Animal Collective to Release New EP in January

Iggy and the Stooges Have a MySpace Page. I Think You Know What That Means.

Do I have to spell it out for you? It means The Stooges just finished recording that reunion album they've been talking about for so long. Iggy Pop, the Asheton brahs, and some replacement dude named Mike Watt are calling their new LP The Weirdness (Virgin). You've probably already guessed that Steve Albini produced it.

Obviously, all the kids are wondering how it's gonna sound. Speaking to Billboard, The Ig offered the following somewhat worrisome quote:

"At times, [the songs have] a lot of going for the fences," he continues. "But there's a great deal of structure and attention to detail. We were very prepared, and we always have been any time we stepped into a studio. Even the song 'L.A. Blues,' the last cut on 'Fun House,' was pretty much exactly what you would have heard if you'd seen us live the week before we recorded it."

Um, call me crazy, but isn't that the best thing about Fun House? Isn't that the very element that makes Raw Power live up to its name? I know Iggy's been clean for years now, and I'm nothing but happy for him — I mean, shit, the guy's a national treasure — but wasn't half the thrill of The Stooges the knowledge that performances were accompanied by gratis gore, courtesy of a broken cocktail glass? I reserve my judgment until I hear the album, though — and for the record, I really hope it's good.

In lieu of any real information about the track names that were recently revealed, let me give you my professional hypotheses on what the songs are about:

"Trollin' " — Little known fact: Iggy spends much of his now ample spare time on internet message boards. I don't think it comes as any surprise that he's kind of a bully.

"ATM" — This is Iggy's pet name for David Bowie. And yes, it's a love song.

"You Can't Have Friends" — And we can't have nice things.

"My Idea of Fun" — Is obviously performing shirtless.

"The Weirdness" — Refers to the fact that this album has actually been made.

"Greedy Awful People" — The arch nemesis of "Shiny Happy People."

TMT Mega-Giveaway at Enon Shows Across U.S.!!!

In honor of Enon’s upcoming U.S. tour, TMT is proud to announce our first official “TMT Mega-Giveaway” in several years. TMT M-Gs used to be fairly common, but since our last Mega-Giveaway concert didn’t go so well, we were forced to cut back.

Well, readers, it’s been too long. It’s once again that time. I’m sure you all remember how these work, but let me refresh your memory:

Step 1: Go to one of the Enon shows listed below.

Step 2: Drink heavily, both prior to and during the show.

That’s it! Only two steps! After that, send photographic evidence of yourself successfully completing the aforementioned steps to TMT headquarters, and you could be eligible to win one of several prizes -- the grand prize being a year’s subscription to TMT, absolutely free of charge. Don’t miss out on this, the deal Rupert Murdoch once called “the Reaganomics of music website giveaways!”

TMT eagerly awaits your entries:

This Week In Stupid Musician Tricks: Chris Cornell of Audioslave Covers Michael Jackson

We here at TMT love to print all the news that's unfit to print — from the latest No Fun Fest tidbits to asinine rock musicians doing ridiculous things. So it should come as no surprise to any of you that we here at TMT wanted to fill you in on the latest moronic cover song to grace the music world. Namely, Chris Cornell of Audioslave's decision to cover Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean."

"The song is quite dark and I knew I could make it in to my own, like Johnny Cash did it with Soundgarden's 'Rusty Cage' and Nine Inch Nails' 'Hurt'," says Cornell, 42 (note the clever self-reference by mentioning his former [and better] band, Soundgarden). So Cornell will be releasing this musical outlandishness on his upcoming sophomoric solo LP, set for release in March 2007.

Now, color me a skeptic, but does this not seem like a not-so-clever way of stirring up a little bit of publicity for an already forgotten Audioslave LP that was released back in September? Really, what is the point of letting us know in December of 2006 that you are going to be releasing a cover of Michael Jackson in four months. Could it be that the Christmas consumer needed to remember that Audioslave did, in fact, release a third album, called Revelations, which everyone promptly forgot about? (This, of course, is our reminder.)

In any case, keep your ears peeled for S. Kobak, Hatchet, and Mr P's cover of "More, More, More" by The Andrea True Connection. Should be almost as ridiculous as Cornell's rendition of "Billie Jean."

