Just kidding about laughing. I ain't laughing. This ain't no laughing matter.
This past Saturday, it was announced that Norway's long-standing Quart Festival was canceled due to "ticket sales being weaker than expected and budgetary concerns." And that's even with a pretty hefty lineup (Death Cab for Cutie, Gnarls Barkley, Battles, Liars, Spank Rock, Holy Fuck, Kool Keith, etc.)! Maybe people were sick of Bibles being burned on stage? Or pigheads being thrown in the audience? Or people having sex on stage? (These all really happened, FYI.)
And now, word has just come in that the debut of South East England's Redfest has been canceled too. "Due to the very disappointing tickets sales we have had no choice but to call the festival off," according to a post on the official website. Admittedly, the lineup wasn't quite as stellar -- Crystal Castles, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Los Campesinos!, Patrick Wolf -- but this still breaks my heart. Who the hell knows what kind of sexual or violent or religious scandal might've happened there. Maybe Patrick Wolf having sex with the lead singer of Does It Offend You, Yeah?, while barfing in the mouth of Los Campesinos' most religious member? IN YOUR DREAMS PERVERT! (Mine too.)
Modern Guilt tracklisting:
Damon and Naomi to Tour with Helena Espvall and Masaki Batoh; Tom and Jerry to Hold Camera and Join in on the Fun Should Mood Strike Them
Helena Espvall and Masaki Batoh (Ghost) are set to release their debut, self-titled collaboration July 22 on Drag City. Featuring "6- and 12-string guitar, banjo, cello, hurdy-gurdy, harp, contra bass, chappa Tibetan bells, Kin (Buddist metallic bowl), timpani, bass marimba, vibraphone, thunder sheet," and more, you'd be right in assuming this doesn't sound like Ugly Kid Joe, despite how amazing that band was. (Fun fact: “Everything About You” peaked at #3 in the UK Singles Chart.)
Today, Espvall and Batoh begin a tour with Damon and Naomi, who are touring in support of 2007's Within These Walls (TMT Review). The duos will part ways after their Empty Bottle gig, with Damon and Naomi trudging forth on a short European tour and Espvall and Batoh sleeping on beds made out of the money earned from the tour.
Damon & Naomi and Helena Espvall & Masaki Batoh tour:
EMI Gains Access to BBC Archives Containing a David Bowie Documentary, Live Pink Floyd, and Other Cool Shit
EMI is now able to open the BBC's own Cave of Broadcast Wonders, which gives me the mental image of a huge iron door laboriously wrenched open and Syd Barrett careening out, only to hit the opposite wall. In a deal forged this week, the BBC has agreed to grant unfettered access to EMI in exchange for use of EMI's artist performances in their programming. EMI plans to use this reservoir of material to create exclusive live DVDs, CDs, and digital download content.
"In the BBC vaults there is a wealth of unreleased and high quality material from EMI artists that we will now be able to bring to fans," says EMI senior VP Pete Duckworth. "At the same time, we can offer new revenue opportunities to our artists that simply weren't there before."
As mentioned in the headline, some of the hidden treasures include a 1975 Bowie documentary and a 1967 Pink Floyd performance of Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Hey, check it: EMI had a good idea! Devote time to the artists in your catalog that are actually good, and people will probably buy your swag! Oh man, this defies logic. Or follows it. I need to lie down (with David Bowie).
Is my mind more than a spot on the surface of a spherical flame? If so, how does its orbit establish my existence in relation to the emptiness of the void? Does it overcome insignificance and achieve true being, or does being simply achieve insignificance, overcome by truth? Are you there, God? It’s me, Cedric. I’m cold.
“Everything grows old under the power of Time and is forgotten through the lapse of Time.” Yet still the carnal desire to tour this September wells up within me, to educate the masses, the plebeians, the scum who remain ignorant to the sonic goddess that is my masculinity, personified through poetry. Fact: there are certain metaphysical truths which reveal themselves only in the Dionysian ecstasy of a half-hour bass solo. How long have I been in this room?
My dharma, through events set into motion before the dawn of time, has been to overcome my status as sidereal Libra, omnivore, and American, and, through sound, manifest eternal triumph. Mine was a virgin birth, for I am the child of pure art and unconditional strength. I can rise to this challenge. I can create light. I can. I can! I am man! I am art! It shall be!
Oh, to be!
Last Friday, M.I.A. announced during her performance at McCarren Pool that she is canceling her upcoming tour. She confirmed the cancellation before her performance at MoMA's "Party in the Garden."
“This is my last show. I cancelled the UK tour," M.I.A. told New York Magazine. “Nobody knows. This is it. You’re hearing it first. My manager was supposed to cancel it yesterday, but he was watching football — don’t tell anyone — and he forgot. So nobody knows. I guess now they will.”
Why M.I.A.? Why?
“I’m canceling because I feel like physically I just have to stop for a second. It’s too insane. I was losing a sense of just, like, reality, you know what I mean? I think for an artist like me, it’s so important for me to be in the streets and go to the same shop every day and see the same people and, like, communicate. And it’s really difficult to do that when you’re in the city every day for 24 hours. Like, I love connecting with my band, but I want to actually help them and be a part of peoples’ lives. Which is really hard when you’re on tour.”
Oh, I see. But what about a new album?
“I’ve been writing on tour. I’m really into writing new songs. I’m going to put out a new record instead. At the end of the day, I’m here, you know.”
It's unknown whether or not the entire European tour is canceled or just the UK dates, but New York Magazine believes its the entire tour. Also unknown is if this cancellation includes her Bonnaroo appearance, but I'm guessing probably not. Really, your best bet is to simply show up at any of the following dates and wait and see if she shows up. If she doesn't, you can be all, like, "Wow, she's truly M.I.A.!"
Warner Music Group No Longer Offering Free Ad-Supported Music On Last.fm. That Means No More Streaming Old Puff Daddy Albums For Me. Fuck You WMG, How Could You Be So Selfish as to Take Away My P Diddy? (This Is The Point Where Mr P Will Edit The Headline To Read: “I Got Your P Diddy Right Here, Scoutty Boy.”)
Warner Music Group has yanked itself (and its music) from the free, ad-supported music streaming feature on Last.fm, after they were unable to reach an agreement regarding proper compensation.
Warner Music Group was the first major music group to sign up with Last.fm's streaming service, but the shit turned sour as Warner Music Group believes that the compensation rates on Last.fm aren't as good as those offered by competing site IMEEM and the soon-to-be-launched service from MySpace. WMG has also been ticked off about Last.fm's lack of a music subscription service.
CBS, the owner of Last.fm since May 2007, released a statement claiming that it is currently in negotiations with WMG, so my guess is that WMG will likely be back on Last.fm soon. WMG would be stupid not to put its music back on the site, since Last.fm has become such an important player in the music industry. Not having its music on the site could lead to lost profits for the major, and it wouldn't want that, would it?
Keen followers of my horseshit rants (hi Mom!) know darn well that anytime I can throw in a reference to my favorite movie, Back to the Future, I will. Even if the news is bad, like when the famous courtyard and clocktower sets were destroyed in a fire on the Universal Studios lot last week, I will take the time to write about it and you, rightfully, will not take the time to read it. Apparently I’m not the only one with a BTTF fixation. In memorandum of the destroyed film sets Harvey Milk have planned their forthcoming tour on the space-time continuum featured so zanily in the trilogy.
It looks like a strange tour itinerary, and I do spot a couple of oversights: the band are covering dates in the Old West in 1885 by traveling back in time in the DeLorean, but a dozen shows in the U.S. starting this June 17 in Atlanta seem to be missing. Likewise, the band will undoubtedly McFly somewhere in the year 2015 to play some gigs, but I don’t see a bunch of confirmed July dates in Europe, mostly in Germany, where the band has been hailed as the second coming of Accept. I guess you can’t count on anything these days... except for Harvey Milk to completely destroy at any date they play, without the use of fire. Check the U.S. venues for supporting acts, which may include sets by Major Stars, Pride Parade, Torche, Clouds, Dead Goats, Growing, Bloody Panda, Dead Bird, 27, Black Helicopter, Pigs!, or Dianogah, depending on which show you WILL attend. All Euro dates are with Hydra Head label friends Oxbow.
