11-hot hot heat sucks!!!!
Dates in semi-tmt format:
Fish is breain food!! and im' a shitface fuckass. sure!! shitfaced dickprick ass munch. you're a cokc is bigger than my head! and your balls sag low. and they wobble to and fro. you can tie them in a knot and tie them in a bow. and you can throw them over your sould like a a continenaltal shoulder! your balls hang low.
Pirate Bay to Sue the A55 Off Major Media Companies; TMT “A55” Headline Jokes Just As Funny Second Time Around
In a brief blog post over the weekend, the popular BitTorrent tracker The Pirate Bay announced its intentions to file lawsuits against several major media companies in its home country of Sweden. The suits were prompted after analysis of leaked e-mails (which, for those of you without BitTorrent, can be handily browsed on this website) from the digital bowels of Media Defender showed not only that the company had knowingly fucked up your computer, but that it was also funded by major media companies to do so.
Here's the official post from the (as of now offline) Pirate Bay blog in its entirety (via the Suprbay blog):
Thanks to the email-leakage from MediaDefender-Defenders we now have proof of the things we've been suspecting for a long time; the big record and movie labels are paying professional hackers, saboteurs and ddosers to destroy our trackers.
While browsing through the email we identified the companies that are also active in Sweden and we have tonight reported these incidents to the police. The charges are infrastructural sabotage, denial of service attacks, hacking and spamming, all of these on a commercial level.
The companies that are being reported are the following:
* Twentieth Century Fox, Sweden AB
* Emi Music Sweden AB
* Universal Music Group Sweden AB
* Universal Pictures Nordic AB
* Paramount Home Entertainment (Sweden) AB
* Atari Nordic AB
* Activision Nordic Filial Till Activision (Uk) Ltd
* Ubisoft Sweden AB
* Sony Bmg Music Entertainment (Sweden) AB
* Sony Pictures Home Entertainment Nordic AB
A victory in this lawsuit would be interesting on several fronts, not least of which because it would be a forceful slap in the face to hypocritical, pseudo-legitimate corporations such as Media Defender, who consistently put under-the-table profits ahead of the general population, the law, etc. Theoretically, The Pirate Bay should handily win this lawsuit, seeing as how they're not the ones who have committed anything illegal, though only time and a lengthy, expensive court battle will tell how this will play out.
Authentic Akron/Family memorabilia for sale!!! PayPal/Money orders only. Check my Ebay store for more details!
So, I took the weekend off to go visit the green country up north. While staying in Toronto, I noticed one of my abso favo bands Akron/Family was doing a gig. I checked them out and was pretty psyched. After the show, I was thinking I should stay around and try and score an autograph, but then I saw their van and realized bigger things awaited me.
They were still getting rubdowns or toweling off inside, so no one was about. I sweet talked Greg Davis (touring buddy of Akron/Family) into letting me pretend to drive the van. He even let me honk the horn(!). Then he said he had to go back inside to find some chicks or something. I was all, like, whatever and went about looking around in the van for some cool souvenir. That's when my eyes fell on a dark Deering Siera Banjo with a hard case and pick-up! I handled it with the fragility of a newborn baby. But I wasn't satisfied. That is, until I uncovered a Reverend 6-String (olive green, semi-hollow) in a TKL Case, a sunburst Fender Jaguar Baritone 6-string, and finally (!) a MiniDisc recorder in a grey bag.
I thought about the morality of my actions for only a brief second, because just as I was unloading the last of my bounty, some chode from Megafaun was approaching me. I muttered some nonsense and made it back to my car unaffected.
So, what I'm saying is: I have a lot of sweet gear that you should buy because it was at one time owned by the great Akron/Family.
Okay, sorry. I'm lying. At least sort of. I, Petya Romanov, did not steal that stuff, but unfortunately some lousy person actually did. As reported by Pitchfork, all the equipment I mentioned above were lifted from the vans of Akron/Family, Megafaun, and Greg Davis after their show in Toronto. Yeah, I know, it's pretty lame to steal from such nice guys (maybe even more lame to pretend to have stolen from them for the interest of a cheap article on TMT). But seriously, if you have any info call (715) 864-1972 or e-mail either Akron/Family or Megafaun.
