On behalf of the PETA organization, I hereby insist that you immediately cease and desist in your senseless, wanton, and ongoing character defamation of one of our most majestic and stately forest-dwelling friends and brothers, the humble Ruminantia Cervidae (that's "deer" to tragically uninformed laypeople such as yourselves).
This animal, one of God's most graceful and unassuming, has already been saddled with the brutal reality of man's careless encroachment into the wild, making him victim to constant automobile onslaughts and yearly Hunting Season massacres in America alone.
And now, your "rock and roll" (whatever that means these days!) band has the audacity to further persecute our noble friend, the deer, by attaching its otherwise pure name to the dissonant, spastic, and noisily-electric music of the devil. Sure, you may try to mask your pro-prog, anti-nature, deer-defaming agenda with clever, non-threatening album titles such as your most recent Friend Opportunity LP (TMT Review), but the facts don't lie. There is nothing friendly about your bizarre, shrill music. I can assure you that you have no friends at PETA.
Do you find it amusing to employ the name of this gentle mammal for your destructive musical ends? Are we to sit idly by while you promote the image of severed deer body parts, laughing all the way to the bank? Well, we at PETA can assure you that this is no laughing matter. Rest assured (especially you, Satomi Matsuzaki) that we will be urging our members and their families to boycott the following fall tourdates:
$ Bloc Party
* Release the Bats with The Liars, Black Lips, & Deerhunter
Which reminds me :
Assumption: The Octopus Project are thusly named because there are four normally limbed members, adding up to a total of eight arms.
Fact: There exists a two-part film, scored entirely by The Octopus Project, wherein a man is actually and accidentally attacked by a shark.
Assumption: The Octopus Project are releasing their new album, Avalanche October 9 through Graveface Records at least in part to atone for any slight involvement they had in the shark attack. Because they are nice.
Fact: The joke about a real life Octopus that is able to play music isn’t very good.
Assumption: The Octopus Project throw wonderful parties, inviting Black Moth Super Rainbow (with whom they collaborated on last year’s The House of Apples and Eyeballs) and Stereo Total (with whom they are touring much of eastern North America this fall.)
Fact: The Octopus Project should not be confused with The Arcturus Project in spite of the fact that they are both awesome and occasionally even sound similar.
Assumption: These will be fun events:
* Stereo Total
In an exciting bit of tour news, New York City band Liars are setting out on the road to support both their new, self-titled album (out August 28 on Mute) and their large-and-in-charge Big Apple brethren Interpol on an autumn journey. From the palace known as Madison Square Garden to the plains of Idaho, Liars will play hype-man to the goth-rock circus that is Interpol. Unfortunately, Angus Andrew and the boys aren't the only liars Interpol keep as company. Without further ado, the top 10 lies told in the presence of an Interpol member:
10. "The video for 'The Heinrich Maneuver is so exciting."
9. "So true; her stories ARE boring and stuff."
8. "You don't sound that much like Ian Curtis."
7. "Can you believe it? Three albums in and no one's sick of this yet!"
6. "Hey Paul, you should wait until all of the music dies down to bellow the title line to 'No I In Threesome.' It's a killer."
5. "Two months on tour and those suits still don't smell."
4. "Underage groupie girls usually keep their mouths shut."
3. "Carlos, that mustache is straight-up sexy!"
2. "Sun exposure is overrated anyway."
1. "Cocaine should follow ecstasy like sleep follows masturbation."
I kid, of course. In other Liars news (the band, not the enablers), the Patrick Daughters-directed video for the album's first single "Plaster Casts of Everything" can be seen here and features a cameo from Karen O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs fame.
From NBC/Universal's general counsel in a recent anti-piracy FCC hearing
“Because of our nation’s interlocking economy, two-thirds of the lost earnings and lost jobs [due to piracy] are in industries other than motion picture production. For example, in the absence of movie piracy, video retailers would sell and rent more titles. Movie theatres would sell more tickets and popcorn. Corn growers would earn greater profits and buy more farm equipment.”
That's the joke.
