Akimbo Prep for Fall Tour and New Album, Jersey Shores, Eagerly Await Discovery Channel’s Shark Week

The woman next to you at the coffeeshop where you use the internet is giving someone on the phone advice using self-help speak. What do you do? Listen to Akimbo. You're at the coffeeshop because you've been looking for several months and still can't find a job, and now you're totally ragin'. What do you do? Why, listen to Akimbo! You're supposed to write a story for a music zine, but it's already late in the week and you haven't done anything. What do you -- oh come on, it's obvious. You write a story about Akimbo.

Clearly, the Seattle hardcore group is appropriate for every occasion. Which means their upcoming tour couldn't come at a better time! They've been around for ten years now, consistently bringing rough and raucous live shows to a venue near you. With five albums on Alternative Tentacles and Seventh Rule under their collective belt, Akimbo is planning to release their latest, Jersey Shores, September 23 on Neurot Recordings. For those of you who are really pumped for the Discovery Channel's upcoming Shark Week, get ready: Jersey Shores is a concept album about a series of vicious shark attacks that terrorized the Jersey coast in 1916. A better and more terrifying end to summer, I cannot imagine.

* Witchcraft (Music Fest North West)

** Iota, Gaza

*** When Dinos Ruled the Earth, The High Cost of Living

***** Cable, Angels Of Meth (members of 27), Eastern Bloodhounds, and Libyans

******Panache Booking CMJ Showcase w/ DMBQ, Monotonix, The Mae Shi, AIDS Wolf, Yip Yip The Homosexuals, Sole, Shellshag, Fiasco, Aa, and more

******* Sweet Cobra, Millions

Headlights, Your Mission – If You Choose To Accept It – Is To Schedule A Tour Without Playing Your Home State Of Illinois. Do You Accept?

Since Headlights formed in 2004, they’ve played the state of Illinois approximately 52 times (according to my research, that is). Granted, they're from Champaign, IL, so it makes sense they would play their home state a fair amount. But still, guys, isn’t it time you cut the cord a bit? Unfortunately, if you notice the tourdates below, you’ll see that Headlights didn’t take me up on my Mission Impossible-themed offer in the headline to tour without playing Illinois. Oh well, there’s always next tour, I suppose.

In the meantime, this news story will self destruct in 3... 2... 1...

! French Kicks

$ Maritime

% Neko Case, Bob Mould

^ Asobi Seksu, The M’s

# Robert Pollard, WHY?

Sony BMG Disbands, Old White Guys Push More Money Around Than You’ll Ever See In Your Life With Giant Rakes

In the wake of the announcement that it lost almost $50 million last year, Sony BMG has officially disbanded. Sony purchased BMG's stake in the venture for $900 million and threw in an additional $300 million of the money that the conglomerate had lying around.

The new music company, dubbed Sony Music Entertainment Inc, is entirely owned by Sony and involves labels such as Arista, Columbia, Epic, Jive and RCA. Upshot: The Bertelsmann group gets over a billion dollars and Sony retains a giant chunk of the increasingly unprofitable music industry.

BMG CEO and apparent PR robot Hartmut Ostrowski had this to say: "The move is consistent with our new growth strategy and will enable us to focus on our defined growth areas. Sony has been an excellent partner, and they are the right company to take this business to the next step and ensure that it realizes its full value and potential."

Good to see Hartmut living the dream. Go for it, man! Focus on those defined growth areas!

Iggy Pop and The Stooges’ Gear Stolen

Crime: Stolen musical equipment, mojo, face

Victims: Iggy Pop, The Stooges, Mike Watt, and the fans

Date of Crime: August 4, 2008, between 6:30 - 7:30 AM

Location: Embassy Suites Hotel - Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Description: "All equipment was in a rented Penske 15 foot yellow truck with U.S. (Michigan) license plate number AC46493."

