The latest chapter in the saga of the internet's leaky faucet and Thunderdome of publicity stunts features a rather unusual, rather awesome story from Mogwai.
Our favorite stalwart purveyors of doom are not deterred by several tracks of the triumphantly-titled The Hawk is Howling racing through the blogosphere, but rather a ‘leaked,’ unfavorable Pitchfork review. The band posted on their official site: "Dear dear me, it seems that there has been a second unfortunate Mogwai related leak this week. This was forwarded to us by an anonymous source, it is the unedited Pitchfork.com review of The Hawk Is Howling."
However, akin to Mogwai's technicolor shroud of mystery, it seems entirely probable that Mogwai wrote the review themselves, insofar as most of the writing is not in the typical dissertation-esque format. For example, the supposed Pitchfork writer dives into album epilogue "The Precipice" by lamenting how "guitars curlicue around the pounding of mannish tom-toms like the garland of graying pubic hair around your uncle's boner… [they] offer you a lollipop and the promise of videogames, the ghost of Slint dulling your senses into a glassy-eyed hypnosis, until you realize that Mogwai are fucking you, fucking you, fucking you." In "Thank You Space Expert," Mogwai "absently strike their guitars, glockenspiels and who-diddly-dang-bangles."
Moreover, sarcastic jabs alluding to common criticisms of Pitchfork reviews are spread throughout ("I should note here that I will simply use the term ‘music’ in this review... no time for useless genre struggles"). The most compelling evidence, however, is that none of the credited authors in this particular review are listed on Pitchfork's staff masthead.
If it is real, Pitchfork should up their QA standards. However, since Mogwai has often demonstrated their sense of humor throughout their discography, I'll put my money on saying that this is a pretty hilarious prank from our favorite cheeky Scots. It appears as Pitchfork might be on the same shitlist as Blur, especially considering the hate brought in its review of Mr. Beast.
Look for the new "Pitchfork is Shite" shirts at the merch booth as they kick tires, light fires, et al. across North America with Fuck Buttons:
