By David Nadelle on Sep 24 2009
5 dynamic duos:
- Batman and Robin
- Ace and Gary, The Ambiguously Gay Duo
- Steak 'n' eggs
- (Tie) Thelma and Louise, Riggs and Murtaugh
- Hall and Oates
5 not-so-dynamic duos:
- Batman and Robin (c'mon, watching George Clooney or Chris O' Donnell on their own is enough to induce fever and vomiting... but together? You'd be happier blowing a hole in your skull)
- Ace Frehley and Gary Coleman, The Ambiguously Odd Couple (on second thought, that might be the best duo ever)
- Ass 'n' eggs (sounds good but it is not)
- (Tie) Wayne and Garth, whatever characters Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker play in Rush Hour and its seven sequels
- Jobs and Wozniak (as bad as it sounds)
Conspicuously absent from either list are Thao and The Shaky Hands. Granted, they are rarely paired together for convenience, nor does one think of one when the other is mentioned, but both acts can entertain the hell out of the most miserly of curmudgeons, both record on the label that kills the most rock stars (Kill Rock Stars), both have new albums coming out soon, and both have announced large-scale tours! When you add the idea that they both may have eaten octopus in their lives and the fact that they are both parts of the human race, then, for the purpose of this fascinating news story, The Shaky Hands and Thao are the most dynamic duo you will ever hear!
The first record up is Let It Die from supercharged Portland quartet Shaky Hands. Sure, The Shaky Hands are always a rocktastic affair but Let It Die sees the band in a mature, rather inspired form. Hear for yourself on September 29 but, whatever you do, don't let this tracklist die:
1. Let It Die
2. Never Fine
3. Slip Away
4. Love Curse
5. All You Recall
6. Caught in the Storm
7. Don't Fail Me Now
8. Already Gone
9. Gonna Hold You Tonight
10. Allison and the Ancient Eyes
11. Leave It All
Thao Nguyen has been a busy and brave bee, playing with the Get Down Stay Down plus recording The Thao & Justin Power Sessions album with Portland Cello Project (also on KRS). On October 13, it is with the Get Down Stay Down that Thao will release her new album, Know Better Learn Faster. Know these tracks better; learn them faster:
1. The Clap
2. Cool Yourself
3. When We Swam
4. Know Better Learn Faster
5. Body
6. The Give
7. Good Bye Good Luck
8. Trouble Was For
9. Oh. No
10. Fixed It!
11. Burn You Up
12. But What of the Strangers
13. Easy
Getting down and staying down is something you will not be doing if you go see one of the following upcoming Thao and The Get Down Stay Down shows..
10.15.19 - Santa Barbara, CA - SoHo #
10.16.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Echoplex #
10.17.09 - Santa Cruz, CA - The Crepe Place #
10.18.09 - San Francisco, CA - Treasure Island Music Festival
10.21.09 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge
10.22.09 - Seattle, WA - Shop Suey #
10.23.09 - Vancouver, BC - The Biltmore Cabaret #
10.24.09 - Spokane, WA - Empyrean Coffee House #
10.27.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Cedar Cultural Center #
10.28.09 - Milwaukee, WI - Turner Hall #
10.29.09 - Urbana, IL - The Canopy Club #
10.30.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle #
10.31.09 - Detroit, MI - The Café at The Majestic Theater #
11.01.09 - Toronto, ON - El Mocambo #
11.02.09 - Montréal, QC - Il Motore #
11.03.09 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East Downstairs #
11.04.09 - New York, NY - The Bowery Ballroom #
11.05.09 - Philadelphia, PA - The First Unitarian Church #
11.06.09 - Washington, DC - Black Cat #
11.07.09 - Richmond, VA - The Canal Club Downstairs Lounge #
11.09.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl #
11.11.09 - Houston, TX - The Studio @ Warehouse Live #
11.12.09 - Austin, TX - Mohawk #
11.13.09 - Ft. Worth, TX - Lola's #
11.14.09 - Lubbock, TX - Jake's #
11.17.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Rhythm Room #
11.18.09 - Tucson, AZ - Plush #
11.19.09 - San Diego, CA - The Casbah #
11.20.09 - Pomona, CA - The Glass House #
# Portland Cello Project, David Shultz
...and hands will shake and clap and strangle necks (of both the human and the beer bottle variety) at these Shaky Hands live dates:
