My more dedicated readers (looking at you, mom) may have noticed that I’ve been missing from the hallowed (OMG WAIT FOR IT!) pages from TMT this week. Well, I would apologize, but I’ve been reading every Harry Potter leak I can get my hands on. I’ve read the leak photographed on the red carpet, the leak photographed on the grey carpet, and the typed-out version of the leak photographed on the red carpet. Hell, I even read the 784 page fan-fiction. So now I present you, and I guess JK Rowlings legal team, the Official Tiny Mix Tapes Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Spoilers Aggregate (Â® pending).
SPOILER ALERT! HIGHLIGHT TO READ!
SRSLY SPOILERS COMING UP!
LOTS OF THEM!
I’M NOT KIDDING! DON’T E-MAIL ME BEING ALL PISSY IF YOU READ THIS AND THE BOOK IS RUINED FOR YOU!
The Clientele is touring. Yeah, that was predictable and yet still a total letdown. Dates:
Disclaimer: I have never actually read a Harry Potter book, but I’m pretty sure it will turn out the Krum is Harry’s brother. You heard it here first.
Dear Reader, Baby, Sweetheart,
Here’s a tasty, dream-killin’, Wikipedia-provided truth: Everything comes full circle -- and Dave Matthews-listening, ice-luge-blistering, hot-wings-finger-licking-in-between-videogame-control-clicking dudes are omnipresent:
Mr. Lif’s pseudonym comes from a Phish song.
That he liked.
Seriously. A quick check of Wikipedia will kill your spirits.
Mr. Lif is hitting the open road for the hip-hop-you-don’t-stop Paid Dues Festival. He may or may not spark up a doobie with da’ boyz from Phish after the show.
You buy a Dutch Masters cigar and peel off the paper, I’ll roll us one... Oh, can that chick you’re bangin’ pick us up some Natty-light?:
Pinback Preps For Tour As I, Infirm With A Laid Up Left Mitt And Gorging On A 10-Day World Of Warcraft Trial, Engage In this Conversation With A Sexy Nightelf I Secretly Suspect To Be Pinback’s Rob Crow
PinBizRbCr: hi. do u wnt 2 cyb3r?
ShAzAmUrFaCe: thnx but I’m doin quests
PinBizRbCr: rofl.anywyas I”M MARRIED
PinBizRbCr: i’m in aband, u know
PinBizRbCr: ill g1ve you a clu. my cd dr0pz Sep 11
PinBizRbCr: k clu numbr 2, my webtsit rawks
ShAzAmUrFaCe: uh. i dunno. fallout boy?
PinBizRbCr bursts out in dance
ShAzAmUrFaCe: dood, dont rub your nightelf cooties on me
PinBizRbCr: I wll cut u. 8====D
You slap PinBizRbCr across the face. Ouch!
PinBizRbC has challenged you to a duel
ShAzAmUrFaCe: how bout a little kiss on my FIST
PinBizRbCr is dead
You receive: [indie street cred]
Count the Concrete Seconds to your tourdate of choice:
Sunburned Hand Of The Man Is Stuck in Four Tet’s Fridge; Instant Relief and New Album Are The Results
Since that triumphant day that turkey and jerky first conjugated in a veritable orgy of vaccuum-packed sinfulness, I have long sought out a collaboration of similar intensity -- one that would delight and entrance me to somewhere, anywhere, near the degree to which that toothsome dried meat snack did. This search, I regret to report, has largely been fruitless. Tits and Ass left me cold, largely embarrassed, and in need of a pizza. Heroin and Cocaine merely led to constipation. Discovering the nexus of Jazz and Funk only resulted in an unhealthy desire to learn slap bass and gently brush the hair of Jaco Pastorius’s exhumed corpse.
But now, this pitiful search may hopefully be coming to a end. I refer to Sunburned Hand Of The Man’s new album Fire Escape, due to be released October 2 on the possibly legendary Norwegian Smalltown Supersound label. And yes, it’s produced by Kieran Hebden, the noted Four Tet and Fridge egghead. Hebden, apparently a long-term fan/stalker of the band, asked for -- and was given, because he’s Kieran Hebden -- the chance to record them in a London studio. Now his smart-arse fiddling, twitching, wiggling, and twiddling around with these recordings has resulted in the construction of “his vision of a Sunburned record.”
Indeed, strengthening the potential awesomeness of this, Hebden is listed as a full member of the band on this press release thing, as are both Mick Flower and Bridget Hayden of Vibracathedral Orchestra global superstardom. And if that isn’t enough for you ungrateful fucks, Yamatsuka Eye’s doing the artwork! Rumor is that he was slated to play bongos on the record, but once he got to the studio, the coppers outside turned him away because the place was already too full.
In related news, Sunburned recently released The Pegadrift on Fuck It Tapes (limited to 80). In September, Conspiracy Records will release a CD/LP collaboration with Circle, originally recorded in Finland last September. And finally, expect some European dates soon.
I Felt ‘he Spirit Movun’ Withun Me, True Me Lim’s an’ den it Struck Me in the ‘ead Ou’ a Nowher: K Records and Old Time Relijun Revival!
Noticeably absent from this year's — or any year's — Pitchfork Music Festival —what? —was a performer on the K Records roster. That's funny. I mean, you would think that the premiere independent music resource would have an angle on that.
Rightfully so, K Records have another fest to worry about: What the Heck Fest, on now through July 22 and featuring a good chunk of the K Records roster. The fest is in Anacortes, WA and is completely sold out, so let's not bother with the schedule (besides, we already told you about it months ago).
Instead, let's revel in the fact that Old Time Relijun's new album Catharsis In Crisis is slated for release October 9. (How much says this album release date sticks?) Catharsis In Crisis is the conclusion to OTR's "Lost Light" trilogy, and it seems as though 2004's Lost Light, 2005's 2012, and now 2007's Catharsis In Crisis make up said trilogy. Interesting, no? That's a great gimmick for selling more records. That, and the record containing good music.
Look for the old timeys to tour near you soon, if you're not near one of the following:
I bet you stopped by the old TMTsted today just to check out which beloved band of yore has reunited now. As of late, bands seem to be getting back together at a rate of once-per-day. Fans of reuniting in general would be wise to visit this site at least that often. If you didn't read the headline, I won't keep you in suspense anymore; today's re-entry into the rock world is Eric's Trip.
Part of the '90s Eastern Canadian scene (Sloan, Jale, Superfriendz, etc.) and the first Canadian band signed to Sub Pop, Eric's Trip's initial run of producing lo-fi fuzzy-rock started in 1990 and had come to an end by '97. But reuniting is old hat to the Trip -- both 2001 and 2006 saw the band "reforming" to play a handful of shows. Now it looks like the itch has hit them again, as the group (Julie Dorion, Chris Thompson, Rick White & Mark Gaudet) has announced it will "reunite" only to play a small number of shows over the next few months.
The years in between reunions appear to have been good to the members of Eric's Trip, Like ET, its individual members have found a fair amount of success, more so in their homeland than anywhere else. Dorion has received much acclaim as a solo artist, winning a Juno Award (Juno is to Canada as Grammy is to USA, but one has better taste) and was on the shortlist for the 2007 Polaris Music Prize (Polaris is to Canada as Mercury is to England; they are pretty much equal). Thompson plays in an outfit called Moon Socket, while White has a solo career and has played with Gaudet in Elevator. White will be pulling double-duty as the group's opening act for these shows beginning August 8.
The first show will take place August 5 at Sappyfest, a festival put on by Sappy Records (duh!), which just so happens to have been started by Dorion. The band plans to play five other shows and is trying to put together a sixth in its hometown, Morton, NB. If you are planning on attending any of these shows and do not currently reside in Canada, remember: Compared to the States, Canada has less crime, better access to healthcare, larger subsidies for the arts, and its beer has a higher alcohol percentage. It appears that Canada rules, so be on the lookout for some secret downside to living in Canada; my research has turned up nada. Except for Windsor, ON, the place where sleaziness is palatable.
# Rick White
According to the New York Post, Sprint will be the first company to underwrite its logo onto a song to be distributed freely to peer-to-peer networks. Sixteen-million files of what is sure to be a tuneless piece of piss by hip-hop artist Plies will be unleashed onto a variety of P2P networks over the next three months. “Diamond” Jon Diamond, CEO of ARTISTdirect, claims the deal, which is worth a substantial “six figures” to its MediaDefender, Atlantic, Piles, and his publishing company, will have a three-pronged purpose: (1) generate income for record labels, (2) curtail piracy, and (3) allow brands to associate with key artists to reach a desired demographic. News of the deal ushers in a new line of thinking vis-à-vis P2P networks with companies actually embracing the technology and sharing avenues it has previously been trying to destroy. The deal sounds simple enough, but a handy graphic courtesy of the Post explains it even better.
