Bonde do Role is the kind of band we'd start together. You know, the one where we’d just cut up samples and loop them over some loud, funky beats, and then all shout into microphones like crazy people? And we’d writhe around the stage and hump each other and bring fans up on stage and then hump them too? And fuck the FCC, because we’d use any samples we wanted! We’d even illegally sample music that sucks! That would show them! It would be so awesome!
Well, that band already exists, and it is awesome. Bonde do Role were the first artists signed to Diplo’s Mad Decent label, which makes them far realer than our proposed band. Other cool points they have over our band include:
- Their first LP, With Lasers, came out June 5, and it is totally sweet.
- They were featured in Rolling Stone, the only magazine that still has the guts to tell the truth about music.
- They are a baile funk group from Brazil, which is a much cooler scene than the collective space in front of our laptops.
- They use funk carioca beats in their songs; we'd use mostly Apple Loops.
- They make music videos like this; we'd make music videos like this.
This fall, MCs Marina Vello and Pedro D’Eyrot, along with MC/DJ Rodrigo Gorky, will cause boners to be popped all across the North American continent. They will play shows nearly every day for a month, only taking brief breaks to apply Marina’s more severe hair dyes. We should totally see them. Check out this video if you don’t believe me! Come on, this will be cooler than that time we found that pineapple full of bees!
At least we knew about their tour before Todd did:
My theory is that Diplo is actually a set of identical twins taking 12-hour shifts. One is a Buddhist and blind in the left eye. The other can run slightly faster and has 11 fingers, which no one seems to have noticed. This is the only possible way I can imagine how he (they?) can have so many projects yet still have time to buy milk and sponges. (Either that, or Diplo has evolved a gland that secretes liquid productivity. In this case, it would be my job, as a journalist, to find Diplo, kill him, harvest his gland, synthesize the chemical, and sell the formula to the highest bidder.)
This summer alone, Diplo has released an iTunes-exclusive EP, produced some tracks for M.I.A., toured throughout Europe, and started a non-profit program to support young musicians in underprivileged communities (which you can support by buying their first single on iTunes). On top of all that, Diplo has been making mixes/remixes, updating his podcast, and editing his baile funk documentary, Favela On Blast.
How does he even have time to listen to records?
I've already told you how: secret twins. Think of the wacky situations they must get into! I bet, at least once, they coincidentally took two women out on separate dates to the same restaurant at the same time, and one woman saw the wrong Diplo, so they had to switch places, but then they almost got caught when one Diplo didn’t realize that the other Diplo’s date was casually referencing something the first Diplo had said during coitus the previous night and thought she was quoting the movie Duck Soup.
Even for two people, Diplo absorb and create an impressive amount of music. Just check out their podcast, Mad Decent Worldwide Radio, the “NPR for the streets.” Posting their own mixes or mixes from local DJs, Diplo set out to expose the local music of different communities to listeners who would never hear it otherwise. Quite a few cultures are represented, and any of these mixes can rock a party much harder than that last dance mix you made (the one with “I Want You Back” on it three times).
As for Favela On Blast, Diplo have not yet set a release date for the film. They also have not set an announcement date for the release date of the film, but they have hinted that this release date is soon-to-be announced. They have, however, released SEVEN TRAILERS (my favorite is the sixth). This movie focuses on the bailes funk in Rio de Janeiro, a remarkably underexposed scene that Diplo have become enamored with in recent years.
Sipping sweet secretions of your mutated anatomy on the following dates:
Songwriter, producer, performer, and outsider genius Lee Hazlewood died on Saturday at the age of 78. He had been battling renal cancer for over a year.
Although his echoing late-‘50s production work for Duane Eddy and others attracted the attention of Phil Spector (and became a major influence on Spector's Wall of Sound production style), Lee was probably most famous for writing Nancy Sinatra’s "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'." Legendarily, he instructed Sinatra to sing the song “like a 16-year-old girl who fucks truck drivers.” Given these circumstances, the song inevitably became an international megahit, and Hazlewood went on to write and produce much of Sinatra’s hugely successful '60s output, including their incredible 1968 duet album, Nancy and Lee. Ever the visionary, he also signed Gram Parsons’ International Submarine Band to his own LHI label in 1967.
Additionally, and no less notably, Hazlewood continued to furrow his singularly idiosyncratic solo career. His nicotine-stained baritone will undoubtedly remain one of the most perfect instruments of the pop canon, although his echoing, dark, and droll brand of countrified pop was not marked for any kind of commercial success. Indeed, most of his albums remained out-of-print and largely forgotten for years until Steve Shelley’s Smells Like imprint re-released many of them, to great success, in the late-‘90s. Notable highlights included gems such as Cowboy In Sweden (released after he had moved to Sweden in 1970), Poet, Fool or Bum, and his 1999 comeback album Farmisht, Flatulence, Origami, ARF!!! & Me. His self-proclaimed final album was last year’s Cake or Death.
Hazlewood is survived by his third wife, Jeanne, and three children.
