By Elzee on Feb 17 2009

I came to DC under false pretenses: I was told it would snow all the time, and so far all I’ve gotten is one storm that produced three measly inches. So, imagine my excitement when I looked out the window this morning and those glorious white clusters were gently tumbling downwards before my very eyes! Without considering this weather’s implications, I checked my email hoping to find a response to my Craigslist ad for an apartment or at the very least some funny porn spam. What I got was neither but was possibly better -- an email from my professor canceling my only class of the day! I was overjoyed.

Then I headed over to Ye Olde Tiny Mix Tapes to see what the music world had on the grill. What was cooking was a delicious stew of good news (note to self: food metaphor not appropriate in this context)! As you may or may not know, only songwriters, not musicians, get paid when their songs are played on terrestrial airwaves (this is not the “good news” part). But a bipartisan coalition of House members is fighting to pass H.R. 4789 -- the Performance Rights Act -- which would compensate performers every time one of their songs is broadcast on commercial radio.

According to CNET News, this would be tremendously helpful in curbing losses from illegal downloading and plummeting CD sales. Although most of my favorite musicians write their own songs, it is a little sad that Katy Perry doesn’t get any money when “Hot ‘n Cold” is played on the radio, so I hope this bill passes and that this snow stays on the ground.

By Nobodaddy on Feb 16 2009

Okay, so first things first: According to a modest little rag called the New York Times, Sirius XM radio is preparing to file for a possible bankruptcy. Second things second: No, you’re not crazy, the two satellite-radio businesses did just merge in July 2008, and yes, that usually means that the new company should emerge with greater solvency than before. But apparently the extra-terrestrial nature of this whole business just means that the laws of nature just don’t apply, because the joint company hilariously remains in a $3.25 billion debt. This begs the question: is Stern’s creepy voice really worth launching literal fleets of satellites into outer space for?? I mean, besides, we all saw what happened in Independence Day with those satellites, right? Think about it.

Of course, Howard “turn around... show me, show us your rack... ohmygodlookatthat... so hot, so hot!” Stern isn’t the only culprit here; this has a lot to do with that whole credit squeeze deal as well. But the high price of “talent” like Stern and that whole firing-rockets-into-space thing ain’t exactly cheap. And while subscribers have been growing steadily, less people are currently buying cars, and thus less people are installing this not-much-better-sounding and much-more-expensive instrument in their car. Plus, attempts to lure a younger audience have so far been... well, you know, met with cynicism. Sirius XM also recently announced that there would be rate increases for new customers as the satellite radio company scrounged for more revenue. Sounds like “Sirius trouble,” am I right folks!? Gabba-gabba-hey!

While a bankruptcy announcement wouldn’t likely cause any service interruption for customers and rack-connoisseurs, the NYT reports that the company could ultimately be forced to terminate the contracts with Stern, Martha Stewart and others. Or... they could just combine those two shows, am I right!? High five?? No? Alright!

Anyway, back to this horrible situation that doesn’t affect me in any way: Sirius XM owes a $175 million payment on its massive debt by the end of this month, which the company likely will be unable to pay. However, this financial pinch has opened the door for satellite TV company Echostar (who already bought up $400 million of Sirius XM’s debt that was due in December 2008) to take over Sirius XM. Sirius chief executive Mel Karmazin and Echostar chief executive Charles W. Ergen are reportedly in talks to consider Sirius XM’s options and a possible takeover. Possibly via satellite! Hey, come on! High Five!