The Rumors Are Not False: Mos Def’s Tru3 Magic to be Released in January

According to Mos Def's official webby, "the rumors are not false." Mos Def's forthcoming album, Tru3 Magic, is set for release January 9, 2007... probably. The release date has been moved a couple times now, and a post on Mos Def's website still has conflicting dates (1) (2), but we're pretty sure... at least fairly certain... well, I mean, it's probably going to come out January 9, but we don't know for sure. Dude, WTF. Seriously, why do we have to fucking tell you RIGHT NOW?!? Can't it wait?!? Calm the fuck down, asshole.

Asshole! Anyhoo, Tru3 Magic features "Dollar Day (Surprise Surprise)" (formerly titled "Katrina Clap" and originally released in September 2005), a scathing critique of the Bush administration's response to Hurricane Katrina, which was, according to Kanye West (look ma, he's a rapper too), racist. Mos Def was even arrested because of the song when he performed it on the streets the day of the 2006 MTV VMAs. Okay, okay, he was arrested for playing without a permit, but that's still pretty cool.

Since Image Award and Teen Choice Award nominations just aren't enough -- they just aren't -- the Grammys has nominated Mos Def's "Undeniable" for Best Rap Solo Performance, up against T.I., Busta Rhymes, Missy Elliott, and Lupe Fiasco. I don't know about you, but I find it kind of odd that he's nominated for such a dry track. His acting is where it's at. I mean, did anyone else catch his riveting portrayal of himself in that one GMC Denali sport utility vehicle commercial? Shit blows Common's Gap commercial completely out of the water.

Clinic Tours; Contrary to Popular Belief, There Is Apparently No Dancing, Drinking, or Screwing for Students at Central St. Martin’s College

Well, wee did bop and bop in mono

Wee did bop and bop down low

Got to get it and get it ohhhh

Got it? Do you get it? Get it down low

Ticky ticky to marmalade

Ticky ticky to marmalade

Oh, I ticky ticky to marmalade

Sit here, uh

Come a-come a-come

Sit here, uh

Come a-come a-come come

Well, western boys and highs and lows

Western boys, their highs are lows

Ticky ticky to marmalade

Ticky ticky to marmalade

Oh, I ticky ticky to marmalade

Sit here, uh

Come a-come a-come

Sit here, uh

Come a-come a-come come

Well, western bloc, bloc commander...

What is this shit? The sounds someone makes while having a seizure? Nope. The ramblings of a schizophrenic? Not even. Give up? It's the sound of me singing along to Clinic's "The Second Line" (Internal Wrangler). Are those the actual lyrics? Well, probably not. But it's such a damn catchy song that I kind of have to sing along, incomprehensible though it is.

I wonder if anyone knows the lyrics to this song. Apparently the internets have no idea: every single "I give you lyrics and then put pop-ups and spyware on your computer" site has a different rendition posted. My favorite has to be the one that interprets the song's first lyrics as "weed and bach." Weed and Bach? For reals? Can I come to that party?

Anyway, apparently people hate weed and Bach, and those people are college students. No really, it's true. Those crazy kids at London's Central St. Martin's College have forced the school to cancel Clinic's on-campus performance, scheduled for December 14, because they're afraid it will interfere with exam preparation. Whoa. And this is an art school -- it's not like it's Carnegie Mellon or something -- an art school whose website features some hipster kids with buckets on their heads, no less. I mean, I tried to think of a nice turn of phrase, but I've got to say it: what weenies. What total effing dweebs. Whatever happened to the likes of that good time gal who Jarvis Cocker once told us "studied sculpture at St. Martin's College"? I guess they don't want to "watch [their] lives slide out of view," so to speak. I guess they don't feel like pretending they "never went to school."

Good thing they're touring North America, where people actually appreciate them and where art school kids actually live up to their slacker stereotypes, next year.

And if I were those Clinic guys, I would totally write a blog entry about being uninvited to St. Martin's, completely centered around a pun involving the title of the band's latest release, Visitations (Domino).

Weed and Bach and Common People and Western Bloc and Cocker Tour: