Jeepers! Matador Releases (Gosh and Golly!) Expanded Wowee Zowee! Shucky Darn!

Since David Berman’s been all kinds of awesome with the Silver Jews lately, you gotta wonder what the fuck Stephen Malkmus is doing. Staring at a wall? Wondering if he’s to blame for boys in girls’ pants? Sometimes an indie rock icon gets depressed.

Enter Matador Records, accompanied by various trumpets and patchy facial hair... issuing a proclamation from an unnecessarily long piece of parchment: On November 6, there shalt be a third installment in the biannual Pavement deluxe reissue series. I dub thee, sir: Wowee Zowee: Sordid Sentinels Edition!

Of course, this “series” can only last as long as the Pavement catalog... and Matador still lists ’em on the “Active Roster”... !!! Wink, nudge?

Either way, loyal minions shall be graced with a buttload of liner notes, live tracks, outtakes, etceteree, etcetera. Oh, we ain’t kidding.

Tracklist... check it.

Disc 1:

1. We Dance
2. Rattled By The Rush
3. Black Out
4. Brinx Job
5. Grounded
6. Serpentine Pad
7. Motion Suggests Itself
8. Father To A Sister Of Thought
9. Extradition
10. Best Friend's Arm
11. Grave Architecture
12. AT & T
13. Flux = Rad
14. Fight This Generation
15. Kennel District
16. Pueblo
17. Half A Canyon
18. Western Homes
19. Sordid [previously unreleased Wowee Zowee session outtake]
20. Brink Of The Clouds [Rattled By La Rush b-side]
21. False Skorpion [Rattled By La Rush b-side]
22. Easily Fooled [Rattled By La Rush b-side]
23. Kris Kraft [Father To A Sister Of Thought b-side]
24. Mussle Rock [Father To A Sister Of Thought b-side]
25. Give It A Day [Pacific Trim EP]
26. Gangsters & Pranksters [Pacific Trim EP]
27. Saganaw [Pacific Trim EP]
28. I Love Perth [Pacific Trim EP]
29. Sentinel [previously unreleased Wowee Zowee session outtake]

Disc 2:

1. Sensitive Euro Man [I Shot Andy Warhol soundtrack]
2. Stray Fire [previously unreleased Wowee Zowee session outtake]
3. Fight This Generation [recorded March 3, 1994 at Hilversum, Holland]
4. Easily Fooled [recorded March 3, 1994 at Hilversum, Holland]
5. Soul Food [Wowee Zowee jam session w/Doug Easley on piano]
6. It's A Hectic World [from Homage To Descendents tribute album]
7. Kris Kraft [BBC in-studio; Steve Lamacq Evening Session, March 15, 1995]
8. Golden Boys/Serpentine Pad [BBC in-studio; Steve Lamacq Evening Session, March 15, 1995]
9. Painted Soldiers [BBC in-studio; Steve Lamacq Evening Session, March 15, 1995]
10. I Love Perth [BBC in-studio; Steve Lamacq Evening Session, March 15, 1995]
11. Dancing With The Elders [from Medusa Cyclone/Pavement split 7"]
12. Half A Canyon [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
13. Best Friend's Arm [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
14. Brink Of The Clouds/Candylad [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
15. Unfair [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
16. Eaily Fooled [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
17. Heaven Is A Truck [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
18. Box Elder [live; Wireless JJJ Radio, Australia, July 7, 1994]
19. No More Kings [from Schoolhouse Rock! Rocks comp]
20. Painted Soldiers [from Kids In The Hall In Brain Candy soundtrack]
21. We Dance (alternate mix) [previously unreleased Wowee Zowee session outtake]

Pernice Brothers Return This Week, Outline Brief Tour of States

With full facial hair, Joe Pernice looks alot like Walt Whitman, or Santa Claus. The first example is a fitting tribute considering that Pernice has become one of the more respected elder statesman of singer/songwriter fare. We may all still be waiting impatiently for the next Chappaquiddick Skyline LP, but Pernice is apparently happier recording and releasing Pernice Brothers records, and God bless him for it.

The band released Live A Little (Ashmont) this week, and it's another stellar offer by a band that has yet to mistep, going all the way back to 1998's delightful Overcome By Happiness (Sub Pop). Those lucky enough to pre-order the CD directly from Joe (Ashmont Records) were treated to an extra bonus disc loaded with demos and outtakes, or as referred to at the band's HQ, "the bonus/demo outtakes thingie." The CD boasted songs Pernice recorded at home and later re-worked or "edited the living shit out of."

