Found Magazine Tour 2007; Bishop Choking, Carrot Chafing, and Filming Dead Birds

When it comes to curing writer's block, I've tried everything: reading those who inspire me, writing in the voice of other writers, doing extensive free-writes, drinking to the point of incapacitation, searching my soul, screaming, crying, sleeping, etc.

On this dark and gloomy day, my assignment was to review the Found Magazine 2007 tour. I walked aimlessly around campus, the fog hanging low, my Styrofoam cup of coffee long since cold. Crisp leaves and paper cups danced along the cement in the wind, like in that desperately sappy scene from American Beauty. Among the debris, a piece of paper looking worse for ware fell dormant at my feet, and I recalled some parting words from the Found Magazine show by founder Davy Rothbard:

I hope the rest of you will be inspired to take that one second to pick something up when you see it laying there, to see if it's something interesting... Cause notes like these move and effect me so much that they make me want to pick up every piece of paper I see floating down the street or blowing down the alleyway...

So, I reached to pick it up.

Is "ironic" the word that I'm looking for? Perhaps "serendipitous." I'm not sure -- I still have writer's block -- but regardless, what I found in my hands was a blessing from the deadline gods: The rough and barely legible (yet excusably usable) notes of the very event I was meant to review.

Behold the found, god-sent rubbish (click to enlarge):

11.03.07 – San Diego, CA – Cream 8 pm
11.04.07 – Los Angeles, CA – Skylight Books 7 pm
11.05.07 – Long Beach, CA – Open, 2226 E. 4th St, 8 pm
11.06.07 – Los Angeles, CA – Hammer Museum 7 pm
11.07.07 – Los Angeles, CA – Largo 8:30 pm
11.08.07 – Tucson, AZ – Main Library 12 noon
11.08.07 – Tucson, AZ – Club Congress 7 pm
11.09.07 – Albuquerque, NM – Guild Cinema 8 pm
11.10.07 – Tulsa, OK – Coffee House on Cherry Street 8 pm
11.12.07 – Kansas City, MO – Screenland 8 pm*
11.13.07 – St. Louis, MO – Mad Art Gallery 8 pm*
11.14.07 – Lexington, KY – ArtsPlace 8 pm*
11.15.07 – Indianapolis, IN – Big Car Gallery (2 shows! 7 pm & 9 pm)*
11.16.07 – Ann Arbor, MI – Michigan Theater 8 pm*
11.17.07 – Pittsburgh, PA – Future Tenant (2 shows! 7 pm & 9 pm)*
11.18.07 – Columbus, OH – Chop Chop Gallery (2 shows! 6 pm & 8 pm)*
11.27.07 – Pontiac, MI – Clutch Cargo's 8 pm
11.28.07 – Grand Rapids, MI – (details TBA)
11.29. 07 – Charleston, WV – The Empy Glass 8 pm
11.30.07 – Asheville, NC – The Grey Eagle 8 pm*
12.01.07 – Durham, NC – Manbites Dog Theater (2 shows! 7 pm & 9 pm)*
12.02.07 – Richmond, CA – Firehouse Theater (2 shows! 7 pm & 9 pm)*
12.03.07 – Atlanta, GA – Push Push Theater (2 shows! 7 pm & 9 pm)*
12.04.07 – Birmingham, AL – Workplay 8 pm*
12.05.07 – New Orleans, LA – (details TBA)*
12.07.07 – Houston, TX – Aurora Picture Show 8 pm
12.08.07 – Nacogdoches, TX – Millard's Crossing 7 pm
12.09.07 – Austin, TX – Alamo Drafthouse (time TBA)
12.10.07 – Dallas, TX – The Public Trust 8 pm
12.11.07 – Oklahoma City, OK – Galileo Bar and Grill 8 pm
12.12.07 – Lawrence, KS or Nashville, TN – TBA

* PostSecret

Low Comes to A Land Down Under, Where Women Glow and Men Plunder

Quick — what’s the first thing you envision when I mention the word “Australia”? If you’re anything like me, you’re imagining a land where summer comes in January, where water goes down the sink backwards, and where koalas go snorkeling with Nick Cave before retiring to a local Outback Steakhouse restaurant for a lively barbecue cooked up by friendly dingoes.