Website: Stooges Stuff Stolen on August 4, 2008 in Montreal, Quebec

Stolen Gear:

- Red Gibson 1963 EB-3 bass (Mike Watt's bass!!)
- Reverend Flying V guitar - Volcano black USA #08001
- Reverend Orange guitar USA 03416 ZSL7
- Gibson red SG short scale bass
- Gretsch Silver Sparkle Catalina drum kit (26" Kick Drum, 13" Rack Tom, 18" Floor Tom, 4x Cymbal Stands, 1x Snare Stand, 1x Hi Hat Stand, 1x Drum Throne)
- Green clamshell suitcase containing Yamaha snare drum, Yahama kick pedal, Zildjian Mega Bell cymbal, Zildjian 15" Hi-Hats, 3x Zildjian 18" 19" 20" crash medium cymbals
- assorted replacement drum heads

- Marshall Vintage/Modern Amplifier UK M-2007-07-0926-2 RoHS
- Marshall Vintage/Modern Amplifier UK M-2007-07-0927-2 RoHS
- 4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #1 Slant:
- 4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #2 Straight:
- 4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #3 Slant:
- 4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #4 Straight:
- Eden D810 Bass cabinet USA D810RP4 0703E5001
- Eden D810 Bass cabinet USA D810RP4 0703E5002
- Eden VT300 Bass amplifier USA 0601E5115
- Eden VT300 Bass amplifier USA 0507E5033

- Orange Calzone road case containing guitar pedal board and pedals, assorted leads, 2x mic stands, strings and spares + 2x Boss TU2 Chromatic Tuner, Boss CH1 Super Chorus, Fulltone OCD Overdrive, Crybaby Wah, Peterson Strobo-Stomp Tuner Pedal, Whirlwind A/B Boxes, Whirlwind Cable Tester, and many many istrument cables, various tools (screwdrivers, soldering iron, pliers, etc.), tambourine, and maracas

- two floor fans from China


Go to this website for pictures and descriptions. Then help Iggy and The Stooges find their gear, especially the floor fans! Some might argue that they're already going through the motions on this tour -- can you imagine them going through the motions without actual instruments? BORING!

Tourdates up in the air:

People Under The Stairs to Release a BBQ and Beer-Drinking LP this September, Tour

For you hip-hop fans already sick of hearing "A Milli" and "Got Money" at every house party you have been to in the past month (or, for that matter, everywhere you go), the underground hip-hop duo People Under The Stairs is releasing a new album, Fun DMC, this September. Described as "a party record, filled with the sounds of afternoon BBQs and curb-side beer drinking," I'm conjuring images not of PUTS, but of Nelly's video for "Country Grammar" -- but who am I to jump to conclusions?

While an official release date has yet to be announced, PUTS fans be wary if you find a leaked version of Fun DMC before the release date -- the two leaked a fake version of their last release, Stepbrothers, a few months before the actual release.

The duo, made up of Thes Ones and Double K, are also hitting the road to promote the new CD. So for those underground-hip-hop-scensters-- get your tickets soon.

Tourdates (all dates with Flobots):

West Coast dates to follow in September.

Sunn-der the Table and Dreaming: Sunn O))) Plan Anniversary Shows, Dave Matthews Plans to Keep Being Shitty

With the 10th anniversary of their debut recording The Grimmrobe Demos (TMT Review) coming up, Sunn O))) have scheduled four shows for this fall to commemorate its release.

These special anniversary dates will consist entirely of material from that album and will be performed by Stephen O’Malley and Greg Anderson, returning to the duo that started the whole deal in the first place. The band describes the philosophy behind it as an “approach respecting a concept of shoshin, the beginner's mind, the yet undyed pure wool, the clarity in initiation upon the untraveled...” Judging by this quote, it’s hard to tell if they intend to merely recreate the sound of The Grimmrobe Demos or remake it. Either way, this is awesome. Considering how reliant Sunn O))) has been on collaboration over the last several years, not to mention the increasing complexity of their work, it will be interesting to see how they approach this old material.

Experimental artist Tony Conrad will be supplying the ambience at the NY show.

Anniversary dates:
10.10.08 - Los Angeles, CA - Safari Sam’s #
10.12.08 - Portland, OR - Berbatis’ Pan
10.15.08 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory $
10.16.08 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church

# John Weise

$ Thou

David Byrne’s “Songs of David Byrne and Brian Eno” World Tour Announced

Normally, I’d needlessly slap a non-sequitur at the end of the headline there, but I can’t seem to think of anything appropriate for someone I respect and admire as much as David Byrne. So here are the straight facts:

Beginning this September, Byrne will embark on a six-month world tour called “Songs of David Byrne and Brian Eno.” He intends the live show to “try to draw a line linking this new material with what we did 30 years ago,” so this will include songs from Talking Heads albums produced by Eno (More Songs About Buildings and Food, Fear of Music, and Remain In Light), their 1981 collaboration album My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, and their soon-to-be-released (and self-released) new collaboration Everything That Happens Will Happen Today (TMT News).

