♫♪  Back to the Future the Ride - Romance in the Castle of Voorhees

Brian Miller loves Halloween. Every October I get bombarded by his email blasts, signaling that the season is once again upon us. Usually they’re of the DIY Haunt variety, a labor of love Brian undertakes for LA/SoCal locals, and god bless him for that – you Californians should be thanking him without ceasing! But this year, we get a little extra treat in our email basket, a special nugget of spooky goodness that’s sure to add a little extra adrenaline to the sugar coursing through your veins. Or is it a trick, veering you down a path to horrific ruin at the hands of a deranged madman? Does the deranged madman wield an ax or a machete or chainsaw or some other implement of blunt murder? Does he wear a child’s hockey mask to obscure his constantly decomposing, ever-grossening face? Have you figured out what the hell I’m talking about yet?

Like a malevolent jack-o-lantern glowing fitfully from the porch of a haunted cabin, Miller has resurrected his Back to the Future the Ride moniker to broadcast an EP-length paean to our horror overlord, Jason Voorhees, from his Deathbomb Arc label. Less a rehash of the twelve films that we’ve already been subjected to, Romance in the Castle of Voorhees is a damaged electronic mindwarp into the heart of a homicidal monster, a nifty bit of sonic fanfic that predicts the future of the unkillable inhuman force. As everyone knows, the concept of “romance” anywhere near a Voorhees, castle or otherwise, is a supremely bad idea (just ask Kevin Bacon1). It’s even worse when the romance involves a Voorhees and a “bride of Voorhees,” alien witches, a “death” star of some sort, and an unholy offspring. I don’t even have to explain it – we can let the track titles do the heavy lifting!

1. Lord Voorhees sits upon his throne, ruling over a desolate world filled with the brittle bones of inhabitants long ago slain
2. Alien witches drift through the silent void of time, searching for the soul of Voorhees
3. The zombie of Voorhees’ corpse is torn to shreds by the ghost of Voorhees’ soul
4. A star is formed from the dust of skulls, blown away from a dead planet
5. The bride of Voorhees is forged on the anvil of a genocide star
6. A new species is born, whose invulnerability renders violence meaningless and a horrible peace begins

Holy crap, Brian, you’re in deep. Happy Halloween, everybody! Don’t forget to check out those haunts if you’re within a certain radius of their left coast location. And pay what you want for Romance in the Castle of Voorhees at the Deathbomb Bandcamp page. Clicky below!

1. Fun fact: I am a single degree of separation from Mr. B. How about you?

Chocolate Grinder

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we’ll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.

Most Read