Aereogramme Pay Publicist By The Letter, Run Out of Money, Break Up; Or, How to Trivialize Seven Years of Someone’s Life

In the most unnecessarily verbose prose since Dickens, Aereogamme have announced that they will be breaking up. While the reasons for the break are “multiple and complex,” apparently the “superhuman ability to dodge the zeitgeist” plays a primary role.

It was at this point that I was going to launch into some petulant diatribe about the writing style of the announcement. Dostoevsky was mentioned. After I floored you with my knowledge of 19th century, I was going to pull out the archaic name-drops and make wild accusations involving Stabbing Westward and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. While you were calling your friends and telling them to check out the scathing article, you would probably notice the snappy close which trivialized their career with some anti-RIAA reference (it’s Tiny Mix Tapes; that’s kind of our thing)... but you know what? I’m not doing that. These dudes are breaking up and I’m attacking them because (a) I need to turn in a story, and (b) I don’t like one of the lines in their press release... that seems somewhat inexcusable.

I mean after seven years and, apparently, three somewhat successful records, these people are giving up on their life's work and I’m deciding to marginalize it for no valid reason. In fact, I imagine that the vague prose was masking tremendous hurt and regret and that, regardless of how foolish it looks, those cryptic words actually speak to something important for the band and their fans. It seems utterly inappropriate to denigrate a full career like that just because I cannot understand six words from a message board.

I don’t know. I’m feeling apathetic toward the entire situation. They’re touring before it’s all over. Go see them. Or don’t. I just really don’t care.

* Supporting Biffy Clyro

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