Tour-wise, the fam still seems to be a go-go.
# The Dodos
@ Megafaun and Greg Davis
Somewhere around 11:30 PM, Man Man decided it was time for a trip out of the house. I mean, at first it was just about a glass of water. Downstairs, flicking on only the necessary lights as to not cause a stir. But sipping from the icy cup, Man Man’s mind wandered, other options seemed more and more appealing. The car, just waiting in the humid, cluttered garage, beckoned.
But Man Man was tired after a day spent on the set of Showtime series Weeds (which airs October 1). Playing the theme song on set made for an exhausting day. The lunch was catered, but still... and as Man Man’s stomach rumbled with the day’s veggie-avocado sandwich and cold tap water, the decision was made.
Almost automatically Man Man started packing the car -- guitar, piano, amps --- creeping on only the innermost part of the staircase to minimize squeaks. From back, someone clattered a tambourine.
“Shh. You don’t want to wake up Mom and Dad.”
It was hard work, but eventually the wagon got full and Man Man piled into the old tan Buick. Backing out of the driveway in neutral and only starting the car once safely down the street, Man Man was off:
* Celebration and Pissed Jeans
^ Grizzly Bear
& Ted Leo
$ The Extraordinaries
# Modest Mouse
Sweet and sour popsters Shout Out Louds are one of few bands that have lately seen a rise in profile after leaving (being dropped by, whatever) a major label. The Swedish group's U.S. major label LP Howl Howl Gaff Gaff (a foreign version of the album plus a few singles added on) was released by Capitol Records in 2005. Sure, a major label can do amazing things for a band -- like get them included on some truly culture-rattling soundtracks like Music from the OC: Mix 5 (Warner Bros.) and Music from the Television Series One Tree Hill - Volume II: Friends with Benefit (Maverick) -- but, ultimately, any band with their indie pop-wits about them would rather be on a label owned by some Superchunker with labelmates like The Arcade Fire. This alliance appears to be paying off, as the band has just released Out Ill Wills on Merge Records, to much/some acclaim and excitement.
The next logical step for the Shout Out Louds would be a U.S. tour to promote the LP, and that is exactly what will happen. The band has previously supported shows with The Strokes, The Dears, The Essex Green, and a slew of others, but this time they are headlining, with support from fellow Swedes Johnossi and LA band Nico Vega. The month-long trek starts October 6 in Los Angeles at the Detour Festival.
@ Bloc Party, Justice Kinky, Autolux, Comedians of Comedy & more
* Johnossi, Nico Vega
David Bowie, Bun B, Mos Def and Thousands More Protest In The Name Of The Jena 6, But Where’s Everyone Else?
The new "collaboration" between David Bowie and legendary rap artists like Bun B of UGK and Mos Def isn't the latest mash-up or genre crossover. In a bout of activism, the rappers forfeited their rapping for a day last Friday to participate in a large-scale protest in Jena, Louisiana in the name of six black teenagers charged with beating a white schoolmate late last year. Out of the six cases, to which Bowie donated $10,000, only one of the defendants has been tried, with his convictions then overturned on the basis that the defendant, Mychal Bell, 16, should not have been tried as an adult. He remains incarcerated.
The outrage, though, does not come on the heels of a simple schoolyard tussle. It is instead a reaction to a series of racially charged happenings in the tiny Southern town. In the summer of 2006, after two of the so-called Jena 6 asked their principle for permission to sit under the "white tree" in front of the school, three nooses were found hanging from the very tree. Understandably heightening with racial tension, a school building was then the target of an unsolved arson. The events came to a head, though, after a black student, Robert Bailey Jr. was attacked by white students. In retaliation, white student Justin Barker, allegedly bragging about the events, was beaten by a group of black students. Six teens were arrested, and all but the youngest, a 14 year old, were charged as adults. (MTV has an excellent story with a more detailed recap.)