While Lollapalooza Is Sponsored By The Awesome Folks At AT&T, Other Festivals Who Aren’t Sponsored By The Awesome Folks At AT&T, Like The Treasure Island Music Festival, Promote Green Initiatives
Noise Pop and Another Planet Entertainment are presenting the first annual Treasure Island Music Festival this September 15-16. They have a pretty fucking impressive line-up for the first year -- Modest Mouse, M.I.A., Spoon, etc. -- but that's unsurprising since the festival is being put on by the same homies behind the Noise Pop Festival. It'll be the first-ever music festival to occur on Treasure Island, a man-made island which was originally created to be the grounds for the 1939 World's Fair.
The fact that it's on Treasure Island is impressive and all, but what about the acts? The first day, Saturday, will be focusing more on electronic- and dance-oriented acts, whereas Sunday will focus on, well, less electronic- and dance-oriented acts. So how 'bout that lineup?
If that list isn't impressive enough for you, then lemme tell you about some of the green initiatives they're implementing. First off, to minimize the carbon footprint, they're providing school buses that are biodiesel and have 0% carbon emissions for transportation. Also to offset some of the emissions they can't prevent, they'll be purchasing wind energy credits and investing in methane projects through Native Energy. They'll also have tents set up to educate concert goers with simple tips on how to begin "going green" when they get back home. It really is incredible to see some of these festivals really caring about one of the biggest issues on our plates here on Earth, bringing art and activism together; that's how it should go down.
Alright, so you're probably excited for the festival now; you'll get to dance your ass off to some DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist and learn how to unplug your microwave to offset carbon emissions. So, how much is this festival? Well, single-day tickets cost $58.50 and two-day tickets cost $110. Personally, I think that's hella expensive for how small the festival is. However, I'll be honest with you; if I lived near California, I'd go.
For more information on The Treasure Island Music Festival check out their official website.
In August, the San Francisco-based combo Numbers (Indra Dunis, Dave Broekema, and Eric Landmark) come roaring back with a new record and a slew (slew > 25) of tourdates. Since Numbers have transcended the silly trapping of the dance-punk phenomenon, the future finds them roaming freely, not trapped in by expectations. The group has a new LP, Now You Are This scheduled to come out in the U.S. August 21 on Kill Rock Stars. It seems that marrying rough and rugged electronics with a skewed pop sound will once again be the band's M.O. This will be their second record for the label, fourth overall; the band's first two LPs were put out by Tigerbeat6.
Instant cliché: When a new record is released, a tour will surely follow. So true. The same week that their record is in stores, the band will embark on a trek across North America. This tour finds the band playing some places you don't find on most underground bands' schedules, including Jamaica Plains and Mexicali, Mexico. Not surprising in this instance, as Numbers have been known to defy expectations a time or two.
Now You Are This tracklist:
Jens Lekman To Release Disc, Tour; Then Back to Rehab After Cocaine Cop Caper With The Case of the Missing Pantaloons No Refund Hijicks Poopscapade
I know about Americans. Way too much, in fact. George Washington, Mister Rogers, even Lindsay Lohan. Everything. But what about Swedes? They have great healthcare, and ABBA was alright I suppose. But what else? Their public radio seems to be functioning well (I mean, if it plays dudes like Jens Lekman, it can’t be half bad, right?). You can tell a lot about a country through its radio. I’ve seen American Graffiti, so I know that Mexico pirated the airwaves over North America for many a years.
Now, Swedish radio. Do they syndicate the World Cafe with David Dye on every station? Or do Swedes opt for democratic variety? If I was the King of Sweden, we would know what they play and it’d be settled. (Now that you ask, I’d demand a constant loop of the best two hours of radio I’ve personally ever heard: 30 minutes of a live Elvis Costello concert, 20 minutes of early '90s dance music (Madonna, Ace of Bass, etc.), 40 minutes of David Dye and the World Cafe feat. M. Ward.) In Sweden, someday the government will mandate a station program just that, in perpetuity -- and I can milk free health care while basking alongside the Baltic Sea, Walkman tuned to David Dye.