The Brothers Pernice have a short tour planned to coincide with the LP's release, set to begin November 7.

Where Would I Be If I Was A Screwdriver?:

11.07.06 - Detroit, MI - Lager House *
11.09.06 - Chicago, IL - Schubas *
11.10.06 - Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon *
11.16.06 - Seattle, WA - Tractor Tavern *
11.17.06 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge *
11.21.06 - San Francisco, CA - Cafe du Nord *
11.22.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland *
12.06.06 - Washington, DC - Black Cat *

* w/ Elvis Perkins

Live A Little tracklist:

1. Automaton
2. Somerville
3. Cruelty To Animals
4. Zero Refills
5. Microscopic View
6. How Can I Compare
7. B.S. Johnson
8. PCH One
9. Conscience Clean (I Went To Spain)
10. Lightheaded
11. High As A Kite
12. Grudge Fuck

Bill Nguyen Consults With Super Friends at the Hall of Justice, Saves WOXY

WOXY has all kinds of good karma. It must be in the radio waves. Oh wait, I mean, the internet tubes. Or whatever. As you may remember, just two years ago, the Cincinnati-based station ceased its broadcast on the FM dial. A couple of anonymous investors stepped up to the plate in the 12th hour to launch what would become a popular online station. Well, just last month, it looked like WOXY would finally come to an end due to a lack of revenue. But days later, once again, there was a glimmer of hope — entrepreneur Bill Nguyen posted a message on the heavily trafficked WOXY message board about his desire to "save the station." While it was originally believed to be a cruel tease, within days, Nguyen was in Cincinnati where he met with WOXY staff members, anonymous investers, and many of the station's listeners.

According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, Nguyen's plan is to not only invest $5 to 10 million into WOXY in order to keep the station's headquarters in Cincinnati, but also to set up studios in San Francisco and other cities for live performances. Additionally, Nguyen intends to improve the quality of the broadcast and make it free for all listeners once again. He wants to give full editorial control to the station's DJs, as well as give listeners the chance to create their own radio shows that they can share with other listeners.

"What we want to do is give radio back to the listeners," The Cincinnati Enquirer quoted Nguyen.

If Nguyen's name sounds familiar, it should. He is behind LaLa.com, a fledgling online cd-trading service. The user-friendly service allows members to list CDs they have and CDs they want. Each CD sent to you off your "want list" costs you $1.75. Simple enough, eh? The site also recently launched a music store, which WOXY listeners will have access to, as well.

Witnesses of Nguyen's visit to Cincinnati remarked that he wore blue tights and a red cape. They figured it was probably best to just keep quiet about it, though. Afterall, he had no super powers. Just keen business sense and the bank to make things happen. Kinda like Batman.

My Morning Jacket Suitable For Fall Tour, Bring Scarf Just In Case

From The RCA Marketing Department:

Re: Brainstorm promo ideas for My Morning Jacket's just released double-disc live CD, Okonokos and forthcoming DVD, Okonokos, out October 31. (We must remember that these are two separate products).

- Put every CD (except MMJ) in wrong place at your local Big Box store
- Profile in Facial vs. Head Hair Magazine
- Fly a bunch of bloggers out to wine & dine them, then let them experience MMJ live in hi-tech theatre (the Zune effect)
- Get band own reality/prank show, titled MM Jack't
- Pizza party
- Give away free reverb with every purchase
- Make sure articles written about band contain sub-Cracked style jokes

- Fall Tour:

10.23.06 - San Francisco, CA - Palace of Fine Arts (Jim James solo) %
10.24.06 - San Francisco, CA - Palace of Fine Arts (Jim James solo) %
10.27.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Wilshire Ebell Theater (Jim James solo) %
10.28.06 - Santa Barbara, CA - Arlington Theater (Jim James solo) %
10.29.06 - Las Vegas, NV - Vegoose (Jim James solo) %
11.09.06 - Charleston, SC - The Plex *
11.10.06 - Knoxville, TN - Tennessee Theater *
11.12.06 - Atlanta, GA - The Tabernacle *
11.13.06 - Nashville, TN - Ryman Auditorium *
11.15.06 - New Orleans, LA - House Of Blues *
11.16.06 - Dallas, TX - Gypsy Tea Room *
11.17.06 - Dallas, TX - Gypsy Tea Room *
11.18.06 - Austin, TX - Stubb’s *
11.20.06 - St. Louis, MO - The Pageant *
11.21.06 - Milwaukee, WI - The Riverside *
11.22.06 - Louisville, KY - Louisville Gardens #
11.24.06 - Chicago, IL - Riviera Theater #
11.25.06 - Indianapolis, IN - Clowes Hall #
11.27.06 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club #
11.28.06 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club #
11.30.06 - New York, NY - Roseland Ballroom #
12.01.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Electric Factory #
12.02.06 - Boston, MA - Avalon Ballroom #

