Goblin Cock Tour; Plan New Album; Cover The Osmonds, Monkees; Basically Have a Really Good Time in the Company of Friends or Even Just a Quiet Night at Home

Fact: There are too many metal bands in the world. It’s not even a point for discussion. Walk outside and you’ll step on one of three things -- dry leaves, wet leaves, or a metal band. Metalheads are as common as cockroaches, yet they all want to do different things to you and/or your body. Some want to intimidate, others excite. Some are laid back and stoned, others are boozed up and faster than the teeth on a roaring chainsaw. Some want to parody the others, and others want to parody the some.

Maybe that’s why Goblin Cock is so refreshing. Led by the venerable Lord Phallus (a.k.a. Pinback’s Rob Crow), Goblin Cock doesn’t fall in any of the aforementioned camps, but they still command notice, if only for how much fun they have. Neither poking fun nor inciting riots, Goblin Cock is the garage metal band that doesn’t suck -- not a joke, but not meant to be taken seriously. In short, pop music as a whole, not just metal, could stand to learn a great deal from Goblin Cock’s attitude.

And so it is my pleasure to announce that Goblin Cock will be having a fuckload of fun all over the country, and you are cordially invited to join them. Even better, the boys (L.P., Bane-Ass Pounder, King Sith, Braindeath, and Loki Sinjuggler, respectively) are preparing a new long player, Come With Me If You Want to Live. No details or dates have yet been attached to the record, save for the promise that it will be “a collection of new supercharged action-metal wonderhits.”

And in even betterer news, Goblin Cock is also releasing a new EP called Dragonfucker, a 20-minute opus of God-knows-what with a set of B-side covers of The Roaches, Monkees, and Osmonds. While all three of those bands may not be represented on the B-side, it would certainly be a treat just to hear one of those covers. Godspeed, Goblin Cock.
01.28.09 - San Diego, CA - The Casbah
01.31.09 - Mesa, AZ - Hollywood Alley
02.02.09 - Austin, TX - Red 7
02.03.09 - Dallas, TX - Loft - Palladium Ballroom
02.04.09 - Memphis, TN - Hi Tone Cafe
02.05.09 - Birmingham, AL - Bottletree
02.06.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Masquerade
02.07.09 - Charlotte, NC - The Milestone
02.09.09 - Washington, DC - DC9
02.10.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's
02.11.09 - New York, NY - The Highline Ballroom
02.12.09 - New Haven, CT - Cafe Nine
02.13.09 - Allston, MA - Harpers Ferry
02.14.09 - Buffalo, NY - Mohawk Place
02.15.09 - Toledo, OH - Frankies
02.17.09 - Pontiac, MI - The Pike Room
02.18.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
02.19.09 - Lawrence, KS - Jackpot Saloon
02.20.09 - Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge
02.21.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Kilby Court
02.23.09 - Seattle, WA - The Funhouse
02.24.09 - Portland, OR - Satyricon
02.26.09 - San Francisco, CA - Rickshaw Stop (Noise Pop Festival)
02.27.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Knitting Factory (Front Room)

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