Like Bon Jovi and The Boss Before Them, Screaming Females Get the Fuck Out of Jersey and Hit the Road on Their First Headlining Tour

I really need to get my ass to New Jersey real soon, if only to halt the corrosive ooze of pop culture from further seeping its odious lies about the Garden State into my skull. Much like a Nazi prison or fat camp, Jersey is a smelly, coal-mine ridden hell-hole worth only escaping from, or at least that’s what waaaaay to many post-midnight viewings of Zoolander and Coyote Ugly have taught me. For all I know, the only people who actually stay in New Jersey are hairy-bodied-but-still-bald-on-top mobsters like Tony Soprano and those depressing-as-fuck fry cooks who work at the Howard Johnson on the Jersey Shore in that one ridiculous episode of No Reservations where Anthony Bourdain tries to reconcile with his Jersey roots. Good lord, pop culture, you’ve certainly taken a toll on that poor state.

Luckily, New Brunswick’s own Screaming Females stand as yet another reminder that, while Jersey may be known only as a flea-ridden stinkhole to the rest of America, it can still pump out some goddamn good music. And Screaming Females have had quite a year, going from schlepping around self-booked house shows to joining Jack White’s ever dubious list of “bands I like want to put under my wing because I like them.” But you know what separates Screaming Females from other Jack White-sanctioned acts like The Greenhornes or Whirlwind Heat? Screaming Females are actually good! So check out Screaming Females on their first ever headlining national (and hey, there’s even a couple dates for our friends to the north!) tour, or if you’re a Jerseyite, wait for them to come back home to what I’m sure is a lovely, lovely state.
09.25.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Pi Lam House
09.26.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Death By Audio
09.27.09 - Providence, RI - AS220
09.28.09 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East
09.29.09 - Portland, ME - SPACE Gallery
10.01.09 - Montreal, QC - POP MONTREAL
10.02.09 - Toronto, ON - The Garrison
10.03.09 - Detroit, MI - Majestic Cafe
10.04.09 - Oberlin, OH - Oberlin College
10.05.09 - Chicago, IL - The Hideout
10.06.09 - Saint Louis, MO - The Gargoyle
10.07.09 - Beloit, WI - Beloit College
10.08.09 - Chicago, IL - Ronnie's
10.09.09 - Grinnell, IA - Grinnell College
10.10.09 - Richmond, IN - Earlham College
10.21.09 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge
10.24.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Don Pedro's

[Photo: Jimmy @ Legion of Doom in Columbus, OH]

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