I’m an impressionist, you’re dumb: a compilation of bass tracks

friendships entered the room. [1:22 AM]
tmtcrew entered the room.
squirrell_nuts entered the room.
*Type /help for a list of commands.

Friend_ships: DAMN [1:22 AM]
M I S H A: LOL [1:22 AM]
CliffOrd //M//: Hi! [1:22 AM]
Friend_ships: waaaaaaaaaa? [1:22 AM]

M I S H A: I’m an impressionist [1:23 AM]
Friend_ships: You’re dumb [1:23 AM]
JP∆rk: Ur a Drag [1:23 AM]
JP∆rk: Drop that B A A S S S S [1:23 AM]
Skinimin: word [1:23 AM]

M R P: 1am (slow release) is tiiiiiight [1:23 AM]
CliffOrd //M//: mmdammmmmnnn [1:24 AM]
RaRakin: represent [1:24 PM]
Friend_ships: who the hell is squirrel_nuts!? [1:24 AM]

• friendships:


“Hamburger Touchdown” [NSFW]

Now this is an interesting piece of work/ass, Boron. Only in flashes can I actually watch this video at work, because it’s totally tits out. Totally, literally, digitally: tits out. But also, like, this is borderline unwatchable because of all that decay and digital smear. Again, literally unwatchable; this doesn’t involve taste. Yet it so cleverly matches the track “Hamburger Touchdown” through vaginal and sexual insinuation, and warped sounds of maybe musical intention stacked on musical intention stacked on a mess of electronic core vibrations.

It’s unsettling, but wonderfully so, and with the Google Stalker app running across the globe, it’s like I’m right there, in real life, watching this broad pixelate into a Picasso. Oh-oh, and our Choco papi Keith Kawaii slipped me this dic— VIDEO; he slipped me this VIDEO, yes, and I’m totally not hard at work because of it. Well, mostly I’m pitching a tent because of these noises, though a blocky nip slips into my vision occasionally and so I think it confuses my parts. Again-again, “Hamburger Touchdown” and it’s video encompasses some happily acceptable parts, making parts part in parties for… CHECK OUT: Boron’s new jam The Beige Album on Field Hymns immediately, or people will think your parts are slipping.

• Boron:
• Field Hymns:


Bird Eat Snake // The Love Offering (My Intention Mix)

My first exposure to Elucid’s brand of audible mindrape came during the 4th Annual Yule Prog, where his all-out sonic assault of a set suffered from a few major technical difficulties (the kind of feedback that momentarily deafens you and leaves your ears ringing for days). Nevertheless, my interest was piqued enough that I soon downloaded his 2009 and 2010 albums, The Sub Bass Diet and Super Chocolate Black Simian. It was after listening to these when I began to really appreciate the MC’s gutteral intensity and forward-thinking beat selection.

Fast-forward to Yule Prog 5. Elucid has now teamed with fellow Brooklyn transplant and progressive hip-hop production wunderkind A.M. Breakups to form Cult Favorite. The duo’s show-stealing performance (especially impressive in light of the night’s heavy-hitting lineup) has me me on the low calling these guys the next Public Enemy, Breakups’ discordant yet anthemic beats serving as the ideal poster board for Elucid’s outraged calls to arms. They followed this performance up with The Kingdom Mix, almost 20 minutes of punch-you-in-your-shit insanity, and of course another knock-out performance at Yule Prog 6.

That said, one would be remiss to ignore Elucid’s latest contribution to the Brooklyn-raised prog-hop scene. This nearly one-hour continuous mix comes guaranteed to turn a fuckboy’s knuckles white. And while you’re enjoying these digi plants, look out for the group’s debut album, which, last I heard, is scheduled for a March 5 digital/vinyl release.

• Elucid:
• Cult Favorite:
• Reservoir Sound:

Holly Herndon

Live in the Boiler Room

Those of you who enjoyed Holly Herndon’s Movement (TMT Review) would be well-advised to check her recent live set for Boiler Room, now available to stream on Soundcloud and YouTube. This writer particularly enjoyed the sleepy-looking guy in the back of the YouTube clip who sneers behind Holly’s back throughout the first 15 minutes of granulated drone-drip before storming off to the bar when those high-tension old-school electrowave snares kick in.

• Holly Herndon:
• RVNG Intl.:


“Started from the Bottom”

Here at the Chocolate Grinder, we’re typically concerned with breaking new artists and gathering aural tidbits that you wouldn’t find anywhere else. Drake does not fit into either of those categories, but his latest clip for “Started from the Bottom,” which he helped to direct, is so incorrigibly absurd that it deserves a shout-out. On one hand, it’s a pastiche of rap video clichés: you’ve got the “rags-to-riches” storyline (complete with ghost-riding a whip out in the snow), the non-sequitur, poorly-integrated skit inserted in the middle without any explanation, and plenty of vaguely misogynistic scenarios involving the ladies (apparently telling a girl she looks like your dead ex is a good pickup line; who knew?) But the locations and situations that Drake/Drizzy/Champagne Papi/Jimmy from Degrassi use to frame his narrative are so out of sync with those put forth by the song that you can’t tell whether he’s thumbing his nose at convention, establishing his own context, or is simply just plain confused.

Just like a bad Lisa Frank sticker collage, none of the visual components of “Started from the Bottom” match up, resulting in one heaping pile of self-serious silliness that warrants a watch solely by account of its inanity. From the dubious youth-league soccer match that opens the clip (I think the kid scoring the goal is supposed to represent Drake killing the rap game, but it’s hard to focus on metaphors when you’ve got the giant Toronto Parks & Recreation logo filling up half the screen), to the sloppy editing that creates the illusion that Drake is simultaneously flying his plane AND chilling on it, the laughs keep coming. I especially enjoyed the strange parallel drawn between “the bottom” and what appears to be an otherwise enjoyable job at a Walgreens-esque store in Toronto. I worked at CVS, and we did NOT have the privilege of a confetti deluge every night after closing, so I think Drake’s complaining a bit too much.

This might not be The Room of rap videos — as far as I know, that holy grail of god-awful hasn’t been found yet — but it’s definitely at least Gigli. And if you’re looking for further proof that nobody will ever surpass Lil B as the rightful heir to the hip-hop crown, just take a gander at this clip. And don’t ask me what any of it means.

• Drake:

Heavy Hawaii

Airborne Kawasaki

I’ve been wondering when Heavy Hawaii were going to get off their asses and actually release a debut full-length. The time has come! With “Airborne Kawasaki,” the band has picked up the pace and finally gotten their heads above water. Which isn’t to say they’ve lost any of their waterlogged charm. Matt Bahama’s gargling-water vocals are still intact. The guitars and drums still sound recorded from the other end of a high-ceiling concrete room. And the 1960s pop tambourine hits and doo-wop harmonies still glue together the reckless, lazy garage rock sound. Oh yes, this is a good sign of things to come, finally!

Listen to “Airborne Kawasaki” below and look for the full-length LP, Goosebumps on San Diego’s Art Fag Records on March 19.

• Heavy Hawaii:
• Art Fag Records:


CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.