A crazy gypsy (vagrant, whatever) grabbed me by the ankle yesterday and started screaming at me -- something about müm and how they aren't "just" glitch IDM and "can't you SEE it!?" I was of course freaked out and was all, "Yeah man, whatever, just let go of my leg," but he held tight. I kicked him a couple of times before he let go, jumped on my bicycle, and rode home. As I soaked myself in a hot bath, I thought more deeply about what the crazy fuck had said. "There be meaning in them words," I thought.

I got up and grabbed the müm lyric sheets that I had lying around, and took them back to the bath for contemplation. Nothing but nonsense. Or Icelandic. Same thing? Out of boredom, I hovered the pages above the bath water and swirled them around, watching the steam curl the edges of the paper before the hot water suffused and sank them. I got out and pulled the drain, the paper whirling around and around, and as the last of the water spiraled out of sight, I noticed the remaining bits of paper had rearranged themselves into an illuminating text, a telling prediction of müm's world tour to come.

- "I go away, go away/ Past the hills, past the day" – Nightly Cares

Having just finished a four-date tour in Japan, müm (while no longer joined by its founding Valtýsdóttir sisters still boasts seven members) are indeed going away, sweeping through Europe, Singapore, and Australia in support of their 2007 release, Go Go Smear The Poison Ivy (TMT Review), their first release since Summer Make Good (TMT Review) released three years earlier.

- "Look how the lights lit/ Look how its tone shifts" – Oh How The Boat Drifts

The band has plans to hit a slew of cities with a schedule that's as fit for sightseeing as it is business (if you can call touring "business"): Dresden, Florence, Amsterdam, Sydney.

- "We who/ Lose our way/ Too drunk/ Scream and shout" – The Island of Children's Children

Hopefully not losing their way, müm's lined up some epic shows where you will be fully expected to drink, scream, and shout. Using a variety of traditional and non-conventional instruments along with pre-recorded material, microphones, computers, and on-stage improvisation, müm's live shows and DJ sets are widely recognized for their artistic impact and are not to be missed.

- "I hope tonight/ You will touch my hair/ And draw ghosts on my back" – The Ghosts you Draw On My Back

And they hope very much that you'll attend these shows and touch their hair...

- "Where are you/ I just want to say ‘how are you’/ Come here" – Abandonded Ship Bells

Despite the schism between old skool and new skool fans (original müm lineup with Valtýsdóttir sisters vs. müm post-Valtýsdóttir sisters), many people are attempting to bridge the gap, saying that the newer material and performances are, while markedly different, just as enjoyable as before. And müm thinks so too. müm wants their fanbase to be happy and wish very much to see you -- all of you.

- "A while go way [sic] nice and dark come back/ Home" – The Island of Children's Children

But they can't tour forever, and when March 19 has come and gone, the band will return home to begin work on their next release.

You never know what to expect:

Goodbye Crippling Boredom, Hello Raveonettes Tour!

Ahh... unemployment. While many people stuck in terribly boring, low-paying jobs may dream of the day their time at the local burrito shop or discount retailer will come to an end, leaving them with no greater responsibility than that of sleeping in late and watching judge shows on television all day, the truth is that unemployment very quickly becomes very lame. Perhaps my perspective would be better if I could identify myself as one of the idle rich. But I am not. (Attention idle rich people: if you are lonely and need someone to accompany you on a champagne-fueled yacht journey through the Florida Keys, or just need someone to screen your calls so Paris Hilton leaves you alone, please do not hesitate to contact me.)

For the past few weeks I have been filling my time in pursuit of three main goals. These goals include, but are not limited to: (1) obsessively searching for jobs on Craigslist, (2) obsessively drinking tea and coffee, and (3) obsessively looking up eBay auctions on which I cannot afford to bid. Also, I spend a lot of time making up new nicknames for my cat, looking for funny news on the internet, and checking concert
listings. Fortunately, this last hobby has been fairly fruitful. Today's discovery was that Danish garage rockers The Raveonettes have recently taken up residence in the United States and plan on bringing their feedback-infused live show from sea to shining sea for a Spring tour in support of their debut album on Vice Records, 2007's Lust Lust Lust. And now I am passing that discovery on to you, the reader, in hopes that I can be of help whether you, too, are unemployed and searching for entertainment in the upcoming months, or whether you just need someone to open endless bottles of Dom Pérignon on the SS Buffy or whatever your boat is called. Note: I am also available for rhino safaris.