Since then, outrage has grown in response to the harsh, seemingly bigoted charges, culminating in Friday's protest. With the community and its leaders banding together, many traveled from miles away to participate in the day's events, including Reverend Jesse Jackson, Martin Luther King III, and Al Sharpton, as well as the aforementioned Mos Def and Bun B.
Noticeably absent, though, were some of the biggest names not only in hip-hop, but music as a whole. Signing over a big check is certainly admirable, but Bowie's missing appearance is like a deadbeat dad sending a $20 lodged in a birthday card once a year. The donation is of course appreciated, but imagine the increased solidarity and media attention if he were there. And where was Kanye West? If he can sell 957,000 records in one week, he could have surely rallied more supporters for The Jena 6.
As Mos Def was quoted: "Shame on everybody who's not here. I'm fuckin' mad. I'm disappointed to always be coming to these things and it's only one or two people... If you ain't gonna use your voice, then be quiet... I'm disappointed and ashamed."
Rolling Stones Earn Biggest Bucks; You to Channel Frustration Over The Way Things Are Into a Sudsy Revolution
THE FORBES RICHEST MUSICIANS LIST:
Oh hey, revolutionary-reader-baby! Oh, wow, you smell fresh today. Like clean laundry, roses, and sunshine. Is Mom keeping bars of Dove in your undie drawer this season? Can you just hold on for two shakes of a lamb's tail, reader baby? I'm a little busy fashioning this battering ram.
Here's the deal, my soon-to-be fist-raising revolter. Recently, Forbes reported The Rolling Stones the richest band of the year, with profit margins from June 2006 to 2007 hitting $88 million. And apparently, their tour “Bigger Bang” earned a cool $437 million since 2005 -- the most cha-ching-bling-blingin’ tour in history.*
Which should say to you, oh independent-minded, soap-smelling beautifully free TMT reader, IT IS TIME TO FIGHT THE MAN. The Stones have been on top for too long, wearing monocles and lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills while scoffing at inner city school children, puppies, and homeless toddlers.
The time is now, baby. This is the moment our purpose is realized. I’m talking full-scale Robin Hood shit. Pulling the filthy bandana out from under Keithy’s sweaty-Stoner head. He’ll be crying puddles of eyeliner, and we’ll be spitting on his shirtless chest, riding into the sunset with bags of money on horseback to pursue truth.
Think of what $88 million could do for indie music. Like:
(1) Clear skin.
(2) Good hair.
(3) ...Sweet jams, and enough Dove soap for all indies great and small, reader baby. Maybe even Irish Spring. Or Safeguard. Axe body wash for ladies men. Lots and lots and lots of soap. And bubble baths. And Cuban cigars to smoke while in bubble baths.
I smell justice, and it is as sweet smelling as you, reader baby. Let’s share the wealth, shower the indies we love with $$$ love.
* Second only in attendance to any traveling Bill Cosby lecture
DISCLAIMER: The "interview" below is completely false. Shame on you for thinking Houck could be a porn freak!
Here are five reasons why you should see Phosphorescent on tour:
1. Phosphorescent is releasing his new album, Pride, October 23 on Dead Oceans.
2. Akron/Family is fucking awesome -- as is their new album, Love Is Simple (TMT Review) -- and they're touring with Phosphorescent in Europe.
3. "A Picture Of Our Torn Up Praise" (MP3)
4. Phosphorescent, a.k.a. Matthew Houck, likes to reminisce about the days of past when porn was harder to come by. "Porn is everywhere now -- one click of the mouse and you're transported to sites and sites chock full of porn. It's just too easy. People don't have to work hard for it anymore." Sadly, Houck didn't have it so easy in his childhood. "Back when I was a young little boy, I had to travel miles to my friend's house just to [see some] porn. His dad always hid them in the same place -- stacked high up in the bathroom cabinet underneath some towels. We'd have to get a fucking chair from the kitchen just to reach it. I'd like to see these new generations work so hard for porn."
