Buck 65 to Tour, Sage Francis to Buy Him a Puppy [News Article]

Chin Up Chin Up to Tour: Me To Start Going to the Gym, Beating Up Aaron Carter for Beating Shaq [News Article]

Capitol Hill Gets All Up in David Banner's Grill, Banner Claims America Worships Golden Calf: Arnold [News Article]

Big Business to Kill Music by Reducing Shelf Space 20-40%, Wal-Mart to Ruin Everything [News Article]

Love of Diagrams to Tour; Love Triangle Between Dawson, Joey, and Pacey Remembered Fondly [News Article]

Rolling Stones Earn Biggest Bucks; You to Channel Frustration Over The Way Things Are Into a [News Article]

Pete Doherty and Shane MacGowan: New Roomies; To Get Wasted, Doherty To Always Lose House Key, MacGo [News Article]

Facebook: Formerly For Finding Hot Girls, Now For Selling Tickets to Hot Girls [News Article]

Marley Family to Sue Verizon and Universal, You Sleep Beside Me, I Am on a Train Leaving You as You [News Article]

Prince to “Reclaim the Internet” By Suing YouTube, eBay, and The Pirate Bay [News Article]

Ryan Adams Tourdates, Ryan Adams Needs a Date [News Article]

Metric Announces United States Tour Dates to Test New Material, So Many Memoriezzzzzz, Wooo... [News Article]

Keith Richards Attempts to Blindfold the World from the Truth, One Filthy Bandana at a Time; Demands [News Article]

New York Governor Signs "Truth in Music" Law, Sha Na Na Fans No Longer Discussing Theories on Multip [News Article]

Battles to Tour, TMT Newswriter AJ Pacitti to Keep Her Typically Dirty Mouth Shut out of Actual Resp [News Article]

Bill Callahan Tours with Sir Richard Bishop, Callahan and Bishop To Wear Matching Leisure Suits At B [News Article]

Atmosphere to Tour, Everybody to Love a Clown, Or Like a Clown as a Friend and Occasionally Hook Up [News Article]

Jason Collett Tours, Is Really, Honestly, Seriously, Making Worthwhile Commitments to Culture Withou [News Article]

Al Sharpton Spending His Life in a Figurative Knife Fight, Slashing At Commercial Hip-Hop [News Article]

YouTube To Host Amateur Hip-Hop Contest, P. Diddy to Watch, To Be Inspired by the Passionate Hip-Hop [News Article]