♫♪  Concrete Colored Paint / Tap Water - Split

You gotta wonder about a two-headed serpent, because, you know, how does it…? C’mon, don’t make me say it. If it eats from both ends, where does it, erm … expel its waste? Maybe I’ll ask Peter Kris (German Army, etc.). He seems to be the funny ha-ha man who made the thing.

Still, it’s pretty cool looking. Actually, the more I look at it, the more I think it would look spectacular on medieval royal banners and shields. Maybe that’s what Peter Kris intended all along.

Peter Kris, seasoned warrior, straps on his armor, two-headed-snake shield gripped in his powerful gauntlet, and prepares his shredded weirdness as Concrete Colored Paint, murky electronic communications hovering through the atmosphere like fog on a moor at the outset of battle. His side of this split tape is untitled — he hasn’t titled the thing because naming it would conjure its vast evil into physical form. Oh, the beasts we must face in the dark, on the moors! We are ill prepared to face such a fatal conjuring on our own, in the dark, on the moors, that sounds like this, like the distillation of our every waking fear scrolling through itself like a demonic radio dial. Can you imagine what the physical form of every waking fear looks like,1 how convoluted and confusing and probably huge and face-melty and gross it would be? Only in the abysmal palette of paint of a grayish hue would it appear, its black maw yawning into oblivion…

Peter Kris has seen the beast and recorded his observation as sound, because there are no earthly words or images that do it justice.

Tap Water’s two-headed snake dreams grab us by the collar (or gorget) as we’re about to topple forward into eternal peril, dust us off, sit us down, and assure us it’s all good. Hard to shake the visions of damnation Peter Kris just heaved at us, though. [*glances sidelong back in Peter Kris’s direction, not trusting him for a second back there in the recent past*] But the duo of Mike Haley (Wether, Tabs Out2) and Ian Franklin (Shredderghost) are entertainers! They weave their fried electronics like snake charmers, both ends of our bi-domed reptile buddy swaying endlessly in the soundwaves. Even when they turn up the heat, as it were, intensifying their mesmerizing output to levels of psychedelic overload, they’re still just having fun. And so are we. We ignore our demons in favor of two weirdos with electronic gear who like snakes with two heads. Just as social media intended.

And look — in the end, you don’t need a one-headed snake shitting all over your house, I don’t need a one-headed snake shitting all over my house. The artistic choice is sound.

You can purchase this special tape with real money from Lighten Up Sounds.

1. I can. To me it looks like a duck.

2. Full disclosure: I also write for Tabs Out.

Chocolate Grinder

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we’ll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.

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