To: STRATUMA.LIST ; STRATUMB.LIST
Date: redacted date
Re: »»»[WARNING: CONTAMINATION INCIDENT]«««
ALL STRATUM B AND ABOVE FACULTY: Your clearance has enabled you to view this addendum, ahead of the general facility warning. For reasons of sensitivity, general faculty will not see this. Per Director random name, we have concluded contamination by Project “Orchid” has reached in excess of 70% of the faculty. This number is expected to reach at least 95% within two hours.
Based on preliminary reports, contaminated faculty will experience a spontaneous rash similar to Toxicodendron radicans. Expect this rash to metastasize to the entire body within an hour. Isolate contaminated individuals together and away from you if possible. At the conclusion of metastasis, do not enter any room with the individual(s) or touch any spores that will result from apparent random name text. If you have been contaminated (noticed a rash quickly appearing), please note you are expected to follow ALL containment procedures to prevent jeopardy of the TROPICAL INTERFACE facility and by extension, humanity.
Please begin attached containment procedures immediately. Disregard instructions in the general facility warning below.
URGENT ATTENTION: This is an important message for all faculty at the TROPICAL INTERFACE facility. A Class 1 Contamination Incident has originated within Reserve Chamber E74, at 0200 hours time. Per a unilateral decision by Facility Director random name, all faculty are to report to the residential quarters until further notice.
As with all contamination incidents, there is no reason to fear for the safety or contamination of anyone provided the above procedure is followed.