The Apples in Stereo Announce Upcoming Colbert, Live, Tape, and Film Appearances

You know former Elephant 6-ers The Apples in Stereo, right? They have a bunch of albums, the latest of which is their second singles/rarities LP Electronic Projects For Musicians (Yep Roc), which was released a couple months ago. So why screw around? Let's get to the news (which will be presented here in order from most-to-least interesting, if you are thinking of jumping ship, mid-voyager):

The AIS are getting ready for a two-week tour, starting July 18 from their home base of Kentucky and wrapping up everything in New York. But NYC will not be just any show, as the band will be performing on The Colbert Report (11:30 EST, Comedy Central) August 4. You may remember that Apples' CEO Robert Schneider made an appearance on the show a couple years back, during that Colbert (represented by Peter Frampton) vs. The Decemberists (represented by Chris Funk) guitar battle episode, singing his tribute to the faux-pundit, "Stephen Stephen" (which can be found on Electronic).

Speaking of Schneider, he has a cameo in the upcoming Mike Myers yu(c)k-fest, The Love Guru. Schneider can be seen in a scene set in a bar performing the traditional bluegrass song "Foggy Mountain Breakdown," which he and bluegrass band The McKendrees contributed to the movie's soundtrack. Lastly, I just ate an apple.


^ Pison Center Control

# Big Fresh

* Earlimart

Fuck Buttons Hit the Road with Mogwai, Vocal Mics Get Used for Cool, Spinny, Showboating Purposes Only

Have you had it up to HERE with musicians who try to make their songs "better" by cramming that silly old "narrative" bullshit into them? Well, I hope so, because noise droners and post-rockers Fuck Buttons and Mogwai have little-to-no use for that trivial bullshit. Touring together for the first time this fall, these two mum's-the-word bands will be telepathically spreading their musical love all over their syntactically-enlightened, anti-diction audiences like Mark McGrath spreads love on fly. But unlike the ever-poetic Sugar Ray, these folks don't need WORDS to take them by the hand and show them a good time. Why should YOU?!?

Besides, what has something as banal as "intelligible lyrics" (complete with all of those buzzwords like "purpose," "meaning," and "feeling") ever done for anybody?? Nothing. Nothing for nobody. Meaningful lyrics? I say who needs 'em. And so do Fuck Buttons and Mogwai. Are you with them, readers!?!?

...Not convinced, huh? Okay, fine. I'll prove it to you.

This is what happens when music is unencumbered with those trivial lyrics and allowed finally to speak for itself. Beautiful, evocative... truly the "language" of the gods, right?

Now, here's that same song when you add lyrics to it! You be the judge.

That's what I thought. See you there.

* Liars

** Mogwai

P.S. Mogwai's sixth album, The Hawk Is Howling, is set for release on September 23, preceded by the Batcat EP on September 9. Okay?

Batcat EP tracklist:

1. Batcat
2. Stupid Prick Gets Chased By The Police And Loses His Slut Girlfriend
3. Devil Rides

The Hawk Is Howling tracklist:

1. I'm Jim Morrison, I'm Dead
2. Batcat
3. Danphe And The Brain
4. Local Authority
5. The Sun Smells Too Loud
6. Kings Meadow
7. I Love You, I'm Going To Blow Up Your School
8. Scotland’s Shame
9. Thank You Space Expert
10. The Precipice

Both Quart Festival and Redfest Are Now Canceled, But Why Can’t I Stop Laughing?

Just kidding about laughing. I ain't laughing. This ain't no laughing matter.

This past Saturday, it was announced that Norway's long-standing Quart Festival was canceled due to "ticket sales being weaker than expected and budgetary concerns." And that's even with a pretty hefty lineup (Death Cab for Cutie, Gnarls Barkley, Battles, Liars, Spank Rock, Holy Fuck, Kool Keith, etc.)! Maybe people were sick of Bibles being burned on stage? Or pigheads being thrown in the audience? Or people having sex on stage? (These all really happened, FYI.)

And now, word has just come in that the debut of South East England's Redfest has been canceled too. "Due to the very disappointing tickets sales we have had no choice but to call the festival off," according to a post on the official website. Admittedly, the lineup wasn't quite as stellar -- Crystal Castles, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Los Campesinos!, Patrick Wolf -- but this still breaks my heart. Who the hell knows what kind of sexual or violent or religious scandal might've happened there. Maybe Patrick Wolf having sex with the lead singer of Does It Offend You, Yeah?, while barfing in the mouth of Los Campesinos' most religious member? IN YOUR DREAMS PERVERT! (Mine too.)