It’s true that Australians do enjoy some of these phenomena, but let’s look beyond the stereotypes and funny animals. It’s not just Christmas at the beach and Kylie Minogue for our Aussie friends -- they also appreciate a nice, quiet evening with Duluth, MN slowcore legends Low. The band will cut an icy swath through the sunny cities of Australia, with two special events as part of the Don’t Look Back series of concerts, sponsored by UK indie festival promoters All Tomorrow’s Parties. The Don’t Look Back series presents seminal artists playing landmark albums in their entirety, and Low will be performing their 2001 release Things We Lost in the Fire (TMT Review). This is clearly exciting enough on its own, but just to make things even more incredible, the band’s final performance of its southern hemisphere tour will be held in something called “The Famous Spiegeltent.”

In Australia with Low:
01.11.08 – Melbourne, AU* - East Brunswick Club
01.12.08 – Melbourne, AU - East Brunswick Club
01.14.08 – Fremantle, AU - Fly by Night Club
01.16.08 – Brisbane, AU - The Troubadour
01.17.08 – Sydney, AU - The Famous Spiegeltent at the Sydney Festival
01.18.08 – Sydney, AU - The Famous Spiegeltent at the Sydney Festival
01.19.08 – Sydney, AU* - The Famous Spiegeltent at the Sydney Festival

* Performing Things We Lost in the Fire

Jimmy Page’s Finger Postpones An English Rock Band’s Reunion Concert… Awww, Awww, You Gonna Cry?? Little Baby Gonna Cry??

Sure to go down as one of the funniest moments in rock history, Led Zeppelin's proposed reunion concert has been postponed from November 26 to December 10 because Jimmy Page broke one of his fingers. What, playing basketball? Putting up drywall? OLD AGE? Nope. Rumor has it the little digit broke when Page was trying to teach Jason Bonham (John's son) the drum solo for "Moby Dick" -- specifically, after one moment when Page yelled "Booyakasha!" (SNAP). He was initially taken to the hospital due to the extraordinary amount of tears streaming down his face.

"I am disappointed that we are forced to postpone the concert by two weeks," said Page in a statement. "However, Led Zeppelin have always set very high standards for ourselves, and we feel that this postponement will enable my injury to properly heal, and permit us to perform at the level that both the band and our fans have always been accustomed to. [REALLY SUCKS THAT MY FINGER BROKE, THOUGH]."

The five fingers of human anatomy tracklist:

The Decemberists Cancel “The Long and Short of It” Tour

Apologies are definitely unnecessary. It's unknown which exact Decemberists member is sick, but we're crossing our fingers for that person anyway. Please have a speedy recovery!

Ramones Manager Found Bludgeoned to Death in New York Apartment

Reports are streaming in from multiple sources that claim Linda Stein, former manager of The Ramones, has been found dead in her Fifth Avenue apartment in New York. The city's medical examiner ruled the death a homicide, as Stein was found with multiple contusions to the head and neck. Police are claiming no visible signs of forced entry or break-in, and some of her closest friends are baffled.

Elton John reported to The New York Times that he is "absolutely shocked and upset," while friend (and co-manager) Danny Fields said, "I don't have a lot of friends in their 60s who are hit on the head in their chic apartments. It makes no sense."

Stein is credited with bringing The Ramones to the UK for their breakthrough show, which paved the way for other seminal punk bands such as The Clash and The Sex Pistols. Following her stint with punk artists, she garnered fame as the "Realtor to the Stars," working as a real estate broker for Madonna, Sting, Billy Joel, Angelina Jolie, Steven Spielberg, Bruce Willis, and Michael Douglas. She was 62.

BitTorrent Is The New Flesh; Judge Finally Deciding On How P2Ps Will Filter Content

There's a fantastic Betty Boop cartoon from 1932 called "Minnie the Moocher." It features Cab Calloway singing one of his most memorable songs, "Hi-Dee-Ho." I know, Betty Boop is gross, and I almost can't stand to look at her. There's something about this particular episode, though, something unsettling and oddly unnerving about it; Max Fleischer's cartoon stays with me. This, along with "Betty Boop in Snow White" from 1933, which also features another uniquely smooth yet raucously enjoyable song from Cab Calloway, are perfect shorts to watch for Halloween. In the 1933 cartoon, Calloway sings "The St. James Infirmary Blues," and it is really something to see. Both are fantastic, but "Minnie the Moocher" has a solemness, a darkness that undercuts the whole thing; this isn't your normal cartoon.

In a lot of ways, both are music videos. The plot is almost pointless, or if not pointless, certainly unimportant. The beginning shows an obligatory set up, and when you get through the Betty Boop scenes, you're rewarded with fantastic music and nonsensical and oddly creepy images. Yet even in these more "realistic" parts (a talking gramophone, what!?), Betty Boop is abused, she contemplates killing herself in song, and she writes the saddest, sweetest, most ominous letter I've ever seen in animation:

Dear Ma & Pa-

I'm leaving Home because

you're not so Sweet to me. I

won't ever be Home again.


Poor Betty Boop. "Home Sweet Home" is a nice touch, really, and she's off to meet Bimbo. They run off and it gets dark and they get scared. Ironically, they pick the darkest, largest tree to hide in, and that's when this seven-minute short earns its keep.

If I have my history right, this is an early example of rotoscoping, a technique of drawing or painting over a live action filmed image. So the dancing ghost is Cab Calloway's own patented shuffle, and in some ways, that makes it even more terrifying. The song is performed call-and-response, and when the skeletons at the bar call back, I think I could listen to them all day. The skeletons die -- skeletons die! Their ghosts come back and look up from the bottom of a well like souls lamenting, heaving up the better part of a death rattle.

The response team shifts to ghosts in a jail cell. They walk through the bars, uncomfortably close to the frame, and walk back, but they still need a ghost guard to let them out. And he does, but he leads them to electric chairs and fries them. Ghosts. Who knew Betty Boop was so startlingly creepy? Over all of that, though, is the friendly animation, the sheen of a cartoon for kids, and that is really where the horror is. It's mostly absurd, but with echoing human voices bouncing through this cave, knowing that Betty Boop is still on Earth, with Hi-Dee-Ho swirling around; this is a thrill to see.

My point is: You can watch it. Online. Halloween is over, sure, but that hasn't stopped me. The quality isn't great, but you can find it on BitTorrent and get a great version with better sound. As P2Ps die down, torrents are the future, but that hasn't stopped our court system from being several steps behind everything. They are only now deciding how Kazaa and Grokster will filter out copyrighted content. According to the Wired blog:

On Wednesday, Judge Wilson issued an Order to a court-appointed expert to determine the best combination of the following methods for filtering unauthorized works out of peer-to-peer systems: artist/title information, file hashing, and acoustic fingerprinting. If the expert has better ideas, he's welcome to include those too -- whatever combination works best on the Morpheus network. The arrived-upon method could become a legal precedent applied to other user-driven sites and networks.

In the meantime, torrents are everywhere. Software, music, movies, and whatever else is being digitized. You just need to know where to look, because eventually the courts will be several steps behind these, and you just might not have moved to the next delivery method of awesome Betty Boop cartoons from the 1930s. Watch it!

Canada Charges Retroactive Royalty Fees to Online Music Services Like iTunes

From WTMT News:


Links of interest:
- SOCAN Tariff 22.A PDF
- SOCAN Official Website
- Article

Nirvana Song “Breed” Finally Licensed, Kurt Cobain Rolls Over in His Grave, Dave Grohl Writes a Lame Song About It, Krist Novoselic Does… Nothing

Well, well, well. It’s finally happened. You might want to avert your eyes, purists and Kurt-worshipers. The shaggy, legendary man that you loved for giving the underdog the benefit of the doubt within the heretofore (and here-ever after, some might say) insidiously clueless and utterly tasteless music industry has finally completed his post-death transformation, rising from his singer/songwriter ashes to becoming a pawn of the Man (and much more quickly than Jimmy Page, too).

So if you’re a Kurt-Freak (i.e., do you call him by his first name all the time?), prepare to be slightly humiliated and/or mortified, as Nirvana's "Breed" will officially be the first (oh, but probably not their last) song from their catalog to be used in advertising. And I bet you’ll never even GUESS who’s indirectly responsible!

That’s right: earlier this year, everyone’s favorite widower Courtney Love, who owned the vast majority of the rights to Nirvana's back catalog, up and sold 25% of it to the Primary Wave Music Publishing company for a reported $50 million. Word is she needed... groceries.

Now the fiendishly good-fortuned organization, reportedly one of the most aggressive groups acquiring music publishing rights for licensing (TMT News), and also apparently one of the most tactless, have done-saw fit to sell use of the track "Breed" for an Austrian Telecom ad (hey, Kurt was nothing if not a masterful communicator, right?), the videogame Major League Baseball 2K7 (and we all know how much Cobain advocated professional sports), and of course the upcoming film Shoot ‘Em Up (hmm, I wonder if there’s any shotgun suicides in that movie).

So there you have it. I guess you just can’t beat big business, no matter how many hideous sweaters and Daniel Johnston t-shirts you wore in life. Oh, and in case you were wondering; finance-related website reports that Publishing companies can earn between $10,000 and $300,000 for a song's use in a film and between $5,000 and $40,000 for use on television.

That’s a lot of groceries.

RTX To Tour; Maybe I’ll Make It This Time

Somehow, every time RTX gets within a 50-mile radius of where I am, I'm busy. It's like the cosmos conspiring against me. I mean, how awesome is Jennifer Herrema? She's one of those ladies who seems to do whatever she wants and doesn't come across like a fucking idiot in interviews (TMT Interview). I bet her vocal ripperage is totally awesome live. Hopefully I won't have to go and visit my 90-year-old grandma this time (no diss, 90-year-old grandma).

RTX's latest is Western Xterminator (TMT Review), released on Drag City earlier this year.


Hawks And Hacksaws Set Aside Decades-Long Rivalry, Collaborate For “Winter Animorphs Tour 2007”

Attention campers: are you ready for another glorious day? Well put
your beret on and set up that easel, boys and girls, because this
morning at the Arts & Crafts station you'll be making some
masterpieces! Last year's group made some of the most downright
beautiful things we've ever seen, and I'm sure you're all little
Picassos deep down too! Unfortunately, due to lack of funding (maybe
your parents didn't buy enough brownies at the bake sale?), we won't be
able to provide the glitter or rainbow-colored construction paper. We
also won't have the planks of wood, nor will we have any feathers or

Actually you'll all have to be extra, extra creative this year,
because the only items we were able to get our hands on were [A Hawk
and A Hacksaw->]! Only one of each, so we'll all have to put our minds
together and build something truly special! Ohhh, I can hear you
campers already, saying "What could we possibly make with A Hawk and a
Hacksaw?" Why, we counselors could list a million things! For example:

- Saw hawk in half!

- Saw hawk in quarters!

- Squeeze hawk until it shrieks, bounce sound off hacksaw!

- Appear on BBC 2's Culture Show and perform a live set!

- Pluck hawk feathers, glue onto hacksaw, hold up to mouth like a mustache!

- Glue hacksaw onto hawk's forehead, call it a unicorn (but know that
you're telling a fib)!

- Tour the UK and Ireland during December!

Just remember, kids, to be careful, whatever you all decide to
construct while we go skinny-dipping in the lake.