Bet you thought you had the upper hand on EMI, didn't you? You clever little Sony Acid Pro superstar! Well, serves you right — they're gonna one-up your garbage mix of Eric Clapton's "I Shot The Sheriff" vs. Wolf Eyes' "Stabbed In The Face" with an official album of mash-ups by the notorious, world-renowned Go Home Productions.
Okay, so I hadn't heard of Go Home Productions before either. But apparently Mark Vidler must have given those sexy EMI execs some very good cunningulus/fellatio action, as he gets the official "it's okay" stamp of approval for his album of synchronized songs.
The album, the aptly titled Mashed, is set to feature such pairings as Blondie with The Doors, Kelis with Duran Duran, and my personal favorite, Iggy Pop with Peggy Lee. This CD will be different than the "usual" mashup stuff, as it won't be as heavily dance-influenced, a la 2manydjs or Danger Mouse. Instead, it will just be a bunch of songs you already know being played at the same time.
But man, what an awe-inspiring album title. I feel a little ripped off, though, as I was planning on naming my new potato concept album Mashed, and now I'm left holding the bag.
You maniacs! You ruined everything! Damn you, Go Home Productions! Damn you all to hell!
Nobody on the road. No one's even on the beach. And the fucking Eagles signed a goddamned deal with Wal-Mart. I knock on your door. I know nobody's home. Your gramma calls it Wally World. But, damn girl. I can still see your brown skin shining in the sun. You had those sunglasses on. Shit. Goddamned hair combed straight fucking back. Remember when Dylan signed that one deal with Starbucks? Public Enemy with Best Buy? Sounds like an industry trend. Take note. I can't tell you I'll still be in love with you, though, after those dudes are gone. What does that even mean? Corporate goat fuck. Is that a fucking Dead Head sticker on a Cadillac? God's miserable teeth! This isn't even an Eagle’s song! Corporate goat fuck. Industry trend! Shining in the sun!
Step 1: copy-paste dates into Notepad file.
11-24-2006 New York NY Irving Plaza
11-25-2006 Philadelphia PA Theatre of Living Arts
11-26-2006 Washington DC 9:30 Club
11-27-2006 Charlottesville VA Satellite Ballroom
11-28-2006 Atlanta GA Variety Playhouse
11-30-2006 Fort Worth TX Ridglea Theater
12-01-2006 Austin TX Austin Festival
12-02-2006 New Orleans LA House of blues
12-03-2006 Tallahassee FL The Beta Bar
12-04-2006 Orlando FL The Club at Firestone
12-07-2006 Miami FL Churchills Pub
Step 2: Ctrl+h (replace "-" with ".")
Step 3: Ctrl+h (replace "2006. " with "06 - ")
Step 4: Manually add "-" between location and venue
Step 5: italicize
Step 6: send to TMT; they publish anything
11.24.06 - New York NY - Irving Plaza
11.25.06 - Philadelphia PA - Theatre of Living Arts
11.26.06 - Washington DC - 9:30 Club
11.27.06 - Charlottesville VA - Satellite Ballroom
11.28.06 - Atlanta GA - Variety Playhouse
11.30.06 - Fort Worth TX - Ridglea Theater
12.01.06 - Austin TX - Austin Festival
12.02.06 - New Orleans LA - House of blues
12.03.06 - Tallahassee FL - The Beta Bar
12.04.06 - Orlando FL - The Club at Firestone
12.07.06 - Miami FL - Churchills Pub
posted by crowell
Mark E. Smith's prolificacy through the years has been simply bananas, no?
(And I'm not just talking about PEEL Sessions!!!) With all the excitement and controversy still bubbling from their most recent tour, The Fall have decided to release a new album in early 2007, entitled Reformation. No tracklist or details about the content yet, but it's rumored that Ben Folds will play piano on none of the tracks.
