Excepter goes on tour, while my dad blasts Excepter from his 1994 Taurus every day of his life [News Article]

Christopher Owens leaves Girls. Well, where'd he leave them? HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. [News Article]

Woods name their new album Bend Beyond, 'cause you're gonna bend it to these hot new Woods tracks. Also, it's coming out in September. [News Article]

Future Islands, a.k.a. America's number one dreamboats, go on dreamy summer tour [News Article]

Corin Tucker announces new record Kill My Blues, stars in sketch comedy program Tucsonia, whoops, that last bit was from my dream journal [News Article]

Lightning Bolt are going on tour this fall, so it's time to learn all the lyrics: KRRSSH WAAAAUGHUAHH SMASH [News Article]

Archers of Loaf go on tour for the weekend, else the boss is gonna be maaaad [News Article]

Mount Kimbie sign to Warp Records, any day now they'll be riding bikes, going on dates, going off to college, dying [News Article]

Shellac to curate Winter ATP, Steve Albini to reshape fest as Albini Tomorrow's Parties [News Article]

Russian Circles announce world tour, proving that circles are the best shape of all time [News Article]

Madlib and Freddie Gibbs announce a new EP, Madgibbany that is actually titled Shame but should be titled Madgibbany [News Article]

Grimes announces Mythical Gymnastics tour, a tour named after its inclusion of the groups Myths and Elite Gymnatics. I think you get it. [News Article]

Zammuto adds a string of North American dates supporting Gotye, who I have never heard of; who is this Gotye? [News Article]

The xx announce new album called Coexist, absolutely whiff the opportunity to release a new album called Coexxist [News Article]

Lower Dens are going on tour, so break out the jorts [News Article]

RACES announce summer tour, racists announce summer stay inside and boil in their own repulsive hatred [News Article]

Lil B has released a classical album, so feign surprise for the next four minutes and then go on with your life [News Article]

Mastodon head to Europe for Festival of the Mastodon, discover that no such thing exists, play at other festivals instead [News Article]

Eternal Summers announce Correct Behavior LP for summer release, go on summer tour, cryogenically freeze themselves from September to June [News Article]

Planes Mistaken for Stars announce summer reunion tour, now feel your face and realize you've grown a beard [News Article]

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