* Blonde Redhead

Felice Brothers Tour, Repping the 845 Area Code Quite Nicely, IMHO

Here's a fact: when it comes to the Felice Brothers, I'm biased. First of all, they hail from my college stomping grounds. (Note: I have only been out of college for less than a year, but since I have indeed moved out of my college town, I have every right to refer to said town as "my college stomping grounds." Just clearing that up right now.) Secondly, they go quite well with a pint of whatever's on tap, and they manage to indulge in a few themselves while cranking out some of the most earnest Americana rock/folk I've heard in a long while. Simone Felice often opens for his own band with the help of his wife's keyboard accompaniment, and Bob Dylan comparisons run rampant right into the main set, where he's joined by his violin&accordion&guitar-wielding (hey!) brothers.
2008 seems to be treating these "upstate" (not really) New York boys quite well, kicking off a national tour with Son Volt and meeting up with the Drive-By Truckers on the West Coast. Pretty boss considering their First Real Record, Tonight At the Arizona, only came out last year. Tear. I'm rather proud.

No irony allowed, especially on a tour of such length, sheesh:

Apes Keep Evolving with New Tour, Album, and Vocalist

Apes! What can our primate cousins not do? They paint! They colonize
planets and enslave humans! They wear funny outfits! And now Gypsy Eyes Records is releasing their newest LP on February 19, 2008!

Okay, so maybe the Apes responsible for Ghost Games are slightly
different, inasmuch that they're actually humans. But that certainly
shouldn't diminish our wonder and excitement in any way. This is the
band's fourth release and the first without former vocalist Paul Weil,
who left the band back in 2005 to start a family. Now fronted by
visual artist/new vocalist Breck Brunson, Apes have recently shared
the stage with Klaxons, The Slits, Deerhunter, DMBQ, Spankrock, and
Liars.

This winter they're gearing up for a series of East Coast tourdates, with a South By Southwest performance and West Coast dates expected.

* Sole

** These Are Powers, Ex Models, and Mixel Pixel

*** Sole, Telephone Jim Jesus

DEBUT FLIGHT OF CONCHORDS ALBUM COMES OUT ON APRIL 22. THE HBO COMEDY DUO WILL BE RELEASING IT ON SUB POP. THIS HEADLINE CONTAINS ALL THE INFORMATION YOU NEED, SO DON’T EVEN BOTHER READING THE NEWS STORY BECAUSE IT’S REALLY JUST AN EXCERPT FROM MY MYSPACE BLOG.

So, it's Thursday and I didn't have any class today. I woke up around 11 AM, and my girlfriend and I had a bowl of Lucky Charms. I love Lucky Charms because those marshmallows just become so puffy and tasty when you add milk to them. I only drink skim milk because I don't want to be fat. Plus, it's better for you or something. Anyway, I just got back from lunch -- it was tasty. I had a club sub and some macaroni and cheese. Now I'm in my community room watching my roommate speed-run through Super Mario World.

Bowser is so evil. His little cute smiley face spinny hovering bowl is pretty cool though, and you just know that Peach is in there givin' him a blow j. I so wish I was Bowser right about now.

Kick his ass Mario! Yeah!

I have swing dancing class later on, and I think we're going to order pizza before that, so that should be cool, and I'm pretty stoked because Donatos has good cookies and dessert pizza.

I love college and life. Yay!

Oh yeah! I have new pix up so PIC COMMENT for PIC COMMENT!

Bye!

Man Man Tour, No Girls Allowed

Attention loyal lady TMTers:

Is it just me, or has your sex kinda... dropped the ball lately??

No, no, no! Put that down! Just, just hear me out, okay?! Sheesh...

Anyway, what I mean is, when's the last time you really took a stand and struck a blow for women's rights? When's the last time you've welled up with a passion for change, looked male tyranny straight in the monocled-eye, and shouted "I am woman, hear me roar"?? When's the last time you really listened to Meredith Brooks' "Bitch"???

Well, ladies, break out the picket signs and Kate Chopin, because now's your chance.

See, there's this certain social club, a dirty, vile little group that consists of -- get THIS -- all male members! And, by all accounts, they stubbornly refuse to let any women join in the eerily masculine, cult-like noise-making rituals in which I am told they participate almost nightly, as they spread their gospel of segregation and tyranny around different parts of the United States.

This "band," as the sexist menace cleverly refers to itself, audaciously calls itself Man Man, presumably in order to rub your delicate, feminine noses in the fact that these mysterious perverts revel in their archaic male-exclusivity.

Oh, and also get THIS: they hail from none other than the male-centric City of Philadelphia, a.k.a. "the city of brotherly love!" Coincidence? I HIGHLY doubt it! Who do these woman-supplicating crackpots think they’re fooling, am I right?

I said, AM I RIGHT?!?

