The Beach Boys announce tourdates for their 50th anniversary celebration, issue sexual performance apologies in advance to their groupies

The Beach Boys announce tourdates for their 50th anniversary celebration, issue sexual performance apologies in advance to their groupies

Hey, Mr. Bojangles. If you’ve been spending any fraction of your time “following music” this year (not particularly advisable, by the way), you probably know that the geriatric unit movers known as The Beach Boys are currently “reunited” and in the process of being trotted around for a bunch of 50th anniversary hoopla. Last week, we told you about how they were being wheeled out to mumble their way through “Good Vibrations” at the 2012 Grammys (via The Audio Perv). And while it was undeniably awesome to see a band just flagrantly wearing its own merchandise on stage, certain Brian Wilson-ish members of the band looked like they’d rather be any place else in the contiguous United States than inside that theater.

Well, as it turns out, those certain someones will have that chance very soon. The surviving Beach Boys (Brian Wilson, Mike Love, Al Jardine, Bruce Johnston, David Marks, and possibly John Stamos, according to Mike Love) have just announced a pretty hefty slew of dates around the US starting in April and not letting up until mid-July, including appearances at Summerfest, Bonnaroo, and New Orleans Jazz Fest. Truthfully, this sounds pretty grueling for men of their advanced age, but keep in mind that these men are entertainers, and as such, they owe the fickle public every ounce of their withered, hell-bound souls.

(P.S. - Don’t forget that they’ve recorded a new album together for Capitol/EMI recently — produced by Wilson and executive-produced by Love — and it’s supposed to be released at some point this year. So you might want to catch them before that monstrosity comes out and starts occupying valuable real estate in their 40-point-font set lists.)

Beach Boys 50th Anniversary Tour:

04.24.12 - Tucson, AZ - Anselmo Valencia Ampitheater
04.26.12 - Grand Prairie, TX - Verizon Theatre
04.27.12 - New Orleans, LA - New Orleans Jazz Fest
04.29.12 - Raleigh, NC - Raleigh Ampitheater
05.02.12 - St. Augustine, FL - St. Augustine Ampitheater
05.04.12 - Hollywood, FL - Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
05.05.12 - Tampa, FL - David A. Straz Jr. Center for the Performing Arts
05.08.12 - New York, NY - Beacon Theater
05.09.12 - New York, NY - Beacon Theater
05.11.12 - Pittsburgh, PA - Bendum Center for the Performing Arts
05.12.12 - Uncasville, CT - Mohegan Sun Arena
05.13.12 - Uncasville, CT - Mohegan Sun Arena
05.15.12 - White Plains, NY - Westchester County Center
05.17.12 - Bethlehem, PA - Sands Bethlehem Events Center
05.19.12 - Atlanta City, NJ - Borgata Hotel Casino
05.21.12 - Chicago, IL - Chicago Theatre
05.27.12 - Las Vegas, NV - Red Rock Casino
06.01.12 - Berkley, CA - Greek Theatre
06.02.12 - Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl
06.08.12 - The Woodlands, TX - Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
06.10.12 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo Music Festival
06.13.12 - Cuyahoga Falls, OH - Blossom Music Center
06.15.12 - Columbia, MD - Merriweather Post Pavilion
06.16.12 - Camden, NJ - Susquehanna Bank Center
06.17.12 - Bethel, NY - Bethel Woods Center for the Arts
06.19.12 - Toronto, ON - Molson Ampitheatre
06.20.12 - Montreal, QC - Bell Centre
06.22.12 - Bangor, ME - Waterfront Park
06.23.12 - Saratoga Springs, NY - Saratoga Performing Arts Center
06.26.12 - Boston, MA - Bank of America Pavilion
06.29.12 - Darien Lakes, NY - DTE Energy Music Theatre
07.01.12 - Milwaukee, WI - Markus Ampitheater (Summerfest)
07.03.12 - Virginia Beach, VA - Farm Bureau Live
07.10.12 - Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Ampitheatre
07.13.12 - Woodinville, WA - Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery
07.14.12 - Eugene, OR - Cuthbert Ampitheater
07.15.12 - Stateline, NV - Harvey’s Lake Tahoe Ampitheater

• The Beach Boys:
• Capitol:

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