Help Donate to Geologist’s Walk for Parkinson’s

With such contagious euphoria, it's easy to get sucked into the clouds by a group like Animal Collective. So, sometimes it takes sad news to ground us back to reality. Suffering from late-stage [?Parkinson's Disease], the grandfather of Animal Collective member Brian "Geologist" Weitz has been in the hospital for the last two months due to surgery unrelated to Parkinson's. And now Weitz' grandfather is unable to "fully wake up or recover."

In an effort to support his grandfather and promote research initiatives for Parkinson's Disease, Weitz and his mom have joined the Parkinson Council's 2007 Walk for Parkinson's in Philadelphia. The sixth-annual Walk will be held on April 21, starting at the Philadelphia Art Museum and lasting for roughly ten miles.

You can help Weitz raise funds by donating to his personal Walk webpage.

Of course, the fight against Parkinson's Disease won't end after the walk, so bookmark those links and do what you can for future walks and fundraising projects.

Journalism School Headline-Writing Contest (First Draft): Festival Makes it Easy Being Green, Man!

Festivals, festivals, festivals! Fe-est-iva-a-a-a-a-ls! It's never too early for festival news, especially when you're dedicated to the still-flourishing folk revival movement we all know and love. All way-too-easy jokes about folkies with Aran sweaters and fingers in ears aside, the Green Man Festival seems to effortlessly straddle the tumultuous divide between long-standing members of the conventional folk establishment and their sometimes-dissed folktronically-inclined contemporaries.

All the hubbub about respecting the oral tradition will be put on the shelf for one weekend in August, when "folk" folk of all musical, philosophical and political persuasions will gather once again on gorgeous Glanusk Park in the Brecon Beacons, Wales for what has become one of the UK's most friendly festivals. Along with loads of the usual (and seemingly annually participating) suspects will be Joanna Newsom (herself a Green Man repeat performer), Stephen Malkmus, and Robert Plant -- yes Robert Plant -- who will take to the stage as headliners at this year's Green Man Festival August 17-19.

Besides the attraction of impeccable vibes and eats (past years have featured veggie, organic meat, and paella stands, and this year promises fresh seafood curries and an on-site smokery!), there will be plenty of obscure spinning in the DJ tent thanks to an esteemed array of crate-diggers of a different breed, and the popular film and literature tents will be back in full force (last year's tents featured obscure "psych-commune" film screenings and included talks with quintessential folk producer Joe Boyd and quintessential folk arranger Robert Kirby).

In short, there should be no excuse for not having your weird beard fully grown and your Morris Dancing steps down by mid-August. With its walled garden Children's area, 20,000 acres of idyllic parkland, massage and alternative therapy services, and possibly the presence of the Association of Radical Midwives, it might be the only festival you could ever consider bringing your three-year-old son, 93-year-old gramma, and ?-year-old lactating mother, daughter, wife, or partner to.

Here are the confirmed acts playing this year's Green Man: Robert Plant and the Strange Sensation, Joanna Newsom, Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks, Bill Callahan, Vashti Bunyan, Stephen Duffy and The Lilac Time, Dead Meadow, Gruff Rhys (Super Furry Animals), Vetiver, The Earlies, Richmond Fontaine, Euros Childs (ex-Gorky's Zygotic Mynci), Tunng, Starless and Bible Black, Lisa Knapp, Men-An-Tol, Arborea, Alela Diane, Monkey Swallows the Universe, The Yellow Moon Band, Steve Adley, Gilbert, Gareth Pearson, and John Power (ex-Cast, ex-The La's), and hopefully a set by Green Man organizers, Jo Bartlett and Danny Hagen, better known as It's Jo and Danny. Expect many more freaks to be announced soon.

Respect Is Due: El-P On Tour

El-P is currently on a European tour, but according to several sources, he's not as ecstatic as the media blitz would have you believe. Apparently, El-P's not getting along with the other kids there. One mate teased El-P's flows by calling them "stupid" and another kid ridiculed his beats as being "dumb." "I don't understand it," complained El-P. "I just want a little respect."

"He wants respect? Shit, we'll give him respect," says Hip-Hop In The U.S. board member Jim Waldon at a press conference. After his last Euro date at the Minifestival Electronica in Madrid, El-P will fly to California for the Coachella Music Festival where Hip-Hop In The U.S. expects to pay "loads" of respect to El-P.