% w/ John Prine
* w/ Wax Fang
# w/ The Slip

Popfest! New England 2006 Totally Ripping Off Panic! At The Disco

Once, when I was a little child, I used to have terrible obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I couldn't wear any shirts with tags, I had to have long socks and have them pulled all the way up at all times, I wouldn't eat any types of cheese until I became a teenager, and I constantly winked one eye. The eye-winking twitch presented a unique problem.

I was really just a superficially confident, yet inwardly insecure high school student who loved talking to people, especially girls. But because of my twitch, any girl I tried talking to would immediately stop talking to me because they'd assume that I only wanted to get in their pants. I tried explaining, "It's not my fault, I swear! I have this tic where I have to wink one eye so that it catches up and feels like it is equal in amount of blinks with the other eye because I'm obsessive-compulsive!" But no one would listen. It was somewhat pitiful, actually. (It's not like I'm self-pitying or anything.) I only wanted to have lots of friends and just as many girls-who-are-friends. I didn't want to get into a relationship or anything because truthfully, the idea of a relationship with an attractive female is superior to the reality of said relationship. But girls didn't understand. They would try to fit me into their stereotype of what a horny teenage male was like. They assumed I wanted to use them to get off, but I was a sensitive boy with emotional needs. They didn't understand that simply romanticizing what an intimate relationship would be like was enough for me. Also, masturbating — preferably while imagining this emotionally complex, cherished, and hopelessly romantic connection with the girls who wouldn't be my friends.

In other news, Popfest! New England 2006 is taking place this year from Friday, October 6 to Sunday, October 8 in Northampton, MA. All shows are taking place at The Elevens, sadly a 21+ venue that won't let all you other hopelessly romantic teenage masturbators in the door. A one-day pass will cost you $10, while a three-day pass will cost, surprisingly, $30. Wow. A total of 26 cutesy, loving twee, cuddlecore, dancelove, artkiss, pre-fuck, post-relationship bands will help you get over your dating woes and social awkwardness in a weekend of pure joy.

LINE-UP!:

Friday, October 6:

Ponies in the Surf

Beauty Sleep

Palomar

Spouse

My Teenage Stride

The Icicles

The Butterflies of Love

Saturday, October 7:

The L'il Hospital

School for the Dead

The Antiques

The Besties

The Smittens

Locas in Love

Dyrdin

Human Television

Sunday, October 8 (4 PM Afternoon Show):

The Sawtelles

Polar Bear Parade

Panda Riot

Surefire Broadcast

Sunday, October 8 (Evening Show):

Hands and Knees

The Specific Heats

The Brother Kite

Bunnygrunt

Math and Physics Club

The Snow Fairies

Secret Shine

Flaming Lips Re-Release At War With the Mystics With a Bonus DVD; Don’t They Know They’re Killing Music By Adding Images? What’s Next, Concerts With Movie Screens?

I know I’ve got my work cut out for me if I’m gonna defend this year's Flaming Lips album, At War With the Mystics [TMT Review] in any way, shape, or form, but hey, I’m a wild and crazy girl! I got in a few tangles over this disc, but I stand my ground: “Vein of Stars” is a silvery little piece of heaven and when these jams aren’t making me do a little Steve Zissou dance, they’re knocking me flat with their spaced-out beauty. Hey! Stop saying how much it sucks! Every time you state your case, the more I'll punch you in the face!

So, here’s the part where you make pretty and sit nervously in your pink bedroom. Yes sir, the Lips are puckering up, politely ringing the doorbell, and presenting you with a jacked-up edition of At War With the Mystics. Not only do they hold the door for you, but they slip you sweet outtakes like "Why Does It End?," "You've Got To Hold On," "Your Face Can Tell the Future," "The Gold in the Mountain of Our Madness," "Time Travel?? Yes!!" and a cover of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." Okay, you’re totally crushin’ by now, but what if they throw in some live radio tracks, like a mashup of Sonic Youth's "Unmade Bed" and Led Zeppelin's "No Quarter”? Oh baby, it’s on.