Beck Reveals Details for Modern Guilt And Shit

- Artist: Beck
- Album title: Modern Guilt
- Record Label: DGC
- Release date: July 8, 2008
- Collaborators: Danger Mouse, Cat Power (on "Walls")

Modern Guilt tracklisting:

Damon and Naomi to Tour with Helena Espvall and Masaki Batoh; Tom and Jerry to Hold Camera and Join in on the Fun Should Mood Strike Them

Helena Espvall and Masaki Batoh (Ghost) are set to release their debut, self-titled collaboration July 22 on Drag City. Featuring "6- and 12-string guitar, banjo, cello, hurdy-gurdy, harp, contra bass, chappa Tibetan bells, Kin (Buddist metallic bowl), timpani, bass marimba, vibraphone, thunder sheet," and more, you'd be right in assuming this doesn't sound like Ugly Kid Joe, despite how amazing that band was. (Fun fact: “Everything About You” peaked at #3 in the UK Singles Chart.)

Today, Espvall and Batoh begin a tour with Damon and Naomi, who are touring in support of 2007's Within These Walls (TMT Review). The duos will part ways after their Empty Bottle gig, with Damon and Naomi trudging forth on a short European tour and Espvall and Batoh sleeping on beds made out of the money earned from the tour.

Damon & Naomi and Helena Espvall & Masaki Batoh tour:

EMI Gains Access to BBC Archives Containing a David Bowie Documentary, Live Pink Floyd, and Other Cool Shit

EMI is now able to open the BBC's own Cave of Broadcast Wonders, which gives me the mental image of a huge iron door laboriously wrenched open and Syd Barrett careening out, only to hit the opposite wall. In a deal forged this week, the BBC has agreed to grant unfettered access to EMI in exchange for use of EMI's artist performances in their programming. EMI plans to use this reservoir of material to create exclusive live DVDs, CDs, and digital download content.

"In the BBC vaults there is a wealth of unreleased and high quality material from EMI artists that we will now be able to bring to fans," says EMI senior VP Pete Duckworth. "At the same time, we can offer new revenue opportunities to our artists that simply weren't there before."

As mentioned in the headline, some of the hidden treasures include a 1975 Bowie documentary and a 1967 Pink Floyd performance of Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Hey, check it: EMI had a good idea! Devote time to the artists in your catalog that are actually good, and people will probably buy your swag! Oh man, this defies logic. Or follows it. I need to lie down (with David Bowie).

Cogito, Ergo Blow Your Fucking Mind; Indeed, Mars Volta Expands Tour

Dear Diary,

Is my mind more than a spot on the surface of a spherical flame? If so, how does its orbit establish my existence in relation to the emptiness of the void? Does it overcome insignificance and achieve true being, or does being simply achieve insignificance, overcome by truth? Are you there, God? It’s me, Cedric. I’m cold.

“Everything grows old under the power of Time and is forgotten through the lapse of Time.” Yet still the carnal desire to tour this September wells up within me, to educate the masses, the plebeians, the scum who remain ignorant to the sonic goddess that is my masculinity, personified through poetry. Fact: there are certain metaphysical truths which reveal themselves only in the Dionysian ecstasy of a half-hour bass solo. How long have I been in this room?

My dharma, through events set into motion before the dawn of time, has been to overcome my status as sidereal Libra, omnivore, and American, and, through sound, manifest eternal triumph. Mine was a virgin birth, for I am the child of pure art and unconditional strength. I can rise to this challenge. I can create light. I can. I can! I am man! I am art! It shall be!

Oh, to be!

Cedric Bixler-Zavala

M.I.A. Cancels Tour Onstage Last Friday, Confirms Cancellation This Week

Last Friday, M.I.A. announced during her performance at McCarren Pool that she is canceling her upcoming tour. She confirmed the cancellation before her performance at MoMA's "Party in the Garden."

“This is my last show. I cancelled the UK tour," M.I.A. told New York Magazine. “Nobody knows. This is it. You’re hearing it first. My manager was supposed to cancel it yesterday, but he was watching football — don’t tell anyone — and he forgot. So nobody knows. I guess now they will.”

Why M.I.A.? Why?

“I’m canceling because I feel like physically I just have to stop for a second. It’s too insane. I was losing a sense of just, like, reality, you know what I mean? I think for an artist like me, it’s so important for me to be in the streets and go to the same shop every day and see the same people and, like, communicate. And it’s really difficult to do that when you’re in the city every day for 24 hours. Like, I love connecting with my band, but I want to actually help them and be a part of peoples’ lives. Which is really hard when you’re on tour.”

Oh, I see. But what about a new album?

“I’ve been writing on tour. I’m really into writing new songs. I’m going to put out a new record instead. At the end of the day, I’m here, you know.”