Metal Machine Music Live Performance To Be Released on CD/DVD; Entire Death Metal Community Veers Into Collective Apoplexy
“Recommended cuts: None” – Billboard
“Sounds like the tubular groaning of a galactic refrigerator” – Rolling Stone
“An experience…both brutal and numbing” – allmusic.com
No, these hipsters aren’t talking about Ryan Adams’ latest nuggets of sun-dried shit, although they may as well be. They’re referring, of course, to Metal Machine Music, Lou Reed’s 1975 towering noise epic/contractual obligation -- your own opinion essentially depending on whether you are a “winner” or a “loser.” Either way, you could never really imagine Sweet Lou ever playing anything off the record live, especially considering that he himself claims never to have listened to it all the way through (although I’m sure he’s listened to Mistrial on more than one squalid occasion). This is because he is a “loser.”
That was until the hot and heady days of 2002. Inspired toward hitherto uncharted heights of creativity -- no doubt after hearing Hot Hot Heat for the first time -- German saxophonist Ulrich Krieger managed to transcribe the whole four sides of Reed’s career-ender, even though he had to use ‘special notation’ on some bits. Loser Lou described the results as “unbelievable,” and he agreed to play guitar in a live performance of the album with the German chamber music ensemble Zeitkratzer, at the Berlin Opera House, no less. (The Apollo Grill in Easthampton was unavailable that weekend.)
Why am I wittering on about this now? Well, five years on, the CD/DVD set of the performance is being released September 4 in the U.S. via Asphodel. In addition to providing the performance in its entirety, the DVD will also contain a 30-minute cheeky chat with Lou Reed himself. Wowsers!
But before all you ambrosial little noiseniks start auctioning off your Wolf Eyes lathe-cuts on eBay in order to afford the purchase of this undoubtedly expensive little package, I should leave you with a few choice words of warning from G. Naugle, “a music fan,” broadcasting from that bastion of critical profundity, Amazon.com. I quote:
“Horible![sic] Avoid this album at all costs! And just for the record for the so called "fan" who gave this a better rating than Death's albums, THIS ALBUM IS NOT DEATH METAL, NEVER WAS NEVER WILL BE! UTTERLY CRAP!”
No, "Worms Eating MP3s" isn't the name of a new indie-pop band from Sweden. This story is about a new computer virus that will totally delete all of your MP3s. Its name is "Deletemusic," and it travels through USB flash drives into your music library and -- yep, you guessed it -- deletes all the MP3s. All of ‘em.
Symantec, a.k.a. the jackasses who actually charge for anti-virus software, has classified the worm's risk factor as "very low." The company claims its databases are updated, so users of the the Norton AntiVirus programs should be safe. But you know what? Symantec and Norton AntiVirus can suck it -- if you're a Windows user, you have free solutions like ClamWin Antivirus. Give it a try. Your wallet will thank you, and you'll thank yourself for not having to deal with the annoying "YOUR COMPUTER IS AT RISK!!!" warnings.
However, I digress.
No one's yet taken credit for this cruel little prank, but some speculate that even the RIAA could be behind it. But at this point, it might very well have been some rogue middle-school hacker who got really bored after watching Dragon Ball Z one Wednesday afternoon and decided to create a worm to delete the music off of his sister's laptop because he was tired of hearing the Ying Yang Twins on repeat, and then his sister went to go smoke some dope at her friend's house and shared some John Mayer via her pink USB drive key chain and then, just like a venereal disease, it spread, deleted music (hey, VD can do amazing things), and spread some more. Yeah, I bet that's what happened.
I can't possibly be the only one still unsettled by Common's Gap commercial. Joining the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker and Madge, Common served as a star and rapped a verse for the retail giant in a holiday commercial late last year. Dude rocked the hat and hoodie with style and even spit while walking on a giant peace sign. But I still don't think Gap is what's hot on the streets.
Eight months have gone by and Common's still reppin' for the khaki/yuppie retail giant, mostly in his role with the (Red) campaign, Bono's line of products to raise money for The Global Fund and help those affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa. A great cause, without a doubt, but cynical as it may be, I miss Common Sense. I mean, we're all inspi(red) by the cause, but the fact is Com's latest album Finding Forever is less than inc(red)ible, and his "positive," "socially-conscious" hip-hop just feels ti(red).
But the stage (and not the 30 second spot) is where Common really shines. Always a dynamic performer, this man is truly heart and soul -- someone who stands strong behind what he says while saying something worth standing behind. What can I say, I'm a forgiver. A rare breed in today's pop music world, let's give Common a fair shot at redeeming himself on an upcoming tour. And here's to hoping Finding Forever is a grower.
08.09.07 - Chicago, IL - International House (University of Chicago)
08.10.07 - Chicago, IL - Best Buy (1000 W. North Ave.) *
08.14.07 - Washington, DC - Borders (18th & L St. NW) *
09.05.07 - San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine
09.07.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Wiltern Theatre
09.08.07 - Anaheim, CA - House of Blues
09.09.07 - Las Vegas, NV - House of Blues
09.13.07 - Denver, CO - The Fillmore Auditorium
09.15.07 - Dallas, TX - House of Blues
09.16.07 - Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa
09.20.07 - Chicago, IL - Charter One Pavilion at Northerly Island $
09.24.07 - Toronto, Ontario - Kool Haus
10.07.07 - New York, NY - Nokia Theatre
* autograph signing
$ Joss Stone
Hey Guys, Please Pay Attention.. Yeah, Over Here… C’mon, Look At Me… Oh, Humanity – Does Anyone Care About Marissa Nadler Yet?!