And somewhere between Lohan, the Kind of Sweden, and an unhealthy obsession with David Dye is Jens Lekman. Swedish, young, beautiful, self-destructively reckless? Perhaps. Public radio savior? Maybe. Vier of affection and disseminator of charm? Possibly. Releaser of Night Falls over Kortedalaand tourer of cities? The world may never know.
New CD takes over Scandinavia, September 5; the rest of the world, October 9:
So Two Gallants walk into this bar, right? The third one ducks. No, come on, but seriously: these Two Gallants walk into a bar, sit down, order a couple drinks, and the bartender -- big guy, by the way, one of those rough n' tumble types, don't ask this guy how his day went, he'll either talk your ear off or bite it off -- so the bartender says to the Two Gallants, he says, "What'll it be?" First Gallant, he's like, "Something hard." Bartender's like, "Something hard?" and the first Gallant, he leans back in his chair and slams his boots up on the bar. "Something hard," he says. So the bartender gets him something hard alright -- he gets him the new Two Gallants EP, The Scenery of Farewell. "How's that for hard," he says, and balances it right on the first Gallant's boot.
So, the second Gallant's gettin' impatient, right? He's like, "I need a drink too, and that's not even a drink. That's our new EP from Saddle Creek, and it came out June 19. You can't drink a CD." So the bartender gets right up in the second Gallant's face, and he says, "I'll bet you $2,000 and the keys to my truck that I could drink your new EP faster than you could drink this bottle of rum." And like that, this bartender pulls out a huge bottle of rum from under the counter.
Second Gallant looks at the first for a second and then turns to the bartender, says, "Well obviously, that would take me forev--" but the bartender was already slamming back The Scenery of Farewell. Everyone else at the bar is looking at these Two Gallants like bartender's outsmarted 'em again, and then they start chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug!" and I swear, the bartender's three-quarters-of-the -way through with this EP, some of it's spilling on the floor, but he's getting most of it, and the bar's going nuts. These Two Gallants can't handle it; they just can't even watch it anymore, so they walk out into a swarm of mutated starving hornets, and they're never heard from again.
And that, Frank, is why your kind isn't welcome at this bar.
All dates supporting Against Me! (except last date)
If history has taught us anything, it is that people will go the extra mile attempting to prove the existence of mythical sea monsters despite conclusive proof to the contrary. Thousands of these legends have been reported throughout time and most have been proven to be hoaxes. But there is still something nagging about the tales. Every dreamer quietly wishes that these mutants actually tread the earth’s waters, living a peaceful but lonely life as (probably) the only type of its species to ever subsist.
Imagine if you will one of these creatures -- so mysterious and so camera shy -- taking the reverse-plunge and actually revealing itself, in front of a paying audience and playing awesome music no less! No longer will we have to rely on grainy, doctored photos of our favorite part marine dweller/part rabid fangster Sea Wolf, because he has announced more dates in the U.S. Shows started last week and continue sporadically into November. Fellow leviathans, coelacanths, and krakens are upset. They have been sending e-mails to Sea Wolf like, “don’t come ‘round here no more for any of that quickie aqua-love, nuh-uh bitch!” and “give me back my lawnmower I lent you... we are no longer friends.” Needless to say, it is harsh times being a freak of nature with high hopes of an easy integration into society at large, too. Meanwhile, cryptozoologists are creaming their Dockers at the prospect of finally seeing the once-mythical Sea Wolf on dry land. These hotshots are more rabid than paparazzi, so let us hope “Wolfie” doesn’t decide to disappear forever after this foray into the hearts and loins of American landlubbers.
No, there’s no real chance Alex Church -- the not-really-mythical Cali song-serpent who goes by the stage name of Sea Wolf -- will disappear too soon. He’s just getting started. After killing 'em softly with his talent on the Get To the River Before It Runs Too Low EP that was released earlier this year, Sea Wolf’s next release is ready to pop and will be a more lengthy exercise. The Sea Wolf debut album, Leaves in the River, will be out September 25 via the lovelies at Dangerbird Records. Heartfelt balladry, mini-epicness and whatever the hell hacks will throw into inevitably gushing reviews is expected. However you describe it, it works; Sea Wolf can warm up the strictest disparager’s black heart over with his wistful choons and chops. As if you won’t go to see this fabled beast playing live!