Throw in a DVD disc of music videos and a clip of Wayne Coyne’s 2006 commencement address for his former high school, and you’ll be out for ice cream sodas in no time. Yes, you’re in love now (as you rightfully should be) and no, you don’t need to thank me. Just send me flowers of gratitude on October 24.

Futureheads Fall Tour Update

Using words from a statement posted on the band's website, I will try to convey a secret message to the masses.1

Tendonitis

On2

United States of America

Rest

Can see3

Apologies

Next given opportunity

Cancel

Enable4

Left wrist

Late stage

Edyh, yarrb5, 6

Development

1. Kind of gimmicky, I know.
2. Man, I am already stretching, and I'm only on the second letter
3. They all can't make sense.
4. Weak!
5. Has Tendonitis and the tour is cancelled.
6. Inverted names, double weak!!

Fall Tour 2006:

10.04.06 - Seattle, WA - Neumos
10.05.06 - Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom
10.06.06: -Sacramento, CA - Harlow’s Night Club
10.07.06 - San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine
10.09.06 - San Diego - House of Blues
10.11.06 - Los Angeles - Safari Sam’s (Check Yo Ponytail)
10.12.06 - Tempe, AZ - The Clubhouse
10.13.06 - Las Vegas, NV - Beauty Barr
10.14.06 - Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theater
10.17.06 - Tulsa, OK - Bob’s (Cain’s Ballroom)
10.18.06 - Lawrence, KS - The Bottleneck
10.19.06 - St. Louis, MO - Mississippi Nights
10.21.06 - Chicago, IL - Metro
10.22.06 - Cincinnati, OH - 20th Century Theater
10.23.06 - Indianapolis, IN - Birdy’s
10.24.06 - Nashville, TN - Exit/In
10.26.06 - Baltimore, MD - Sonar
10.27.06 - Brooklyn, NY - Warsaw
10.28.06 - Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club

McDonald’s Trials New Media Concept; McRib Cries and McDiarrhea Ensues

It is always like McDonald's to do some hardcore experimenting. I recall the excitement when the first ever "McDiner" opened in our small town of Kokomo, Indiana. Everywhere one would go, they would hear immense gossip like, "Are they really going to have diner food at McDonald's?" You bet your silly ass they did. They had some of the best mashed potatoes I had ever tasted. And you haven't lived my friend until you have had a McSteak or a McLobster. Yeah, we were all putting on the ritz and having the time of our lives until the inevitable occurred. The experiment failed, and all stupid ideas must come to an end eventually.

This brings me to McDonald's current experiment in Schaumburg, Illinois, at its Woodfield Mall location where an in-store media concept is being trialed. Thanks to Akoo, the experiment will allow any poor sap to play his/her music of choice in a designated area of the restaurant using a mobile phone, laptop, WiFi-enabled device, or telepathy. Someone who gets paid way too much to come up with these things is dubbing the concept, m-Venue. The catch is that the customer will be lucky enough to skim through a "vast" selection of on-demand music and video content offered from Sony BMG Music Entertainment, Universal Music Group, and others with the grand opportunity to "pay to play."

Of course, the concept is meant to be like a jukebox of the future. But let's face the fact that some douche will ruin this. And I'm not implying that the concept isn't already a shit-in-the-pants waiting to happen, but maybe it could have been "neato." This further brings me back to my glory hole days — um, glory days — when I went to a little Italian establishment with one lone jukebox. I felt the Holy Ghost spring through my entire body once I noticed the jukebox sign, "$20 for 100 plays." I thought that it had to be some sort of mistake, but it was as if God lowered his hairy right hand from the heavens to hand me a $20 bill and whisper into my ear, Go ahead, Greg. Play "Skat Man" 100 times! And so "Skat Man" became the anthem of the night until the place got robbed later that evening. One lady got shot in the arm. I shit you not. She messed up my order though.

My point, if there is a point to all of this, is that someone will easily play "Sweet Home Alabama" a dozen times and hog the technology just as Fonzie did. John O'Keefe, owner and Mayor McCheese of Shaumburg, claims that since the opening of m-Venue the restaurant's sales have risen 17% compared to sales from last year. So does this mean that e-Venue is a success? With ten multimedia flat-panel screens, one may infer this concept to drive novelty appeal until people stop caring, and then the realization of wasted money occurs. I'm not trying to be biased here. I am just speaking from experience. Another crazy concept would be to have live music at McDonald's. But who would really want to listen to other peoples' crap? I'm just going to stay happy with my Café McDonald's that has a piano that plays by itself. I fucking love that piano.

