Insane Clown Posse Neatly ‘Linked’ to Murder; TMT Writer Ghost-Pens Diary of a Juggalo, Tops NYT Best-Seller List
“Look, I may be a Juggalo, ho, but that don’t make me a muh-fuh’n thugalo, yo. This one’s for my juggalettes, lettin’ ’em know y’all.”
For those of you who don’t READ EVERY PIECE OF INTERNET NEWS EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME, 24 HOURS A DAY EXCLUDING SHABBAS, you might have missed a story about Insane Clown Posse in The Rocky Mountain News. Apparently, Crimes Are Being Committed. By People. That Listen. To Insane Clown Posse. You heard it here first folks, I--... oh wait, The Rocky Mountain News beat us to this salty sack of a news story, that’s right. Hmmmmm [drumming fingers on tabletop]... Well, since it’s been reported in a newspaper, it’s gotta be true, right? I’ll just trust my instincts on this one and print the straight facts (word to ya muzzah): People have committed murders in Detroit, Arkansas, and Florida.
And, since murders were never committed in Arkansas, Detroit, and Florida before Insane Clown Posse came along (particularly not the latter two), the group have been linked to their fair share of crimes as of late. And I can see why! You can pretty much bet they’re inciting kids to perpetrate violent crimes with their albums, currently put out by the fledgling, taken-seriously WWF Diamond Cutter label. Their fans reportedly call themselves ‘Juggalos’ and ‘Juggalettes,’ and do dastardly things like design their MySpace pages with ICP pics (lol!) and, as mentioned, listen to Insane Clown Posse’s music, often while plotting to kill humans. Strangely, the percentage of ICP listeners that actually commit crimes is statistically low. And, now that I think about it, aren’t Insane Clown Posse like a total joke now? When’s the last time anyone over 8 or 9 years old bought an ICP record? Aren’t people listening to more refined, role-model types like 50 Cent and fuckin’ C Murder these days? Are 50 Cent and C Murder arbitrarily linked to murders perpetrated by people who listen to their music? Are things in this country going to get all fucking stupid again, like with that whole Ozzy deal? Everywhere I go I hear a far-right nutcase yodeling....
Officers refuse to say whether the offenders were actually listening to ICP when they committed the crimes in question, but several of the band’s releases were found in roof-flap CD sleeves, travel cases, and even in a rogue Discman. All copies were taken into custody. Well, that probably happened. I mean, they ARE the law, right? They must have found discs, t-shirts, and posters upon searching cars and stuff. What are these kids going to do, deny that they did, in fact, at one time listen to Insane Clown Posse? They’re guilty! GUILTY. GUILLLLLTEEEEEEEE. I say jail them for the murders, EXECUTE them for their listening habits. I think we’ll all agree it’s tough but fair (ICP haven’t been good since Riddle Box anyway).
One man implicated in a murder had an ICP tattoo on his hand. Another kid in Colorado described himself as a Circus-Boy Dingleberry With Man-Boobs and a Toy Hatchet (or something like that) on MySpace. Both were known Insane Clown Posse fans, and both were linked to grizzly killings (but not with a real grizzly; that might actually be, well, not ‘cool,’ but maybe, you know...). A cop also claimed that Colorado-area police “know Insane Clown Posse gangs exist.” Ooh! There are also other pieces of evidence, but they’re just as, like, totally damning as all of the stuff above, and I honestly think I’ve already made and proven my case anyway: Some bands tour. Some bands record. Others? They incite murder. Insane Clown Posse, likely through their importance in the long-term musical stratosphere, are one of those bands.
‘Hendrix Electric Vodka’ Brand Sued By Hendrix Family; Memorial Shotgun In Shape Of Kurt Cobain’s Head Given The OK
No offense to any already-offended readers and/or members of Jimi Hendrix's family, but the main topic on my mind right now is Risk -- not the concept, but the board game. I was soundly defeated in this game of global domination not one hour ago, and the number of friends I now have has dropped from two to one: you, dear reader. What does my trouncing in this game have to do with the late guitar genius? Well, switch around the letters in Risk and you get Kisr, which is similar to Kisser, which is where Jimi Hendrix's family would like to punch the marketing department that thought up 'Hendrix Electric Vodka' and its psychedelic flavor.
Janie Hendrix, Jimi's adopted sister, called the brand "a sick joke" due to Hendrix's alcohol-related death in 1970, though Craig Dieffenbach, the businessman behind the product, is certain the lawsuit will fail because of a 2005 federal court case ruling that the Hendrix family owns the rights to neither his name nor image -- only his music. Dieffenbach also believes the proceedings will be much less hostile if everyone partakes in a few pre-trial shots of Jimi.
The vodka bottles in question are tinted purple and have Hendrix's face and signature on the label, presumably (and this is mere speculation) so that the drinker feels cordially invited to an electric ladyland of inebriation.
Let's see, there's The Police, The Jesus & Mary Chain, Van Halen, Bad Brains, Dinosaur Jr., Lifetime, Genesis (the really lame trio version, not the kinda lame Peter Gabriel version), The Dismemberment Plan, Rage Against the Machine, Crowded House, Sebadoh, The Toadies, Smashing Pumpkins, Slint, The Pogues, Smoking Popes, The Stooges, Lemonheads, Meat Puppets, and, of course, R.E.M. covering John Lennon with Bill Berry behind the kit.
Tell Winona and Janeane that their gas station favs Squeeze can now be added to that list of recently reunited rock acts. So far, the band's songwriters Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford are the only members named as taking part in the reunion, which will be the first time they have played together since 1998. They must have been "Tempted" by all the money they would stand to rake in. No? What about: I guess they will be having their "Black Coffee" on tour. Worse, you say? How's this: Another reunion "F or My Heart," this sure will be "Cool For" fans, huh? If someone asked me to go to one of these shows, I would say "Take Me, I'm Yours." Getting me to go would be easier then "Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)." Seriously, that is "No Myth." Oops, that last one is Michael Penn. I apologize for all that, I have a tendency to "Babylon & On." Anyway, the dates only include the U.K. right now, as Universal & Warner will be reissuing the band's music in Britain later this year. The possibility of the band taking the show to any other countries has yet to be confirmed.
The Nation Is Cleaning Up Radio with Eight “Rules of Engagement”: Does Elvis Costello Know About This?
Those of you who have not given up on radio entirely will be happy to read one of the music industry's more pleasant surprises of 2007: The American Association of Independent Music (A2IM) has united with Entercom, CBS Radio, Citadel, and Clear Channel to create eight voluntary "Rules of Engagement," which in theory will help cut down on scandals of the payola variety, as well as securing more airtime for independent music to be played.
Wait... independent music? As in music "not owned and controlled by a major label, and [whose] market share is not reported by a major label"? According to A2IM's Peter Gordon, as stated in an interview with FMQB, that's exactly what it means. As part of the arrangement, independent music will occupy 8,400 half-hour blocks (a 30% marketshare) to be played between 6 A.M. and midnight. Does this mean you should expect to hear your local top-40 station playing Jandek tunes between traffic and weather updates during your morning commute? Not exactly, though that would be disquietingly awesome. The new regulations will ensure that independent and local artists from all genres, including hip-hop, country, rock, and others, are represented on their respective stations.
Other facets of the agreement include stipulations that "Radio should not be allowed to sell or barter access to its music programmers," that "Radio should not exclude independent promotion companies, as a class, from gaining access to music programmers except for independent promotion companies which are compensated based upon playlist additions," and that "Radio shall not ask for or expect, either directly or indirectly, any quid pro quo to play music." Theoretically, new regulations such as these will create a level playing field on which non-major labels will be able to compete. At this point you might be asking yourself: "Wait, we have to spell this shit out? You mean these haven't been regulations all along?" To which I would say: "Brah, now is not the time." Other rules include disclosure of promotional giveaway recipients by stations and ensuring that stations are properly publicizing procedures for music submissions.
The simple fact that Clear Channel would agree to these rules without a court order instinctively makes this reporter wary of the whole arrangement, yet on the surface, things certainly appear win-win. After all, the arrangement has received enthusiastic support from numerous organizations such as the Future of Music Coalition, The National Academy of Arts & Sciences, and others. To be sure, only time will tell whether or not these new regulations will truly make a significant impact on the musical world; but hey, it's a step in the right direction.
Jonathan Poneman, co-founder of Seattle's Sub Pop, home of... -- oh, you know -- has juuuuuust announced the launch of his lovely shiny new record label, Hardly Art. Despite being distributed by Sub Pop and Warner's ADA and being based in the same building as his old label, Hardly Art is a completely separate and independent entity. So what makes this one so different, Johnny-Boy? Why don't we go check the press release...
"Building on the tradition of many other record labels, Hardly Art will indeed be focused on offering quality records for people to enjoy."
...Uh-huh. Some, uh, inspiring words there, guys. Real good stuff. Records for people to enjoy? I guess I could get into that.
But what would a record label be without records? Being a seasoned professional, Poneman isn't about to fall into that trap and has an album all ready to go, from local cage fighters and artists Arthur and Yu. Their debut, In Camera, is lined up to be released June 19 and promises to be chock full of all the fuzzy poppy druggy Velvet Undergroundy pop that ze kidz are all into nowadays. Should be worth a pop.
Stunningly, In Camera promises to be divided into ten shorter sections, called "songs" or "tracks." Each of these "tracks" has been given its own title. Now, you probably think this is all a little confusing. But helpfully, Arthur and Yu provided a "list" of the "tracks" -- what they are calling a "tracklisting" -- which we are replicating in full below:
Hello. Nunpuncher here. Now, you might not know this about me, but one of my many interests (aside from ten-pin bowling, medium-distance running, and putting crisp packets into the oven so they shrink and make really cool keyrings) is the art of dedicatory literature -- or, as so many call it with barely-concealed scorn, "fan-fiction."
My work has not gone uncelebrated in certain circles -- The Newsom Cycle, in which the harpist is seduced by a beguiling young man with a mysterious past from northern England, was much cherished by those in the community, described as "a soaring epic" by SeXiBoi99 and "without parallel" by xJoannaxLoverx. I am not afraid to court controversy -- alt.spektor.yes.yes.yes was in uproar for weeks after Regina In Love almost paired the singer with Dave Berman, of all people (before she was seduced by a beguiling young man with a mysterious past from northern England).
Without further ado, I would like to present to you a short extract from my latest work, entitled Cat Power Goes Wild In Europe. The full story, weighing in at 253 pages, will be available soon at www.sexycatpowerfantasy.com.
Cat Power Goes Wild In Europe (extract)
Chan Marshall sat in her studio, tired and slightly sweaty from the New York Summer. "Oh, Boy, I'm tired (and slightly sweaty)," she said, flicking her fringe from her slightly sweaty forehead. "Working on the follow-up to The Greatest is much harder work than I thought. I'm stuck!"
Her thoughts drifted back to that summer, that wonderful summer two years ago with that beguiling young man with a mysterious past, who taught her so much about the art of love. She thought of his lips. Without thinking, her fingers moved down her slightly sweaty body to her
[snip - Ed.]
"Ah, that's much better," Chan said. "The memory of the beguiling young man with a mysterious past has inspired me!" She picked up a guitar and wrote a really good song and called it Nunpuncher, because that was the name of the young man (with the mysterious past).
Just then, there was a knock on the door. She answered, and on the other side of it was a mysterious young man. "Delivery for -- Chan?!" he said, his blue-green eyes blazing with the memory of that summer two years ago (because he was Nunpuncher). Chan fell into his arms. "Oh, Nunpuncher!" she said, falling into his arms. "I was just remembering that wonderful summer we shared two years ago, before you went away to cure diseases and fight crime in Africa!" Without thinking, they
[snip - Ed.]
Later on, wrapped in silk sheets, their slightly sweaty bodies engtangled, Nunpuncher asked what plans Chan had.
"I'm touring Europe, with the Dirty Delta Blues Band," she said. "Here are the dates:"
Then they had sex for like ten hours.
According to Billboard, Rhymesayers Entertainment, the Minneapolis-based hip-hop label that's released albums by Atmosphere, MF Doom, Eyedea & Abilities, Soul Position, and many more, has inked a deal with Warner Music Group's Independent Label Group. Ditching distributor Navarre Corp., Rhymesayers will now have its catalog distributed by Alternative Distribution Alliance (ADA), WMG's "indie" distributor.
"If we have someone who wants to be on a major label, we can, in fact, do that," said co-founder Brent "Siddiq" Sayers to Billboard. "But if we have someone, like Atmosphere, who does not want to do that, we can keep doing what we're doing and bring in some select [promotional/marketing] services."
It shouldn't come as a surprise that the independent label has hooked up with a major for distribution. Nearly all the indie mainstays have major label distribution deals. Other labels that have distribution deals with ADA include Matador, Merge, Secretly Canadian, Touch and Go, Thrill Jockey, Sub Pop, Barsuk, and Domino. Other indie distros include Caroline (EMI), RED (Sony), and Fontana (Universal).
Majors count sales of indie titles through their distribution companies as part of the company's overall sales, which is why some indies argue that majors don't quite own as large a pie of overall music consumption as they make it seem. If you can figure out the logistics of erecting a good, profitable way for indies to get widespread distribution without a major music group's support, you should e-mail me the details so I can get rich off it.
Whenever I go through extended bouts of downheartedness, I simply reach over to the last-minute stocking stuffer my mom bought me last Christmas: an inspirational quote-a-day desktop calendar. But it rarely changes my mood. "I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside." True. I never have a problem keeping my insides a burning cesspool of self-loathing and crippling depression. "There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem." Not true. I am worried I will have to read more of these, so I solve this by tossing this useless calendar in the trash.
Nah, words on a 5'x4' piece of paper accompanied by a poorly drawn cartoon just do not do the trick like music does. For months on end, I shunned the words of people like Twain, Thoreau, and "Author Unknown" in favor of daily doses of uplifting lyrics and music by Misters Alex and Tom White, who go by the cleverer moniker The Electric Soft Parade, to soothe my forever-broken spirit. It did the trick until I wore out my copies of Holes in the Wall and The American Adventure. Last summer's stop-gap EP, The Human Body, was certainly a wonderful surprise -- none other than our own Grant Purdum loved it, so you know it must be good! It quelled my loneliness for a brief period, but left me wanting more.
On April 24, my days of dread will once again slip away because Better Looking Records will release a new Electric Soft Parade album. You can check out Tom White's guide to the album here, but by the title alone, No Need to Be Downhearted, I know the band is once again singing directly to me! Be gone blues!
No Need to Be Downhearted about the lack of a tracklisting, because here is one:
1. No Need to Be Downhearted (Part One)
2. Life in the Backseat
3. Woken by a Kiss
4. If That's the Case, Then I Don't Know
5. Shore Song
8 Cold World
9. Have You Ever Felt Like It's Too Late?
10. Come Back Inside
11. Appropriate Ending
12. No Need to Be Downhearted (Part 2)
The Whites, with Matthew Twaites on bass and ex-Dodgy drummer Mathew Priest on, um, drums, are using their time away from their "other projects" (Tom and Alex are also in The Brakes) to hit the ESP route hard when they play the U.S. and the UK during the next two months. Included below are their FOUR SXSW shows, with times, so you can plan your Austin sight-seeing and sound-hearing trip. AAA's got nothing on us
03.15.07 - Austin, TX - Moonshine (4:45 P.M., Windswept/Hunnypot party)
03.16.07 - Austin, TX - Guero's (4:30 P.M., Congress party)
03.16.07 - Austin, TX - Maggie Mae's (1:00 A.M.*, Better Looking/East-West showcase)
03.17.07 - Austin, TX - Cedar Street Courtyard (9:30 P.M., Filter/Lifebeat showcase)
03.19.07 - San Diego, CA - Casbah #
03.21.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland $
03.28.07 - London, England - Shepherd's Bush Empire %
03.29.07 - London, England - The Fly
04.18.07 - Stoke, England - The Sugarmill
04.19.07 - Newcastle, England - Digital
04.20.05 - Dundee, Scotland - Westport Bar
04.21.07 - Aberdeen, Scotland - Lemon Tree
04.23.07 - Glasgow, Scotland - Oran Mor
04.24.07 - Sheffield, England - The Plug
04.25.07 - Manchester, England - Roadhouse
04.26.07 - Hull, England - The Welly
04.27.07 - Leeds, England - Cockpit
04.28.07 - Bristol, England - Thekla Social
04.29.07 - Southampton, England - Joiners
04.30.07 - London, England - King's College
08.03.07 - Rees-Haldern, Germany - Haldern Pop Festival
* 1:00 A.M.? Shouldn't this be listed as March 17? No? Ok.
# Goldrush and Ryan Ferguson
% Billy Mackenzie tribute/Sound Seekers benefit show with Apollo 440, B.E.F. (British Electric Foundation, Claudia Brücken & Andrew Poppy, Mower, and Subterraneans (featuring Paul Haig and Christine Beveridge)
- Yeh is also collaborating with New Humans as part of an exhibit called "Disassociate."
- Anyway, the tour will consist of Burning Star Core in its solo incarnation, along with Carlos Giffoni and Prurient.
- Interesting and captivating? That's for you to find out.
- And another tour is called "CMN Free Noise," which will feature Evan Parker, John Wiese, Tim Barnes, Yellow Swans, Metalux, John Edwards, and Culver.
- Yeah man, Keith Fullerton Whitman!
- Dude, fuck you and your McRib.
- Zaimph is the solo project of Marcia Bassett of Double Leopards, Hototogisu, GHQ, and more.
- And you can bet it'll be fun!
- Let us pause for a moment of science.
- The first is called "Paradise Lost Forever."
- Eagles of Hair Metal consists of Alan Licht, Mike Berstein, Greg Kelley (nmperign), Keith Fullerton Whitman, and Tamio Shiraishi.
- Here are the tourdates:
- Besides, it's not my fault that the wire was down there!
- They have labels too, of course: No Fun Productions and Hospital Productions, respectively.
- For example: an actual tourist will never be as "real" a tourist as the local resident who dresses the part.
