Elaborate Prank or Leaked Review? Mogwai vs. Pitchfork

By Kenny Bloggins on

The latest chapter in the saga of the internet's leaky faucet and Thunderdome of publicity stunts features a rather unusual, rather awesome story from Mogwai.

Our favorite stalwart purveyors of doom are not deterred by several tracks of the triumphantly-titled The Hawk is Howling racing through the blogosphere, but rather a ‘leaked,’ unfavorable Pitchfork review. The band posted on their official site: "Dear dear me, it seems that there has been a second unfortunate Mogwai related leak this week. This was forwarded to us by an anonymous source, it is the unedited Pitchfork.com review of The Hawk Is Howling."

However, akin to Mogwai's technicolor shroud of mystery, it seems entirely probable that Mogwai wrote the review themselves, insofar as most of the writing is not in the typical dissertation-esque format. For example, the supposed Pitchfork writer dives into album epilogue "The Precipice" by lamenting how "guitars curlicue around the pounding of mannish tom-toms like the garland of graying pubic hair around your uncle's boner… [they] offer you a lollipop and the promise of videogames, the ghost of Slint dulling your senses into a glassy-eyed hypnosis, until you realize that Mogwai are fucking you, fucking you, fucking you." In "Thank You Space Expert," Mogwai "absently strike their guitars, glockenspiels and who-diddly-dang-bangles."

Moreover, sarcastic jabs alluding to common criticisms of Pitchfork reviews are spread throughout ("I should note here that I will simply use the term ‘music’ in this review... no time for useless genre struggles"). The most compelling evidence, however, is that none of the credited authors in this particular review are listed on Pitchfork's staff masthead.

If it is real, Pitchfork should up their QA standards. However, since Mogwai has often demonstrated their sense of humor throughout their discography, I'll put my money on saying that this is a pretty hilarious prank from our favorite cheeky Scots. It appears as Pitchfork might be on the same shitlist as Blur, especially considering the hate brought in its review of Mr. Beast.

Look for the new "Pitchfork is Shite" shirts at the merch booth as they kick tires, light fires, et al. across North America with Fuck Buttons:

Matt and Kim Announce Tourdates, Dress Up As Barack and Michelle Obama For Halloween

By Annapocalypse on 09-02-2008

Last week, a lot of us were watching Obama’s Democratic National Convention speech. But unlike you, I was hanging out with Matt and Kim at the same time. All three of us were pretty drunk (Matt makes some mean screwdrivers), which led me to convincing both of them to dress up as Barack and Michelle Obama for the first show of their tour on Halloween. I know it sounds pretty cliché, but just imagine “Barack” and “Michelle” doing all of this. Now that’s patriotism.

Change we can believe in:

Dark Meat Set Out on North American Tour; Athens, GA Food Service Industry to Suffer Critical Understaffing

By Tiffani Harcrow on 09-02-2008

Flower children, gather ‘round — I have an announcement. The 17-piece psychedelic symphony (oh hey, cacophony is almost, like, the same word?!) known as Dark Meat (TMT Interview) will be rolling out the ol' 1972 GMC coach for a 21-date tour of the Midwest, East Coast, and Canada in support of the re-release of Universal Indians on Vice Records. Yes, it’s sad but true. For the months of September and October, stages will seem a little emptier, keyboards will have 170 less fingers tinkling on them, and bands all over Athens will limp sadly through their sets, as members fall prey to the Pied Piper’s call of the Dark Meat. But seriously, who’s going to make my latte?

Tourdates:

For the First Time in Ten Years, James Chance and the Contortions Will Flip Faces in NYC, Also Plan New Album

By Mike McHugh on 08-30-2008

Hot on the heels of Teenage Jesus and the Jerks’ June reunion concert, the hardest working man in No Wave, James Chance and his indispensable Contortions, will take the stage for the first time in a decade at New York’s City’s P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center this Saturday (August 30). Chance’s longtime collaborator Robert Aaron as well three original contortionists round out the band’s latest incarnation, but Chance has dedicated the evening’s performance to the Contortions’ original guitarist, the late Jerry Agony.

With 2008 marking the 30th anniversary of the legendary Brian Eno-curated No New York compilation, No Wave has managed to once again subvert its way back into the unpopular consciousness. Along with these two recent reunions, this year Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore and journalist Byron Coley published a memoir about the genre titled No Wave: Post-Punk. Underground. New York 1976-1980. Also in ’08, the entire recorded catalog of No New York alumnus Mars was finally released in a clean, non-water damaged format, via the 31-minute long Mars LP.

In addition to such confrontational classics as “Contort Yourself” and “I Can’t Stand Myself,” The Contortions will perform new songs from a forthcoming album. At the moment, there are no further details about the new record nor has the group announced any plans for a tour, but if this 2008 No Wave renaissance keeps cooking, in a few months James Chance and his impeccable coif might just stroll into your town! Keep your fingers crossed, America!

Trojan Condoms To Offer Grants to Musicians; Dreams Do Come True

By Annapocalypse on 08-29-2008

What do musicians like more than drugs? Sex, of course! Now, every rock ‘n’ roll bad boy’s dreams are about to come true, as Trojan® Brand Condoms is asking musicians to apply for its Trojan Artists Grants program.

But what exactly do condoms have to do with grants? According to Billboard, Trojan is asking each grant recipient to write a song that encourages the public to use a condom when they have sexual intercourse. I can almost hear it now: a country-tinged ballad from Michael Gira (with backing vocals from Joanna Newsom) about putting on a glove before you make love. Or The Hold Steady's Craig Finn writing an ode to his gigantic penis and how he uses Trojan Magnum’s before drunkenly sticking it inside a groupie. Sound like hits to me!

Grants for the program range from $3,000 to $4,000, and each project that Trojan funds will be posted on a website in partnership with MTV. The deadline for applications is September 5. Think you can do better than Craig Finn? Applications can be sent to trojanevolve@gmail.com.

Antony And The Johnsons Take Us To Another World on New EP, And I Don’t Mean Uranus!

By Emceegreg on 08-29-2008

The ghost-sounding, cross-dressing phenomenon that is Antony and The Johnsons will release the Another World EP October 5 on Secretly Canadian (October 6 via Rough Trade Records in the UK). Let's refer to the press release for some musical descriptions: "On the environmentally conscious title track, ‘Another World,’ describes a place that is disappearing. Antony’s inimitable voice, mesmerizing piano and intimate arrangements punctuate the ideas on the EP. ‘Shake that Devil’ showcases his bluesy wail and its drone is soon replaced with a driving vintage R&B beat that illustrates the lyrics’ ferocity."

The cover of the EP features a portrait of butoh co-founder and Japanese dance legend Kazuo Ohno, taken by Pierre-Olivier Deschamps in 1984 at Paris Theatre du Chatelet. Ohno is known for using grotesque imagery and wearing white body makeup as a part of butoh. And you can bet this cover will have people saying "Ohno he didn't!"

***NEWSBREAK***

Sorry for this interruption, but our sources at TMT have just unearthed some breaking news. Apparently, Billy Corgan has announced that his music should now and forever be labeled as "American Gothic." Yep, that's "American Gothic" music.

Once again, I apologize for this news break. We now return to less important news that does not concern Billy Corgan's ego.

Antony and The Johnsons have announced special live performances with orchestras at Los Angeles' Walt Disney Concert Hall and New York's Apollo Theatre in conjunction with the EP's release. The EP will precede the forthcoming album, The Crying Light, which is due in January 2009.

Another World tracklist:

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