Action Bronson walks into a bar and orders a drink. He reaches into his pocket and sets a frog down on the bar next to him. The bartender asks him what’s up with the frog. Action replies, “This is the greatest frog ever; I’ve taught this frog how to eat pussy.” The bartender nods, “Interesting.” He rolls his eyes and walks away.
At the other end of the bar, a woman is drinking alone. She asks the bartender, “What’s up with that guy and the frog?” The bartender replies, “His name is Action Bronson, and he claims that his frog can eat pussy.” The woman says, “Really? That sounds kind of interesting. I might be into that.” The bartender says they’ll be closing in a little while, but he could talk to Action and see if he was willing to hang around.
Sure enough, after closing time, the woman drops her panties, lays back on the bar, and hikes up her skirt. Action Bronson places the frog right between her legs and says “Go on.” The frog does nothing. Action gives the frog a little prodding, and says again, “Go on.” The frog ribbits, but otherwise just sits there. Action prods again and again — nothing. Infuriated, Action suddenly picks up the frog and throws it across the room, shouting, “This is the last goddamn time I’m going to show you how to do this!”
• Action Bronson: http://www.actionbronson.com