Earth take over Mexico, followed by Europe and North America… just like Salma Hayek did

Earth take over Mexico, followed by Europe and North America... just like Salma Hayek did

Earth, everyone’s favorite drone-metal band, have taken over the entire country of Mexico, and in between imposing sweeping changes in both agriculture and trade, have also announced that they will be making their first appearance as rulers of Mexico at this year’s Aural Festival, held at the country’s Festival de Mexico. Earth will appear alongside their musical and political allies, The Melvins, as they play a headlining set to the citizens of their newly captured country.

Political scholars around the world are predicting that Mexico is merely the first step for a global domination plan that will begin in April and doggedly attempt to add both Europe and North America to Earth’s growing political, governmental, and religious power. The band has also announced that they will be celebrating their growing realm this October as they will be playing at All Tomorrow’s Party’s “I’ll Be Your Mirror” event.

This growing wave of political power-grabbing was first witnessed by the band when they released their newest album on Southern Lord, Angels of Darkness, Demons of Light 1 TMT Review), promptly claiming every remaining record store as their property, and declaring that said stores are now under the political sovereignty of Earth. Resistance is futile, Earth is your master.

The Path to Political Dominance:

03.19.11 - Mexico City, Mexico - Aural Fest at Lunario Paseo de la Reforma
04.01.11 - Leeds, UK - Brudenell Social Club
04.02.11 - Manchester, UK - Islington Mill
04.03.11 - Birmingham, UK - Hare & Hounds
04.04.11 - Newcastle, UK - The Cluny
04.05.11 - Glasgow, Scotland - Stereo
04.07.11 - Belfast, Ireland - Auntie Annies Porterhouse
04.08.11 - Dublin, Ireland - Button Factory/Crawdaddy
04.09.11 - Cork, Ireland - Cyprus Avenue
04.11.11 - Cardiff, UK - Millennium Music Hall 2
04.12.11 - London, UK - Scala
04.13.11 - Paris, France - La Maroquinerie
04.14.11 - Amsterdam, Holland - Sugar Factory
04.15.11 - Tilburg, Holland - Roadburn Festival
04.17.11 - Malmo, Sweden - Inkonst
04.18.11 - Gothenburg, Sweden - Nefertiti
04.19.11 - Oslo, Norway - Bla/John Dee
04.20.11 - Stockholm, Sweden - Strand
04.21.11 - Helsinki, Finland - Tavastia
04.22.11 - Berlin, Germany - Friction Festival
04.23.11 - Karlsruhe, Germany - Dude Fest
04.24.11 - Lausanne, Switzerland - Impetus Festival
04.26.11 - Torino, Italy - Spazio 211
04.27.11 - Rome, Italy - Init Club
04.28.11 - Bologna, Italy - Locomotiv
04.29.11 - Padova, Italy - Unwound
04.30.11 - Velenje Slovenia - MC Velenje
05.01.11 - Vienna, Austria - Arena
05.02.11 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk
05.03.11 - Dresden, Germany - Beatpol
05.04.11 - Koln, Germany - Gebaeude9
05.05.11 - Brugge, Holland - Stadsschouwburg
06.08.11 - Chicago, IL - Mayne Stage
06.09.11 - Milwaukee, WI - Mad Planet
06.10.11 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
06.11.11 - Kalamazoo, MI - The Strut
06.12.11 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop
06.13.11 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brendas
06.14.11 - New Haven, CT - Wadsworth Theatre
06.15.11 - Boston, MA - Middle East Downstairs
06.16.11 - New York City, NY - Le Poisson Rouge
06.17.11 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
06.18.11 - Pittsburgh, PA - *TBA
06.19.11 - Newport, KY - Southgate House
10.02.11 - Asbury Park, NJ - ATP: I’ll Be Your Mirror

• Earth: http://www.thronesanddominions.com
• Southern Lord: http://www.southernlord.com

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