"If there's one thing we hate here at H-HITUS, it's not giving enough respect," said Waldon. "The media, the church, the government, corporate America -- we're all brainwashed not to respect each other. But it's like... respecting each other is, or at least can be, a positive thing, and it's frustrating that some people can't see that. How [can] you not want to respect each other? It's, like -- hi, I'm dumb and I don't respect anything. Pshhhh, you know? That's nonsense man. I don't respect those kinds of people at all. I wish they'd all die."

El-P recently released I'll Sleep When You're Dead (TMT Review) on record label Definitive Jux.
04.27.07 - Indio, CA - Empire Polo Field
05.01.07 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East Restaurant & Nightclub
05.02.07 - Montreal, QC - Le National Music Hall
05.03.07 - Toronto, ON - Opera House
05.04.07 - Cleveland, OH - Beachland Ballroom & Tavern
05.05.07 - Columbus, OH - Little Brother's
05.06.07 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
05.07.07 - Cincinnati, OH - Top Cats
05.08.07 - Chicago, IL - Abbey Pub
05.10.07 - Lawrence, KS - Granada Theatre
05.11.07 - Denver, CO - Bluebird Theater
05.12.07 - Salt Lake City, UT - The Depot
05.14.07 - Seattle, WA - Neumo's
05.15.07 - Vancouver, BC - Richard's On Richards
05.16.07 - Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom
05.18.07 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall
05.23.07 - Tempe, AZ - The Clubhouse Music Venue
05.24.07 - Albuquerque, NM - Sunshine Theatre
05.27.07 - Austin, TX - Emo's Austin
05.28.07 - Houston, TX - Numbers
05.30.07 - New Orleans, LA - Parish At House Of Blues
06.02.07 - Gainesville, FL - Common Grounds
06.03.07 - Ybor City, FL - Orpheum
06.07.07 - Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle
06.08.07 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
06.09.07 - New York, NY - Irving Plaza

XBXRX Announce Tour and Release New Album? Slam Your Body Down and Wind It All Around! Slam Your Body Down and Zig-A-Zig Ahhhh!

Depending on who you ask, those from Connecticut are called Connecticuters or Nutmeggers, Michigan residents refer to themselves as either Michiganders or Michiganites, and Hawaiians are often divided into the kamaaina (native-born non-ethnic Hawaiians) and malihini (newcomers). But what the hell do you call inhabitants of the crazy state of XBXRX? Anyone who has seen the band live knows the most appropriate answer is "fucked up." Not since Sharon Stone spread her legs in Basic Instinct has an act been so open to filthy displays of vulgarity and violence as the California-cum-Alabama (ahh... that explains a bit of it) shit disturbers. It goes without saying that they hold a revered place in our dark 'n' dirty hearts.

Loathed (or feared) by as many as they are loved, XBXRX will head out on tour later this week on a self-destructive trek that will include a lot of shows in the U.S. and a few dates in Canada, where they were once allegedly barred from playing for a whole year. The tour takes in the eastern part of North America, then, surprisingly enough, the western part. There is a break between tour legs because the band either wants a bit of time off from their punishing live regimen or are planning on traveling out west on pummel horses mounted on wind-powered dune buggies

04.13.07 - Sacramento, CA - Fool's Foundation
04.14.07 - Berkley, CA - Rasputin Music (early)
04.14.07 - San Francisco, CA - The Hemlock Tavern (late)
04.17.07 - St. Paul, MN - Turf Club
04.18.07 - Milwaukee, WI - 2719 N. Pierre St

04.19.07 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
04.20.07 - Toronto, Ontario - Sneaky Dee's
04.21.07 - Ottawa, Ontario - End Hits
04.22.07 - Montréal, Quebec - Zoo Bizarre
04.23.07 - Amherst, MA - Mercy House
04.24.07 - Medford, MA - Tuft's University
04.25.07 - Annandale-on-Hudson, NY - SMOG @ Bard College
04.26.07 - Brooklyn, NY - Uncle Paulie's
04.27.07 - Cleveland, OH - Beachland Tavern
04.28.07 - Bloomington, IN - Art Hospital
04.29.07 - Chicago, IL - Schuba's
05.19.07 - Bakersfield, CA - Swimsuit House
05.20.07 - Los Angeles, CA - The Smell
05.21.07 - Flagstaff, AZ - Inner Beach
05.22.07 - Mesa, AZ - Hollywood Alley $
05.23.07 - Albuquerque, NM - The Launch Pad $
05.24.07 - Oklahoma City, OK - Conservatory $
05.25.07 - Denton, TX - Rubber Gloves $
05.26.07 - Austin, TX - Emo's $
05.27.07 - Houston, TX - Numbers $
05.28.07 - Mobile, AL - Cellblock
05.29.07 - New Orleans, LA - House of Blues $

$ Melt-Banana

A thousand monkeys typing on a thousand typewriters probably wouldn't type out XBXRX, so go buy the new album Wars out April 10 on Polyvinyl!