The Cold, The Dead, and the Tracklisting:
1 Leaves in the River
2 Winter Windows
3 Black Dirt
4 The Rose Curtain
5 Middle Distance Runner
6 You’re a Wolf
7 Song for the Dead
8 Black Leaf Falls
9 The Cold, the Dark & the Silence
10 Neutral Ground
See Sea Wolf:
07.26.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Hammer Museum
07.29.07 - Salt Lake City, UT - In the Venue *
07.30.07 - Denver, CO - Ogden Theatre *
08.01.07 - Omaha, NE - Slowdown *
08.02.07 - Boulder, CO - R&R Convention CHECK
08.04.07 - Lawrence, KS - Gaslight
08.06.07 - Toledo, OH - Frankie’s *
08.07.07 - Cleveland, OH - Agora Ballroom *
08.09.07 - Indianapolis, IN - The Vogue *
08.10.07 - Newport, KY - Southgate House *
08.11.07 - Chicago, IL - Chubas Tavern
08.18.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Sunset Junction
09.13.07 - Santa Barbara, CA - Soho Restaurant and Music Club
10.15.07 - Columbus, OH - The Basement #
10.16.07 - Cincinnati, OH - 20th Century Theatre #
10.17.07 - Louisville, KY - Jim Porter’s Good Time #
10.18.07 - Indianapolis, IN - Birdy’s #
10.20.07 - Chicago, IL - Schubas #
10.22.07 - St. Louis, MO - Gargoyle Club, Washington University #
10.23.07 - Nashville, TN - Exit In #
10.24.07 - Birmingham, AL - Bottletree #
10.26.07 - St. Petersburg, FL - State Theatre #
10.27.07 - St. Augustine Beach, FL - Café Eleven #
10.29.07 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt Club #
10.30.07 - Asheville, NC - Orange Peel #
10.31.07 - Carrboro, NC - Cats Cradle #
11.01.07 - Charlottesville, VA - Satellite Ballroom #
11.02.07 - Baltimore, MD - The 8 x 10 #
* Silversun Pickups
# Nada Surf
Simian Mobile Disco Do The Gorilaz Thing And Hide Their Faces As They Tour; Except They’ve Hired Real Monkeys To Play For Them
Writing really happening dance music is one thing, but getting some prime apes to play your tunes live is another. Everyone knows about those Gorillaz videos with cartoon monkeys, and they were really famous because of them. MTV didn't play those videos non-stop simply because the music was good; they played them because monkeys are fun to watch. James Ellis Ford and James Anthony Shaw have figured out that having monkeys in your band is the secret to success, and now they're taking it one step further.
Scientific evidence reveals that monkeys can already play Nickelback songs and some monkeys can even emulate Chad Kroeger's voice pretty well. So, why can't they be injected with steroids and other vitamins to be able to mix some of the ridiculous beats Simian Mobile Disco are dropping? Well they can, and this Fall they will. Here are some quotes I've been able to dig up on the subject:
"Yeah, we've been experimenting with monkeys, kind of like what the Wicked Witch of the West did in the Wizard of Oz, except we don't want our monkeys to have wings, we want them to have rhythm." -James Ellis Ford
"Most people think it's unethical to do this to the monkeys, but if monkeys are so similar to humans like all those scientists say, then isn't it apparent that their goal in life would be to reach rock stardom?" -James Anthony Shaw
"Our new album focuses on the ethical treatment of monkeys; we believe that we can coexist together in a world full of good music and simian peace." -Chad Kroeger
Obviously the views of "some" people are slightly varied, but James and James seem like caring human beings, and using monkeys to play your set while you sit backstage and pop ex with some groupies isn't really so bad. In fact, it's smart.
See the Simian Mobile Disco monkeys spin some crazy shit at these fine establishments: