Marley Family to Sue Verizon and Universal, You Sleep Beside Me, I Am on a Train Leaving You as You Read This

Dear Reader, Baby, Sweetheart,

By the time you'll have read this, I'll be gone.

I left at daybreak.

You see, something happened last night, baby. You were sleeping so soundly, and I didn't want to wake you. Your pretty, indie face on the pillow, smiling to yourself. Sugar plums were, like, dancing in your head. You slept, reader baby, and I stared at the ceiling. Wide awake. Contemplating spending the rest of my life with you. I was going to ask you to marry me. But it didn't feel right.

There's God, and love, and this insane force inside of you. The light attaches to you, always.

Reader baby, know this: you're beautiful, and the thing is, I don't know who I am anymore. Something happened.

This happened:

In a landmark defiance of EVERYTHING, I am of a similar viewpoint as a Marley fan. And not just any fan. The Marley family and I are in agreement. Apparently, the Marley family's Fifty Six Hope Road Music Ltd aims to sue both Verizon Wireless and Universal Music Group based on Verizon's try for use of Marley songs as ringtones.

I am siding with the Marleys.

I must confess, though, that I side with the Marleys out of personal interest. You see, reader baby, I'm still in college, and these ringtones may ruin my life. As in:

1. I don't want to hear "Buffalo Soldier" ringing as my fellow COLLEGE KIDZ! make the nightly booty call;
2. I don't want to hear "Buffalo Soldier" on the street;
3. Or by way of an accidental ring ring ring ring in class;
4. At Planned Parenthood;
5. While buying weed,
6. And 100000000000000000000000 puppies,
7. And 343049039403940349 kittens,
8. Or, really, ever.


Yes, I side with the Marleys for the sole purpose of killing off any possibility for me to hear a Bob Marley song, ever. Still, reader baby, I can't live with myself knowing that my support of the Marleys, though grossly unintentional, is still, in essence, some support.

You're just too damn good for me.

Goodbye, reader baby. I will love and miss you. Don't try to contact me.

Really, you're beautiful.



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