- Burning Star Core is a project, not a pseudonym.
- C. Spencer Yeh is going on tour in various configurations: as C.S. Yeh Duo and Burning Star Core, which also ranges from solo to other configurations.
- Haha, can you believe that?! How absurdly cheesy.
- But let's be clear here.
- I vote he change the name to "Burnin' Star-Core."
- He's even booked a couple of joint tours with some heavyweights working in so-called "noise."
- But yeah, I hope [?Jean Baudrillard] rests in peace. What a thinker.
- Of course, Yeh will also be at No Fun Fest this year, collaborating with Zaimph.
- There are no dates scheduled in the U.S. for this particular tour, though. Which sucks!
03.09.07 - Brooklyn, NY - Glasslands Gallery @
03.10.07 - Manhattan, NY - Elizabeth Dee Gallery %
03.16.07 - Austin, TX - Spiro's (SXSW No Quarter/Holy Mountain showcase)
03.17.07 - Austin, TX - Spiro's (SXSW No Quarter/Holy Mountain showcase)
03.23.07 - New York, NY - Tonic with Eagles of Hair Metal, Thurston Moore #
03.24.07 - Baltimore, MD - The Bank with Spore #
03.25.07 - Boston, MA - PA's Lounge with Heathen Shame, KFW #
03.26.07 - Purchase, NY - SUNY Purchase with Lunch w Beardo #
03.27.07 - Montreal, QUE - Casa Del Popolo with Hototogisu, Dreamcatcher, etc #
03.29.07 - Toronto, ONT - TBA with Gastric Female Reflex, Knurl #
03.31.07 - Chicago, IL - The Flowershop with Bloodyminded #
04.01.07 - Columbus, OH - Skylab with Lambsbread, Leslie Keffer #
04.19.07 - Cincinnati, OH - Skull Lab as CSY with Z'EV,
04.28.07 - Edinburgh, Scotland - Bongo Club &
04.29.07 - Glasgow, Scotland - Triptych Festival, CCA &
04.30.07 - Cardiff, Wales - The Point &
05.01.07 - Gateshead, England - The Stage &
05.02.07 - Leeds, England - The Wardrobe &
05.03.07 - Bristol, England - The Wardrobe &
05.05.07 - London, England - ULU &
05.11.07 - Cologne, Germany - Kulturbunker Muelheim EV
05.12.07 - Karlsruhe, Germany - ZKM Karlsruhe
05.17.07 - New York, NY - Tonic - BxC+Zaimph collaboration at No Fun Fest 2007
# Paradise Lost Forever tour: BxC (solo) + Carlos Giffoni + Prurient
& CMN Free Noise tour: Evan Parker, John Wiese, Tim Barnes, Yellow Swans, Metalux, John Edwards, and Culver
@ Okkyung Lee + C.S.Yeh Duo, Black Quarter (Maya Miller of Double Leopards/Religious Knives), Nate Wooley, Violent Raid (MV Carbon)
% New Humans + CSY as part of New Humans' "Disassociate" exhibit
Upcoming or Recently Released Music Worth Mentioning
C. S. Yeh Solo Violin 1-10 LP on Tone Filth
Burning Star Core Blood Lightning 2007" CD on No Fun Productions
Burning Star Core Operator Dead... Post Abandoned CD on No Quarter
Aaron Dilloway + C.S. Yeh The Squid on Hanson
Physical Culture LP reissue on Chondritic Sound
Burning Star Core Inside The Shadow CD on Hospital Productions
Now here's something you don't hear of everyday -- artists receiving an actual increase in royalty revenues. The Copyright Royalty Board announced it will be increasing royalties paid to musicians and labels for material played by internet broadcasters via online radio stations. Currently, the royalty for a song play is 0.08 of a cent per play (yep, we're talking about heaps of money earned). The increase could potentially see this rate double in less than three years.
Perhaps this is good news for the artists, but this could be an outlandish tax to impose on internet radio stations, particularly those whose revenue is not based on advertising, such as various NPR stations or independents such as SomaFM or Radio Paradise. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, KCRW GM Ruth Seymour claimed that this could end up putting their station in a position where they would owe more than $350,000 for this year and last year's royalties.
Now, couldn't we just make everything fair for everybody and take all of the moneys raised by the various RIAA lawsuits and aid the stations to play the music, the artists to cut the records, and maybe even give some money to children who will die in Africa from preventable diseases? Wait, nevermind; I must have been drinking. I need a new BMW; let's just leave it the way it is and let those pesky little internet radio stations die, let the artists stay nice and skinny because they don't have money to buy food, and go out on the town for a nice evening of dinner and dancing.