5. Look at the never-ending floss coming from the dude's chest!
Pete Doherty and Shane MacGowan: New Roomies; To Get Wasted, Doherty To Always Lose House Key, MacGowan To Get Pissed, Label All His Food “SM” In Individualized Tupperware Containers and Intentionally Fail to Replace Toilet Paper Out Of Pointed Spite
A snapshot of every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day of every single week of every single month (etc. etc. etc.) that the recent Pete Doherty and Shane MacGowan roomie-a-go-go loveshacking lasts:
PD: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POUR ME ANOTHER SHOT, BRO!!!!!!!
SM: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... wooooo...
PD: POWER HOUR!!!!!!
SM: Woooooo... wooo... woo.
PD: Let’s jam!
SM: Eh, yea. Woo... woo...
PD: LIVING TOGETHER IS AWESOME. I’M TOTALLY LEARNING, TO LIKE, LIVE. LIFE IS LIKE, SO ALIVE, DUDE. SHOTTTTTIIEEE!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
SM: [Drunk vomiting]... wooo... woo.
It's hot in Chicago. I don't want to sweat anymore. I want it to get cold, really bone-chilling cold. Chicago cold. Snow, whipping down then swirling up because of how treacherous the wind is blowing, making the tallest and third-tallest building in the city sway HARD to scare the warm tourists in the observation towers never to return a thousand or so feet to the ground, because if the weather is this bad so close to heaven, just imagine how bad it would be with the clash of the warm front billowing up from hell.
The tourists would have to stay up there for days. Maybe weeks. When Chicago gets cold, it does for a while. Surrounded by the gray of winter, turned slightly blue because of the tint on the safety glass, the tourists would squint and hope to see the welcoming, warm orange glow of the streetlights below. And on days when the snow is pelting the windows a little less, they might steal a glimpse to get them through the next day, if for no other reason than as a reminder that, no matter what the season, we always long for its inverse. But these tourists have made a home there. What would they do in that box, that motionless glass elevator stuck on the top floor of nowhere?
I imagine they'd read the news. Men from the ground, mutant men evolved to withstand the intense steam heat from hell's core, would load the day's news onto supply carts. After the power would go out and when the tourists would become frightened (though glad to be safe in the sky), some would eventually overcome fear and language barriers to learn to work together, pulling up the carts through the unused elevator shaft. Keep them content for now, the mutants would say; eventually winter will end, because as we all know, heat rises.
The tourists, well-informed and well-fed from below, will miss the finer things in life from before this brutal winter. Their dogs, their bike riding, their human contact, because life in the sky is not as friendly as one might think, even with company. So, they'll squint again, this time across the air to their friends in the other tall building. The tourists will feel most palpably that people are always friendlier when there is some distance between them, on the ground and up high. Two glass elevators, stuck together in the blue-gray, swaying, waiting to heat up and dry out.
It's quiet up there, and the news is good, but it will get lonely. Even with a second box floating somewhere, boredom will set in. Being informed isn't enough. The tourists will want something the mutants can't send up an elevator shaft. The tourists will want art. They'll want something to give them a new understanding of themselves and the information they keep receiving. They'll want to laugh and cry and know what sardonic and poignant material was possible from humans, because that's what they'll miss most of all. During this interlude of leaderless confusion, wondering which move is the right one, a man will be born fully grown. Vic Chesnutt, named after nothing in particular, will play music he learned from an inspired bird that hid in a ceiling panel, afraid to fly south in case an event such as this occurred. Vic Chesnutt will lead the tourists himself. He'll lead them with the feeling they had been missing.
So, the tourists will go down. One by one, lowered down the elevator shaft. The mutants will scatter because they would attack on their own terms, when spirits are broken and people can't feel. But they can feel, and when they get down to the very bottom, they'll feel the heat of winter most vividly. They'll feel it as sardonic and poignant and several other things that, had they just trusted the power of human creation, art, and architecture, they might've avoided this whole ordeal in the first place.