Txrxaxcxkxlxixsxtxixnxgx:

1. Center Where Sight
2. Freezing Water
3. Sheets and Organs
4. Here to Ruin the Party
5. Eight War
6. Suffocation
7. Minds
8. Sons of Horn
9. In Veins
10. Towers of Silence
11. Day Eleven
12. Ear Ever Hear

Shins, Rapture, K-os Help Show MTV’s Humanitarian Side, Right After TRL and Before Super Sweet 16

MTV is one of those organizations that I can't ever make myself commit to loving or hating. I have this problem with many things: the Democratic Party, Target, Steve Albini, hot dogs -- but the problem might be at its worst with MTV. Just when I'm prepared to write them off completely over their spring break coverage, mindless programming, and general music pimping, they come back with voter registration initiatives, anti-hate-crime documentaries, Wonder Showzen, and most recently, MTVU Campus Invasion.

Totally not as bad as it sounds: the idea behind each one is admirable, with the stated goal of the shows being to raise awareness of the problems facing the Darfur region. MTV will be pairing up with the Save Darfur Coalition on the issue, which is considered a legitimate one by pretty much everyone, everywhere. The "campus invasions" (none of which take place on any campus) will occur later this month in Austin, Atlanta, and Philadelphia, each with unique lineups: the lineup for the tragically show-starved students in Austin will include The Shins and The Rapture; the Atlanta show will feature city native Monica, Fabulous, and Rick Ross; while Philadelphians will see Dashboard Confessional, K-os, and Kenna. All shows will be supported by MTV Campus Battle of the Bands Winners.

Parts of each program, as well as artist interviews, will be shown on MTV and their website, and it should be quite interesting to see how their coverage compares to the last charity multi-concert event they covered (2005's Live 8), during which they became notorious for cutting to commercial during recently reunited Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" guitar solo -- MySpace Generation, represent. So to conclude: MTV is doing something positive, involving The Shins and The Rapture. Whether or not this is a strong step in a responsible direction for the channel remains to be seen.

Awesome Color Touring With Dinosaur Jr. Through 17 Awesome States; Canadian Provinces Merely Rad

Changin' times, these. Why, just last week ol' Winnie calls me up, flappin' that mouth of his about some "Awesome Color" or what have you. First couple times I just set there, stewin', but finally I can't stand it no longer. I says, "You talkin' about 'Awesome Color'?" Winnie just nods or somethin', who knows for sure, it's a dang phone. So then I says, "Winnie I known you all your life and I ain't never heard you give one spit about no colored, and that's plum fact." Winnie gets real silent 'til I think maybe he hung up, but 'fore I can set her back in the cradle, Winnie starts hollerin' again. "Awesome Color will be spending a large part of the tour with Dinosaur Jr. as well," the old coot slurs. Well I always pride myself on givin' people more'n one chance, so I says, real slow, "Now Winnie, I'm askin' as a friend... you been at the sauce all mornin'? Talkin' 'bout dinosaurs 'n' coloreds?" Well wouldn't you know it but the next thing I hear's a dang dial tone.

Next day I'm sidlin' over to Doc Holstein's place with one heavy burden weighin' on my mind. Now, Doc's been the first one this family calls since forever, no questions asked. The sort of man you bet your last dollar on, and the good Lord knows I done just that one too many times. So he lets me in that house of his, real cozy-like, asked me what's the matter. "What's the matter?" I says. "My best friend's waxin' poetic about some coloreds, that's what's the matter." 'Fore I can explain, Doc lets out a mean chuckle and starts speakin' in tongues, like. Says, "Awesome Color are touring in support of last year's self-titled debut, and Dinosaur Jr. are touring in support of comeback album Beyond, to be released on May 1." The kind of words that might break a weak man. Only thing I think to do is get out, but first I says, "I swear to Christ Doc Holstein, I heard things in my life, but this," and I stomp and stomp on that leg, and that ear, and them glasses too, and then I take a step outside.

Now what was I sayin'? Ah yeah. Things ain't how they used to be, no. Changin' times.

Dates for coloreds:

* Dinosaur Jr

Hey, Look Over There, It’s A Tactical Misdirection – Architecture In Helsinki World Tour 2007!!!!!!!!!

Northcote ne'er-do-wells Architecture in Helsinki are about to take a zigzag lap around the globe, playing shows in more than just a couple countries. Their passports will be stamped many times over this May and June as the band travel from country to country, show to show, and festival to festival. And while AIH have yet to announce a release date or title for their follow-up to 2005's In Case We Die (Bar/None), they have made known their plans for one song thought to be included on that future LP. "Heart It Races" will be released as a single, and not one of those one-version singles, but a single in many forms. Remixes to be exact, discombobulated and reconfigured by YACHT, A-Trak, Hey Willpower!, and more.

The press release for this story mentions that the many incarnations of the track will appear "magically." My mind boggles, thinking of the various varieties of magic that may be involved. Black? White? Street? Ervin Johnson? It might be that magi(k) stuff that Arthur seemed so fond of. I guess I jumped the gun a bit, as it seems that they just meant the single is coming out in different formats for different countries. Well, the first official appearance of the song, a remix concocted by DJ/Rupture, is now available on the band's MySpace. A lot of things (teenage inanity, News Corp, free giftcards, stalker stalking) come to mind when MySpace is mentioned, but magic is not one of them. It seems that the amount of magic involved in this endeavor has nowhere to go but up.

Tourdates:

# Gang Gang Dance, Ariel Pink

Tonic Closes; I Cry Into My Glass of Gin

It's hard to spend any time on Manhattan's Lower East Side without hearing about the ravages of gentrification. In what has become the city's most well-known and bitterly ironic vicious cycle, venues for unorthodox music and art move into cheap neighborhoods where they can afford the rent... only to unwittingly raise the property values and, after a few years, be priced out of these very same neighborhoods by khaki-wearing, SUV-driving yuppies. The past few years have been particularly brutal, with CBGB's closing on Halloween '06 and Sin-e shuttering its space only a few days ago. Now comes word that Tonic will be the next victim. I had considered excerpting the message below, but its refreshing frankness and insightful observations about the politics of policing bear unedited reproduction:

Dear Musicians, Fans and Friends:

After more than 9 years as a home for avant-garde, creative, and experimental music, Tonic will reluctantly close its doors on Friday, April 13th, 2007. We simply can no longer afford the rent and all of the other costs associated with doing business on the Lower East Side.

The neighborhood around us has been increasingly consumed by "luxury condominiums", boutique hotels and glass towers, all making the value of our salvaged space worth more then our business could ever realistically support. We have also been repeatedly harassed by the city's Quality of Life Task Force which resulted in the debilitating closing of the ))sub((tonic lounge in January. Coincidentally, this campaign began as our immediate neighbor, the Blue Condominium building - a symbol of the new Lower East Side - prepared to open its doors.

As a business, we take responsibility for mistakes made along the way. If profit had been our chief motivation we could have changed our programming to something more mainstream and financially lucrative. Instead we were more committed to a certain type of music and loyal to the community that supported us. As a result, we've always just survived but never really prospered. It is, however, unfortunate that it is so difficult for small businesses to operate in this city and that a chain store that can afford a high rent is more desirable than a place like Tonic that has a different kind of value.

While this is certainly the end of Tonic at 107 Norfolk Street, we remain committed to what Tonic represents and plan to try again in some form as soon as possible. In the interim, Tonic will make efforts to present new music in existing venues such as the Abron's Arts Center located just a few blocks away.

We invite you to join us as often as you can over our remaining days to help us celebrate Tonic and more importantly the amazing artists, our unwavering staff, and the nurturing community that made Tonic possible. It's because of you that we've stayed open as long as we have. Thank you!

Sincerely, Melissa and John

Obviously, Tonic has been a hugely important place, a small, intimate venue that dared to book adventurous, exciting acts, both new and established. Here's hoping that the owners find a new place (come to Brooklyn, guys!) to carry on the tradition. And come out to support these guys during their stellar farewell shows, featuring the likes of Ikue Mori, Erik Friedlander, White Magic, Yuka Honda, and Sean Lennon. A new "Tonic Presents" series as Abron's Arts Center also looks promising, with an opening show from Jandek April 14.

