Thurston Moore Teases Fans With Mini-Tour

Step 1: Announce upcoming solo album several months before its release and unleash incredible excitement and anticipation among fans.

Step 2: Release album to great reviews and critical acclaim.

Step 3: Go on a five date mini-tour... No, wait, what?!

Oh, Thurston, why must you do this to us? You know, your faithful fans who have loved you from the beginning? (Well, not entirely, seeing as I wasn’t exactly born until four years after Sonic Youth formed.) Of all people, Thurston, you should know very well that a full U.S. tour should directly follow the release of one’s album (in your case, last month’s excellent solo effort, Trees Outside The Academy.)

But, no! Instead you throw five measly West Coast dates in our faces and expect us to like it?! Well, I’ll tell you what, Mr. Moore... aww, don’t give me that sadface, no, seriously, I was only joking! Yes, you know I still love you. What’s that, you’ll pay for my plane ticket to see one of your shows? Oh, you’re too much!

All delusional conversations aside, any Thurston Moore news is good news, am I right? Check him out at the following dates:

Xiu Xiu, Islands, Boards of Canada, and Why? Make New 12-Inch Singles, Confusing Syntax

Why?, the Californian indielectronica flip-hop pioneers, are set to release a set of two four-track singles. A 12-inch will be released in Europe and the U.S. November 18 and 19, respectively. Each version is on track to be released with different tracks from the other, each featuring remixes and cover versions of released and unreleased Why? tracks, in addition to the track on the single cover, “The Hollows.” Ahem. The European version of the single was recently released through Tomlab and will feature “Good Friday,” as remixed by Boards of Canada, while the U.S. single release will be found on Anticon of which Why?’s Yoni Wolf is a founding member.

Why? Why?’s double single? Well, the trio will release an 11-song LP on March 11 in the U.S., entitled Alopecia (European release date and LP title explanation yet to be released). The LP will include “The Hollows,” as well as the un-remixed versions of “Good Friday” and “By Torpedo or Crohn’s.”

Prepare for the new release by listening to old, released songs on the Why? MySpace page.

The Hollows (European Version) tracklisting:

A1. The Hollows

A2. Good Friday (Boards of Canada remix)

B1. Yoyo Bye Bye (covered by Dump)

B2. Broken Crow (covered by Islands)

The Hollows (US Version) tracklisting:

A1. The Hollows

A2. By Torpedo or Crohn's (Dntel remix)

B1. Yoyo Bye Bye (covered by Xiu Xiu)

B2. Pre-teen Apocalyptic Film Acting [Medley] (covered by Half-Handed Cloud)

Comcast Is Controlling Your Life, And You Didn’t Even Know It!

It's not like those times you find yourself watching Anthony Bourdain on the travel channel and think "oh, just one more episode," and then suddenly it's two days later. It's more like those times you're trying to share that sweet new Kanye track and you can't. Yeah.

Comcast, the second largest internet company in the country, has been caught totally blocking certain web traffics. Like, well, high-speed subscribers sharing files. What does that spell? Data discrimination, dude. Which totally runs up against ideas of net neutrality. Dude.

The discreet blocking is one of the most gnarly examples of data discrimination by a U.S. internet provider to date, even involving company computers pretending to be users. AND if these tactics were used by all U.S. internet providers, it would totally kill file-sharing networks. Like that.

Comcast's file-sharing blocks are part of a pretty lame way of controlling bandwidth, and it comes in the form of blocking uploads, not downloads. But if nobody is uploading anything, then there's nothing to download, right? Right.

So heres the process:

- go to upload something

- another "user" (a.k.a. Comcast company computer) sends a message to stop communications

- upload stops.

- ta-da!

This could be seen as simply "traffic shaping," which is common, but what Comcast is doing involves overt trickery, only effects one type of traffic (file-sharing), and actually stops uploads, instead of just slowing them down. It's also completely random, so it could in fact be stopping legal OR illegal files. My assessment? Bullshit!

DND Chat Transcript: The iTunion Deearem Freedom Campaign Part Two

GameMaster: As you know from our last campaign, the iTunions freed the EMI Major Labelus songlings from the cursed Deearem, which prevented the songlings from being transferred, burnt, and copied under certain restrictions. This was annoying for the users and has sparked a flame within the capitol.

Indey Labelus: The capitol being the Music Industry?

GameMaster: Correct. Now let me set the scene. Indey, you are at the capitol and you are next in line for the freeing of the dreaded Deearem from your body. You step up to the throne and before you stands Emperor Stevus Jobes. He speaks to you.

Steveus Jobes: By all that is iHoly! It is so exciting to see you before me today! I know that not all of your brethren in iTunia will be joining you, but you represent a large chunk of Indyland, so most of you will be free of Deearem, and I will bless everyone with a ninety-nine centia price tag.

GameMaster: Steveus Jobes casts Deearemfreedomus; he rolls a 17. I need you to roll to absorb the spell.

