Oh hey, Lessie… I mean, Ms. Feist, how’s it going? Good? How are your cats? Come to think, where have you been? I know you’ve been busy and all that with Beck and Jamie (and sorry for wearing my “JIM” shirt today, it’s all I had that was clean), and you had your attempt at “I Am Trying to Break Your Heart” called Look At What the Light Did Now. And you said “hello” to your old friends at Broken Social Scene last year (by the way, could you please tell Kevin to just let Lisa Lobsinger sing your part in “Almost Crimes” live? The lady he put in your place is an utter travesty on the ears).
But seriously, where have you been? Four years is a long time between albums, especially when said album (and accompanying iTunes ad) propelled you from suave Toronto scenester and BSS FWB with a voice far more alluring than Cat Power (sorry, Chan) to a folk-pop superstar that kicked KT Tunstall to the curb. No offense, but you lose momentum and interest to a lot of people after a while if you stop providing, you know, actual output. And people’s tastes change. I mean, look at me: you know I’ve been swooning over you since I first saw you play in support of BSS at the Avalon Ballroom back in 2005, but even that had to change, and now I’m fawning over Raphaelle Standell-Preston of BRAIDS. Sorry… hey, don’t mock me, I don’t just have a thing for Canadian chanteuses! Neko Case is an American!
…Anyway, any new developments, Ms. Feist? A new album, you say? Called Metals? Huh. Did you collaborate with Boris, per chance, seeing how they’re everywhere lately? No? That’s a shame. That is the most ridiculous collaboration idea ever, I will admit, but I’m sure the result will not only be incredibly super-awesome, but would likely top every damn critics’ list in the echo chamber at the end of the year. Maybe even the decade. Imagine that: the greatest album of the 2010s by a Canadian chanteuse and a Japanese metal band. What a strange thing.
This is not to say your new album will suck. I’m sure it will be great. You still working with Chilly and Mocky? Cool, that’s very promising. Wait, you brought in Valgeir Sigurðsson? Didn’t he do Medúlla and Vespertine? Bold may be an understated word for calling in one of the main producers for Björk after she went off the artsy-fartsy deep end (hey now, it’s just I loved her when she was in The Sugarcubes, she was cheeky then). Suddenly, the Boris collaboration idea makes even more sense. That should be your next project. I swear, you’ll be a darling of the critics and hipsters of both sexes will come in their pants (and deny it like they did with the Roots-Dirty Projectors and Flaming Lips-Neon Indian collabs).
Anyway, where’d you record? …Big Sur? I’ve been out here for how long and you didn’t tell me? Man, I would have given back your guitar instead of sold it for a synth pad six months ago if I’d known you were around. Ah well, when can I hear this? October 4 on Arts & Crafts? Good. And you’re teasing it at your website? Good, though I’m sure I’ll get a promo copy somehow from you beforehand.
Anyway, I gotta jam. Peace out or pieces, Lessie.