Roads? Where Harvey Milk are going, they don’t need roads
06.17.08 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl
06.18.08 - Charlotte, NC - The Milestone
06.19.08 - Richmond, VA - Canal Club (downstairs)
06.20.08 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory
06.21.08 - Boston, MA - Great Scott
06.22.08 - Northampton, MA - The Elevens
06.23.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Europa
06.24.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s
06.25.08 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
06.26.08 - Wilmington, NC - Soapbox
06.27.08 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt
06.28.08 - Birmingham, AB - Bottle Tree
07.06.08 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk #
07.07.08 - Stuttgart, Germany - Club Schocken #
07.08.08 - Berlin, Germany - Festsaal Kreuzberg $
07.09.08 - Hamburg, Germany - Hafenklang #
07.10.08 - Rotterdam, Netherlands - Worm #
07.11.08 - Brussels, Belgium - Recyclart #
07.12.08 - Birmingham, England - Supersonic Festival
07.13.08 - Glasgow, Scotland - ABC2
07.14.08 - Manchester, England - The Ruby Lounge
07.15.08 - London, England - Underworld
07.16.08 - Paris, France - La Maroquinerie %
07.17.08 - Dortmund, Germany - Fzw #
07.18.08 - Dour, Belguim - Dour Festival #
$ Oxbow and Parts & Labor
% Oxbow and Red Sparowes
The Milk, now fortified with additional nutrients like Joe Preston (Thrones, Melvins, Earth), released their latest album, Life...The Best Game in Town on Hydra Head, on June 3. If you own it, these might look familiar:
1. Death Goes to the Winner
3. After All I’ve Done for You, This Is How You Repay Me?
4. Skull Sock and Rope Shoes
5. We Destroy the Family
7. A Maelstrom of Bad Decisions
9. Barn Burner
10. Good Bye Blues
Jaguar Love (Featuring Ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves/Blood Brothers Members) to Release Debut Album, Tour This Crazy World
Last week, Jaguar Love -- consisting of Johnny Witney (ex-Blood Brothers), Cody Votolato (ex-Blood Brothers), and J Clark (ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves) -- released a self-titled EP on Matador. And in a couple months -- August 19, to be exact -- the band will release its debut full-length, Take Me To The Sea. So what will they do in the meantime? I mean, if they're not going to get regular jobs like the rest of us (assuming they don't have regular jobs like the rest of us), they better start contributing to society in some meaningful way.
Maybe they can tour? Maybe have them tour Europe in order to expand the Matador presence over there? Then maybe we can have them come back late July to play a couple U.S. festivals? And then have them startup a brand new North American tour this fall with The Faint? Ha, maybe! Anything's possible in this crazy world.
If Dirty Deeds Were Done Cheap, There Would Be a New AC/DC Album Exclusively Sold at Wal-Mart. Oh, There Is?
Apparently, AC/DC's newest, yet-to-be-titled album will be sold exclusively this fall through Wal-Mart stores, according to the Wall Street Journal. AC/DC will be following in the footsteps of past Wal-Mart buddies, like Garth Brooks, The Eagles, Journey, and Gerry, the old "Welcome to Wal-Mart" door-greeter.
And just what does this mean for AC/DC fans?
1. The album won't be slapped with a Parental Advisory sticker, since Wal-Mart doesn't sell music promoting violence or sex (or unions). To cure the "No-Big Balls" blues, buy a shotgun and take out your anger by shooting pretty things in nature.
2. Yes, AC/DC has "sold out," so to speak. But rumor has it that the album will be groundbreaking and complimentary to the forthcoming tour. And by "rumor," I mean Rumor Willis. What does she know?
3. Make a day out of it. Take the whole family with you to buy the AC/DC album. Stop at McDonald's or Subway, get a manicure, get your oil changed for cheap (tip: some workers forget to put the oil cap back on), and finally get your eyes checked, teeth done, credit evaluated, and hair cut.
To support the demand of AC/DC fans, several Wal-Marts will be built near swampy areas.