She is verging on becoming a critics' darling, sure, but for some reason Marissa Nadler has yet to receive the attention and fanfare warranted by her serenely beautiful new album Songs III: Bird on the Water (TMT Review). Maybe it's the year of brash, distorted fey-disco (I'm looking at you, Justice), but for quiet folk, it's apathy abound. Her fragile and haunting collection of folk numbers has garnered a fair amount of rave reviews, but the indie-goddess status of, say, Joanna Newsom still eludes our fair heroine. A shriller pitch and more Old English she may be lacking, but for the love of god -- what must Marissa Nadler do to be accepted into your cold, elitist hearts?
Thankfully, she is giving it her all, and in a last-ditch effort for acceptance by each and every one of you, Nadler will be putting it all on the line for her new set of shows, the first full tour associated with her U.S. label Kemado Records. Beginning with a set of four free in-store performances, Nadler will bring her shock ‘n’ awe campaign to the masses with a captivating spectacle of pyrotechnics, backup dancers, choreographed numbers, and surprise guests. That's right, she's pulling out all the stops, because if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?
Acoustic guitar not doing it for you guys? Watch Nadler shred on her new double-necked Flying V. One-woman show not exciting enough? Wait until she takes the stage in her shiny new robot mask. And the big finale? Watch Nadler light herself on fire as she is suspended in mid-air, flying over the audience like a recently fallen archangel. And you thought Madonna put on a show.
Have you heard of Frightened Rabbit? They are a Glasgow trio and are amazing. They are finally, finally, finally coming to the U.S., right around the FatCat re-release of their 2006 debut, Sing the Greys (originally limited to 1,000). Go see them. That is all. Serious.
& Müm, Tom Brosseau
Diamanda Galas Schools You In The Art Of How Not To Take Part In The Tradition of Figuring Out How Far You Can Take No Talent
Obsessive love is something we'll all experience at one time or another. But it isn’t all roses and butterfly kisses, kids -- sometimes things get a little crazy. You can be certain that all the emotional bases will be covered as Diamanda presents “Imitation of Life” on the 6th and 12th of August at the Highline Ballroom in NYC. This, one of two song cycles being debuted at the venue, is focused on “the transformation of classic jazz standards and French ballads.” Expression has never been an issue for Diamanda, thankfully, because how much safe twaddle can we all really take when it comes to the expression of love in a vocal performance? I want to know that someone else has experienced the maddening rage, the sense of loss, the moments of pure captivation; it can’t all be standing forlorn at a window or having a long walk on the beach, can it?
Diamanda will also debut the song cycle, “Chansons Malheureuses and Amanedhes” on August 19. Original compositions will be punctuated by the interpretation of texts by Nerval, Cesaire, Hrant, Kazantzithis, Supervielle and Freilinger, in the “vocal tradition of the Amanedhes (improvised lamentations from Asia Minor and the Middle East).” This traditional expression will undoubtedly be presented alongside her own dialogue of extreme technique. The extensive array of voices that she gives power to are always at their most primal and inspiring when witnessed live. Subsequently, her performances are generally described as "challenging," but really, no one ever said that confrontation was easy, honey.
If you can handle it, kids:
[Photo: Paula Court]
Sympathy For the Record Industry For Sale, Opportunity to Own Iowa Beef Experience Back Catalogue (And Other Stuff!) Finally Yours
In a blog post dated July 20, garage/punk mainstay label Sympathy For the Record Industry was put on the auction block, with “accidental CEO” Long Gone John setting the starting price at “$625,000.00 or $700,000.00 if [he doesn’t] like you.”
In addition to releasing material by artists such as Billy, Spacemen 3, Suicide and the Oblivians, the label is partially responsible for jumpstarting the pre-major label careers of bands your sister has heard of, such as The White Stripes, Turbonegro, and The Donnas (then known as the Electrocutes).
Here is a slightly abridged list of things you, person who Long Gone John likes and owner of $600,000+, could buy instead of this record label:
- 1,125 Ohana TK-300G Solid Koa Tenor Ukuleles. This might not seem like a lot, but the TK-300G is apparently a total top of the line ukulele. As ukuleleworld2.com claims, “it don't get no better than this.”
- Almost a ton and a half of Skittles, wholesale.
- 116 1-carat platinum four prong diamond engagement rings.
- 857 St. Bernard puppies, 1,500 Dachshund puppies, 2,666 Siamese cats, or 80,000,000 four-week-old (approx. half-inch long) crickets.
All figures are accurate and generally rounded down. The only figure that came out even was the Dachshund puppies.
In all honestly, it is sad to see Sympathy For the Record Industry go through such hard times, and one can only hope that its purchaser keeps its spirit alive in some form or another. If you are reading this and you have $600,000+, please think twice before purchasing those 8,511 pairs of Nikon Action 8x40 binoculars you’ve had your eyes on.