Fiery Furnaces Across U.S. Deemed "Unsafe" by Officials [News Article]

"That's All, Folks!" Warner Considers Going Private [News Article]

Amazon Nation Announces Plans to Launch Attack, All Residents of Amie Street Urged to Evacuate Immed [News Article]

Menomena Phenomena! Third Time's the Charm, As Barsuk's Intrepid Troubadors Hog All of Earth's Highw [News Article]

Viva Vashti! Old Lady Bunyan Overcomes Unpalatably Podiatric Last Name Homophony to Release Rarities [News Article]

Deerhoof Hyper-extend Fall Tour, No Actual Deer Harmed [News Article]

Rough Trade Escapes Capture by Universal Music Group; Our Lives as Consumers Continue Unfettered, Te [News Article]

Decemberists to Play Series of Ireland and UK Dates This Fall, Colin Meloy's Stodgy Stuffed-Shirtedn [News Article]

Mike Skinner Drops His Creative Trans, The Streets Eat Their Feet and Discreetly Stretch Street Date [News Article]

Everyone's Favorite Non-Metallica Metal-Caricatures Megadeth to Kick Our Asses, Fuck Our Moms, Huff [News Article]

Jonathan Davis Ordered by God to Ressurect Superdrag, Also Commanded to Spit-up All of Those Feeling [News Article]

Some Handsome New Summer Newsom News: Joanna to Play Some Awfully Real UK and Europe Shows [News Article]

Múm Múmbles Something about A Tour and a New LP, But Mum's the Word... Promise?? [News Article]

Tim Kinsella to Leave the Neighborhood of Make Believe, Daniel Striped Tiger Relieved [News Article]

Guitar Center Inc. Goes Private, Tools of Musical Rebellion Now to be Sold Exclusively by The Man, B [News Article]

The New Pornographers Tour, Joe Francis Doesn't [News Article]

Dark Meat Pack Up Drumsticks and Wing Their Way Northward for Tender, Juicy Tour [News Article]

The Go! Team Go and Team Up With Sub! Pop [News Article]

Kelly Clarkson Hates Money, Loves Self, Inadvertently Becomes Litmus Test for Artist Integrity, Form [News Article]

A Spoon Full of Tour Dates Helps the Punnery Go Down, Fans Encouraged to Open Up and Say 'Ga!' [News Article]