The Mullins Prophecy: Major Labels Release Prompts Wicked Heavy White Stripes Make-Out Sesh; or, Absurdly Appropriate Lie to Promote Icky Thump For Release June 19
By AJ Pacitti on 05-22-2007
I told her I ain't so sure about this place,
It's hard to play a gig in this town, and keep a straight face,
And it seems like everybody’s got a plan,
It's kinda like Nashville with a tan
-Shawn Mullins, “Lullaby”
Most likely, you’re too painfully hip for a reference to the aforementioned ‘boy meets girl who is rich, but seeks to challenge her emotionally and thinks she is prettier when she smiles’ music to ring true. Allow me to enlighten you, oh hip ones.
I’m discussing a sub-genre of top-40 hits, typically but not exclusively based on the struggle of 25- to 30-year-old men working to save affluent, non-smiling women with poor home lives from the confines of the upper class. Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” was the prototype of said genre. A more recent example is Shawn Mullins’ “Lullaby”; i.e., that song that repeats “Everything’s gonna be alright. Rock-a-bye.”
It seems like everyone’s got a plan, it’s kinda like Nashville with a tan, sings this mysterious Mullins.
And, he’s making me nervous for Meg and Jack White, given that Icky Thump, The White Stripes’ sixth album, scheduled for release June 19, was apparently recorded at Blackbird Studio. You guessed it -- Blackbird Studio is in Nashville. Additionally, this is the first modern studio the Stripes have ever recorded in. Changes in Nashville.
Shit, Stripes.
On “Lullaby,” Mullins’ vague damning of Nashville should be unsettling for the Stripes and Icky Thump for two reasons:
(1) Nashville is referenced in this ever-unremarkable “Lullaby,” potentially cursing any future musical association to the city (damn you, Mullins).
(2) What if Mullins is right about Nashville? What if it's a no-good city of ulterior motives, a place where it is impossible to play a gig and keep a straight face, a place similar to an unnamed, tanner counterpart? This reality could be something even beloved Jack and Meg can't... sibling their way out of.
Perhaps most appropriate, though, is the third option, which would be a shameless, appeal to both the Mullins-induced curse (option 1) and Mullins' own prophecy (option 2):
(3) Jack and Meg making out to "Lullaby" in the saucy-hot, Nashville air after watching a similarly saucy-hot Nashville sunrise and jamming out to... saucy-hot... jams. Like their first title track ever, "Icky Thump."
Or "Uptown Girl."
Seriously.
The maybe, maybe-not siblings’ stint with a major label, Icky Thump, will be released June 19 on Warner.
Tracklisting:
1. Icky Thump
2. You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do as You're Told)
3. 300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues
4. Conquest
5. Bone Broke
6. Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn
7. St. Andrew (This Battle Is in the Air)
8. Little Cream Soda
9. Rag and Bone
10. I'm Slowly Turning Into You
11. A Martyr for My Love for You
12. Catch Hell Blues
13. Effect and Cause
The Gossip Just Want to Have Fun at the First Annual True Colors Tour
By snarehatkickcrash on 05-22-2007
In an attempt to promote equal rights and opportunity, as well as raise awareness 'bout the issues facing the queer community, Cyndi Lauper has founded True Colors Concerts, LLC, after her 1986 album True Colors. The company's first endeavor, the first annual True Colors Tour, begins June 8 in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in celebration of Gay and Lesbian Pride Month.
Margaret Cho will be hosting the performances, wherein The Gossip will take the stage with the likes of Erasure, The Dresden Dolls, Debbie Harry, The Misshapes, and Cyndi Lauper. There are a slew of special guests as well that will be appearing in select cities, including Rufus Wainwright, Rosie O'Donnell, Indigo Girls, The Cliks, Jeffree Star, Cazwell, and Amanda Lepore.
One dollar from each ticket sold will be donated to the Human Rights Campaign.
After the True Colors Tour, The Gossip will continue the remainder of their tour overseas. YAY!
^ True Colors Tour w/ Cyndi Lauper, Erasure, The Dresden Dolls, Debbie Harry, and The Misshapes; hosted by Margaret Cho
* Rufus Wainwright
# Rosie O'Donnell
$ The Cliks
% Cazwell, Amanda Lepore
Have… A Good Time… All The Time; Spinal Tap Reforms For Live Earth (You Know, like Live Aid and Live 8… Those Other Concerts That Saved The World…)
By Joseph Coscarelli on 05-22-2007
When we last left our coifed-haired heroes in Spinal Tap, dismal reviews were piling on (the review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two-word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich"), often hitting that nerve square between insult and truth. I even doubted my allegiance. After all, what day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day, too?
But like a phoenix risen from the ashes, Spinal Tap have reunited and will perform at Live Earth London on 07/07/07. Yeah, that's right. God's number. Coincidence? I think not. With Spinal Tap, we're very lucky we have two visionaries, David and Nigel. They're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries -- like fire and ice, basically. And there's no end to this kind of genius. Plus, I don't really think that the end can be assessed itself as being the end, because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.
Announced via the Tribeca Film Festival and viewable here, it was the tireless willpower of Marty DeBergi that brought the band back from the depths of rock purgatory (rightfully reserved for bands like Audioslave). Rumor has it the band has been working on a Mozart and Bach-inspired (Mach) musical trilogy four or five hours in length, in D minor (widely accepted as the saddest of all keys), titled "Lick My Love Pump." Designed to defeat global warming once and for all, Live Earth will stage concerts from New Jersey to Shanghai on one fateful day in July. Expect a new tune ("Warmer Than Hell") and a possible appearance from British funnyman Ricky Gervais. Thankfully, with Spinal Tap in tow, the score now reads "Live Earth: 1, Global Warming: 0". But we'll need all the star-power we can get. I mean, it's like, how much more black could this crisis be? And the answer is none. None more black.
