Guy Hands Needs £180 Million By September to Save EMI Says Citigroup, But Won’t Change His Wonderful Name For All the Money In the World

British financial gadabout Guy Hands might have to reconsider some of the pies he’s got his fingers in this week, after it was revealed that Terra Firma, the “private equity vehicle” he runs, has had to renegotiate its agreement with Citigroup regarding the £2.5 billion (106,996,937,463,139.50 Drachma) Hands had to borrow in order to buyout EMI.

Under the new agreement, Terra Firma/EMI “must generate underlying earnings of £180m by September.” I don’t know. Honestly, there’s a bunch of predictions and figures regarding equity and publishing assets, but the fact of the matter is that Guy Hands needs you to buy the new Coldplay record, Viva la Vida, due June 16 on EMI. If you don’t, he may have to sell or refinance his beloved record company, a purchase that was probably an enormous mistake to begin with. At worst, Mr. Hands, it looks like you’ll be back in the lucrative world's waste management and outsourcing, where people treat each other right.

In related news, Mike Allen has left EMI.

With a knowing wink and a sapient grin, the rock gods (Lemmy, Thor, Keef, and their receptionist, Ðävé Ñâvårrò), have provided us a rare glimpse into the very near future, and the thing is simply dominated by new music ensemble Au. The much-discussed and even-more-loved (especially on this site) collective, centered around Portland's adopted prodigal son Luke Wyland, will be meandering around and playing live shows which will hopefully feature songs from its self-titled album and their forthcoming release Verbs. Verbs is out June 26 on Aagoo Records and is preceded May 20 by the claptastic carnival-like single “RR vs. D.”

Who gives a fuck about an “Oxford Comma”? Not us, we want Verbs instead!

1. All My Friends
2. Are Animals
3. Summerheat
4. RR vs. D
5. All Myself
6. Two Seasons
7. Prelude
8. The Waltz
9. Sleep

Wyland is hellbent on converting conventional music listeners one by one through his albums or by the dozens and hundreds and thousands and kazillions when playing live. Dissenters have no choice, so don’t rally against Au: you can’t win, and if you try, then you hate freedom and have no taste. We hope to announce widespread dates after Verbs takes a firm hold, but for now Wyland and cohorts will tour this beaten path on the West Coast of the U.S. of A. All dates are with like-minded manglers Parenthetical Girls and PWRFL Power.

Conjugate this:
05.23.08 - Seattle, WA - Happy Times Fun Club #
05.24.08 - Portland, OR - Backspace #
05.25.08 - Davis, CA - The Firehouse #
05.26.08 - Irvine, CA - UC Irvine #
05.27.08 - San Diego, CA - The Che #
05.28.08 - Los Angeles, CA - The Smell $
05.29.08 - San Luis Obispo, CA - Retrospect #
05.30.08 - San Francisco, CA - The Cushionworks #

# Parenthetical Girls & PWRFL Power

$ Parenthetical Girls, PWRFL Power & Abe Vigoda

Fact: The Don't Look Back concert series is influencing the music community outside of the ATP world. How do I know this? Well, word just got in that Liz Phair will perform Exile In Guyville in its entirety June 25 in New York!

The performance will take place at the Hiro Ballroom and is expected to be Phair alone on acoustic guitar, à la MTV Unplugged, the show that may very well have invented the acoustic guitar. Coincidentally, the event is just a day after the release of the Exile In Guyville reissue, which contains three unreleased B-sides ("Ant in Alaska," "Say You," and an untitled instrumental), as well as a DVD titled Guyville Redux. The ultra, mega, super deluxe reissue will be released digitally, physically, and vinyl-ly through ATO Records.

Tickets for the NY performance go on sale Wednesday, with Chicago and San Francisco events planned for the very near future. Pretty cool stuff, but it'd be much cooler to me if it were "Liz Phair to Perform Exile In Guyville In Wisconsin!"

High Places and Pontiak to Monkey Around with Thrill Jockey


- High Places' 03/07 - 09/07 is getting a physical release July 22 via Thrill Jockey. A new, as-yet untitled full-length is coming in September.
- Pontiak's Thrill Jockey debut, Sun on Sun, is being released September 9.
- More info on both bands and releases here.
- More monkey jokes here.

High Places tourdates:

# Wye Oak (hell, why not?)

Stephen Malkmus Will Not Be Appearing on the Kim Deal Tribute Album

Yyyeah. Anyway! American Laundromat Records announced that it will be releasing Gigantic - A Tribute to Kim Deal right about... uh, now, actually! That is, if you buy it directly from the label or on iTunes. For the brick-and-mortar set, the tribute album will drop June 3. You won't recognize too many of the artists appearing on this compilation, and that was done on purpose.

“This project was a pure labor of love for the label," says founder and president Joe Spadaro. "We wanted to get back to working with lesser-known indie arists. We started to produce Gigantic in the middle of producing the Pixies and Neil Young tributes. It was fun to work directly with the bands and hear their reinterpretations of Kim’s impressive body of work."

Tanya Donnelly of the Breeders/Belly/Throwing Muses penned the liner notes for Gigantic, so this is sure to be a Deal-approved tribute to her own art. Wise, I say. If there's anything we learned last month, it's that Kim Deal doesn't like it when people talk shit. Or allegedly talk shit. Either way...


Unwed Sailor Tour States With Syphilis, I Mean, Sybris

Unwed Sailor, of the Seattle, ambient-rock persuasion, are moving to infiltrate dozens of bars, taverns, and lounges across America with Sybris, in an effort to share their instrumental love with as many anonymous partners as possible, in what will be an epic act of unprotected rock ‘n’ roll.

Their latest album Little Wars was released in 2007 and is touted in the group's MySpace blog post, "Little Wars Release Date Announced," to be the "most ambitious and complex release yet," which they're probably contractually obligated to say about every new album. The post goes on: "The songs are energetic and highly melodic, but gently colored and focused by layered keyboards and percussion with a delicate ambience [sic]."

But as interesting is what blog commentators had to say: "Congratulations, guys. I'm really looking forward to giving the whole thing a listen," "cant wait for this," and "AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" The post garnered a total of six kudos, which I would say certainly warrants your attendance at one of their shows.

See you in Reno:

* Sybris

^ State Radio