09.18.09 - Portland, OR - Someday Lounge
10.02.09 - Portland, OR - Berbati's Pan
10.08.09 - Boise, ID - Neurolux
10.09.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Kilby Court
10.10.09 - Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge
10.12.09 - Lawrence, KS - Replay Lounge
10.13.09 - Iowa City, IA - Picador
10.14.09 - St. Louis, MO - Firebird
10.15.09 - Columbia, MO - Mojo
10.16.09 - Urbana, IL - Canopy Club #
10.17.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle $
10.18.09 - Pontiac, MI - The Pike Room $
10.20.09 - New London, CT - Oasis $
10.21.09 - Allston, MA - Great Scott $
10.22.09 - New York, NY - Cake Shop
10.24.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Kung Fu Necktie $
10.25.09 - Washington, DC - DC9 $
10.26.09 - Chapel Hill, North Carolina - Local 506 $
10.27.09 - Charlottesville, VA - Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar
10.31.09 - Paris, France - Mains d'Ouevres %
11.01.09 - Brighton, England - Prince Albert
11.02.09 - Cardiff, Wales - Clwb Ifor Bach
11.03.09 - Manchester, England - The Ruby Lounge
11.04.09 - Glasgow, Scotland - Captain's Rest
11.05.09 - London, England - The Lexington
11.06.09 - London, England - Cargo
11.08.09 - Munich, Germany - Atomic Cafe
11.09.09 - Vienna, Austria - Rhiz
11.12.09 - Basel, Switzerland - 1.Stock
11.13.09 - Lucerne, Switzerland - Treibhaus
11.14.09 - Freiburg, Germany - Swamp
11.15.09 - Berlin, Germany - NBI
11.16.09 - Hamburg, Germany - Molotow
11.17.09 - Aalborg, Denmark - 1000 Fryd
11.19.09 - Bergen, Norway - Garage
11.20.09 - Oslo, Norway - Blå
11.21.09 - Stockholm, Sweden - Fritz's Corner @ Debaser
11.23.09 - Copenhagen, Denmark - Loppen ^
11.25.09 - Prague, Czech Republic - Klub 007 *
11.26.09 - Cologne, Germany - Tsunami
11.27.09 - Utrecht, Netherlands - Le Guess Who Festival
11.28.09 - Haarlem, Netherlands - Patronaat
# Blitzen Trapper
$ Headlights, Pomegranates
% Part Chimp, Get Back Guinozzi!
^ Damien Jurado
* AIDS Wolf
Guy Hands Says Terra Firma Might Have “Paid Too Much” to Rescue EMI
By Nobodaddy on Sep 23 2009
Umm, are we to take it those new Beatles records aren’t reaching their “earning potential”??
Nice, soft, pillowy TMT punchline Guy Hands and his whacky-yet-lovable British private equity firm Terra Firma (that’s “solid ground,” don’t you know) Capital Partners Ltd have certainly been hard at work improving the bottom line of ill-famed, ill-fated, sloppy eater, messy houseguest, gassy sleeper, and crumbling worldwide music conglomerate EMI. But hey, to borrow a phrase from EMI’s own hallowed catalogue, just because you’re “fixin’ a hole where the rain gets in” doesn’t mean that you don’t still have a serious fucking termite problem to figure out.
In other words, there’s still a whole mess of problems over there, as evidenced by Guy’s very decorous but still pretty unmistakably Eggs Benedict-on-face statement that Terra Firma might have “paid too much money” for the lead-lined ocean liner of such stars as The Beatles and Coldplay. The ailing music group accounted for the vast majority of Terra Firma's $1.96 billion writedowns this year and Terra Firma was forced to inject extra capital into EMI twice in just six months (including a $46 million “injection” this past May to keep the company within the terms of its debt agreements. Ouch. Sounds painful.)
Hands, currently the Chief Investment Officer, said that Terra Firma has certainly succeeded thus far in boosting the earnings at EMI‘s recorded music division to about 160 million pounds ($263 million) last year from around $82 million when they first purchased ‘er in 2007. But he nevertheless admitted during his speech at a Dow Jones private equity conference on Thursday that “if the EMI auction started two weeks later, it wouldn’t have occurred. We wouldn’t have bought it. We’d have 90 percent of our funds still to invest and we’d look like geniuses.” Damn hell-ass geniuses, Guy.
Two weeks later? No, Hands isn’t just being a Grizzly Bear fan. See, Terra Firma flew its ill-fated $6.5 billion buyout of the tale-spinning, nose-diving EMI at the height of the buyout boom, a.k.a. right before that credit crunch thing. Regret city. Solid ground? Here we come.