The song file will have the Sprint logo embedded in it, so it will appear on any device screen you are playing the track on. From an advertising standpoint, this permanent form of branding is a better idea than the previously popular one of shaving the Sprint logo into the hair of thousands of people, because hair tends to grow and eventually covers the shaved design. Needless to say, hairstylists are pissed. I knew it... P2P technology is still in its relative infancy, and we are already seeing industries being torn apart! And it is no coincidence that it just so happens to be affecting the most important industry too, when you consider that if you are bald or have an asinine ‘do, cut, or style, your life is pretty much over. Any winner will tell you that the secret to success is “matte finish, high hold,” bitches!
This partnership is just one of the latest deals brokered by ARTISTdirect this year. In February, Suretone Records signed up with the burgeoning buzzkill company to let users download legitimate files from the label onto illicit peer-to-peer networks. This deal includes the creation of a Suretone video channel on ARTISTdirect.com, because listening to music without accompanying video clips is just not enjoyable. Suretone is a subsidiary of Universal and apparently has Chris Cornell, The Cure, and Weezer on its roster. Hmm, you learn something new everyday, I guess.
ARTISTdirect acquired the Marina Del Rey-based MediaDefender in 2005. They spent a lot of money. MediaDefender is a leader in the development of software that detects illegal file trading and is used frequently by music and entertainment companies in order to combat the twisted evil bastards who should be kicked repeatedly in the nads (if any) because they download copyrighted music and video. MediaDefender should not be confused with this blockbuster that is sweeping the nation.
Of Montreal Sells Rights to “Bunny Ain’t No Kind Of Rider” For Kevin’s Porsche And Tour Fund To Yard Machines; Jingle Goes Like This: “Eva I’m Sorry, But You Will Never Have Me, To Me You’re Just Some Faggy Girl And I Need A Lover With A Snow Plower And You Ain’t Got No Snow Plower”
I know, I know! I'm so pissed off, too! Why don't you go start a petition to boycott Of Montreal or something? I'd totally sign! Oh, you should start a poll asking what color his Porsche should be too. Yeah!
I'd choose pink, because he'll probably be wearing his cute lil' pink cowboy boots for this newly expanded tour:
* with Grand Buffet, MGMT
Rogue Wave Release Asleep At Heaven’s Gate September 18; We All Wonder If It’s A Clue to 1.18.08 (Answer: It’s Not)
I've been going without sleep for days, after I saw the mysterious trailer for the untitled film produced by J.J. Abrams (of Lost fame) that played before Transformers. The film, currently being known as Cloverfield or 1.18.08, has been creating "ginormous" (yeah, I hate that word too, but I'll freely use it now that is it in Webster's dictionary) buzz due to its viral marketing campaign of mysterious clues and arcane websites. I think this is obviously lame, but a fun and stressful way to kill time at my job. My mind is so tired from searching for clues that anything could be a clue now.
For instance, I should be discussing the Rogue Wave album Asleep At Heaven's Gate due September 18 on Brushfire Records. However, all I can think about is how Rogue Wave might have something to do with that damn movie. FYI: I have no life other than TMT and catering to my Mr P altar/nudity room, so it is understandable that I am totally nerding-out on all the hype. Fuck this Rogue Wave news. Lead singer Zach Rogue gets enough attention anyway, like getting his music played on popular television shows like Weeds,Friday Night Lights, and Heroes. Okay, so there was that time when "Bird on a Wire" was playing at the abortion clinic where my sister was getting a... um... controversial procedure done. But that is neither a humorous nor entertaining story to share. I did get a free t-shirt from the whole experience though.
Eh, alright I forgot what I was rambling on about. I'm so tired. I should go to sleep. Okay, quick Rogue Wave wrap-up. Let me see, Asleep At Heaven's Gate was produced by Roger Moutenot (Elvis Costello, Yo La Tengo, Sleater Kinney), so that is a definite upside. The album will also feature guest appearances from Matthew Caws of Nada Surf and John Vanderslice. I know at least one TMT writer who would buy this album on the Vanderslice collaboration alone. The downside to this might be that Brushfire Records is a record label that was started by Jack Johnson and his wife in 2002. Do I despise Jack Johnson? Maybe I did at one point, but maybe the hate will wear off eventually.
Truthfully, I highly doubt Rogue Wave have anything to do with 1.18.08, but maybe this album will put me in much-needed peace. Still, I need some sort of clue. If you do know something Mr. Rogue, and you are keeping it secret, you better spill the beans. I mean why are you asleep at heaven's gate anyway? Is the monster up there? Is God the monster? I know you know. Tell me! I am now beginning to realize that maybe it's "us" who are the monsters. We are the consumers and the impatient fanboys who are as quick to realize our own downfall as we are to realize that premature ejaculation is not impressive to anyone.
Now, I must head back to the IMDB boards to obsess some more. I have learned nothing. But at least this article has been absolutely successful.