Q: How Can I Ween My 15-Month-Old Baby Off Breastfeeding?

A: However you choose to Ween, you should do so gradually, for both of your sakes. Try eliminating one feeding for a few days, then another, replacing it with random Ween albums, like White Pepper or last year's La Cucaracha, released on Rounder Records. Which feeding should you eliminate? Look for the one that your baby has the least interest in. For most, this is the middle of the day when there is much going on to serve as distractions. Remember, you can still nurse in the mornings and evenings, even if you work full-time, so if you eliminate the midday feedings first, it will be the least invasive on your routines.

Ween slowly and gradually. And, like, if you want someone to watch you Ween your baby, I can come over tonight.

Read All About Ponytail’s Upcoming Tour Here, Because Their MySpace Page Will Make You Barf

It doesn’t get any better at Ponytail's official site. I am so dizzy; everything looks so... Baltimore (I get to say that because I’m from there.) I don’t know what to click. There are GIFs of soccer balls, pictures of palm trees, and a desktop screen capture (although the partial view of the iTunes library suggests someone was rockin’ out to Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours. I can get behind that.)

Ponytail are hitting the road with Joan of Arc in July, Don Caballero for most of August, and spending September bouncing from show to festival in Europe. Not too shabby. Their publicist has also hinted at “soon-to-be-revealed tours planned for ’09 with two Best New Music bands...” I hope it’s Weezy.

Ponytail’s newest release Ice Cream Spiritual (TMT Review) is out on WE*ARE*FREE now.

U.S. tourdates:

Memorial Stone of Joy Division Frontman Ian Curtis Stolen

Top three reasons why it is a bad idea to rip off Ian Curtis' memorial stone from the Macclesfield Cemetery:

1. Stealing stuff from deceased persons is wrong, and they may have ghost buddies who will haunt you.
2. There is no way that attempting to sell it on eBay does not violate the website's terms and conditions.
3. It is really mean.

In spring 1980, Mr. Curtis, the frontman for seminal Manchester band Joy Division, hanged himself at the age of 23. The past few years have seen a resurgence in all things Joy Division-related, inspired in part by album reissues, the release of the Anton Corbijn's acclaimed biopic Control (TMT Review), and a documentary released earlier this year, simply titled Joy Division.

According to the BBC, the missing stone -- inscribed with the words "Ian Curtis 18 - 5 - 80" and the song title "Love Will Tear Us Apart" -- was stolen between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning last week. Police are asking anyone with information related to the theft to contact them.

Tony Barker, spokesperson for Macclesfield Borough Council, asked for the return of the memorial stone, saying that "it would usually have flowers behind it and mementoes to Ian Curtis's life. [...] Someone's gone to a great deal of trouble to remove the memorial stone, and I hope our appeal will help return it as soon as possible."

Memorial Stone of Joy Division Frontman Ian Curtis Stolen

Top three reasons why it is a bad idea to rip off Ian Curtis' memorial stone from the Macclesfield Cemetery:

1. Stealing stuff from deceased persons is wrong, and they may have ghost buddies who will haunt you.
2. There is no way that attempting to sell it on eBay does not violate the website's terms and conditions.
3. It is really mean.

In spring 1980, Mr. Curtis, the frontman for seminal Manchester band Joy Division, hanged himself at the age of 23. The past few years have seen a resurgence in all things Joy Division-related, inspired in part by album reissues, the release of the Anton Corbijn's acclaimed biopic Control (TMT Review), and a documentary released earlier this year, simply titled Joy Division.

According to the BBC, the missing stone -- inscribed with the words "Ian Curtis 18 - 5 - 80" and the song title "Love Will Tear Us Apart" -- was stolen between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning last week. Police are asking anyone with information related to the theft to contact them.

Tony Barker, spokesperson for Macclesfield Borough Council, asked for the return of the memorial stone, saying that "it would usually have flowers behind it and mementoes to Ian Curtis's life. [...] Someone's gone to a great deal of trouble to remove the memorial stone, and I hope our appeal will help return it as soon as possible."

Sub Pop to Relaunch Singles Club; Dr. Phil Cites 7-inches A Healthy Cure for Loneliness

Two decades ago, a label called Sub Pop burst out of Seattle’s moist vagina, bearing frankincense, myrrh, and a chalice full of gravely throated rockers making tunes fresh for the pressing. Young Sub Pop put out many choice cuts by Nirvana, Mudhoney, Sonic Youth, and others as part of its monthly Singles Club. This veritable Club Cool satisfied the wanton urges of nerdy nose-breathing record collectors for five years, until it dropped off the charts in ’93 as mysteriously as the Beaumont Children. In 1995, the Singles Club came back to life and back to reality with new releases from The Jesus & Mary Chain, Modest Mouse, and other fab Northwest Sounders, but met what seemed to be its permanent demise in 2002.

Never you fear, Luddites with disposable income; just like Fawkes the phoenix, this antiquated technology shall rise again. Sub Pop’s calling a temporary end to the club’s lengthy sabbatical and releasing salacious singles on the monthly for an entire calendar year. The goodies are tempting; subscribers can expect 7-inches featuring Unnatural Helpers, Tyvek, Black Mountain, Black Lips, Arthur & Yu, Mika Miko, Blues Control, Notwist, and more. It all kicks off August 15 with twin tracks from Om, but only 1,500 copies will be pressed per mensem. So quick like a bunny, point your clicker here to secure a spot.