Also planned are two Fall-related books; the first is the autobiographical Renegade: The Gospel According To Mark E. Smith, which may have actual spittle-and-beer stains on select pages, while the second is Perverted By Language: Fiction Inspired By The Fall, which is a collection of fiction inspired by The Fall. Though the latter book won't be out until June 28, TMT has acquired a fake advance copy and is pleased to offer a short excerpt:
The Man Whose Head Expanded
It was a dark and stormy night. E. G. Cunningham pulled into his driveway at 9:30 PM, much like any other night. He removed his keys from the ignition and dropped them into his suit pocket, much like any other night. In fact, everything that happened to Mr. Cunningham on that dark and stormy night was precisely the same as any other night of his life. Precisely the same, that is, except for one sinister difference. On that particular dark and stormy night, E. G. Cunningham had a horrible secret of the most jaw-dropping magnitude.
Cunningham exited his vehicle and opened the front door to greet his beautiful wife, but something suddenly gave him pause. E. G. Cunningham could not get through the front door. Luckily, his wife was not only beautiful but pragmatic, and in minutes a solution was reached: Cunningham would enter through the side window. Dinner was already set on the table as he stepped into the dining room, and his wife trembled as she ladled fresh soup into his bowl. Before the spoon was even brought to his lips, Cunningham's cranium had suddenly expanded to the size of a baby rhinoceros.
"Why... why is this happening to me?" he wailed. "What have I done to deserve such treatment?"
"You sad, sad man," his wife whispered into his ear, an ear now the size of an adult rhinoceros. "Did you really believe I'd never find out about your child pornography ring?"
"No... no, I can explain, honey!" he shrieked. "Honey no... put that safety pin down... you can't do this to me. You can't do this to E.G. Cunningham!" And with that, he became the man whose head... exploded. All over the walls. His funeral was a simple affair attended by few, and in weeks his wife was married to Mark E. Smith, who meats her.
Surprise, surprise: Vivendi's Universal Music has received U.S. antitrust approval to acquire BMG Music Publishing, in an estimated $2.09 billion deal. (Shit, that's a lot of Egg McMuffins.) What does this mean? It means that Universal could potentially own 22% of the publishing market, which would essentially combine (1) the world's third largest music publisher and largest independent music publisher with (2) the world's fourth largest publishing company that already owns and administers more than 1 million copyrights. (Try to guess which one's which!) This would create the world's largest publishing company, just beating out EMI.
But, don't worry, you optimistic mealworm! Because here comes IMPALA, the pan-European independent labels/publishers group that successfully overturned the EC's approval of the Sony BMG merger!! Can IMPALA come to the rescue and provide some valuable input to the EU's investigation!? Will IMPALA be able to convince the inhabitants of Earth that a merger could lead to "prejudice in terms of collecting societies, online licensing, synchronisation markets, and the restrictive impact on songwriters and artists"!? The IMPALA members are currently in consultation with each other and we should hear back soon. C'mon, they've gotta prove the U.S. wrong! They've just gotta.
THIS JUST IN: ARTISTS STILL FUCKED
My sophomore year of college, I lived across the street from a fraternity house. No, it wasn't this pack of bigots, though I'm embarrassed to say that it was at the same institution. Anyway, like most frat guys, they were really into drinking beer shirtless on their front porch, with music blaring and barbecues blazing. Hey, whatever floats your boat, right? Well, no. Not when your boat is pumping Jimmy Buffet loud enough for all of Baltimore hear. Saturday after Saturday, my roommates and I were jolted awake by the pseudo-calypso strains of "Margaritaville," "Cheeseburger in Paradise," and all the other food-and-drink-themed classics. And when they got tired of that? "Sweet Home Alabama."
While I'm free associating, I might as well let you know that Jimmy Buffet has decided to sue some dude for copyright infringement. Apparently that dude, named Robert Akard, owns a site called Under One Hut, where you can buy all types of latter-day frat guy accoutrements, from crisp, khaki shorts to beach-themed home accessories. Listen, don't barf yet — it gets better. So the dude's web site is selling some Jimmy Buffet merch, apparently without permission from the Buffmeister. Interested? Well, for $16, this little beauty can be yours.
This kind of makes me nervous that Jimmy Buffet is going to sue TMT for adapting his lyrics to last month's news story. That would be really sad, because then Mr P would be totally penniless and have to go live in a box. Whoa, that's depressing. Please, Jimmy Buffet, for the love of all things tequila-infused, have a heart! Don't take away Mr. P's home!!!
