Susan Balmar / LAMPGOD

So, here’s the straight sizzle: 2013 was merely a practice run for the Bootleg Tapes dynasty. Dynasty? Yeah. Have you been asleep? It’s time to wake up, ‘cause 2014 is going to open dem ears and Bootleg gonna continue to give you that porn-punk cyber-scuzz mixtape love in ways you cannot imagine.

And as a year-end send-off, the Bootleg prophets are here to give you new split between instant TMT legends LAMPGOD and Susan Balmar. Zones get weird, fries get eaten, and blast-offs were meant for a previous future date, marked in the blood of dimensional beings. Seers of loops scratch the sidelines of tape and digital. Noise and ambient flesh between the human, and existence of sound is so solid in texture you falter at the notion of, “What is momentary and momentous?”

Your answer is NEO​-​OEUVRE by Susan Balmar and LAMPGOD, streaming below:

• Susan Balmar:
• Bootleg Tapes:

Agathe Max

“Live in Milan, Italy” [URSSS]

I get it. Birkut (in a way) called me out on always looking up photos of Yolandi Visser and Rebel Wilson at work. Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyybe. But I’ll tell you what distracted me from my obsessive Goolge Imaging: Agathe Max “Live in Milan, Italy,” captured by none other than the legendary URSSS. Here, Max get’s length and twitchy in south Europe, bowing out some exploration in the electroacoustic range, and being all that is adventure.

Max got feverish earlier this year with her fourth album Dangerous Days, so give it a listen for some sizzle. And after, if you’re WAY strung out on 2013 releases, sort through the URSSS catalog. I guarantee you’ll find something there of interest as you wait in anticipation for 2014. Hi!

• Agathe Max:


“glimmers of light”

The pebbles, wet with sleet, bounce off the exposed strings of an abandoned piano.
I pelt them faux-lazily, embarrassed to admit the growing obsessiveness of each throw, never quite on target.
If I get my aim right, I might just be able to play “Chopsticks”.
It’s that time of year when daylight is just one long sunset. I squint harder with each hour, but never make a tune.

According to Boomkat, N.Racker is “a well known producer operating incognito.” He makes thick dry-stone walls of sound, with all the horror of a pagan Perchtenlauf, but seeped in the dark cynicism of the “desolate north.” While the sounds share certain sonic commonalities with some rightfully praised recent Engravings (TMT Review), this is a darker, sparser affair; a lone Rapper dancer grinding swords in the dark of a moor, not a forest.

N.Racker’s debut album Flock Toxicant came out last year on Pre-Cert Home Entertainment, a label run by the similarly doom-ladenDemdike Stare and Andy Votel (of Finders Keepers). Here’s hoping “glimmers of light” will make it onto similarly beautiful slabs of vinyl soon too.

• N.Racker:

Cream Juice

“Oh Oh Oh Oh”

The ultimate orgasm exists within all of us! Whether it involves fingers, clamps, balloons or feline plasty or pure Man Feelings, we all have the capability to push out the perfect climax. Maybe. However, when mE dear pals Keith and Seth get bumpin’ boots, it’s typically of the Cream Juice variation. As they pissin’ in panties and smackin’ up mammies, the duo reach eye-gasms everywhere with “Oh Oh Oh Oh” on this side of visucopia. And what’s so great about it is you can sing along, kinda. It’s sassy in a natural way. Sexy on a level of sizzle. Yet all that is man.

Legit, I weirded the FUCK out at their label’s showcase recently, and had the pleasure of cornering Keith while giving him my a capella “Oh Oh Oh Oh.” That’s possibly exactly how it sounds. And I kissed Seth on the way out. You can tell I’m proud of these fellahs. So look out 2014! Cause there’s talks of a Digitalis Cream Juice release in the midst, and sommmmmmeBODY is already wet. This guy. Pants. Cream Juice.

• Cream Juice:
• Orange Milk:

Cult Favorite

“The Transition”

On “The Transition,” Elucid kicks things off with the following:

Not guilty just paranoid blame it on the seminar/ Ultra analogue anonymous cult conglomerate/ Dominant digi connect ignore the obvious/ Survivalist zombie Yahweh sloppy mess/ Molatov’ll clear the deck/ Order step pork possess morbid stretch mark for death…

These are not the lyrics of one who has merely “got bars,” as the saying goes. These are the words of a man an entity that — in the span of one year so completely and severely bodied everyone around — can now move freely about the artistic realm without worrying about rank and file. Tiny Mix Tapes gave Race Music a 3.5/5 rating, which should’ve been a 5.5/5, but it doesn’t even matter because well…

Let’s bring it back for a minute. In December 2012, Elucid dropped “Bird Eat Snake // The Love Offering,” a 56-minute mix that has aged better than most solo albums of 2013. In March 2013, he and A.M. Breakups released the long-anticipated Cult Favorite album For Madmen Only, which, though mostly overlooked by the masses, will probably have a lasting influence on everyone who actually took the time to listen to it ala Velvet Underground and Nico (and no, I don’t have any qualms about comparing Elucid to Lou Reed, nor should I).

For much of the rest of the year, Elucid continually teamed with billy woods, perhaps his only true “peer” in terms of pure verse-writing ability. After laying a few show-stopping 16s and surprisingly catchy hooks on Dour Candy, Elucid upped the ante on the Armand Hammer mixtape Half Measures before deftly transcending space and time on Race Music. On these latter releases, it should be noted, his rhymes owe as much to Harlem Renaissance-era storytelling as they do Black Bastards-era Zev Love X.

Which brings us back to “The Transition,” on which Elucid also spits, “The transition destined God’s witness/ Melanin sun blistered can’t lends the afflicted victim/ A helping hand generation by the grand/ Guns, Germs and Steel you still don’t understand.” And he’s right. You really don’t. But at least you can download “The Transition” below and play it on repeat until you think you might.

• Cult Favorite:


“ホワイト•クリスマスDREAMING Greeting Cards”

It’s time for Christmas meltdown!! Well, TMT fan-favorite NMΞSH is here to satiate and completely fuck every last bit of your radio/movie-recollection cheer. Not only is “ホワイト•クリスマスDREAMING Greeting Cards” a vast and excruciatingly LOL trip into the warped world of vape yuletide, but that track is totally NSFW if you’re concerned about bursting out into a maddening laughter. Actually, that’s the best way to describe the track: quiet office, only typing echos off the walls, “good mornings” half-assed around, someone sucks their teeth, and it’s all interrupted by you. If anyone you know actually makes Xmas mixes, toss “ホワイト•クリスマスDREAMING Greeting Cards” their way, but hide it under a familiar title. Be the complete X-mas troll, yo!

And “ホワイト•クリスマスDREAMING Greeting Cards” isn’t just at random. NMΞSH was selected by Sunup Recordings, along with a handful more to be dubbed on 2013 Living Room Visions Winter Tape. Look out for it before December 25, and start a new tradition in listening. For the time being, geek out with NMΞSH and stream “ホワイト•クリスマスDREAMING Greeting Cards” below:

• Sunup Recordings:



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CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.