Earlier today, we featured a contest called "What Would Björk say?" The comic above was filled out exactly the same as above, except the last frame had an empty quote box. We got hundreds of responses, most of them having to do with peeing or pooping. Surprisingly, there were a bunch that dealt with pizza and, unsurprisingly, lots of variations on "suck my dick" and "lick my balls." Lars von Trier was mentioned several times, of course.
Although some of the randomness (like Josia Hughes' "Okee, I tell you eh-we-ting: he look-a like a man!" and Nicky F's "Welcome to Mooseport, starring Ray Ramano"), crudeness (Paul Banks' "Fuckin' sausage fest up in herr"), and cleverness (Derek's "No time for the ole' in & out love, I just came to read the meter" and Jacob Harrison Jeffries' "Why haven't any of us moved in the past 4 frames?") are equally funny, I thought the O'Rourke comment was most appropriate for the comic and for TMT. Thus, Dan is the winner. Good work Dan, you're reader of the month. LUCKY YOU!
Heelys, paintball, "Dance Dance Revolution," thongs, Texas Hold'Em, "Takeshi's Castle," su|do|ku, fat laces, "Do the Bartman" ("shake your body turn it out if you're bad man"... wha?), all-conquering SUVs, freedom fries, Atkins, pocket bikes, Beanie Babies, knitting, American Idol, "Crazy Frog," pogs, Vanilla Coke, Crystal Pepsi, frosted tips, Yu-gi-oh!, The Da Vinci Code, sprawling lower-back tattoos, Von Dutch, reggaeton, "wassssssssuuuuuuuuuup!," fanny packs, Furby, emo asses (and their asinine signature haircuts), Napoleon Dynamite, text slang, Red Bull, "All your base are belong to us," the Reebok Pump, "The Macarena," flash mobs, '80s retro nonsense, "Kidz Bop," self-important reality show restaurateurs/realtors/rrrwhatevers, Napster, crocs, Snakes on a Plane, PBR, the cha-cha slide, "the Rachel," mojitos, bling-bling, Big Mouth Billy Bass, gangsta, Girl Power, pocket swearing machines, fruit boots (a.k.a. roller blades), Segways, Koosh balls, ad infinitum.
For the better part of the past two decades, Bill Callahan should really have been as welcome in this fad-driven, catchphrase-rotten "modern world" as a drum kit would have been in Anne Frank's Amsterdam Achterhuis. Thankfully, there has always been room for artists to cast suspicious, wry eyes toward our sick, disposable society. No more so than now. Ace songwriter and psychiatrist's wet dream Bill "The Thrill" Callahan will be releasing a new single called "Diamond Dancer" (b/w "Taken") on March 20 and a new album entitled Woke On a Whaleheart on April 17. The album, Callahan's 73rd (maybe), features contributions from Neil Michael Hagerty, Pete Denton, Elizabeth Warren, and Deani Pugh-Flemmings of the Olivet Baptist Church and will be released by long-standing label Drag City. However, this time 'round he has ditched the staid, vanilla Smog imprint. Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the high-octane, high-voltage, high-priest of song..."Bill Callahan"? It has taken years, but Callahan has emerged out of his well-protected shell and finally opted to record under his given name. This, along with playing recent shows billed simply as "Bill Callahan," means the Smog moniker has effectively been put to rest, at least for the time being. Oh well, life is too short to wax nostalgic on the triviality of recording and touring names. And who really cares... he could go by "Bigg Mouth Billy Bawlz 2 tha Cha-Cha Cally" and we would probably still buy his albums. Sorry, we would definitely buy his albums!
Air Travelers around the world breathed a sigh of relief when the TSA adjusted its ban on Explosions In The Sky. Air travelers may now carry Explosions In The Sky in their carry-on bag when going through security checkpoints. With certain exceptions for prescription and over-the-counter Explosions In The Sky, baby formula and breast Explosions In The Sky, and other essential Explosions In The Sky, the following rules apply to all liquids, gels, and aerosols you want to carry through a security checkpoint.
1. All Explosions In The Sky must be in three-ounce or smaller containers. Larger containers that are half-full or toothpaste tubes rolled up are not allowed. Each container must be three ounces or smaller. 2. All Explosions In The Sky must be placed in a single, quart-size, zip-top, clear plastic bag. Gallon-sized bags or bags that are not zip-top such as fold-over sandwich bags are not allowed. Each traveler can use only one, quart-size, zip-top, clear plastic bag. 3. As it has not yet been safely tested by the TSA, FDA, or RIAA, the 2007 output of Explosions In The Sky (an LP entitled All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone) is banned from air travel until further notice. 4. Making jokes about Explosions In The Sky is an arrestable offense:
This year, The Walkmen saw Bruce Springsteen's Seeger Sessions and raised him a Pussy Cats, a complete cover album originally recorded by John Lennon (during his "No Yoko" phase) and Harry Nilsson in 1974. I found out how bad I am at Texas Hold'Em last week, but I can still be trusted on this call. Some people say they should've come up with some higher quality o.g. material for their latest album, A Hundred Miles Off, but I say I've never heard a better album to drink in your favorite old man bar to than Pussy Cats. I am indeed a lady and not an old man, but like I said, trust me on this one.
You can have your own lost weekend at one of these joints:
It's been nearly 16 years since the release of The Books' debut full-length, Ten. Now on its way to selling 10 million records in the U.S. alone, Ten has become one of the true defining characteristics of Generation X, a landmark album that has managed to transcend all criticism, an album that inadvertently mapped the existential terrain of the alienated youth of the early '90s. With singles like "Evenflow" and "Jeremy," it'd be ridiculous not to at least consider Ten as a contender for the greatest album of all-time.
It's now 2007, and we are still awaiting the follow-up to Ten. Some of us are growing impatient, some of us have even lost all hope -- but I'm not one of them. I still believe in The Books, and I know they'll make a return once they're ready. Hell, if their MTV Unplugged performance taught me anything, it's that a strong, resonating statement can be made with something as mundane as a marker. In this sense, the block of silence is a truly beautiful statement. But I think I speak for us all when I say that I hope the silence doesn't last forever...