And in case you’ve been too busy Swiffering your mint copy of “Big Cheese” to check out the world around you, the Singles Club isn’t the only self-indulgent gimmick Sub Pop’s tossing around to celebrate its emergence from the terrible teens. SP20 Festival, the label’s big b-day bash, features comedy acts, Sub Pop stable performances, and specially brewed Loser Pale Ale, made with love by Elysian Brewery just for the lucky celebrants/ ticket holders. Get more info here.

SP20 Festival:

I Release that Kevin Barnes Has Released Information About the New of Montreal LP

After somehow sleeping on this announcement for almost a month, I am prepared to spill the beans: Kevin Barnes has posted information about the new of Montreal album on his MySpace blog. He’s titled the album Skeletal Lamping and claims it will be released in October.

In his post, Barnes goes into detail about how the new album will be “unpredictable and, at times, startling, yet always hummable and catchy.” Given the sound of his last couple of records, I sincerely can’t tell whether or not that means Barnes has been rocking his stylistic boat. In any case, come October (or probably earlier when it inevitably leaks) the record-listening public can look forward to something that is “in turns enraging, joyous, discomforting, playful, lovely, unpleasant, freaky, mesmeric... something that came close to capturing the labyrinthine complexity of this human consciousness.” I didn’t know “mesmeric” was a word until just now. Thank you, Kevin Barnes.

RIP: Noel Sayre, The Black Swans Violinist

UPDATE (07/08): The memorial and donation information can be found here.

An excerpt from an announcement by Jerry DeCicca of The Black Swans:

I have some very sad news to share.

Noel Sayre, my friend and bandmate for 13 years, died early in the morning of July 3rd due to a swimming accident in Portsmouth, Ohio on Tuesday July 1st.

He entered the hospital in a coma and never came out of it, his heart eventually slowing down. In the I.C.U., we listened to Rachmaninoff and Clive Palmer, two of Noel's favorites. He spent his time in the hospital with his close friends and girlfriend, Kristy, who played a big part in his happiness during the last year.

- Official website
- MySpace
- Jerry DeCicca's full announcement
- "Violinist Noel Sayre dies at 37" (The Columbus Dispatch)

The Sea and Cake Set Date For New Album, Car Alarm; 15-point, JokerMan Font with a Minimum of 938 Pages

In conjunction with the forthcoming, seventh full-length from The Sea and Cake, Car Alarm, we will be giving away the unnecessary car alarm that came with my old 1996 Suzuki Sidekick.

To enter make sure that you meet the following requirements:

- You must be Mexican, illegally living in the United States. (Send picture)
- You must look like Sam Prekop in all physical aspects. (Send picture)
- You must be familiar with everything that The Sea and Cake has ever done, including every mundane detail in each band member's personal life. Put this in essay form, with an annotated bibliography. (Use 15-point, JokerMan font with a minimum of 938 pages.)
- You must be a descendant of Jesus Christ, with scientific proof.
- You must be prepared in an interview to present a Lincoln-Douglas debate over Sea vs. Cake: Which is better?
- You must be a 16-year-old female. (Send picture)

When you are finished send all of your credit card information here.

Car Alarm will be released October 21 on Thrill Jockey.

Car Alarm tracklisting:

[Photo: Megan Holmes]

I Had Sex with Nada Surf Before the Tour

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Oh my god," I thought. "Nada Surf is here." After 12 years of not seeing each other, my very first crush is now standing outside of my hotel room. I look at the door and try to settle the butterflies that have suddenly appeared. I know what is going to happen, but still I haven’t seen Surf for over a decade, and the last I heard was that Surf released an album called Lucky earlier this year on Barsuk. So, of course, I am nervous.

I turn down the TV and get off the bed where I was sitting and walk over to the door. I look out the peephole and see Nada Surf standing there in the hall, casually dressed in a tight blouse and jeans, hair pulled back. I open the door and we gaze at each other for a second.

"Hi," I say.

"Hello."

"Come on in," I say, opening the door and motioning for Surf to enter. Surf smiles and walks by as I catch a whiff of perfume. I close my eyes while it fills my nose with a beautiful aroma. This is finally the night I've been waiting for, the night that will truly be one for the books.

"Can I take a look at your bedroom?" Surf asks.

Suddenly, blood romantically rushes down to my junk, and I'm ready to bone till the break of dawn.

Boy George Cancels Tour, Ticketholders Forced to Stay Home and Shoot up While Listening to Culture Club Tracks on Their Microsoft Zunes

Alas, youthful fans of acid house who understand the significance of Boy George! Since denied a U.S. visa, Boy George recently announced the cancellation of his North American tour this summer.

The tour included an initial performance on The Today Show and a concert for the NY Department of Sanitation Workers at their Family Day in August. (Re: That time The Boy was in trouble with The Law for drugs and had garbage duty.)

The moral of the story? Sanitation workers: Rather than wait for rescheduled dates coming in winter... 2009, grab some tix to BG’s South American tour in September or in Great Britain this October.

The deep-seated moral of the story? The United States ruins everything. Federally-funded Zunes for all!