It's unknown whether or not the entire European tour is canceled or just the UK dates, but New York Magazine believes its the entire tour. Also unknown is if this cancellation includes her Bonnaroo appearance, but I'm guessing probably not. Really, your best bet is to simply show up at any of the following dates and wait and see if she shows up. If she doesn't, you can be all, like, "Wow, she's truly M.I.A.!"

Warner Music Group No Longer Offering Free Ad-Supported Music On That Means No More Streaming Old Puff Daddy Albums For Me. Fuck You WMG, How Could You Be So Selfish as to Take Away My P Diddy? (This Is The Point Where Mr P Will Edit The Headline To Read: “I Got Your P Diddy Right Here, Scoutty Boy.”)

Warner Music Group has yanked itself (and its music) from the free, ad-supported music streaming feature on, after they were unable to reach an agreement regarding proper compensation.

Warner Music Group was the first major music group to sign up with's streaming service, but the shit turned sour as Warner Music Group believes that the compensation rates on aren't as good as those offered by competing site IMEEM and the soon-to-be-launched service from MySpace. WMG has also been ticked off about's lack of a music subscription service.

CBS, the owner of since May 2007, released a statement claiming that it is currently in negotiations with WMG, so my guess is that WMG will likely be back on soon. WMG would be stupid not to put its music back on the site, since has become such an important player in the music industry. Not having its music on the site could lead to lost profits for the major, and it wouldn't want that, would it?

The Twinkie Defense Is Not an Acceptable Excuse! Go See Harvey Milk on Tour!

Keen followers of my horseshit rants (hi Mom!) know darn well that anytime I can throw in a reference to my favorite movie, Back to the Future, I will. Even if the news is bad, like when the famous courtyard and clocktower sets were destroyed in a fire on the Universal Studios lot last week, I will take the time to write about it and you, rightfully, will not take the time to read it. Apparently I’m not the only one with a BTTF fixation. In memorandum of the destroyed film sets Harvey Milk have planned their forthcoming tour on the space-time continuum featured so zanily in the trilogy.

It looks like a strange tour itinerary, and I do spot a couple of oversights: the band are covering dates in the Old West in 1885 by traveling back in time in the DeLorean, but a dozen shows in the U.S. starting this June 17 in Atlanta seem to be missing. Likewise, the band will undoubtedly McFly somewhere in the year 2015 to play some gigs, but I don’t see a bunch of confirmed July dates in Europe, mostly in Germany, where the band has been hailed as the second coming of Accept. I guess you can’t count on anything these days... except for Harvey Milk to completely destroy at any date they play, without the use of fire. Check the U.S. venues for supporting acts, which may include sets by Major Stars, Pride Parade, Torche, Clouds, Dead Goats, Growing, Bloody Panda, Dead Bird, 27, Black Helicopter, Pigs!, or Dianogah, depending on which show you WILL attend. All Euro dates are with Hydra Head label friends Oxbow.

Roads? Where Harvey Milk are going, they don’t need roads

06.17.08 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl
06.18.08 - Charlotte, NC - The Milestone
06.19.08 - Richmond, VA - Canal Club (downstairs)
06.20.08 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory
06.21.08 - Boston, MA - Great Scott
06.22.08 - Northampton, MA - The Elevens
06.23.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Europa
06.24.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s
06.25.08 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
06.26.08 - Wilmington, NC - Soapbox
06.27.08 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt
06.28.08 - Birmingham, AB - Bottle Tree
07.06.08 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk #
07.07.08 - Stuttgart, Germany - Club Schocken #
07.08.08 - Berlin, Germany - Festsaal Kreuzberg $
07.09.08 - Hamburg, Germany - Hafenklang #
07.10.08 - Rotterdam, Netherlands - Worm #
07.11.08 - Brussels, Belgium - Recyclart #
07.12.08 - Birmingham, England - Supersonic Festival
07.13.08 - Glasgow, Scotland - ABC2
07.14.08 - Manchester, England - The Ruby Lounge
07.15.08 - London, England - Underworld
07.16.08 - Paris, France - La Maroquinerie %
07.17.08 - Dortmund, Germany - Fzw #
07.18.08 - Dour, Belguim - Dour Festival #

# Oxbow

$ Oxbow and Parts & Labor

% Oxbow and Red Sparowes

The Milk, now fortified with additional nutrients like Joe Preston (Thrones, Melvins, Earth), released their latest album, Life...The Best Game in Town on Hydra Head, on June 3. If you own it, these might look familiar:

1. Death Goes to the Winner
2. Decades
3. After All I’ve Done for You, This Is How You Repay Me?
4. Skull Sock and Rope Shoes
5. We Destroy the Family
6. Motown
7. A Maelstrom of Bad Decisions
8. Roses
9. Barn Burner
10. Good Bye Blues