Is Your Sex Life Experiencing a Slump? Try The All-New Product Hip-Hop™!

Are you finding yourself cold and lonely in an empty bed? Have you wondered why it is that you, an attractive individual in his/her mid-'20s with an excellent job and great looks, have not been able to engage in sexual relations?

Well, look no further!

An all-new product, imported from the depths of the Bronx and the heart of downtown LA has changed lives all over the world! And you could be one of them! Hip-Hop™ is a medication taken aurally, and when administered, this life-changing product can increase the number of sexual partners an individual has by as much as 38%, according to a recent study by Reuters.

That's right! You could find yourself in bed with not just one person, but perhaps two, or maybe even three! That's right! You too could be a promiscuous whore! All you need is a little Hip-Hop™, or even our diet product, Dance Music™, which is also said to increase the number of sexual partners an individual has by as much as 29%, with lower fat and less calories!

Act now, and we'll include our newest product, Classical Music™ as an added bonus! This revolutionary product has found an increase in the consumption of cannabis by 25% and an increase in magic mushrooms by 12%! With us, you'll be thinking that violin is making the color purple in no time!

Don't hesitate! Pick up your Hip-Hop™ today, and get your free Classical Music™!

Side effects of Hip-Hop™ or Dance Music™ may include, but are not limited to, a potential for increased criminal activity by roughly 50%. Classical Music™ should not be used while operating heavy machinery or while attempting to utilize the features of Hip-Hop™ or Dance Music™. Users who have mixed products have experienced side-effects such as loss of sexual attraction and a decrease in social interaction.

Results may vary. To submit your own experience with our products, please visit http://www.musicaltastetest.com.

The Album Leaf Tour After New Album Veers Violently Into Hip-Hop-Style Collabs

So, the Album Leaf are apparently a band from whom we can expect pretty much the same thing on every album, right? Well, apparently not. Word has it that their new release, Into the Blue Again — simultaneously a reference to Talking Heads' classic "Once in a Lifetime" and an admission of a failure to innovate — is in fact their most daring piece of work yet.

With instrumental duties on the album turned over almost exclusively to the band's only real member, James Lavelle, the sounds found on their new slice of shellac are unlike anything we've come to expect. Gone are the soft keyboard tones and rock-solid drum loops found on the Sigur Ros-aided In a Safe Place. In come collaborations with Richard Ashcroft, Mike D, Badly Drawn Boy, and Thom Yorke, amongst others. The album flits from song-to-song, in a schizophrenic but increasingly measured way, culminating in the moody "Bunny in Your Flashers," featuring one of Yorke's most affecting vocals. It certainly puts The Eraser in its place.

The Album Leaf will be falling all over the place this autumn:

10.05.06 – San Diego, CA – Museum of Contemporary Art
10.08.06 – Los Angeles, CA – Troubadour
10.18.06 – Phoenix, AZ – Rhythm Room
10.20.06 – Austin, TX – Parish
10.21.06 – Houston, TX – Proletariat
10.22.06 – Denton, TX – Hailey’s
10.23.06 – Baton Rouge, LA – Chelsea’s
10.24.06 – Birmingham, AL – BottleTree
10.25.06 – Tallahassee, FL – Club Downunder (FSU)
10.26.06 – W. Palm Beach, FL – Respectable Street
10.27.06 – Orlando, FL – Social
10.28.06 – Tampa, FL – Orpheum
10.29.06 – Atlanta, GA – The Earl
10.30.06 – Charlotte, NC – The Neighborhood Theater
11.01.06 – Philadelphia, PA – Jonny Brenda’s
11.02.06 – New York, NY – Bowery Ballroom (CMJ)
11.03.06 – Washington, DC – Rock and Roll Hotel
11.06.06 – Brooklyn, NY – North Six
11.07.06 – Cambridge, MA – Middle East Downstairs
11.08.06 – Montreal, PQ – Main Hall
11.09.06 – Toronto, ON – Lee’s Palace
11.10.06 – Buffalo, NY – Big Orbit’s Soundlab
11.11.06 – Ann Arbor, MI – Blind Pig
11.12.06 – Chicago, IL – Lakeshore Theater
11.13.06 – Minneapolis, MN – 400 Bar
11.16.06 – Seattle, WA – Chop Suey
11.17.06 – Vancouver, BC – Plaza Club
11.18.06 – Portland, OR – Doug Fir Lounge
11.19.06 – Euguene, OR – W.O.W. Hall
11.21.06 – San Francisco, CA – The Independent