So, it goes like this. Mazarin, the psychedelic rock band from Philadelphia that has toured with The Walkmen, Rogue Wave, and more over the last 10 years or so, were given a cease-and-desist letter from some '70s rock never was-ers, also called Mazarin, who claim to be the "Rock and Roll Legends of Long Island." According to the band's web site, they didn't want to fight the "L.I. Legends" and have decided to give up the name.
After December 2, the band that released Watch It Happen (1996), Tall-Tale Story Line (2001), and We're Already There (2005) will no longer be called Mazarin. They are not breaking up exactly, as they state later on the site, "Quentin Stoltzfus (and every contributing member to have ever played in Mazarin) is still making music with every intention of making it available to you, in time!" Since Stoltzfus wrote all the songs and has pretty much been the only constant in the band, all and all, the name seems fairly inconsequential.
Their last "Mazarin" show will be in Philadelphia, on December 2. The band will be taking e-mail requests, through their site, for what songs they should play during the show. Please, drunk-asshole-who-will-scream-all-night-for-them-to-play-"Chasing The Girl," save everyone the discomfort and just put it in an e-mail or two, or one-hundred, whatever it takes. As one final consolation, the band has put up their last "Mazarin" song, "Your Advice" on their MySpace page as a free download.
12.02.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s *
* w/ Public Record and Beat Jams
MySpace, a site owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., has decided to disallow copyrighted music from being uploaded to its member pages. Reported in The Globe and Mail, MySpace will use "audio fingerprinting" to filter copyrighted material. The site will check uploaded songs against Gracenote's database. From the article: "'MySpace is staunchly committed to protecting artists' rights, whether those artists are on major labels or are independent acts,' said Chris DeWolfe, MySpace chief executive and co-founder."
I was going to spend much of my TMT space elaborating on the story, but I started reading some of the comments posted after the article. Not that you have to travel far, or at all, to find someone who is frustrated with copyrights and music rights, but the debate on The Globe and Mail is especially telling.
goofy fathead wrote: "im not going to use myspace then. i pay 40 bucks a month to my cable company, that should entitle me to download what i want, when i want, and share what i want as well."
Rick Czarnota wrote: "You are entitled to nothing more than being able to access the website. Why do you... seem to think you should have access to a product for free?"
Mark H. wrote: "Every good thing sells out. I am not in any way infringing on the rights of the people who 'own' the content (It's not property, I can't write a letter to data, or transport it without media, or grab it out of the air). Hell, it's free freakin' advertising. Posting is not stealing. It's just attaching a different url to a datastream."
We are saturated by intellectual property these days, with iPods, Walkmens, video iPods, home studios, DV cameras, and home-editing suites. Companies are doing A LOT to get us the media we want. They have to do it under the letter of the law, and really, why should they do it any other way? Mark H's comment that MySpace has sold out just means that they are large enough to show up on the radar of law enforcers. Google removed copyrighted material from YouTube because that site, like MySpace, is a distributor of content. Saying, "it's just attaching a different url to a datastream" is, like most arguments against copyright, circumventing the obvious: "owned" media displayed without consent. It sucks, but it's the cost of doing business. And it is a business.
Perhaps we should be discussing what constitutes intellectual property or copyrightable material and how one might go about "owning" it. Go to an AMC-owned movie theater and see that they've made "Silence is Golden" a registered trademark. What about the aggressive campaigns to patent animals, plants, and even human DNA? And did you know Time Warner owns the song "Happy Birthday to You"? How are these any less objetionable than filtering out copyrighted music? How are they more? These topics are important, and it is more important that we all take a step back and count where we stand on privatization, copyrights, and intellectual property. Argue against MySpace and Google, but do it because that is what you believe, not because you want to save a few bucks. Let's debate in earnest. I know where I stand. Do you know where you stand?
Great news loyal TMT readers! Your Clear Channel stock has already risen 5% since this morning, after the lovable and huggable Clear Channel announced an agreement to be acquired by a private investor group for $18.7 billion (approx. $26.7 billion plus an assumed $8 billion debt). The Clear Channel board of shareholders unanimously approved the merger agreement, and a special advisory committee of disinterested directors unanimously deemed the transaction to be fair, which means shareholders like you will receive $36.70 per share! Not bad for doing nothing at all.
