Doseone to Make You Feel Like A Modern de’Medici

You read The Da Vinci Code, right? Want to make your life as exciting as the adventures of Professor Robert Langdon? Self-described “true jack of all nerves, art cutter, freezer of voice, sampler, banger of keyboards, pill burner, hermetic independent music making friend maker, part-time propmaster, good learner, catman, and ref-poet for life,” Adam “Doseone” Drucker could be your ticket into this world of historical intrigue.

In December, the tour van of Doseone-headed Subtle (not to be confused with Doseone-headed Greenthink, cLOUDDEAD, Deep Puddle Dynamic, Object Beings, 13 & God, Themselves, Presage... [point is dude has got more band’s than Lil’ Wayne’s AK has got shells (which is more than the ocean, in turn, has [Source: Wayne, Lil’ & Drama, DJ, Dedication 2: Gangsta Grillz, 2006])]) was robbed of $15,000 worth of equipment and cash. Naturally, Dose chose to paint portraits of fans for $20 in an attempt to replace the lost items.

The offer is again available at this website, where 150 people will have a chance to commission a painting based on a picture e-mailed to Doseone, sure to be rife with Masonic imagery and ancient conspiracy. For $20, you can be presented with the opportunity to pretend that you’re in your own Dan Brown.

Think “Oh, lame saint!” is cryptic? Try “I think our tour guide is on the H2O/ You don't seem to understand the lasting impression a grade school gym teacher's chutzpah has on a modern nation's economy/ And I could write anything/ And I could write anything/ The average healthy rooster lives around twelve years/ This is amusing.” YEAH, the dude actually writes like that. Imagine how mysterious his paintings must be.

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