Do Make Say Think Tour Europe in Order to Escape North America’s Abundance of Child Molesters

I don't blame Dateline NBC for deciding to feature Do Make Say Think in the 165th installment of To Catch a Predator. This is a series where NBC pays watchdog group Perverted Justice to track down online sexual predators, leading them into a trap featuring the castigatory Chris Hansen along with chips and salsa. Once the Canadian post-rock band Do Make Say Think began heating up the U.S. scene, Dateline NBC saw its moment to capitalize on their success. Chris Hansen was able to get the band to help "entrap" yet another damn pervert. Here is a sample of the episode, brought to you in "TEXT VISION."

Pervert rings door bell. Guitarist, trumpeter, and Do Make Say Think/Broken Social Scene member, Charlie Spearin, opens the door.

Charlie: Hey dude, I'm Charlie Spearin. Do you like my moustache? Come on in. I have to get the cookies out of the oven, if you know what I mean.

Pervert: Sweet man. I'll wait, baby.

Chris Hansen enters the room

Chris Hansen: Whoa, buddy! What are you doing? What are you thinking? Do you know what is happening? Do you watch TV? Do you know who I am? I'm Chris Hansen and this an investigative TV show called To Catch a Predator. Did you know that you are a predator? Are you excited about the upcoming sequel to Alien Vs. Predator?

Pervert: What? I just came here to talk and eat cookies, man. I don't know what this is about.

Chris Hansen: Oh. Well, is it true that your screen name is JimmyBuffetFan69?

Pervert: Yeah, so?

Chris Hansen: Bullshit! Do you remember this little conversation that you had?

DoMakeSayThinkRox: Do U like my band? Does it turn U on? Do U get off 2 our soft, jazzed-up rhythms?

JimmyBuffetFan69: Yeah, baby! That new album, You, You're a History in Rust, makes me want to touch myself. Oh yeah, I'm listening to it right now, lol. I saw you guys on your tour last year. That violinist is freakin? hawt! LMAO!

Dood, just send us some neked pix, mkay? And meet us at Chris Hansen's house on the upper West Side. L8ter sk8er~!

Pervert: Yeah, I said that. So?

Chris Hansen: Well, you're also a pervert. And no, you didn't do anything wrong. But you obviously like Jimmy Buffet. And that makes you a child molester. Eat shit man. You just got pwned!

Pervert: I swear that I just enjoy their music.

Chris Hansen: Well, enjoy it no more. They are going to tour Europe to get away from pervs like you. However, you are free to go. Just walk out that door right that marked, "Trap."

The pervert walks outside and is unnecessarily attacked by a cop, who jumps out of some bushes wearing a guerilla camouflage costume.

Think Last, Do First; European tourdates:

Most Read



Etc.