[Indey Rolls]

[Indey Rolls a 20]

Indey Labelus: Fuck yes!

GameMaster: Dude, don't be lame -- stay in character, no meta-game thinking or speaking! Your character would not say "fuck yes."

Indey Labelus: Least I'm free of Deearem! Oh man, brb -- my mom just came downstairs and told me the pizza is here. I'm gonna go grab a slice.

[Indey Labelus is AFK]

GLOSSARY:

Deearem - DRM, Digital Rights Management. Bullshit pieces of code that
prevent you from fully enjoying music you've legally purchased.

iTunion, iTunia - iTunes

Indey Labelus - Indie Labels

Stevus Jobes - Steve Jobs

GameMaster - Guy who runs Dungeons and Dragons campaigns. Sometimes known as a Dungeon Master.

Songlings - Songs

AFK - Away from keyboard. World of Warcrack players use this a lot.

"By all that is iHoly" - Typical expression when Apple addicts cream
themselves for shit like the iPhone. These same people whip out their
iPhone at every opportune time.

Apostle of Hustle, Hallelujah!

I shifted my weight in the pew, eyes downcast, restless hands folding and unfolding the Sunday bulletin. All around me, aging folk seeking redemption were trying desperately to stay awake. Little boys played with the laces of their dress shoes and teenage girls chewed gum with expressions of uttermost boredom. An old man next to me smiled contently, doing a crossword puzzle he hid between the pages of his hymnal.

My eyes followed the curve of the stained glass window toward the pulpit, when something I'd heard peaked my interest; I listened as the bespectacled priest began to read from a leather bound Bible of foreboding proportion.

"And the Apostle of Hustle shall tour the United States through the months of October and November in the year of our Lord 2007. And with him shall follow those who are honest and good in all that they Do Make Say Think--"

And that's when I offered my soul to the devil in exchange for a pair of tickets and a backstage pass.

* Do Make Say Think

It’s a Mitzvah! Yo La Tengo to Celebrate the Festival of Lights in Grand Style

I have no doubt the boys and girl of Yo La Tengo are cognizant of Judah the Maccabee’s miraculous revolt and victory against the Hellenistic Syrians around 165 B.C.E., and that, when the Temple was rededicated, the one cruse of sacramental oil miraculously burned for eight days. But methinks their decision to celebrate the “lesser” Jewish festival has less of a historical significance vibe to it and more of a gift-giving and pleasure-seeking motive. Yes, for the fifth time in seven years, Hoboken’s dearest will play eight days of shows at Maxwell’s in Hoboken at the beginning of December to celebrate the eight days of Hanukkah. The shows have become as much a holiday tradition as sitting around eating latkes and spinning the dreidel due to the motley nature of the band’s daily sets and the variety of the special guests that participate every night. Exactly who these guests will be this year will remain a mystery until they take to the stage. As the band explains on their website and MySpace page:

As in the past, each show will begin with an opening band, followed by some comedy, and then a Yo La Tengo set. And perhaps more. That’s all we’re going to tell you, so don’t ask who’s playing. We can guarantee that it’ll be great, and that no matter what night you’re there, you’ll wish you had come another night instead. That’s just the way you are; there’s nothing we can do about that.” Past musical and comedy acts have been heavy hitters (for example, 2005’s shows included sets by Tortoise, Sun Ra Arkestra, Half Japanese, Eugene Mirman, Demetri Martin, etc.) so if you don’t want to miss an historic concert just camp out in Maxwell’s dumpster and attend all eight days.

Yo La Tengo’s Hanukkah tenancy runs from the 24th of Kislev (December 4) to the 2nd of Tevet (December 11). Additionally, the band is playing the Manifest Festival in Mexico City this coming weekend, a one-off show in November with Broken Social Scene at Cornell University, and will play on stage with Buckwheat Zydeco on November 7 in New York in celebration of Todd Haynes’ forthcoming Dylan flick I’m Not There. And there’s also the “Freewheeling Yo La Tengo Tour” which continues in Philadelphia tonight. This tour is “a rare opportunity to see this ever-surprising band in a setting more intimate and interactive than any tour in their 23-year career. A little bit Storytellers, a little bit Unplugged, with a soupcon of their famously varied Hanukkah shows, it will feature the band playing an almost-acoustic set of songs from their entire catalog, with stories about their life as a band, and an encouraged back-and-forth with the audience. Already famous for never playing the same show twice, this fresh look at Yo La Tengo offers rare insight into one of the most important, unique, and beloved bands in American rock.

