tik and Tak).

Me (conceding): “Oh yeah....”

Right about now you might be asking why on Earth am I blathering about goofy-looking twin detectives from a comic that no one reads when I should be dithering on about the spectacular-looking pop couple The Rosebuds that everybody loves. You would be right to be curious. So, to afford you some closure on this anecdote -- yeah, The Rosebuds? I like ’em fine, but my girlfriend liked them back in the ’80s when they were called The Thompson Twins.

The shape-shifting duo of Kelly Crisp and Ivan Howard will bring to the live forum their latest album, the Merge-released elec-retro master class Night of the Furies, their hooky debut album The Rosebuds Make Out, their melancholic gloom of a second album Birds Make Good Neighbors, and hopefully some new tunes of unspecified orientation when they play a string of dates beginning late April. The tour includes shows at many of the usual suspected haunts, including one night in Kentucky and one show at the “My Old Kentucky Blog” concert... in Indianapolis. Nope, I don't get it either. Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles, here are the dates!
04.28.08 - Lexington, KY - The Dame
04.29.08 - Chicago, IL - Subterranean
04.30.08 - Indianapolis, IN - My Old Kentucky Blog Concert
05.01.08 - Columbia, MO - Mojo’s
05.02.08 - Oxford, MS - Proud Larry’s
05.03.08 - Nashville, TN - Mercy Lounge
05.04.08 - Asheville, NC - Grey Eagle
05.06.08 - Carrboro, NC - Cat’s Cradle
05.07.08 - Charlottesville, VA - Satellite Ballroom
05.08.08 - Washington, DC - Black Cat
05.09.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s
05.10.08 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
05.11.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg
05.13.08 - Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club
05.14.08 - Portland, ME - TBD
05.15.08 - Montréal, Quebec - La Sala Rossa
05.16.08 - Toronto, Ontario - Lee’s Palace
05.17.08 - Buffalo, NY - Tralf Music Hall
05.18.08 - Pittsburgh, PA - Mr. Small’s Theatre

From Grönland Records:

"We are very sad to report the death of Klaus Dinger, who died suddenly of heart failiure four days before his 62nd birthday on March 20th 2008.

Dinger formed Neu! with Micheal Rother in 1971, releasing three seminal albums: Neu!, Neu 2! and Neu 75!

His landmark drumming style on these records, a propulsive almost surf-like repetitious groove defined the term 'motorik' and has had a profound influence on a huge range of artists such as Primal Scream, Stereolab, Wilco, David Bowie, The Boredoms and Four Tet.

He later formed La Dusseldorf, selling over a million copies in the 70s and 80s.

The burial took place amongst a private circle of family and friends. He will be greatly missed."

- Official website
- Wikipedia entry
- Grönland Records
- YouTube: Kraftwerk - "Heavy Metal Kids"(live)
- YouTube: Neu performing "Hero" (live)
- YouTube: La Düsseldorf

Labels Seek $2.5 Million in Damages from The Pirate Bay; “Record companies can go screw themselves,” says The Pirate Bay

Back in January, The Pirate Bay's founders were accused of being accessories to copyright infringement by studios and labels, including Warner, MGM, Sony BMG, Columbia Pictures, and 20th Century Fox (TMT News). And now -- surprise, surprise -- The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) wanna piece too, a $2.5 million one, for the sharing of 24 albums, 9 movies, and 4 video games. Serious shit? Wouldn't appear to be, according to co-founder Gottfried Svartholm Warg's responses in Sweden's The Local:

- Response 1: "Record companies can go screw themselves."

- Response 2: "We mostly laughed at [the claim]."

- Response 3: "It doesn't appear if the record companies have much of a strategy at all."

- Response 4: "[The IFPI's] numbers are pure fantasy."

- Response 5: "As usual, we're not too concerned."

Frankly, I'd just pay the $2.5 million. Life's too short to stand for anything.

  

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