Calgary, Alberta, Canada-based music preservationists, The Society For The Preservation of Folk Music, has taken to the airwaves to announce the first round of artists slated to play this year’s Calgary Folk Music Festival. The SPFM has also promised that the festival’s ban on bottled water, introduced last year, will once again be in effect, despite protests by hundreds of thirsty festival-goers.
“We just want a drink of water! We don’t understand any other way to procure water except in bottled form! Help us!” said the thirsty festival-goers with dry, dry lips and tongues. However, the SPFM turned a deaf hear and stuck to its guns, stating: “We provide free water to all partrons of the festival, as many glasses of free water as you want, and don’t understand why these people seem incapable of drinking water unless it comes from a bottle. Yes, we serve you tap water, is that so bad?”
Thirstiness aside, this year’s Calgary Folk Music Festival will feature “some of the biggest names in music,” including, but not limited to, Beirut, Jeff Mangum, Iron and Wine, Sinead O’ Connor, Rural Alberta Advantage, Junior Brown, Besh o droM, Justin Townes Earles, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Randy Newman, The Barr Brothers, and Sam Baker. The full list of performers will be released on April 26 but the CFMF promised that this year’s lineup will assuredly provide “authentic, even magical encounters that surprise the most dedicated festival aficionados, creating once-in-a-lifetime experiences for both artists and audience members,” which I hope means Sinead O’ Connor vs. Randy Newman in a steel cage.
The Calgary Folk Music Festival takes place July 26-29 on Prince’s Island Park in downtown Calgary, Alberta, Canada, with tickets available now.
• Calgary Folk Music Festival: http://www.calgaryfolkfest.com