While I'm at it, I might as well break the news, much as it turns my stomach, that the Knitting Factory may be next.

Congressman Discusses Merits Of Girl Talk And His Thieving, Amoral Ways

U.S. Congressman Mike Doyle (D-PA) recently shimmied into Congress in the middle of a hearing on The Future Of Radio, sporting a torn pair of Diesel jeans and a homemade Bloc Party t-shirt, and took no time cutting off Oldie McDecrepit (R-IL) in the middle of his sentence to say, "I want to tell a little story about a local guy done good." Congressman McDecrepit was taken aback and grabbed his overhead transparency on cassette swapping and murmured, "Now what's all this about, you old poop?"

Doyle swung his right leg up onto a boombox, lit a joint, and blew it in the face of Grandpa J. Victrola (R-FL). He went on. "His name is Gregg Gillis, and by day he's a biomedical engineer in Pittsburgh. At night, he DJs under the name Girl Talk. His latest mashup record Night Ripper ([TMT Review)] made the top of 2006 lists from Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and Spin Magazine."

"I'll give you something to spin, sonny," moaned Dopey Hatemusic (R-WA) as he grabbed his cane and threw it a few inches in front of him. Everyone paused to watch it clatter to the floor and rest on Doyle's foot, and minutes later, Hatemusic let out his final death rattle. Doyle started a noise zine in his honor later that day, but for now, he continued. He spoke of a common zip code between he and Gregg Gillis and how that wasn't the only thing they shared. "I hope that everyone involved will take a step back," he crooned, "and ask themselves if mash-ups and mix tapes are really different, or if it's the same as Paul McCartney admitting he nicked a Chuck Berry bass riff and used it on the Beatles hit ‘I Saw Her Standing There.' " Congresswoman Pleasure F. Hater (R-MO) pressed the button on her speaking machine, which let out a puff of smoke and said, "I love Chuck Berry!"

Doyle finished off his speech by declaring the kind of music Girl Talk makes as a "transformative new art that expands the listener's experience," to which all the other congressmen threw their hands up and went back to their lawn chairs to yell at small shadows they think might be children.

Say hi to Mike Doyle at these venues:

* w/ Neutral Milk Hotel

Ladyhawk and Tapes ‘n Tapes Present: The Knuckleball of Commercialism Tour with Derek Jeter

Initially, I made the headline read, "Ladyhawk tour with Tapes 'n Tapes. That's so 2006 you guys!" but that was lame. No, they're not really touring with Derek Jeter. So I made a lie. Yeah, I lie sometimes. And I thought it might get your attention. It's not my job to criticize and mock anyone here at TMT Headquarters in Palm Springs. It's my job to report the news; if that means shoddy reporting involving bands on tour, then so be it.

If enjoying catchy indie rock is your only escape from getting drilled by your washed-up father, who constantly bugs you about playing baseball in order to live his failed dreams through you, then this tour was created for your sorry ass. You can catch these bands in their gooey prime and forget that whole "Oh, they were so last year" jab I made earlier. But let's face it: both bands are currently working on new material for forthcoming albums, so why shouldn't this tour be all about video game baseball?

It is, in fact, the 2K Sports "Hit-n-Run Tour" that will be giving you a chance to enlighten yourself with the company's new game, MLB 2K7. This will give you a chance to realize what has been missing in your life: kicking the dudes from Tapes 'n Tapes' asses as the Detroit Tigers. This is as close as you're ever going to get to living your father's dreams for yourself. And if you've already played the game, then you have probably already noticed Tapes 'n Tapes I-don't-know-the-lyrics-but-I'll-sing-along-anyway hit "Insistor" playing against a screaming stadium of assholes shouting, "Get your peanuts!"

So, that is the tour news. I hope you enjoyed it. I tried my best. I hope we all learned a valuable journalistic lesson today. TMT is not a place to criticize music, but a place to talk about baseball, all the time. For instance, what you should have gotten out of this article is that Ladyhawk and Tapes 'n Tapes are going on tour with a badass video game, and that Derek Jeter is the most overrated player of all time. Talking about a shitty defense and signing out, this was your pal, Emceegreg. Take care.

Ladyhawk tourdates:

* Tapes 'n Tapes and Harlem Shakes

  

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