But, oh, it gets worse, ladies! This Man Man group has been known to jet set around the country, playing all manner of shows in nothing but boxer shorts and t-shirts, as if to say "We have a new record coming out April 8 called Rabbit Habbits! It’s our debut on Anti- Records, home of such decidedly monosyllabic male artists as Tom Waits and Nick Cave! And there's nothing you can do about it, bitches!"

The bastards! And that is why I encourage each and every one of you to get out there to the following headlining tourdates and, amid the pulverisingly gleeful Klezmer din that is a Man Man show, dance the dance of protest!

Er, I’d go myself and join in the picketing, ladies, but there’s no Chicago date. Uh, but don’t you worry your pretty face about it; I’ll be at home rooting for you with every ounce of my body... my inherently biologically superior male body.

British Sea Power Asks: “Do You Like Rock Music? How About Live Rock Music?”

A story in three parts...

I.

It was a typical boring day at my job. I was ignoring the office work I was supposed to be doing, opting instead to peruse through the latest music news online. I clicked onto a website and noticed the words “British Sea Power” and “Tour” together in the same sentence. Gasp, could it be true?!?!?

II.

Before I could glance upon the desired tourdates to see if my city had made the cut, a voice boomed behind me. With a cry, I jumped up in my chair, startled at the interruption. I fumbled, desperately trying to close my internet browser in time, worried that whoever had come up behind me would see that I was not doing work and browsing the internet instead.

III.

“Anna,” the voice repeated. I swiveled quickly around, expecting to see my boss or at least a fellow co-worker. Instead, Yan, the singer/guitarist of British Sea Power stared down at me. “Do you like rock music?” I nervously swallowed and quickly nodded. “Do you like live rock music?” I nodded again. “Then buy our new album, Do You Like Rock Music? and go see us on tour!” Yan said, his British accent echoing in my cubicle. He watched my confused expression and spoke again, “I know what you’re thinking, Anna, and yes, your city made the cut.” “But how did you know I live in Chicago?” I asked him. “We’re all in it, and we close our eyes,” Yan mystically said, quoting lyrics from his band’s own new album. And with his words still hanging in the air, he walked away.

Do You Like Rock Music? (TMT Review) came out this past Tuesday in the UK and will be released February 12 in the U.S. via Rough Trade/World’s Fair.

We’re All In It:

George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars to go to Chico State and reenact that scene from PCU when The Pit throws that house party and George Clinton shows up and plays that huge concert for all the drunk college co-eds, making the world right again.

The savior of stoned college students worldwide, I have to shake my head at the number of hipsters who have never jived to the purity of such George Clinton staples as Electric Spanking of Warbabies, Hardcore Jollies, Testing Positive 4 The Funk, and Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow. There's no feigning ignorance here. Those album titles are stellar, and if you're one who makes albums with stellar titles your business, P Funk should be your P Diddy.

George Clinton and the P Funk All Stars (a veritable army of funk), have been touring for something like five years now, fueled by a drug diet that would put Hunter S. Thompson and The Grateful Dead combined to shame. But no cause for embarrassment -- I understand. At Georgie's golden age of 66, it's hard to stay funky past midnight without a little *sniff sniff* help. That said, the All Stars are geared up and ready to go 24/7/365, and your $70 ticket (which split 30 ways between everyone in the band really doesn't add up to much) helps them to keep going and going and going.

Get down with your bad self:

Daniel Johnston Sets U.S. Tour, Plans New Releases for the Future

With the idea of being signed to a label becoming more about access to distribution and marketing and less a necessary step in fame, it's nice to see artists like Daniel Johnston and his family doing fine ‘n’ dandy by essentially self-releasing tunes on his own label, Eternal Yip Eye Music. With the exception of Fun, his only release on (possibly evil) major label Atlantic, Johnston had by the end of 2007 reacquired the masters for all of his music, including those released on Gammon, Shimmy Disc, and Trikont. Could this mean a reissue of 1990 or even Don't Be Scared (TMT Review) on vinyl? MAYBE!

Johnston plans to add even more to his already hefty discography -- not just in the coming months, but in the coming years. Dude's got foresight, that's for sure. Having recently reissued Hi, How Are You and Yip/Jump Music on vinyl, Johnston will finally release Lost and Found February in the U.S. (it was previously only available in the UK). According to Johnston's publicist, there are also "several completed albums which will be released over the next few years," including one major work in which Johnston will collaborate with "several major producers and artists." Originally intended for release this year, the new album is now slated for release early 2009.

Meanwhile, Daniel Johnston is set to hit the road in February, presumably in time for the U.S. release of Lost and Found. Live appearances are never wholly predictable for Johnston, so you should take advantage (TMT Live Review)! You can bet your sweet smellhole I'll be at one of these shows.

Go to Johnston's official site or the Rejected Unknown fansite for more information.

Photo: [Tim Broddin]