So why is Clear Channel doing this? Let's see what it had to say in its SEC (Security and Exchange Commission) regulatory filing:
"The Board believes that these decisions are in the best interest of our shareholders. As you know, our Company outperforms the competition in every business in which we operate, but the public market has not appropriately valued our performance. The consortium has agreed to pay $37.60 per share to acquire the company, which is 25 percent greater than our average closing share price of $29.99 during the 30 trading days ended October 24, 2006, the day before the company first acknowledged that it was evaluating strategic alternatives."Clear Channel can still solicit competing bids from third parties (like us or Stylus) through December 7 and negotiate until January 5. Otherwise, the more than 1,100 radio stations and all those billboard and bus-stop ads will be acquired by Thomas H. Lee Partners, L.P. and Bain Capital Partners, LLC.
Current Clear Channel management, including the infamous Mays family, will continue to work for the company. And don't forget about their spin-off company Live Nation!
The $18.7 billion deal was in cash, so if you saw a couple suited douchebags shaking hands in front of a truck full of discreet suitcases, you totally missed your chance to congratulate them on a job well done and thank them for all those radio stations and advertisements.
It may be hard to believe, but there was a time when the mere mention of "Montréal" immediately prompted wistful thoughts of this [Shapes and Sizes look to be the latest act to receive the golden touch of luck that residency in Montréal brings].
Wait, I know what you're thinking: "Hey dicklick! Shapes and Sizes are from Vancouver, not Montréal!" Well, the Victoria-born and Vancouver-based group are now Montréal-bound, as the band have decided to pack up their gear and try their luck in "la belle province." Whether a change in home camp will result in success on the scale of century-long hockey glory or 1.5 month-long indie rock message-board talk is anyone's guess, but the quartet is having a plum year nevertheless.
Before setting up permanent headquarters, the band will head out on vacation, albeit a working one. Like so many Canadian "snowbirds," Shapes and Sizes will spend the cold month of December in the mostly agreeable U.S., touring in continued support of their summer smash debut album on Asthmatic Kitty, Shapes and Sizes. There should be plenty of new songs to hear as well, because they recently recorded their second album (tentatively due in the spring of 2007).
Before the sophomore effort hits both concrete and virtual stores, Asthmatic Kitty will be releasing a new single by the band, with a twist. The label will be launching its "Unusual Animals Series" on January 23 with the release of the first in a series of split 7-inch singles. As the title suggests, the goal is to pair seemingly unsimilar acts and perhaps highlight the more "experimental" side of the record co. Volume 1 has "Jinker/That Fat Hand" by, you guessed it, Shapes and Sizes paired with The Weird Weeds' "Hold in the Light." Future singles include Half-Handed Cloud splitting sides with Ariel Pink and a Castanets/Dirty Projectors disc. Each will be sleeved in designs by kinky illustrator and animator Jared Chapman. If you are allergic to vinyl or don't own a turntable, the songs in this series will be available for streaming on the Asthmatic Kitty website. The following shows will not, so you'll have to get out of your bedrooms and away from your computers to see 'em.
12.01.05 - Missoula, MT - The Loft
12.02.06 - Billings, MT - Venture Theatre
12.04.06 - Fargo, ND - Aquarium
12.05.06 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
12.06.06 - Madison, WI - Café Montmarte
12.07.06 - Chicago, IL - Beat Kitchen
12.08.06 - Urbana, IL - Courtyard Café *
12.09.06 - Columbus, OH - Andyman's Treehouse
12.10.06 - Covington, KY - Southgate House
12.11.06 - Muncie, IN - Village Green Records #
12.12.06 - Bloomington, IN - TBA
12.14.06 - Austin, TX - Emo's $
12.15.06 - Dallas, TX - The Roadhouse
12.16.06 - Odessa, TX - The Cavern
12.17.06 - Phoenix, AZ - Modified Arts %
12.19.06 - San Diego, CA - Che Café ^
12.20.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland
12.21.06 - San Francisco, CA - Botton of the Hill
# w/Arrah and The Ferns, This Story
$ w/The Weird Weeds
% w/Dressy Bessy
^ w/Bunky, Rafter and Friends