Everythingthathappens.com has been hosting a free download of "Strange Overtones" to preview the album since yesterday. The entire record will be available there exclusively on August 18 as a digital download, along with physical copies for mail order, with a choice of enhanced CD and a deluxe package featuring artwork by Stefan Sagmeister.

Other current projects from Byrne include music for the second season of Big Love, a show on HBO, and Playing the Building, an interactive installation presented by Creative Time, which is on view at the Battery Maritime Building in New York City through August 24. He is also working on a studio album called Here Lies Love, a song cycle collaboration with Fatboy Slim about the life of former first lady of the Philippines Imelda Marcos. The work previously played arts festivals in 2006 and at Carnegie Hall in 2007. Cyndi Lauper has contributed vocals.

“Songs of David Byrne and Brian Eno” Tourdates:

Ladyhawk Tour, Hawk Merch to Ladies

Yes, just ladies. No one else. Sorry to everyone else along the spectrum of gender.

Being that it's touring season for Jagjaguwar, there are probably many other bands you could go see that would fall into the category of "awesome," not unlike Ladyhawk. No? You're dead set on this? And you re-heally want a t-shirt, despite your beard? Fine. Here's the deal: Ladyhawk's lust for the road stays dirty and deep as they push on into Europe, starting off with the ZXZW Festival in the Netherlands. (Those are my people and all, but ZXZW is either an awwwfully familiar festival name or those stoners fell asleep on the keyboard again.) Hey, Ladyhawk, nice job of starting the tour on my birthday, two weeks AFTER I come back to the states from, ironically enough, the Netherlands! Oh well, I'm starting to get the idea that bands don't make tour schedules based on my personal life.

Enough about me. If you trust Carrie Brownstein's taste, there's a good chance you won't be disappointed with a setlist relying on the new album, Shots (TMT Review), which she spins daily. Here, try it.... give "S.T.H.D." a spin. Then I suggest a quick trip to the drugstore for some Passion Red lipstick. The $1 brand, of course. You can wash it off as soon as you've got a t-shirt.

Speaking Dutch would help, too:

The Residents Release The Bunny Boy on Unsuspecting Populace, Tour on Unsuspecting Populace

As the days get shorter, nights get cooler, and leaves get browner and crispier, it seems only natural that we as humans begin searching for less bangin' and more weird, occasionally creepy new releases to listen to when we are sitting around trying to think of ways to freak out our roommates. Thankfully, just in time for this seasonal change, The Residents are releasing an album entitled The Bunny Boy! Wow! Even the title makes me feel slightly unnerved! (Suggestion: do not Google Image Search the phrase "bunny boy" at work. It's nothing horrible -- just kinda weird.)

Available September 2 from Santa Dog Records, The Bunny Boy promises to deliver 19 tracks based around themes of "obsession, insanity, and the coming Apocalypse" -- just in time for election season! But that's not all -- there's also talk of an impending world tour and something described as a "narrative internet series," which hopefully will have less of a "furry" angle than a quick Google Image Search would suggest.

The Bunny Boy tourdates:

Thank God for Sweatshop Labor: NIKE Brings Built to Spill, Britt Daniel, Ratatat to Musicfest NW

Nothing says “I love you” like a diamond, just as nothing says “independent music” like NIKE Sportswear.

Seems that this September the bearers of the Swoosh will sponsor a part of Willamette Week’s Musicfest NW, a four-day festival that’ll be spread throughout various clubs in Portland, OR (TMT News). The lineup’s both overwhelming and impressive; highlights include Grammy Award-winner Sir Mix-A-Lot, TV On The Radio, and local trio Menomena (plus Menomena’s Danny Seim performing solo as Lackthereof).

NIKE brings a pretty good plate to the potluck, too; No Age, Battles, Britt Daniel, Ratatat, and Les Savy Fav will all play at The Wonder Ballroom, NIKE’s official venue during Musicfest NW. And as a special treat, Built to Spill will play the entirety of Perfect From Now On, a little warm-up for their other high-profile fall festival performances.

Though I’d hardly consider NIKE the patron sneaker of rock ‘n’ roll, the best part of this corporate sponsorship is the price: all of Nike’s shows at Musicfest NW will be free. Six big name shows without dropping a dollar? Long live sweatshop labor!