Couldn’t have said it better myself

10.22.07 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church Sanctuary *#
10.23.07 - Alexandria, VA - The Birchmere *#
10.27.07 - Mexico City, Mexico - Manifest Festival
10.29.07 - Portland, OR - The Aladdin Theater *
10.30.07 - Seattle, WA - Town Hall *$
11.01.07 - San Francisco, CA - Palace of Fine Arts *%
11.03.07 - Hollywood, CA - Ivar Theatre *
11.04.07 - La Jolla, CA - Museum of Contemporary Art, Sherwood Auditorium *
11.07.07 - New York, NY - Beacon Theatre (playing with Buckwheat Zydeco) +
11.10.07 - North Adams, MA - MASS MoCA, Hunter Center *
11.11.07 - Ithaca, NY - Cornell University, Barton Hall ^
11.15.07 - Boston, MA - Museum of Fine Arts (2 shows, 6:30 & 9:30) *
12.04-11.07 Hoboken, NJ - Maxwell’s

* “The Freewheeling Yo La Tengo Tour,”
# Jack Rose

$ Sir Richard Bishop

% Jonathan Richman

+ I’m Not There: In Concert w/Calexico, Cat Power, The Roots, My Morning Jacket, J Mascis, and many more

^ Broken Social Scene

A Very Modest Mouse Tour; Kahooga! I Write For Tiny Mix Tapes, I’m Rich Now!

by Luke Lindberg (age 12), brother of Emceegreg

You may think Modest Mouse started out like every other band, starting out just like everyone else. But what you think is wrong, it is so wrong, that it’s crazy just thinking about it. It all started several years ago in a galaxy far, far away......

A man named Issac Timalolo, searching for the perfect pet for Timalolo's girlfriend, Karen Odelaufph, who wanted one dearly. Timalolo was about to give up until he saw this extremely small mouse in the back of a animal store reading to a group of orphans. He ran in as fast as he could and asked the mouse, "What is your name?"

The mouse looked up to him and said, "The name's Modest."

"Would you like to come home with me? I have a girlfriend that would take care of you."

Modest accepted, he was getting bored reading to orphans all day. For many days Issac and Modest would become best friends and hang out all the time. One day while everyone was asleep, he crept into the basement after Issac said don't go in. When he was down there he found something so beautiful to him that a tear fell from his face while looking at it. It was a..... keyboard. He walked towards it, confused and frightened at the same time. He then jumped on the instrument. He accidently hit one of the keys, and was delighted with the sound. He played all night until Issac caught him in the morning.

"Modest, what are you doing up so early in the morning?"

Modest replied in high expression, "Can you teach me how to play this marvelous machine?" Then after that point, Issac taught Modest lesson, then soon after they would go on musical gigs together as the Human and Mouse Band. Becoming famous in over a zillion states. But several months later, Modest the mouse died from old age. Issac was devastated. But he wanted to continue the band in memory of Modest. He hired many musicians to help him fill in band members. While they were practicing, one of the band members asked "Is The Human and Mouse Band sound right now since there's no mouses and we’re all... you know... human?"

Issac was confused. "You think we should change it?" Issac said. They all agreed, They all thought real hard until Issac said "I know! What about Modest Mouse?" All the band members all agreed upon it. And from that day the band would be known as Modest Mouse. To honor the mouse that gave them hearts and showed them how to love, and also have the ability to talk, play the keyboard, and most of all, read to orphans. Modest the mouse.

The End?

Modest Tourdates:

[This news story is part of our Take Your Kids to Work Day special]

KISS Hates You

by Thomas Cadmus (age 13), cousin of Chadwicked
1994 was a tough time for KISS fans around the world when the band started to change. The band started to stop with their man-makeup and costumes with holes so you can see their hairy chests. “Lick It Up” was their first CD with leather jackets and pants, ones with no holes so you don’t have to look at the forest of hair that fans oddly loved.

In the '80s, Simmons seemed to forget about the band. He wanted a film career. The band already lost their identity and fan base. Gene was the main reason KISS was the big thing in the '70s. Once he stopped being the demon, he stopped being Gene.

Okay let’s fast forward things to around ten years later, skipping the tragedy of Eric Carr and the bringing in of Eric Singer. It’s June 1994, KISS starts to pick up steam. Kiss My Ass: Classic KISS Regrooved comes out. It featured artists like Lenny Kravitz, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Garth Brooks. Now they’re heading downhill, towards their, well, break-up-ette.

Fans around the globe get depressed. To make themselves feel better they create tribute bands, wearing the same makeup and costumes that show your body hair and ride up on your crotch. They performed at KISS conventions and created nostalgia for the '70s KISS lineup. It seemed to have worked, because in 1996, KISS returned.

KISS Loves You starts in 1994 when KISS was at an all time low. But when they did return, KISS brought some unforeseen costs. The DVD will be released November 20th. The DVD comes with some rare treats like Stockholm 1976. The bonus materials will be enough to make any KISS fan jump. It includes never-before-seen silent Super-8 film of KISS in Stockholm 1976; extensive footage from the 1996 KISS press conference USS Intrepid; the “Beyond Vaudeville” KISS spectacular program; and 90 minutes, yes that’s 90 minutes, of outtakes from the film. Wow.

There you go KISS fans, hope you don’t work on November 20. Have fun and happy watching.

[This news story is part of our Take Your Kids to Work Day special]