Kelly Clarkson Hates Money, Loves Self, Inadvertently Becomes Litmus Test for Artist Integrity, Former Spice Girls Stunned at Superior Display of ‘Girl Power,’ Wonder What a ‘Litmus Test’ Is

How much cred does YOUR band have?

Ever wonder how your band or group stacks-up in the grand scheme of that whole "damn-the-man," "too high to die," rock 'n' roll scene? (You know, the one that none of us knew about until Cameron Crowe told us about it??)

Well, keep wonderin', o' ye aspiring students of the School of Rock (you know, the one that none of us knew about until Jack Black told us about it?? Man, I love the movies!), because y'all just got taught a new lesson by one of the most devil-may-care rockers in the business.
Mick Jagger? Keith Richards? Think again.

Iggy Pop??? Not quite.

Tim Armstrong?!?! Okay, who said that one?

Nope. When it comes to indie-cred these days, there is only one name: Kelly "The Real Queen Bitch" Clarkson!

That's right, boys and girls! The American Idol mega-star struck a blow for now-antiquated notions of creative control and artistic integrity in pop music when she recently got all Uma Thurman on Grammy-winning record producer/RCA head-reptile Clive Davis concerning the contents of her new album, My December,, due June 26 on RCA. According to a recent interview with Elle Magazine (yeah, yeah), the cute lil' popstar was anything-but when she roared and rampaged against the 75-year-old Davis' bald-headed beseechery that she accept $10 million dollars in exchange for allowing him to ditch five of the album's songs and replace them with "more radio-friendly" picks of his choosing.

"I've sold more than 15 million records worldwide and still nobody listens to what I have to say because I'm 25 and a woman," K-Claw crabbed. "My resistance upsets a lot of people, because we could make a lot of money. And I'm not hatin' on money. But you know in Funny Girl, when they make Barbara Streisand sing the 'Beautiful Girl' song, and she is singing these lyrics and she knows she's not that person? I'm just not comfortable doing things that don't feel like me."

Meee-yowww, right fellas? Uh... I mean...

The commendably confident Clarkson has also apparently fired her long-time manager, Jeff Kwatinetz of L.A.-based management company The Firm, over the December-related controversy, according to reports earlier this week. "It is true. It just happened. It is a total shock, but she wasn't happy," said a source, adding that Clarkson has not yet decided on a new manager. Another source adds, "They majorly disagreed over the album and the direction and Kelly had enough."

"Had enough," eh? Sounds like Punk Rawk talk to me, ladies and gentlemen. Take that, industry! Yeah!

But not so fast. The ever-stalwart star subsequently released her own softer-sided statement this past Tuesday evening, stating that she has been "so fortunate to be supported by so many talented people in all corners of the music business. Those guys at the Firm did a good job and I really appreciate everything they did."

Say whaaa? Okay, so maybe she's not as Tank Girl as we thought, but still...

So what does all of this torrid controversy mean for the impending release of My December at the end of this month? Will K-Claw's own tunes and true-to-self aesthetic prevail against naysayers like Davis? Or will a community of ruthless critics and disappointed fans soon be flooding magazines and blogs with egregious "Wake Me Up When December Ends" headlines?? Who's to say? But at least the Pop Superstar can be proud to be sitting on top of a record that she actually took creative responsibility for. I heard somewhere that some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this...

In other news, Kelly just cancelled her summer tour due to low ticket sales. Ouch.

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